This week's challenge: TWF RANTS. If
you're a longtime TWF reader, I'm sure you know all about our patented
(Seriously, Sean had them trademarked along with the phonograph and the
light-bulb in the latter 1800's). You know, our personal brand of review
concept that was blatantly stolen from Scott Keith, and then remolded
into an image not so unpleasant to look at? (Seriously. Scott Keith was
Bieber, belting out "duds" and defending short-armed murderers
while ol' Justin was still trying to avoid that pesky coat hanger in his
Mom's unfortunate Vag.).
Now, the Rookies were given leeway to write about whatever event they chose (despite Sean's not-so-subtle-suggestion to cover the events he himself was too lazy to review), and the following were the end result! So check 'em out, and vote for your favorite, because your decision will ruin at least one of their lives! (No pressure, though!).
JEFF KNOTT presents the WWF ROYAL RUMBLE 1992 RANT! A night where a destitute Nikolai Volkoff's dreams of winning the WWF Title could finally come true. (Umm, it didn't.). Plus, Ric Flair makes history, and Vince McMahon turns back time a la Superman to make you believe people didn't love seeing Hulk Hogan get tossed on his big orange ass. CLICK HERE TO READ.
ZACH MORRISON presents the WWE TLC 2009 RANT, a night where many fans of the mid-90s pop group willingly dropped 40 bucks to see their favorite R&B girl group reunite, only to instead see a dead man bash an animal in the head with a steel chair, two blondes hurl each other off ladders, and a Pale Irishman toss a former Vanilla Ice wannabe through a cheaply made table. CLICK HERE TO READ.
ERNIE BRANNIGAN presents the WWE BRAGGING RIGHTS 2010 RANT, featuring a Main Event no one on earth would brag about. But on a side-note, the Secret to ending the Streak was finally revealed: BOOK UNDERTAKER IN A BURIED ALIVE MATCH. Has this fucker ever won more than one? CLICK HERE TO READ.
JOSH KENNEDY presents the WWF SURVIVOR SERIES 1993 RANT, featuring Lex Luger and the Deadman leading the battle against ACTUAL DEAD MEN. Seriously, 3/4 of the Foreign Fanatics truly did not survive the Survivor Series! (I hope the Mounties have a good Healthcare plan, Jacques!). CLICK HERE TO READ.
DN SPUNK presents the XPW HOSTILE TAKEOVER RANT, a show I'd give two thumbs up to, but I owed Rob Black some money and he just sent two dudes to my apartment! Is one thumb good enough? Click HERE TO READ.
RIGGS MURTAGH presents the WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER 2010 RANT, the event that kinda sorta negates the Royal Rumble, but hey, whatever. On this night, in an effort to peeve Undertaker, Shawn Michaels decides to camp out (he was already dressed for the occasion/ready to rape canoers) under the ring for three hours instead of, I don't know, buying some fucking bolt cutters? CLICK HERE TO READ.
PAUL G. PARRY presents a review of WRONG SIDE OF TOWN, starring Dave Batista and Rob Van Dam! Can RVD even fight with no ropes near by? Will he keep running? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT.