That's right folks, the standard bearer of tasteless online Awards returns! Celebrating its 78th straight year of offensiveness! Just ignore the part where there's no clear-cut evidence of the first 72! ...It happened! Trust us!  It's just that we happened to be the only website on the  Internet for 65+ years, and thus keeping track of these things was next to impossible. That's all! I mean, seriously, who could forget Hollywoodland Hogan being bestowed the honor of first ever Wrestler of the Year in 1930? (Hulk was already some 40 years into his career at that point.). Everybody? Maybe.
Onto the Awards!
With the gracious stepping aside of our fearless leader--and now, fearless quadriplegic, Sean Carless-- it opened up the contest significantly, and *finally* allowed for the first time in 4 years, someone *other* than the guy counting the fucking votes to be crowned WINNER. Imagine that.
This year's contest was an amazing story. Truly. It only looked and read impossibly boring. That story? Could Catherine Perez emerge from last year's Staff favorite to this year's reader's favorite? Would a dark-horse choice emerge from the shadows and pull it off or at the very least have a strong showing? Or would Canadian Bacon almost backdoor his way into this thing after writing ONE FUCKING COLUMN, and further blackmail readers by putting a death curse upon them until voting his way by inserting the evil RING videotape into his propaganda video? The answer sadly to this is YES.
But alas,like Connor MacLeod once said--before getting decapitated anyway 10 years later like his fucking Prize never happened-- THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.
And that one?


Winner: Catherine Perez: 36.1% of the Vote.

1st Runner Up: Canadian Bacon 28.25% of the Vote.

2nd Runner Up: Anthony Dean: 9.14% of the Vote.

3rd Runner Up: Shane Steele 8.03% of the Vote.

Others: 18.48% of the Vote.

Total Votes counted:  3601

In the year 2008, Catherine Perez emerged as the IWC's premier female Rasslin journalist/satirist/Gynecologist, and her dominating showing in this year's prestigious imaginary contest proved one thing undisputedly: Reader's love them some Catherine!--while no doubt thinking that just because she too also likes wrestling, and is female, that this is FINALLY the "in" for them to get laid.  BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT GIRLS ON THE INTERNET JUST LOVE STRANGE FAT DUDES WITH NO LIVES WHO JUST HAPPEN TO SHARE INTERESTS. And they especially love it when they ask what you look like on message-boards! (That's just the sexiest!). Poor pathetic bastards. 
So, here's to Catherine, Deadface Walking (whatever the fuck that is), and to 2009; where hopefully, if history repeats itself, the Staff can start wishing death upon her and her Undertaker-like streak, much like they did Sean, who's now dead by way of vehicular manslaughter as a result of their collective bad juju and ill-will. 1 down. 1 to go!
In any event, here is what Catherine had to say about her vaunted victory!:
HOLY SHIT~! I'm about as surprised as Herbie Hancock after he won Album of the Year last February! I'll be honest, I was kind of dreading writing this acceptance speech, because I am terrible at putting my feelings on paper, or, in this case, on a computer. Either way, I'll do my best to not reduce you readers to tears of boredom.

First and foremost, I'd like to thank Sean Carless for graciously bowing out of the competition this year. Not only did it give the rest of us more of an opportunity to take home the prestigious Invisible Writer of the Year Plaque, but I'm sure Canadian Bacon appreciates the extra votes he got this year for his one, single, solitary column. More importantly, I'd also like to thank Sean for allowing me my own little slice of the World Wide Web with Deadface Walking. Sean's like McDonald's for allowing minorities like me the opportunity to serve my community and whatnot, and for that, my race card remains neatly tucked into my wallet, which I'm sure he appreciates.

I'd like to thank my mom for conceiving me and for going through a horrific ordeal in birthing me. Lord knows I'd never want to force a ten-pound bun out of my oven. I'd compare that to shitting out a
ten-pound sack of potatoes for HOURS and cursing Pepto Bismol for being so fucking useless, but I don't want to horrify any of you. Whoops, too late~!

I'd like to thank Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane for influencing my wit and sarcasm from the tender age of ten. It's great to know that I didn't go through three consecutive years of grade school being known as "Daria" for nothing. Thanks to my best friend Katy for talking me into sending a sample column to TWF. Huge thanks to Vince Russo, Dutch Mantel and everyone at TNA for the shitty Jackass storyline that fueled the huge rant that was my sample column. You know there's a problem when you're promoting a movie full of idiots and its idiots are probably too embarrassed to appear on your show to help promote it. Dear God.

I'd like to thank my fellow TWF Staffers for writing some great columns year-round. Their quality writings are a big influence on my own, you know. We've gone through a pretty blah year of wrestling, so I'm glad we all made it out of 2008 alive, or at least awake. Except for Joe Merrick, I guess. Where the fuck did he go? Anyway, thanks, Staff, for helping make a website I like so much that I'll sometimes have three separate tabs running TWF on Firefox for no reason other than I might be developing Alzheimer's at a very early age.

Many thanks to Adobe for creating Photoshop. Without Photoshop, I'd be hundreds of dollars richer right now, and probably still using Paint Shop Pro. Yep.

Before I start rambling, I'd like to thank YOU for voting for me! I really appreciate your appreciation for Deadface Walking. If I had known that Deadface would have the fanbase that it has today, I would have named it something other than Deadface Walking. I still have no idea what the fuck a Deadface is, or why it's walking. I've tried renaming it, but why fuck with a seemingly good thing? Anyway, I feel pretty humble after winning this award, and, thankfully, I don't have to have the Iron Sheik's boner nearly tearing through my anus like Hulk Hogan did in '84. A webpage about writing "a great acceptance speech" tells me that I have to end this with a call to action to inspire you to "greater heights", so... READ MORE DEADFACE AND TWF IN 2009, YAAAAAY!!! Thank you, and goodnight! Damn it, I wish I had a microphone so I could drop it all bad-ass like Chris Rock...
But that's not all; here's what Catherine's peers had to say about her!:
SHANE STEELE:  Deadface Walking is something I look forward to every week. It's consistently funny and the "illustrations" are hilarious. Props to you, Catherine.
NICOLE COOPER:  Without a doubt, Deadface Walking is consistently the best wrestling-related column posted on the internet each week (or whenever Catherine so chooses). Her photoshops are hilarious, and she makes me give a shit about what's going happening on the inside of the wrestling world. It's a hard task to accomplish, but Catherine has made it possible. Because of that, I thank her for being so hilarious and for being so awesome at Photoshop. And not to mention, she can write some seriously great Mike Adamle and Don West interviews. I'd imagine it's hard to capture the essence such morons, but Catherine does it, and she does it well. So to end this as nicely as I possibly can, you've done absolutely great so far, and I can only hope that you stick around for a long, long time and continue to make crappy news actually worth reading.
NEIL MCGILLOWAY: In my opinion, the Writer of the Year award should go to the writer who can do it all.  Recaps, columns, you name it.  Of course, they should also be able to do it while remaining consistently funny.  With that in mind...have to give the nod to CATHERINE PEREZ this year.  Her column is enough of a variety show itself (news reports, "interviews," and inserting some good old-fashioned satire here and there), but she did that near-weekly, AND managed to keep it hilarious.  Add on that she picked up the slack with a few PPV recaps this year too, and you got a woman who can do it all.  This may sound like a terrible comparison, but hear me out.  Catherine is the Stephanie to Sean's Vince.  Were scaffolding to fall on Sean tomorrow, who would pick up this site in his stead?  In my opinion, Catherine.  She is quite like Sean, just younger, and with a vagina.  Considering the audience of this site, I think Mr. Carless should be watching his back...
NEIL CATHAN: Once again, for providing the funniest thing on the iternet on a weekly basis (And because cancer of the cock scares me), I will give this award to the excellent Catherine Perez (please don't give me cock and/or vagina cancer.)
CANADIAN BACON: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!1111111111 Damn yous, Catherine, you evil Succubus! I know you slept with the judges or at the very least napped with them. I know the truth! You're in collusion with the evil doer Sean Carless to keep me from my destiny! This is like the biggest conspiracy since that one time with those guys and the secrets. HOW CAN THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME???!!!!!! Does no one see true talent when they don't see it? You used to be my favourite member of Los Boriquas, but that day is over my friend. Savio Vega was stupid to trust in you! And so was I! I now regret the moment I ever decided to give you my flower over the computer. VOTE BACON IN 2009.
Now it's time for the other half of the Writer of the Year Poll. The Award where the vaunted and celebrated and revered and holy shit get me a thesaurus so I can come up with more words to say awesome, TWF Staff, choose who they themselves this year felt deserved the honor of being honorably honored in the field of being Awesome. And get this, only one person voted for themselves this year! And it wasn't even Bacon! Holy shit. When Bacon has more honor and character than you, it's time to reevaulate your whole life!
In any event, this year's award was an especially close contest. But in the end, we could only hand out one non-existent plaque, and that honor goes to....

Anthony Dean
 45.45% of the Staff Vote.
Others: 54.55%
Total Votes counted: 11
In 2008, amongst TWF Staff, only one man stood tall--whilst standing on a crate-- ANTHONY DEAN. That's right, Anthony Dean--the man who started off this year "changing Friday nights" (by delivering recaps late Saturday nights and sometimes Sundays) only to become the official TWF WWE PPV Recapper, and do an incredibly awesome job to boot. (Or whatever foot apparel you prefer.).
In any event, Anthony earned this Award. Because, as anyone who has ever done one will attest, taking on the PPV Rants full-time at TWF is a lot like taking a bullet for the President. Only you don't die from it like the aforementioned Secret Service. But boy do you often wish that was the case. (You get a few Cyber Sunday's under you belt, and all of a sudden shuffling off this mortal coil is looking pretty good.).
 So here's to Anthony Dean. The greatest human being that ever lived who currently does TWF PPV Reports. Enjoy your award. For it is an honor truly priceless. And not just because no one on earth would pay a fucking thing for it. Although, that's the main reason.
In any event, here is what Anthony had to say about his victory!:
Fellow writers of the TWF Universe Crab Nebula (don't worry if the name hasn't caught on yet, IT WILL) thank you for your votes. I know it's hard to resist the urge to vote for yourself. I know because I just went right ahead and did it. But for those of you who didn't, I thank you for your humility, and would like to remind you where it got you. So, yeah, thanks for that. Seriously though, being named Writer of the Year by the TWF Staff is an honor, perhaps even moreso than being voted WOTY by the fans (mostly because I didn't win that award, just roll with it) because the writers on the TWF Staff are some of the funniest people I've ever had the privilege of not meeting. And despite the occasional late or hurried or completely shitfaced drunken recap, it really is a lot of work, having to watch the shows or think of column ideas, and then having to not only write such a large amount on a regular basis, but to consistently make it funny and presentable. Not to mention attempting to cope with the psychologically degrading emails you people like to send. Like I said, it's a lot of work. I greatly appreciate being named the 2008 TWF Writer of the Year by the Staff and by you, the reader, for, um, not organizing a petition to have me removed from the site? I'm pulling at straws here to mention you guys while blatantly ignoring the fact that like three people beat me out in the Fan's Choice Award. So anyway, thanks a lot everyone, and please dear God stop sending such hostile emails, and maybe once and a while even send a nice letter a writer's way if you enjoy their work (but as long as you stop insinuating things about the size of my genitals and where I like to put them, I'll be happy). Allright, thanks again. END SPEECH.
And here's what others had to say about Anthony!
CATHERINE PEREZ: My choice for Writer of the Year is Anthony Dean! Recapping a pay-per-view event is pretty hard (well, it was for me), but Anthony reported pretty much all of them this year in such timely fashion and with a fire in his eyes that nobody saw because we all live hundreds of miles away from each other or something like that. Anyway, recapping 36 hours of wrestling programming... that takes balls. And a real reliable streaming website 480 bucks to watch the shows through honest, moral means. Like I said, recapping 36 hours of wrestling is tough as fuck, yet Anthony persevered kind of like Rocky at the top of the steps. Only, sadly, no inspirational music was played for Anthony. I guess my vote will have to suffice; just read it as you hum Eye of the Tiger or something. ANTHONY DEAN: Manly Slogan Goes Here. What? I couldn't think of a manly slogan.
ESBEN EVANS: I voted for me in the polls, but that was because I didn't want 0 votes…I'm pathetic like that…however when it does matter, I'm gonna say Anthony Dean this year. His Pay-Per-View rants are becoming the thing I like the most about this site, slightly overtaking Catherine (who ruined her shot by ratting out Stevie. BOOOO!)…plus he had a pretty funny beatdown against Neil. Here's to you Anthony, I hope I get it…err…you get it.
SEAN CARLESS: 45.45% of the time, he's Writer of the year EVERY TIME. For me, it was simple choice. He gets my vote for accomplshing the one thing no one else on this site (myself included) has EVER accomplished: Getting laid, making a comfortable living, basic hygeine, adequate social skills, a low body fat ratio sticking at WWE PPV reports and being hilarious the entire time. YES. That's a huge accomplishment where I come from. Where I live now? Not so much.
CANADIAN BACON: I hate you Antonino Dean with your beautiful nest of flowing hair and your soulful eyes, and your thievery of glories. I will never ever forget this moment that I can't remember. Count on it.

Like an unwanted brother (not MVP), the following Award was a new addition to the Fanny's. It's sole purpose for being created is to celebrate the single best column produced this year--and as such perhaps reward those who contributed an exemplarily effort-- yet  due to infrequency or prison incarceration were ineligible for the actual WRITER OF THE YEAR AWARD.  Standard TV Reports were not considered for nomination in this category, as there were just too many submissions to comb through for consideration. So don't feel bad (as if someone who reads this site would feel guilt about anything...).
And the winner?


SEAN CARLESS: WWE KIDS PREVIEW : 29.73% of the Vote.

1st Runner Up: FANNY AWARDS 2007 15.14% of the Vote.

2nd Runner Up DEADFACE WALKING (09/21/08) 12.97% of the Vote.
3rd Runner Up: BRINGING HOME THE BACON (01/28/08) 11.89% of the Vote.
Others: 30.27%
Total Votes counted: 3850
This year, there was a lot of columns that truly delivered, but only one caught the attention of WWE Legal!: WWE KIDS. That's right, apparently WWE Legal did not find the merriment and humor that we all did in defenseless doe-eyed children looking fore WWE's actual Kids website, only to find us . It's true. In that moment, Junior was spared the indignity of a terrible Rey Mysterio flash maze, and instead questioned their own mortality, humanity and soul, whilst finding a picture of a child sobbing whilst looking into the cavernous crevice of Vince McMahon's alabaster cornhole. Oh well.  Childhood had to end eventually. Even at 5. Even.
In any event, by virtue of this, and the fact it set TWF's all-time hit record (don't doubt the lure of a game where you can literally CUM IN KELLY KELLY'S FACE) there was really no other option. Because, let's face it, if it makes Vince McMahon cry, IT HAS TO WIN.
So, let us congratulate its evil architect, our Chief Inspirational Officer, Sean Carless-- a true pioneer in the field of upsetting pussies and destroying childhood innocence. Here's to you, buddy.
But hey, here's what Sean had to say!:
"I Can't feel my legs. Someone...please....kill me."
OK, then.
And finally, our last Award. Also a new submission this year. PHOTOSHOP OF THE YEAR! That's right, every year, TWF is responsible for more wrestling themed photoshops than any Wrestling website in the known galaxy and quadrant-- and now its time to honor the best of the worst of those 'shops! Some people might say that the time & effort put into creating hundreds of images of Vince McMahon being raped by panda bears could be better used; to like say, stop cancer (not HHH), but hey, what fun is that? Besides, no one important ever got cancer.
There were 12 of the best TWF 'Shops nominated , but only one could win. And what a winner it was. A winner that  personally bought you a ticket to Hell for laughing at it and its terribly insensitive content. Oh well. It wasn't like you weren't going there anyway.
And that winner?....
 23.86% of the Vote.
So, there you have it. 500 layers later a legend was born. Then forgotten about completely.
The winning photoshop--formatted into video form so not to crash the site-- was actually the brainchild of Sean Carless.  It was the tasteless byproduct of a story reported earlier this year that Owen Hart was in fact still haunting Kemper Arena; and as such, the lengths Vince & co. would go to finally shake that monkey off their back. This was the end result. (And also the main reason there was no DIVA'S SEARCH this year.  I mean, that Ecto-containment unit ain't going to pay for itself!).
1st Runner Up:
 16.76% of the Vote
2nd Runner Up
14.49% of the Vote.
3rd Runner Up:
14.2 of the Vote.
Others: 30.69%
Total Votes counted: 3510
Well, that's it for us in 2008! 2009 HERE WE COME. (Not literally. Ok, at least not most of us.).