If I could be serious for a minute; You see, last summer, I made an oath. An oath that upon Triple H's big return to the WWE from injury, that if he or WWE for that matter, could, for at least ONE YEAR, avoid putting him in Wrestlemania's main event, I would forever stop making jokes at his expense, because I, and people of my ilk, would have been finally forced to eat a giant-assed plate of crow because the company wouldn't feel compelled to give Trips his 6th straight Main Event slot at a Wrestlemania, and for at least one year, allow two completely non-HHH people a shot at the WWE Title and to close the show. And well, soon therafter, as the hand-writing on the wall all pointed to the complete opposite of that happening, again, I felt justified to turn up the tedious overuse of "burials" and familiar HHH gags that I admittedly hammered and continue to (sledge) hammer into the ground. But I am a fair man. So, I will make another oath. Again.
I, Sean Carless, as previously stated last Summer, do here by guarantee in the event that Triple H does not main event Wrestlemania 24... in any capacity, that I will never again ever say another disparaging word about The Game, and solemnly promise to only say the most positive and complimentary things about said H's from this point forward and forever, to perhaps a nauseating and sickening ass-kissing degree, no matter what the circumstance. Be it a defeat of a wrestler I deem to have value, a push that I do not approve of, or even the murdering of his family after being demoted from the prestigious Four Horsemen, I will give a smile, shoot my best Foley thumbs up, and die a little inside, but I shalt not falter. Because, you see, I make this vow, because I am an idiot, and a post in our forum today has compelled my best friend to bet me 100 (Canadian) dollars that I cannot keep my promise of no HHH negativity, and that I will slip up. Bravado and a love of a suddenly improved currency has compelled me to take up this brazen challenge. 
I am so confident however that I will not slip up, that like our friend Ric Flair, I will put my own non-existent career as a Satire Writer on the line. That's right, one slip up (discounting the reposting of columns/rants/satires where I had already made said jokes) and I will RETIRE FOREVER from online wrestling umm, journalism, to which I am widely considered to be the very best and most reputable, if in fact everyone better and more reputable on earth dies. It's true. So, one new HHH joke, and you'll never see me EXUBERANTLY AND NONSENSICALLY TYPING IN HUGE BOLD LETTERS AS IF I'M ENTHUSIASTICALLY YELLING AGAIN.
However, if in the event that all three H's does in fact end up in Wrestlemania's Main Event (which we'll find out next Sunday), be it one on one, a triple threat, or whatever, I will continue to carry on with my tedious overuse of tired analogies, pictures of broken mid-carders in dirt holes, and other never ending cycles of repetition of this sort until NEXT Wrestlemania, wherein the cycle will start again. After all, if WWE can use the same never-ending shtick and booking of exact same people on top, no matter how many rainbow haired, invisible bee-swatting dudes who wear 12 year old girl's pretty pink belts to hold up their 1990's cargo pants might be more over and more suited to the role, I can follow suit and tell the same jokes. That's right.
But hey, I want to see if you think if I can live up to my promise, or if I'll cave, or if WWE will just stubbornly put Triple H into the main event at Wrestlemania again thus negating everything written here. But a bet is a bet, and a promise is a promise. We have 6 days to find out what's going down. If in fact, HHH LOSES the Chamber next Sunday, I will have to watch my fucking ass, all while kissing his-uh. The shit is on now. Let's see what happens.
Vote below! (Results to be posted next Monday).
What is the end result going to be of Sean's bet?
Sean is a man of his word. He will keep his promise.
Sean will lose this bet and be forced into retirement after not being able to resist making a Triple H crack. LOLZBURIALZ.
WWE will put Triple H into Wrestlemania's Main Event anyway, thus completely negating this vow.
Sean won't even last one fucking column. He's addicted to making fun of HHH like CM Punk is addicted to COMPETITION.
I like Ham.
Sean is a liar and will come out retirement anyway, pretending, that like sleeping with a fat girl, that it never EVER happened. But we'll know. WE'LL ALL KNOW.

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