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That said, this concept/contest is obviously stolen borrowed directly from WWE's NXT show - although our dance-off's will be significantly sexier/fatter; and our awkward  post-contest beatdowns that no one cares about so much better coordinated!
Anyway, obviously the moniker of NXT was taken, so this is how LTR came about -  mostly because we couldn't think of an XTREME shortform for "eventually" - our fearless leader's lifestyle mantra of laziness and apathy.
As for what our contest actually implies - it's simple. We are looking to find a talented, unsung hero of rasslin writery,
who can shatter the mold, stand-out as a king or queen of Satire, (in whatever form that takes, be it photoshopping, dialogue driven parodies, videos, comics, music; whatever), and in turn return the site back to its glory years before we became 90% TV reviews and Sean Carless stopped giving a shit.
And this is where YOU come in.  8 of our highest touted writers of the past & present have re-assembled, coming together ala WWE as "Pros" - and after a selection process (as read below), we will choose eight of you as finalists, and as with the NXT show, you will then be paired up with  a suitable Pro for the LULZ/dynamic, and in turn, you will then compete in a series of tasks/contests that will prepare you for life here at TWF - tasks that include a full gamut of what is done here and even a few ridiculous writing assignments featuring some very special soon-to-be- announced guests to test your mettles.
From there, you and your progress will be voted upon by the said 8 Pros, who'll represent 50% of the vote, while TWF readers themselves will represent the other half, voting in a poll on this very page which will in turn decide your fate. Those who have the lowest score will obviously be eliminated from the competition/ beaten to death and disposed off efficiently, quickly and cleanly, (get your estates in order now), while the others will remain until we repeat the process until only one of you fuckers are left standing/sitting/wallowing in your own filth.
 BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. Now, obviously, the big winner will receive a full-time gig here - but since that's not exactly the best motivation on earth to compete, there's more~! The winner will also receive a Blu-Ray DVD of a WWE release, and a copy of the upcoming WWE Smackdown vs. RAW 2011 video game for the console of their choice. They will then have a prostitute, drug-tested and pre-bathed, arrive at their place of residence to orally pleasure them in ways that will likely destroy the moral fabric of modern society. Or maybe just the first two.

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As for how to enter - it's also simple. Submit a paragraph HERE, creatively and uniquely describing WHY YOU would be the ideal next TWF columnist, and what YOU can/will bring to the table that will set you apart from anyone/everyone else. The 8 best and most entertaining entries will then be chosen, and the contest will begin soon after~!
 Good luck. And may God have mercy on your souls.
Your number one choice for Pro-Wrestling Satire. (Occasionally.)

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November 2006


by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).