Welcome to the debut of TWF LTR, where eight of our highest touted writers of the past and present have re-assembled, coming together a la WWE as "Pros", to find our next breakout star! Unless "next breakout star" is copywritten by the WWE. Then we're looking for our next big-time Staffer.
The rules are simple: the Rookies are going to compete in a series of challenges (which will be announced below), and their progress will be voted upon by their eight Pros who represent 50% of the vote, while TWF's readers-- YES, YOU~!-- will represent the other 50%, voting in a poll on this very page that will seal our Rookies' fates. The Rookies who rank the lowest after each voting session will be eliminated from the competition and/or disposed of in an unsavory fashion, while the others will remain and repeat the process until only one is left standing victorious over the stinking heaps of embarrassing defeat that are the other seven Rookies. They'll probably just band together to systematically destroy TWF after a few weeks anyway.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. Not only will our winner receive a swanky writing gig here at TheWrestlingFan.com, he'll also receive a Blu-Ray DVD of a WWE release, AND a copy of the upcoming WWE Smackdown vs. RAW 2011 video game on the console of their choosing. YES, EVEN ATARI 2600, except not really!
So, without further ado: THE ROOKIES: Paul G. Parry (w/ The Low Blow's Joe Merrick); Jeff Knott (w/ the Best Damn RAW Rant, Period's Cameron Burge); Goot Van Piddlefuck (w/ The Dungeon's Anvil's Swagbag); Riggs Murtagh (w/ The Rocktagon's James Swift); Ernie Brannigan (w/ White Vans and Candy's James Walker); Zach Morrison (w/ Bringing Home the Bacon's Canadian Bacon); DN Spunk (w/ TWF owner and The Backleg Frontkick's Sean Carless); and Josh Kennedy (with Deadface Walking's Catherine Perez)~! They're wilder! They're younger! They make the rain fall harder! Their bios can be found on your right. Get to know them, and remember to vote for your favorite when the time comes!
And, hey, while you're still here, take a look at LTR's intro video and theme song sitting below the roster!
This week, Paul G. Parry has departed the competition due to unforeseen circumstances as explained (not really) above. The TWF Pros hope that our remaining Rookies will step it up between now and the end of the contest, 'cause this week's results, well... ahem.
This week's challenge, one near and
dear to our hearts here at TWF, if in fact, we had them: A PHOTOSHOP
CHALLENGE. That's right, we here at TWF are known world-wide
for our patented photoshoppery (You've likely stolen one yourself and
then pretended you made it with your own little grubby mitts at whatever
bush-league forum you post at) - and as such, we thought we'd combine
our two great loves,
porn ALTERED IMAGERY AND SATIRE,
into one perverse spectacle that we will call: THE TWF LTR WRESTLING/KIDS
TV CHALLENGE. And what that will entail is each Rookie creating
a mock ad or poster for a mash-up or satire of a real kids show, only
with WRESTLERS in said roles. The best entry has been determined by both
Catherine Perez and Sean Carless, and
our winner has earned a special REWARD: an automatic bump to number
one in the rankings! Curious to see the results? Throw on the
beer goggles and click the link below!
NEXT WEEK, our Rookies are going to make up wrestling
NEWZ - a paragraph you see on less reputable news sites. The
rookies will write up a headline and a paragraph-long story that is funny
or ridiculous. It can either be based on real newz with the absurdity
turned up (i.e. CM Punk in the doghouse because he wore a fur coat to
TV taping; Batista hates cancer because his wife won't vacuum and tidy
up the house because of it - all news stories that LEGIT appeared in the
last few years) or one that they totally made up for shits & giggles
with zero reality to it. (like the time Sean Carless claimed Linda McMahon
was removed as CEO because she became self-aware and killed most of the
stock-holders a la ED-209). SO PUT YOUR JOURNALISM HATS ON AND MAKE SOME
CLICK HERE TO SEE THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE~!
Conceived during Hour 4 of a Punky Brewster marathon, Josh Kennedy combines all the elements necessary for being a writer on The Wrestling Fan: crippling self-doubt, unearned vanity, and an all-consuming obsession with movies that have "Bikini" in the title. Paired with Pro Catherine Perez, the Miss Linda to his Adrian Street, nothing can stop this urbane psychopath from winning, unless the challenge requires him to watch The Best of Hornswoggle, Volume 2.