TWF LTR -
TODAY'S BREAKOUT IWC
this concept/contest is obviously stolen
borrowed directly from WWE's NXT show -
although our dance-off's will be significantly
sexier/fatter; and our awkward post-contest
beatdowns that no one cares about so much better
Anyway, obviously the moniker of NXT was taken, so
this is how LTR came about - mostly
because we couldn't think of an XTREME shortform for
"eventually" - our fearless leader's lifestyle
mantra of laziness and apathy.
As for what our
contest actually implies
simple. We are looking to find a talented, unsung hero of rasslin
who can shatter the mold, stand-out as a king or
queen of Satire, (in whatever form that takes, be it
photoshopping, dialogue driven parodies, videos,
comics, music; whatever), and in turn return the
site back to its glory years before we became 90% TV
reviews and Sean Carless stopped giving a shit.
is where YOU
come in. 8 of
our highest touted writers of the past & present
have re-assembled, coming together ala WWE as "Pros"
- and after a selection process (as read below), we
will choose eight of you as finalists, and as with
the NXT show, you will then be paired up with
a suitable Pro for the LULZ/dynamic, and in turn,
you will then compete in a series of tasks/contests
that will prepare you for life here at TWF - tasks
that include a full gamut of what is done here and
even a few ridiculous writing assignments featuring
some very special soon-to-be- announced guests to
test your mettles.
you and your progress will be voted upon by the said 8 Pros, who'll represent 50% of the vote,
while TWF readers
themselves will represent the other half, voting
in a poll on this very page which will in turn
decide your fate. Those who have the lowest
score will obviously be
eliminated from the competition/ beaten to
death and disposed off efficiently, quickly and
cleanly, (get your estates in order now), while the
others will remain until we repeat the process until
only one of you fuckers are left
standing/sitting/wallowing in your own filth.
NOT ALL. Now, obviously, the big winner will receive
a full-time gig here - but since that's not exactly
the best motivation on earth to compete, there's more~! The
winner will also receive a Blu-Ray DVD of a WWE release, and a copy of the
upcoming WWE Smackdown vs. RAW 2011 video game for
the console of their choice. They will
then have a prostitute, drug-tested and
pre-bathed, arrive at their place of residence to
orally pleasure them in ways that will likely
destroy the moral fabric of modern society. Or maybe
just the first two.
As for how
to enter - it's also simple.
Submit a paragraph
HERE, creatively and uniquely
describing WHY YOU would be the ideal next TWF columnist, and what
can/will bring to the table that will set you apart
from anyone/everyone else. The 8 best and most
entertaining entries will then be chosen, and the
contest will begin soon after~!
And may God have mercy on your souls.
one choice for Pro-Wrestling Satire. (Occasionally.)