So now I go and watch this here
episode for recapping and reviewing for you.
VIDEO PROMO showing Samoa Joe's
TNA-style joining of the Main Event Mafior.
Speaking of which, I order you to read this by
WrestleZone contributer Mark Madden:
"TNA reached new levels of
absurdity when Samoa Joe joined the Main Event Mafia
out of the clear blue sky. No rhyme or reason, let
alone foreshadowing. His character did a 180 without
a moment’s notice.
SURPRISE! We really fooled you!
How can Joe and the MEM put
aside animosity that’s been generated for months?
How can Joe join the MEM so seamlessly after pulling
a knife on Scott Steiner? After all that’s happened
between him and Kurt Angle?
When did Joe’s character show
any signs of devolving into somebody that could be
bought, as Angle said during his interview on
Impact? When did Joe’s character become someone that
would just hand over the world title?
Steiner, Nash and Booker T
allegedly allowed themselves to be taken out by Joe
because that would convince Joe to join the MEM. Why
would that impress Joe or convince him to join?
Wouldn't being punching bags for Joe do the
opposite? Who wants to join a gang composed of
jobbers?
SURPRISE! We really fooled you!
Then, of course, the MEM turned
on Sting. How many times has Sting been turned on
during his career? He has to lead the league.
It was TNA’s attempt to recreate
Ole Anderson throwing Sting out of the Four Horsemen
at the same time as “associate member” Matt Morgan
stepped up to replace Sting like Lex Luger replaced
Ole back when. Angle should have berated Sting for
going to his snot-nosed kid’s football games when he
should have been taking care of MEM business.
I can see recreating great
angles. But don’t combine them. Let each angle
breathe a little bit.
Sting was made to look foolish,
and not even for the first time this week. He put up
his spot in the MEM when he wrestled Matt Morgan at
Slammiversary. What did Morgan put up? Nothing. What
kind of a bet is that? I’m going to Las Vegas this
week. I hope Sting runs the sports book at the
Flamingo."
Okay, so show starts now with the
MEM's dinky-ass little Diddly-doo DEEDLEEE DEEDLEEE
DEEDLEEE DEEDLEEE DEEDLEEE DEEDLEEE music, and the
entire MEM comes in, lead by Kurt Attell.
Another question of TNA's logic: If
all it took to become Godfather (HOOOOOOO train!) of
the Main Event Mafia was to just say you were, and
get all the guys to beat up the other guy, then why
in the fuck didn't Sting just do that to Kurtle when
all the other guys were behind Sting? Maybe
because he's the only Face in the faction or
something. That leads to the slipper-slope
thing where that would mean ANY of the fucks would
just killshit the leader and take their place, so
long as they have the support of the other members.
And there you have an analogy in TNA with Ancient
Rome, circa the Imperial era around the 2-4th
centuries AD, where any random asshole who had the
soldiers' love behind him could killshit the current
emperor and become emperor himself, only to have the
exact same thing happen to him years later.
Oh yeah, Mick Foley came out, and
Kurtle starts talking shit on Mick Foley,
questioning him OH GOD I can't handle this, this
shit is just too fucking "I never watched wrestling
before in my entire life"-style obvious and generic.
Typical "We're the best ever, you crossed the line
(hehe, TNA), Bluh-dee-bluh vs Blah-dee-bluh, the
boss says".
Mick Foley finally cuts to it and juts says "Leave
me alone and let me wrestle you at Wictory Road" OH
GOD YES! MICK FOLEY, STOP DEFYING TNA-STYLE
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Foley then tries to get
his morbidly obese security guards to kill Angle or
something. Kurtle says "Scotty, beam us up"
and Scott beats the shit out of the security guards
with his metal pipe beam.
I hope there's not something wrong with this video.
The frame rate of this video I've got is 25 Frames
Per Second. For technical people, that's
the same frame rate as movies and most TV dramas,
whereas 30 FPS is how almost all wrestling shows, TV
news, and sketch shows are in.
I missed some stuff, but Mick Foley gets kicked to
shit by the MEM, until Jarrett comes out to ZOMFG
SWERVE~! save Mick Foley. Joe is mysteriously
bleeding on the side of his head. Jee whiz,
did he even do anything in the ring? Main
Event Mafia engages "retreat mode", according to
Mmike Tenay, and ZOMFG SWERVE~! Jeff Jarrett smashes
his guitar on Mick Foley's head. Then Jarrett
just safely walks up the ramp and the MEM don't
touch him. Queers.
Random Thoughts: Fuck Groucho!
Back, and Mick Foley doesn't want
help.
Now, "It's Mike Tenay, it's Don West at ringside,"
direct quote by Mike Tenay. Good God, I
fucking hate him.
Jay Bee is backstage with Jarrey in the lockerroom,
where Mick Foley is being dragged away by security
while screaming. And that's it. The
fuck? That was like a few seconds of nothing
bullshit. And Jay Bee didn't say shit.
Now, an interview with Kebin Nash by Mike Tenay, and
HE SAYS WWF! Kebong says Bitchoff offered him
1.5 million dollars for half the work schedule of
the WWF, and how his business ethic changed from
wrestling to money. This would be tragic if
only he could wrestle to begin with. For some
odd reason, he says AJ doesn't want to be Legends
champion. Why? It wasn't explained.
He may not have even said it; I may have just heard
it in my head.
Video package for Slammiversary.
Random Thoughts:
Boy this video package is fucking long, and just
repeating the same generic instrumental bland rock
thing over and over again.
Back, and Chris Abyss is looking for
Stevie. His search method involves lumbering
around squealing "STEEVIEEE!" and throwing shit
around. Then he picks Lauren up and puts her
against a desk backstage, in a position great for
face-to-face rape. But no, he loves her, and
cares about her, but FAKE-ASS, POORLY WRITTEN
WRESTLING STORYLINES ARE MORE IMPORTANT! I
mean, he says he's sick, as in mentally sick.
He tells her to stop telling him to stop being a
woman, and he won't tell her to stop being a
monster. I think that's how it went.
Oh hey, it's CORY BEANER!
Cody "Teh" Deaner vs Amazing Red
Both commentators keep calling him
'The Deaner'. TEH DEANER runs around, but
Amazing Red dodges, ducks, dips, dives, and dodges
around him. Arm wrench... arm wrenching...
wrenching... reversed by TEH DEANER into another arm
wrench, then Red flippy-doos, and arm drags TEH
DEANER a few times. Now Red does a head
scissors thing after some running around, and TEH
DEANER leaves the ring, but Red gets a spinning
flippy side press twist over the top onto TEH
DEANER.
Rolled into the ring, the Deaner
unfortunately does not stay down for the full three
count necessitating an end to the match. Then
Red just kicks the fuckshit from his legs and guts,
and goes for some kind of thing, but TEH DEANER gets
a generic hard clothesline that flips Red over.
Pin on Red fails. Failed to achieve a three
slaps of the referee's hand on the mat.
On the turnbuckle now with TEH DEANER fakepunching
Red. I swear Tenay just said "Cody Beaner".
Racist. TEH DEANER goes with a scoop slam,
then a Five Knuckle Shuffle on him, pin and two.
Red does a weak-ass dorpkick on him after whipping
him to the turnbuckle. It was like he just
tapped his feet on his chest one at a time. He
goes to the torp, but TEH DEANUR knorcks him down.
Then HEEEEE goes for the top tornbuckle, with his
hat. HAHA, he's got ducttape on his body
instead of the white tape that wrestlers put on
their wrists and such. Red rolls away and TEH
DEANER fails with his Benoit Alzheimer's, and Red
does some kind of Ternader DDT fer the win.
WINNAR: Amazoring Red.
Video package for Booker T.
Sucka. He can see something. And he will
become. Nothing is specified there.
Backstage with Chris Abyss shoving
stuff around and screaming "STEVIEE!" Some
security guys randomly appear who look absolutely
nothing at all like developmental wrestlers with
baseball bats threatening to kill him. Oh
wait, I lied with that last statement, but not about
the baseball bats and security shirts.
Video package for Mick Foley.
Exact same format as Booker T's. He will
become. Something. It's not stated.
Backstage AGAIN with Jarry, and
Kurtle is here to cause problems, even though he
says there's not gonna be any problems. OOH
Controversy---Kurtle tells Joey to hold his title,a
nd Joe holds it like it's his. I forsee future
turmoil. But hey, that's far greater evidence
than whatever happened before he turned to the mEM.
Bah-zing. Kurtle offers to rule this business
with his stroke and Jarrett actually ruling the
business for real.
Jarrett is not amused. Because
he's smart enough to realize that HE owns the
company, and Kurtle is an employee. Oh wait,
he says something kayfabey. That's good, too.
Jarrett then says Kurt is gonna wrestle with Samoa
Joe as his partner in a TAG MATCH. And ZOMFG
his title will be on the line! His opponents
gonna be AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett. He
guarantees that his side will not win by saying that
whoever pins Kurtle will be champion, whereas
whoever wins on Kurt's side will guarantee Kurt's
retention. Booker T makes his best
gorilla-sounding noises before Jarrett tells him to
get out of here. Racism, man.
Lauren now backstage with someone.
Who the hell is this? She's got a clown dress,
and says she's gonna wrestle Sharmell. She
says "it's all a show". STOP SHOOTING, BITCH!
Oh, it's Jenna Survivor, Kevin's white girl.
Some random black woman appears to talk ugly at her
and say Sharmell will be ready for her. I need
to watch TNA iMPACT more, I'm missing a whole lot of
shit.
Random Thoughts: 1x4x9
Back again with MORE BACKSTAGE
BULLSHIT! With the MEMers AGAIN!
Credible midcard with focused storylines? Who
wants that? Copypasta virtually any "We're the
best thing ever" promo not by Ric Flair or Mick
Foley or anyone good and you have Kurt's promo here.
Booker T gorilla hoots at Sharmell afterwards for
some reason. He finally says the first
coherent words of the night at Jay Bee: "Mind your
own business".
Showdime Eric Jung vs Gor-Gor (Fifty
bucks to whoever gets that reference)
Rhino just runs into the ring to
dominate Eric Young a bit, what with the punches and
clotheslines and shoulderblocks and such. Eric
Young gets pinned, but survives. Young takes
control at some point, and goes for a pin after some
lame-ass offense. Holy shit, Jesse Neal got a
horrible haircut that looks like his army bodies
fucked with his hair after he got drunk and passed
out at a party.
Young snapmares, then chinlocks.
SHADES OF RANDY ORTON! Rhino gets up and
punches him a bit, only to get slammed down by his
hair. In SvR09, this is called "Catfight Slam"
or something. Rhino gets put on the second
rope while Young chokes with his leg, and does his
Child-Smoker voice at Jesse, then slaps his dumb
head and attacks him. Young Eric comes in to
continue the beat down on the war machine Rhino,
with some punches and such. Weak-ass, fake-ass
punches, I mean. Not that I'm complaining,
just that it doesn't look credible on a guy as fat
as him, when he's gotten pretty much just slammed
once, snapmared, and punched the whole match.
He's supposed to be like a fucking Rhino!
Jesse Neal be's a retarded drunken
fuck by distracting the referee to bitch and whine,
while Rhino basically wins the match. But
Young attacks Rhino while he yells at Jewsse, and
Young wins.
WINNAR: Eric Jung
Sharmell is with Lauren in the back.
BLUEPRINT OF FAILURE is on the phone complaining
about a 24-hour gym that closes at 9pm. She
tells him that Kurt wants to see him. He asks
what, and she channels shades of Captain Spaulding,
(The Devil's Rejects) by asking "Do I stutter?" only
she misses the ", bitch?" part at the end. He
squeals and hugs her because he wants to be a MEMer
instead of a failure.
Commercials, then back. Booker
T putting on a fake-ass gangsta negro accent.
Matt Morgan loves acronyms, and calls Kurtle "GF",
because of Godfather. Kurtle says no entry
into MEM, until eh does a few more things.
Serving Sting on a silver platter, not yet dead, not
fully eaten, was not good enough. He needs him
to cheat in the tag match against Smaoa th And AJ
Styles Jarrett but not Joe because Joe.
Oh, he needs Morgan to kill DANIELS DANIELS, because
he suspects DANIELS DANIELS will cheat. That
is smrt. Booker T does some
Negroid-Italian-sounding voice all like "Mbrhduh he
dink hee eeiz boss?"
Video package for some female
wrestler from AAA named "Sarita".
I've discovered that apparently every wrestlers'
videos are all just random text on screen repeating
over and over. Failsauce.
The Beautiful People (dundundunDUUUNuh) vs Awesome
Kong and Tara
Velvet Sky is very attractive.
The other two, I do not find as such. So, in
honor of Raisha Saeed... how about that Iran, huh?
Could it be any more obvious that Ahmadinejad just
fucking stole the shit out of that election? I
think sometimes to myself he honestly can NOT be
fucking stupid when he says things like "Iran is the
safest country in the world", and yet what is he
trying to lie/hide by saying shit like that?
Maybe make other people think he's insane or stupid?
That would certainly work. Speaking of which,
it was revealed recently that the late Saddam
Hussein lied about having WMD's, and later kept up
the illusion of having them (thus causing the Iraq
War, supposedly) because he feared IRAN. Hey,
I'd fear Iran, too.
Watch now, as Velvet Sky squeals at
Earl Hebner after being taken off of Tara for
punching too much. Tara does an upside-down
MsChief style stretchy resthold, and some flippy-doo
slams and such. Don West seemingly insinuates
that there is a fine line betwewen "Texting" and
"Sexting". I agree---one is one letter away
from being the other. Oh, me jokekiller, yay!
Awesome Kong comes in and throws
Velvet Sky across the ring. Aw snap, nigra!
Now Angelina love is in, and she can't do shit to
Kong, while Kong just smacks and chops the bitch.
SNAPSAZ! She chokes Love, and throws her into
a turnbuckle, and does some fast fist-slams and
punches. Tara in now, and she does an arm
wrench, and a failed irish whip that gets her kicked
in the back by Velvet Sky. Now Velvet Sky
comes in to help kick Tara with Love while Kong
stupidly keeps the referee looking away.
Don West says if they weren't wrestlers, the
Beautiful People would be at Harvard Medical school,
because Dr. House went there, and Dr. Becker.
Oh yeah, Sky tried to pin Tara but failed.
Then she tosses Tara across the ring, and tags in
Love. Love punches and they do a double-dorp
spot where they both die. Now they try to
hot-tag, but now they just fucking ignore the rules,
and Velvet Sky and Awesome Kong walk in and the
referee doesn't do shit. Kong basically
killshits Velvet, and would have Rikishi'd her face
with her ass, but Love distracted her.
Earl Hebner is just standing around watching as all
four women get in the ring and fight, but now
Angelina and Tara are outside while Kong busts Sky's
implants.
WINNAR: Awesome Kung and Tarantula
Tara tore someone's hair out.
Probably her own. Now she has a little black
box with a tarantula in it, and puts it onto Velvet
Sky. I'd love to have a tarantula, but I'm
afraid of it dying. Yeah, seriously.
Dead insects gross me out, more so if they're
arachnids and furry.
Random Thoughts: Taking the Lord's
name in vain is apparently a bad thing. But
that's okay, because "Jesus Christ" is not the son
of God's name---it's a Latin/Greek bastard-bitch
abortion of language. His true name was the
oldy-style version of "Joshua, son of Joseph".
Fake commercials come back. We are halfway
through the broadcast and had two matches thus far.
Backstage with Angelina Love complkaining about
Tarantula venom and 30,000 eyes looking at her.
Lauren plays that bitch by pretending she has a
tarantula on her shoulder.
Video package for the Dudley 3D's.
They will become. Something.
Beer Money come out, but not dressed for wrestling.
I often wonder if the beer drinken by Stone Cold,
James Storm, and Sandman were real in the ring, and
if they legitimately got buzzed or even drunk
before/during/after matches. Would that even
be legal, them drinking in public in front of
thousands/hundreds of people?
Team 3D vs Scott Steiner and Booker T
Match starts with all four of them
angry-staring at each other. Beer Money on
commentary putting over Harlem Heat and the Steiner
Brothers. Tie up with Buh Buh Ray and Steiner,
and Steiner slams him on turnbuckle. Kicks to
the gut. Chorps. Whip, reversed by
Brother Ray Deadly, and he starts punchinhg at
Steiner. Pulls him up, irish whips him, but
Steiner reverses into a T-bone suplex of some sort.
He goes for a clothesline but Brother Ray Deadly
does a scoop slam, but then misses an elbow dorp, so
Steiner knocks him down but misses his own elbow
dorp. Side slam by Buh Buh on Stein, but
Steiner kicks out, and now Devon is in.
Punches on Steiner. Tenay is
angry that Don West is like a parrot, agreeing with
everything Beer Money is saying but I haven't been
reporting. Shut up, you.
Booker T gets in, and now it's black on black
violence. Punches up on the turnbuckle, and
Book erT kicks on him a bit. Dorps him in the
corner with a kick. Kicks him in the face now.
Steiner gets tagged in, and now he's kicking at
Devon while Booker holds onto him with his legs.
Steiner whips Devon then gets a belly to belly
suplex on him. Referee counted like four or
something, but Devon kicked out. Booker T in
and he kicks Devon.
Failed irish whip leads to Devon
clotheslining Booker T, then gets up to tag in
Brother Ray Deadly who is all hot-taggy and beats up
on Booker T. SPEAKING of arbitrary tangents!
The "Hot Tag" feature of SvR09 is a clusterupfuckery
that pretty much ends a match. It allows a
superstar to get an instant special, punch the guy
on the apron hard enough as a special, and then do a
special on the other superstar for the win.
End game.
Oh yeah, Buh Buh got a bomb on Bookger T, then Sheik
Abdul Jabbar and Yoshimitsu randomly appeared to
beat the shit out of Beer Money at ringside.
The Dudley Boyees got a Team 3D on Booker, but
Sharmell distracted referee too long. Steiner
gets scoop slammed, and Devon does his wazzup thing.
Wow, they still do that? Not even the move,
but the other thing, too. Now they motion to
get some tables, to disqualify themselves from the
title match with Beer Money.
UH OHS! TEH DOUG and Robert Terry come to
attack Devon and the Referee, and British Mangus
kills Buh Buh with the briefcase and allows Booker
to crawl over him and win.
WINNAR: The team with one white guy
and one black guy
BACKSTAGE now with Lauren and AJ
Sty--- on second thought, no. Commercials.
Haha.
Back from commercials with Jethro
Tull in the ring for some reason. He will not
be facing Black Macho Man Jay Savage, because he's
being beaten up backstage by Chris Abyss.
Lethal Consequences attacks Chris Abyss, but he gets
smacked with a metal gate door, and Chris Abyss
screams "STEEVIEEEE!" and it reminds me of that
imaginary friend Ivan from that episode of "Foster's
Home for Imaginary Friends" who lost his friend and
would look for him by running around screaming
"NOOOO STEEEVIEEEEEE!! STEEEVIEEEEE!"
Chris Abyss randomly appears in the
ring and Black Hole Slames Jethru Holiday. Be
thankful smarks; here's an ex-WWE guy NOT being
pushed to the moon. Chris Abyss gets a
microphone, and does what I said above, only adds a
cliche' of "come out cvome out wherever you are"
Then he pulls the camera in and says he doesn't need
Stevie anymore. No more therapy. This
completely contradicts his whole "I'M A MONSTER"
speech with Lauren earlier today. Remember
when Chris Abyss wore Mankind-brown and didn't
speak?
UH OH! BAckstage night vision video with Dr
Stevie ripping off Raven, and having kidnapped
Lauren. This is all so generic. Stevie:
"I'm not a monster! I just committed a federal
offense of kidnapping, and threatening to commit
heinous acts on her! I also don't have medical
malpractice insurance, so I kick the shit out of you
so you won't sue me". Chris Abyss:
"BLAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH~!"
Stevie owns Chris Abyss, and orders
him into therapy session next week. He's gonna
keep Lauren in the meantime, presumably to be
gangraped by the whole gang of Raven and Daffney and
such. They should call themselves the New Age
Trench Coat Mafia. Or something Russo-fied,
like "My Crazy Sex Pie" or "Head Jobs".
Video package for Samoan Yusuf, who
will also become.
For some reason, another 2 minutes or so is wasted
on a pointless music video promoting Wictory Road.
Then Jeff Jarrett comes out with another guitar.
Mike Tenay calls Samoa Joe a traitor despite the TNA
Frontline being dead for months.
Jeff Jarrett and AJ Smiles vs Samoan
Yusuf and Kurt Angel
They get a whole Jay Bee
professional "We're not a joke, wink wink" in-ring
introduction for everyone, along with the
"Guaranteed Kurt Angle Victory" stipulations
explanation. AJ Styles weighed in "this
morning" at 215 pounds. What about now?
What if he's 220 now? What if he's "400"
pounds, like Hardcore Holly? Jeff Jarrett
didn't "weigh in this morning"---he's introduced AS
230 pounds. Right then and there announcement.
Enough timewasting. Match.
It starts with Jeff Jarrett and Kurt Angle, tying up
and headlock by Jarrett. Generic
shoulderblocks and attempted monkey flips, failed,
armwrench, attempted finishers by Jarrett, then
Angle, both fail. Silly bastards! The
match just started! For some reason, this
boring intro exchange gets people chanting TNA.
Angle rocks Jarrett with a european uppercut.
Jeff Jarrett goes for something, then clothesline
Angle as he's charging at him. Then all of a
sudden the lights go out, someone's music plays, and
ZOMFG IT'S HERNANDEZ CASHING IN HIS TNA WORLD
HEAVYWEIGHT MONEY IN THE BANK SUITCASE! He
pins Angle and loses. Haha.
Back to the real match, AJ and Joe got tagged in and
they fight. Joe did a "fatboy" legsweep, where
he basically throws himself to the floor and kicks
at AJ's legs. Joe punching him and stuff.
Joe gets dorpkicked by Styles, then Angle just
randomly comes in without tagging. I don't
think the referees even care anymore. Now
Jarrett is in for no reason. They double team
Joe while Angle gets thrown out.
BACK FROM COMMERCIALS and all of a
sudden Angle and Joe are doubleteaming AJ. If
I saw some commercials, that would not be
disorienting at all. It ended apparently as
Joe caught AJ from an attempted turnbuckle rush in a
Rock Bottom, and Angle got a belly to belly suplay
on AJ. Now Angle punching on AJ. AJ
punchies him. Angle down.
Joe smashes Jarrett off the apron so that Angle can
tag in, while AJ is all weak n shit. Joe
starts obesing it up with Nash-style offense.
Irish whip and Styles gets a weak-ass elbow on him,
then does his moonsault-into-inverted DDT, but Angle
runs in, and Angle gets caught and both are DDT'd by
AJ Style.
Jarrett climbs up the ropes, but AJ
gets caught in a Cock-in-a-clutch, but he escapes,
then a ZOMFG PELE~!!!11 on Joe. Jarrett tagged
in, while Angle looks all dorky and gets dominated.
ZOMFG PEDIGREE on Angle by Jarrett. Triple H
of TNA? Joe kicks Jarrett off. Jarrett
reverses Angle Slam, but Joe kicks him out of a pin.
Jarrett puts Angle on the top turnbuckle, only for
Joe to wander in and grab him into a musclebuster,
but Jarrett escapes, and AJ does a flying forearm
that catches Joe and referee Slippery Penis.
Jarrett back up and does a "stroke"
on Angle from the top rope. It was a weak-ass
sort of bulldog thing. Audience counts to ten
despite Jarrett only getting a 9 count on Angle in a
pin. He brings his guitar in stupidly, while
referee Slippery Penis grabs it and they fight, only
for Angle to grab and get a Shamrock Ankle Lock
(according to WWF Wrestlemania 2000) on him.
Joe is wandering around outside of the ring for some
reason, and it's now seen as he pulls Styles off the
apron before Jarrett can tag him. Now a figure
four-style ankle lock on Jarrett. Jarrett
can't bear to tap out, so he pretends to pass out
and Slippery Penis does the three-arm-dorp on the
mat and declares Angel the winnar.
WINNAR: Kirk Angel and Joseph of
Samoa
The rest of the MEMmers come in to celebrate
something. AJ comes in with his title belt to
attack thema ll. They all just leave while he
hits no one. Don West be's awesome, then Samoa
Joe rushes in and takes down Styles. Now the
Mafior comes back in to killshit the both of them.
Belly to belly from Steiner on Styles. Random
backstage shot of Marr Moorgan killshitting DANIELS
DANIELS. Kebong Nash apparently has no
finisher, as he just tries to use the Legends belt
to killshit AJ. People chant "We Want Sting",
and so they get Sting. He comes in in purple
with a bat. Literally no one does anything.
Kurt doesn't even notice as his back is to him, and
no one says or does anything. Sting proceeds
to kill them with his bat.
Don West says "Kurt's smart enough to get out of
that ring", whilst everyone but the two beat-up guys
left. So what the hell? Show over.
Stuff that was Good: I can't really think of
anything. I'm a pessimist and a misanthrope.
So, fuck you.
Stuff that was
Bad: I do not give a shit about Chris Abyss
and Doctor Stevie. This whole thing screams
"We've done this before several times, and we did
not even wait a few years before recycling it".
Actually, I think this is also the exact same shit
done with Chris Abyss and James Mitchell and Judas
Priest Messias, only with a blonde girl thrown in to
make it seem newer. Also, the MEM pretty much
dominate all the story-parts of the show.
Stuff that was
Creatively Questionable: TEH DEANER. We
need some more and better knockouts. I swear
it seems now as though the only knockouts they have
are Awesome Kong, the Horrible People, Taylor Wilde,
and Tara.
Jibbering and
jibbery-joo: James Swift CONTINUES TO IGNORE
ME. Anthony Dean is a liar and a traitor and
steals jokes. Neil Cathan wishes he was me.
Catherine Perez was apparently scared away by my
dominating female epicness. Shane Steele
committed career suicide because he wants me hard.
I'm awesome in all ways. Etcetera.
Anyone want any shoutouts? Too
bad. Get a job.
You've just been Halonic Death
Ray'd, and like I say every week, if I'm not back
within two or three weeks, consider me dead.