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TOP 5 Ways Michael Cole has ruined commentary for the WWE

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

September 1, 2011


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I hate Michael Cole…

Yes, I know. Who doesn't? Hard to believe this is the same guy who's claim to fame was being raped by Heindrich was a main event for Wrestlemania (One of the many reasons that Mania sucked!). I said it in the last Top 5! that Cole's match with Jerry Lawler got a US Title match bumped off the show. The WWE Brass thought this match between two announcers needing MORE time. When given the choice between a wrestling match and a waste of time, we got a waste of time. And they put Cole over! Unbelievable!

But this is only scratching the surface! Cole has been a pain in the backside of many and has been the reason the Mute button has been making a comeback when Cameron Burge and others watch WWE Programming. So this week, on behalf of Cole, I give you this weeks TOP 5!

TOP 5 Ways Michael Cole has ruined commentary for the WWE

5. HE ANNOUNCES ON BOTH SHOWS

This one kind of frustrates me. Its nice to have the option if you don't like a certain someone on one show, or voice in this case, you can at least watch the other show and get a break from the character. As much as I loved Bobby Heenan (expect that name to appear a lot) back in the day, I appreciate the fact that he wasn't there for Wrestling Challenge. The reason? It made me appreciate Bobby all the more when he showed up.

Things have changed in the WWE, though. WWE really has no qualms about beating a horse to death… till its a bloody stump. So when Cole unfortunately caught fire with his heel persona on NXT (I so regret ever writing that any of that was good) WWE decided the best course of action was to have him on every show. So Heel Cole went from something cool to see on NXT, to something you could not escape from.

Some of you maybe asking "But if this angle was cool at the time, why was it a problem that he was on all the shows?" There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, trust me. Even if they kept him off Smackdown only, that would have been nice (and inspired me to watch the show). On top of this, there are several other factors that would "evolve" from Cole. These traits didn't help his cause any…

4. THE BICKERING ANNOUNCERS…

If there is one part of the show that I hate now thanks to advent of Heel Cole, its the fact the announcers fight about everything! I've seen them go several matches and only call one move, then go back to arguing over why D Bryan is a nerd. Its ridiculous. The purpose of an announcer is to call the action, and because of Cole, they are failing at that.

Look I understand what they're trying to do. The arguments between Brain and Gorilla were legendary. Heck, I loved Vince's fights with Ventura as well! But heres the thing. Did they fight? Yes, but the match still came first. Yes, they cracked some zingers, but that stopped when someone hit a big move.

It was easily at its worst when Lawler and Cole were feuding. Nothing makes me look forward to a match more than hearing two guys talk about it non-stop on every show.

The announcers will fight about anything from what Josh Matthews eats, to something Booker did last week, and the fact that Lawler is old… and the match up at hand has suffered because of it. I admit however, they are getting better, but they could always relapse very easily.

3. The Announcers are now Characters

As I said, the announcers are supposed to call the action. Whats more, there job is to not upstage the talent. The wrestlers are the focus of the show, always have been… till today. I have said this many times now, but Cole got a match at Wrestlemania, and several PPVs following that that because the WWE liked his character. You really think this didn't have some kind of effect? You telling me Lawler, Booker T, Matt Stiker, etc didn't see that and think "I wonder if I could do that?"

Going down the list, Jerry Lawler… for whatever the reason got a WWE Title match at a PPV and several victories over the champion Miz. An announcer was in the WWE Title scene! They finally have someone other than John Cena get a shot at the WWE title at the PPV, and they do it to push Jerry Lawler? On top of this, it looks like they're going to have O'Gillicutty feud with him next… oh boy. Matt Striker, as of this time, has gotten several matches against Darren Young. Granted, he lost, but the proof is shown that he's already getting ring ready just in case. Booker T, who preformed last at this year's Royal Rumble (and a Raw as well), has made me take notice simply due to how over the top his character is. His character has been compared to Harry Carry in how crazy he is, and it makes me wonder if this is a pitch for a new character.

My point being is that a lot of announcers have seen the advent of Cole as perhaps the proof that their dream of wrestling at Wrestlemania isn't lost… when sorry, it should be. At this rate, we should probably expect Josh Matthews vs Justin Roberts (with Damian) at this year's Wrestlemania.

2. JERRY LAWLER

This is kind of a really bias one on my part, but from the moment that Cole became full heel, Jerry Lawler because the old man of the announcing group.

Back when the whole announce team was face (during the annoying time of "RAW Guest Hosts") Jerry was more tolerable. He was a face yes, but he allowed the fact that he was once a heel come through from time to time. He'd understand if a bad guy cheated, and even was okay with it. That changed when Cole became a heel. Jerry went to become the biggest hypocrite on RAW, as he lashed out at all the heels, going on about how you shouldn't win matches that way… and yeah, this is the same Lawler who terrorized the Hart family and made "brass knuckles in the tights" famous. I know WWE loves to forget shit that happened 3 months ago… but come on.

Annoying thing is, Lawler is very much the face counterpart to Cole. In that he craps on all the heels, without there ever really being a reason for him to do so. This hypocrisy has lead me to hate Lawler, and wish for his eventual retirement… in the next 20 years with my luck. ~_~;;;

1. Cole is the Product

Lets go over what I said. Announcers are supposed to bring focus to the in ring product, and stand in the background. Not so for Cole. Cole has no problem shitting on the in ring product, if it means he gets a few laughs and gets over.

Take the example of one Daniel Bryan, the 2011 Smackdown Money in the Back winner. The guy has announced that he will use his MitB contract to wrestle in the Main Event (opener) of Wrestlemania. So in effect, he has 8 months to become a main event guy and that he has a chance of winning the title at Wrestlemania. It doesn't help that WWE has decided this is a great time to have Daniel Bryan go on a losing streak, but they also decide it would be hilarious to have Cole talk about Bryan like he's an absolute idiot. For christ's sake, he's heckling him during his promos! He's riffing him!

Granted, he has gone out of his way to get some guys over like R Truth and Miz… but I ain't a fan of the fact that the guy enjoys making himself the center of attention. worse yet, his method of doing this is yelling. Lots and lots of yelling. Thats another thing, he has a habit of yelling over the other announcers and drowns them out. Not only that, he makes listening to the commentary (which used to be something I really enjoyed) into a headache.

The really sad part about all this? Slowly but surely, other announcers are doing everything Cole does now. They bicker with Cole, they make fun of the talent, as I said they are making themselves into on air characters and getting ring time, and are all becoming very annoying… and this bad for the future.

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TWF FLASHBACK

November 2006

SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!

by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).