Home | Columns & Rants | Satire | Entertainment | Media | Archives | Forum


By Jordan Huie

The theme of this recap is Vicarious by Tool.

Aaaand this is the latest I've ever went before starting on the recap. First, I overslept and didn't wake up until 6:00 PM, so there went the usual act of getting the show hours beforehand. And then, when I did wake up, we were in the middle of another one of those god damned random thunderstorms that have suddenly popped up and went away again over the last few weeks. So of course the connection was buggy, making getting the show that much more of a hassle. The time is 10:35 PM. Typically, I start about eight hours earlier than that. At first this pissed me off, but then I remembered the show won't be posted until around Monday anyway, so really, what's a few hours differance?

Still standing here in Cleveland, Ohio, where we are anticipating the return of THEEE UNDATAKAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! And speaking of the world's greatest catchphrase, out comes Teddy Long! Boy, for a guy that's been on probation since the fall of Nazi Germany, just recently had his office torn apart, and has had both his authority and manhood called into question numerous times over the past year, he sure does look pleased. So much so, that as he's in the ring, he begins shucking and jiving. Hey, call it how I see it. He announces that the Fatal Four Way event is coming up...IN FOUR WEEKS! Marketing~! He says that Swagger will be defending his title in a four way, and that by vertur [sic] of his DQ win at Over The Limit, Show immediately qaulifies. I believe he meant to say virtue, but I suppose his kind don't know that word very well. And when I say "his kind", I of course mean General Managers. Surely you didn't think I was talking about his race..what, just because I'm southern, means I have to burn crosses in people's yards, is that it?! Well let me say right now that I am no Klansman, buddy! If I did say that, Great Scott would be suing me for Gimmick Infringement before you could say "shark repellant"! ...what was I saying? Oh yes, the Fatal Four Way. T-Lo says that tonight, their will be two qaulifying matches to see who else is in the match. Those matches being CM Punk vs. Kane, and Rey Mysterio vs. THEEE UNDATAKAAAAAH, in his first match since WM. For some odd reason, I don't like Rey's chances..Long starts to say there has "never been" something, but before this peice of - what is sure to be - revisionist shit can plauge us, a badass theme hits, freezing Long in place. After finishing climaxing from the sheer sound of it alone, I see Drew McIntyre in the ring.

McIntyre gets a mic, and tells Teddy that he should still be Intercontinental Champion. McIntyre says that his match with Kofi should've been stopped. Apparantly, his arm was bleeding that night and no one helped. But I recapped that event, and I didn't- o, i c wut u did thar.. McIntyre says he was in great pain, but Teddy allowed the match to continue. So he says if Teddy can't do his job right, he'll have to do it for you. Teddy warns him that affirmative action is damned tough to fight against. Actually, he says that that Drew didn't have the right to trash his office, nor does it give him the right to come out and interupt him. Teddy asks him who he is, and Drew says he's the Chosen One. Okay, you know what, that's the last straw..HIT IT!Teddy says he understands he's the Chosen One. Some kid in the crowd says "No, he's not". Um, dumbass, his angle is that he's been picked by the boss to be the next face of the company..that's what a fucking Chosen One is. Teddy says "Once Matt Hardy gets his hands on you", but before he could begin describing the events of his adult fanfic, Drew pulls out a note....OF DESPAIR! McIntyre says that McMahon's demanded he read this out loud, before giving it to Teddy. Teddy reads: As a result of Matt Hardy posting a picture of his "Gunt" on the internet - of which Vince McMahon just now saw - he has been suspended until further notice. Or something like that, I wasn't really paying attention.

Drew tells Teddy to consider this a warning - if he turns a blind eye to his misfortunes one more time, the next letter he gives him will be filled with Anthrax. Or will just have a pink slip inside, whichever works faster. Long, as always, leaves with his tail between his legs, only for Matt Hardy to come down the ramp. Teddy stops Matt, and gets Security to restrain him. Matt glares at Drew, until Teddy tells him that if he doesn't leave, they'll make him fire him. So Matt cooperates, backing up the ramp. And McIntyre gets on the mic to tell him he's the reason he's suspended. Crowd really gets on his case at the end of this segment. COMMERCIALS!

Commercial thoughts - I have found myself inspired by Swaggie's Did You Know? facts about himself, so much so that I've decided to place some of them about myself in the commercial thoughts this week. To get us started; Did You Know that my debut TWF recap was only the fifth one I've ever written? It's true, and to me, that says one of two things. Either 1), I'm a fucking prodigy, or 2), the bar isn't as high as it used to be. Maybe somewhere in between, I dunno, you decide..

We return to see our first match of the night. While walking to the ring, Swagger announces himself as still World Heavyweight Champion about nine times.

Drew McIntyre and Jack Swagger (w/"Hit me here" bandages around his waist) vs. Kofi Kingston and the Big Show

Kingston and Swagger start us off. Lock-up, Swagger with a Front Facelock, transitioning them to the ground, before putting him into a Gutwrench. Kingston gets to his feet, Swaggie tries for a Back Suplex, but Kingston slips out the back and gets in a roundhouse kick to the ribs, only to be taken back down. Swagger tags in McIntyre. Kofi ducks a clothesline, gets in a few kicks, but Drew takes him to the mat by the hair. Drew pulls Kofi to his feet, goes for an Irish Whip, but Kingston counters with a Monkey Flip, for a 1 count. They trade blows, McIntyre whips Kingston to the ropes, Kofi ducks a clothesline, and nails a Flying Forearm! Meanwhile, Striker tells us something about people thinking Tom Petty is the third Multibrother, or whatever he said. Lost me about three words into that particular joke. McIntyre starts raging in the heel corner, as Kofi tags in Show. Avalanche follows. Typewriter headbutt to McIntyre, Swagger runs in only to be caught with a shot to the injured back, that takes him to the outside. Kofi then comes in a clotheslines McIntyre to the floor, and yep, you guessed it - this segues into COMMERCIALS!

Commercial thoughts - Did you know that in the fifth grade, before I stopped going to public schools, I had at one point hurled a brick at some kids that were taunting me? Ah, I was such a precoucious little scamp..

When we come back, Show hurls McIntyre into the ring from the apron. Big corner chop on McIntyre. Show grinds McIntyre throat-first into the ropes, because having a babyface moveset is a blessing, not a birthright. Kofi tags in, and comes in with a Springboard Frog Splash, for two. Kofi with a Key Lock on McIntyre. McIntyre gets to his feet, and backs Kofi into the corner. Drew whips Kofi to the opposite corner, Kofi with a Floatover, McIntyre turns and runs into an Arm Drag. Kofi tries to whip McIntyre back to the opposite corner, McIntyre reverses, rushes Kofi, Kofi dodges leaving Drew to smash into the corner. Kof with his Jumping Corner Punches, gets to seven until Kofi's ESP tells him that Swagger will be attacking, so he hops to the apron just before Swagger starts running his way, to kick him to the floor. Kofi goes for a Springboard move, only for Swagger to grab him by the ankle, and pull him facefirst onto the apron, and to the floor. McIntyre goes to the floor, and slams Kingston's head against the steps, before tossing him in for a nearfall. Swagger tagged in, with some heelesque double-teaming. As opposed to facesque double teaming, which is made less despicable and unfair by the fact that it's flashier. Kinda telling about our society, isn't it? Swagger with a Side Headlock, Kofi slowly makes it to his feet and fights out. Hits the ropes, only to be taken right the fuck down with a manly Belly-To-Belly! This gets a nearfall. McIntyre tagged in, takes Kofi to the corner. A number of corner clotheslines, capped off with a Short-Arm Veriation.

Mounted Punches from the sheep loving bastard. McIntyre with a Crossface Chickenwing of sorts, Kofi arm drags out, only to be swiftly intercepted. Swagger's tagged in, pounds Kingston into the mat. Swagger with a Bear Hug, Kingston elbows out. Kingston tries to dive over Swagger to make the tag, and when the hell does that ever really work? Didn't work this time either, as Swagger pulls Kingston closer to his corner, only for Kingston to slip out and try for a Sunset Flip! Swagger stops that by pulling him to his feet, however, and hurling him to the corner. Swagger rushes, but Kofi gets a boot up. Kofi springs off the second rope with a Crossbody, as Matthews says "Kofi getting high!". Someone's getting their asses sued..Kofi and Swagger crawl to their corners, McIntyre's in first, grabs Kingston by the leg and yanks him towards the heel corner. McIntyre tries for a clothesline, only for Kofi to roll under it, and finally tag in the Big Show! Seriously, Kofi was isolated for pretty much the entirity of this paragraph and most of the last one..anyway, Show with two Clotheslines for McIntyre, hurls him to the corner, Reverse Avalanche, followed up by a Shoulderblock. Show poses for the Chokeslam, in comes Swagger, who gets knocked out of the ring. McIntyre jumps Show, and goes for the Future Shock, but McIntyre tosses him into the air. Show sets Swagger up - Knockout Shot, and that's it.

Winner: Big Show and Kofi Kingston

Rating: **

Eh..it was okay, could've been better. I feel like the hot tag may have been built to for a little longer than it needed to. COMMERCIALS!

Commercial thoughts - Did you know that I have been a member of ewcf.co.nr, for three years now? Did you know that I have since become an admin of said forum, which features uploaded wrestling shows and PPV's, in addition to all of the stunning original content? Did you know that I'm riding this horse backwards? HYAH!

When we come back, we see Gallows and Serena trying to cheer up Punk, telling him how good he looks. Serena tells Punk that everything will be okay, and he still looks beautiful. Punk says he knows that, but he's going to go out there and they'll mock him. They promise they would never mock him. Punk says he's better then the crowd, so doesn't care if they mock him. Punk says he has courage, unlike them. He says they couldn't embarass him if they tried. He tells us he will be showing us his true face. During this, he has a big towel that hangs way over his head, covering all of it. For some reason, it reminds me of The Invisible Man's bandages.

Cut to see Vickie speaking random Spanish at Curt Hawkins and Vance Archer. Hawkins says 15 days is plenty, and tonight, they're going to make an impact. Vance says they will pay attention. For some reason, this really pisses off Vickie, who yells more Spanish, before telling them to just get out of there. I guess there's just something about peeps that are fighting tooth and nail for their jobs that just agitates her to no end. In comes Dolph Ziggler afterwards. Vickie thanks him for sticking up for her last week at the Peep Show, proving to her that their is still chivalry in the WWE. Dolph says it's no big deal, but Vickie says it meant everything. She tells him that her owing him one, with her position, puts him in an enviable situation. Ziggler considers it, before going on a tangent about how evil it was of Xian and Horny to taunt her last week. Meanwhile, Vickie checks out his ass. No, seriously, she checks out his ass. Vickie tells him as a token of her gratitude, Ziggler will team up with Chavo against Christian and Hornswoggle. Considering going up against Hornswoggle is the fucking kiss of death in this company, I think that's a pretty crappy way of paying someone back. Vickie says that there's more to come, which for some reason renders "OHHHH"s from the filthy-minded crowd. FILTHY, I SAY~!

Out comes Towelhead, with Serena and Gallows. They have to guide him to the ring, and keep him from retreating back up the ramp. Once inside, Punk grasps the towel, and lets the anticipation build. He then unveils..a mask~! Yes, that's right..it was a guy in a mask, all along!COMMERCIALS~!

Commercial thoughts - Did you know that when I was twelve, I was dating an eighteen year old? Did you know that she was cleared of all charges?

When we come back, out comes Kane who helped out his former slave Mysterio at Over The Limit by attacking the SES. Why? Because fuck Punk, that's why.

Winner qaulifies for the Fatal Four Way at..er, Fatal Four Way: CM Punk (w/Serena, Luke Gallows and Mask) vs. Kane (w/o a woman, a bro, or a mask anymore)

Punk unloads on Kane to start, only to be shoved away. Punk beats Kane into the corner, ref forces the break, only for Punk to take a huge uppercut. Kane takes over, throwing him into the corner a couple times, before hitting a Snapmare. Cover gets one. Everybody gets one. Kane with a wristlock. Punk forces him into a corner, tries for a whip to the opposite corner, Kane reverses. Kane rushes Punk, Punk evades him, and nails the Pepsi One! Goes for the bulldog, but Kane shoves him away. Punk hits the ropes, tries to slip between Kane's legs, only for Kane to grab him by the mask. Kane starts trying to pull the mask off. Why? Because fuck Punk, that's why. But Punk escapes from his grasp, to the outside. And we get yet a-fucking-another break of COMMERCIALS!

Commercial thoughts - Did you know that I think WWE Champion is a pretty cool guy? He overcomes the odds, and DOESN'T AFRAID OF ANYTHING!

When we come back, Punk and Kane fight back and forth in the ring. Punk gets power-whipped to the corner, and caught with an elbow off the rebound. Bodyslam from Kane, followed by him going up top. Punk crotches him on the top rope, then knocks him off with a few kicks. Punk goes outside, and works on one of Kane's legs on the floor. Kane struggles to get back in, and when he does, Punk pulls him up to the ringpost, and rams his leg into it, LIKE A BAWSS. Punk continues targeting the injured leg in the ring. Punk with a Spinning Toe Hold. Kane powers out, only to be jumped yet again, and placed into a hold similar to the Single Leg Boston Crab. Kane elbows his way out, and staggers. Kane fights back, and gets a Suplex in, for two. Punk with a Low Dropkick - GUESS WHERE IT HIT?! Punk with a Modified Native American Deathlock. Kane punches out, so Punk targets the leg yet again again. I get that it's good psychology and all, but recapping it gets kind of redundant after a while. Punk hits the ropes, and Kane elevates him into the air, letting him crash down to the mat. Cover, gets two. Clothesline in the corner from Kane, who holds his leg in pain afterwards. This allows Punk to get a shot in, and climb to the second rope, jumping off right into an uppercut! This gets a nearfall. Powerwhip to the corner, Punk recoils into a Sidewalk Slam! Another nearfall. Kane goes up top, Flying Clothesline, but Kane seems to do more damage to his leg on the landing. Nevertheless, Kane goes for a Chokeslam, but Punk gets out of it by - yep, you guessed it - kicking the injured leg. Striker calls Punk Mr. X, which is something I'm sure Blade Braxton will appreciate, and Blade Braxton alone.

Punk hits the ropes, runs at Kane, and gets flung from the ring for his troubles. Kane continues selling the leg, allowing Punk enough time to get up to the apron, and to the top rope. Punk with a Crossbody - but Kane rolls through (No, really) for a two count! Kane goes for the Chokeslam, Punk escapes mid-air, then nails a Spin Kick, before going for the GTS! But Kane grabs the mask again, and starts trying to pull it off. Meanwhile, Striker marks out over the possibility of seeing Punk bald. I like how he speaks his praise one minute, then loves seeing him embarrassed the next. Serena distracts the ref, allowing Gallows to get a shot in on Kane, allowing Punk to escape. Punk with a hard Roundhouse Kick to the head, followed by an amazingly fucked up GTS. And by amazingly fucked up, I mean that if Halo were recapping this, she would most likely create a brand new word for the move - a word in which "fail" is spelt out atleast three times. That's how fucked up. CM Punk pulls a WM 19 HHH, staying on that mat for about thirty seconds, likely considering the heavy weight of failure that just fell onto him, before covering Kane, for the victory.

Winner: CM Punk

Rating: **1/2

Not bad, just kind of there. While I appreciate the psychology of working over the leg, and think Kane sold it pretty well throughout, Punk going right back to the leg every single time Kane broke a hold or started fighting back started to get old. And that finishing botch is not one I shall be forgiving anytime soon. Why? Because fuck Punk, that's why. COMMERCIALS!

Commercial thoughts - Did you know that I have, for a while now, had a ballbusting fetish? No? Well, good. I've told an incredibly few amount of people this, so it would've been kinda weird if you had known that.

When we come back, Xian and Horny make their entrance and I just don't care. Striker puts over the Tadpole Splash as a painful finish. Oy..

Dolph Ziggler and Chavo Guerrero (w/Vickie Guerrero) vs. Christian and Hornswoggle

The bell rings, and this match has already gone on far too long. So Christian and Chavo start us off. Lock-up, Chavo with a Waistlock, Xian reverses, but Chavo takes him to the mat with an armbar. The chainwrestling continues like this for a bit, until Xian breaks a side headlock with an irish whip. Xian with a leapfrog, followed by a Dropkick. Xian randomly decides to swing Ziggler's way, therefore distracting himself, and allowing Chavo to hit two of the Three Amigos. Seriously, why'd he do that? Ziggler barely even moved on the apron before he dashed over and tried to take him down. Did he flip him off, and conceal it well enough to where only Xian would see it? Did he use ESP to threaten Xian's family? Did he yell "When I first you two together, I thought you and Heath Slater were twins!"? The world may never know..anyway, on Chavo's third attempt at the suplex, Xian counters into the Inverted DDT. Horny wants in. I, however, do not want. Horny with his crappy offense against Chavo, until Chavo puts him down with a Big Boot. Chavo grinds his boot into his face. Chavo bodyslams him next to the heel corner, and tags out to Ziggler. I'm actually kind of liking Hornswoggle's role in this match so far. Ziggler also grinds his foot into his throat. Ziggler pulls Horny into the corner, rushes, but Hornswoggle dodges. Xian tagged in, as with Chavo, and Xian of course starts beating on him. Xian goes for an Irish Whip, Chavo reverses, and takes a Forearm. Xian rushes Chavo in the corner, takes an elbow. Chavo hits the ropes, and gets taken down with a Flapjack. Xian up top with the Rolling Elbow! He goes for the Killswitch, but Chavo gets in an elbow, and beats Xian into the corner. Xian evades the rush, gets the Pendulum Kick, followed up by a Missle Dropkick! Xian goes for the cover, but Ziggler breaks it up. Dumbass tries to interfere, apparantly not learning the whole "don't screw with douchebags that are five feet taller than you" lesson. So of course, after a few kicks, Ziggler grabs him by the beard and tosses him to the floor. Are we supposed to feel bad for him when this happens? Because frankly, when you're constantly hitting trained professionals, and shooting them with fucking supersoakers, even if you're supposedly a little kid, you pretty much have it coming..anyway, Christian clotheslines Ziggler to the outside, and Guerrero catches him with the Suplex! Sets up for the Frog Splash - but Xian rolls out of the way. Chavo rolls through - and Xian with the Killswitch! Christian with the pin, for the victory.

Winners: Christian and Hornswoggle

Rating: **3/4

Y'know what, I'll be generous. This was easily my favorite ever Hornswoggle match. He got the crap beat out of him, and for once, didn't actually humiliate anybody. And for once, Chavo looked pretty good tonight. Going to mark this down as a plus. COMMERCIALS!

Commercial thoughts - Did you know that I recently figured out how to make YouTube embeddings shrink down to the size of a start button, and have since decided to use them for music, in a show of absolute genius?

McIntyre vs. Kingston for the IC Title announced for next week. Cut TO THE BACK~! for an interview with LayCool. Matthews introduces them as the Self-Professed Co-Women's Champions. I think McCool's belt is slightly smaller..Michelle says the whole world is talking about them. Sort of like how the whole world was watching the WWF in the early 90's? Layla says the WWE Universe needs a lesson in history. Michelle says that the WWE Women's Championship is the oldest title in WWE history. Doesn't the World Heavyweight Title date back to fucking 1905? They explain why they have two titles, as having both won the Handicap match. There was more to this, but I kind of zoned out..

Weird thing - while watching this show on TV, I was listening to my MP3 player - in particular, "Come Out And Play" by The Offspring. About two minutes into this song, I see Luke Gallows come out and do his little Raven-ripoff pose. Freaked me out, man. Seriously, it was like fish swimming up to die..just fucking cosmic shit going on there. Striker refers to Gallows as SmackDown's Best Kept Secret. Yeeeeeeaaah, the last person to get that title found their mugshots on TMZ, and was later fired. Maybe not the best choice of nicknames there, pal..out comes MVP to face him. Badassly enough, MVP does that little "throw powder into the air" thing that LeBron James is known for. I found this to be adorable.

MVP vs. Luke Gallows (w/Serena)

'P starts with the punches. They seem to be boxing here back and forth, until 'P gets in a Belly-To-Belly. Seems to be intense here, as they trade Mounted Punches. P ducks a clothesline, gets in a flying one of his own, for two. Gallows seems to be complaining to the ref about an eye injury to stall for time. 'P with a Big Boot, advances on Gallows, only to be Back Body Dropped to the floor! Gallows follows, rams 'P into the apron! Gallows throws him into the ring, hits a Snap Suplex for two. Waistlock on P. Amazing camerawork leads to Striker clarifying that Serena is not, in fact, a submission hold. Could've fooled me! P elbows out, only to catch a knee. Gallows whips him to the ropes, tries for a Back Body Drop, only to take a kick. P gets to the corner, Gallows charges, P gets a boot up. Shoulderblock from the second rope, followed by some elbows from MVP. Knee facebuster on Gallows, followed by the False Advertising Elbow Drop to the Elephant Man. Gallows rolls to the outside to avoid further lying manuevers. So 'P responds with a flying shot from the apron. P throws Gallows into the ring, and goes up top - for what, I haven't the foggiest - before Serena comes up to his side of the apron and distracts him. The Ref contronts Serena, as the SVR09 Mystery Man attacks MVP, DDT'ing him onto the apron! P rolls into the ring, where he is hit with the Gallow's Pole. And that is that.

Winner: Luke Gallows

Rating: **3/4

Solid enough match, and the finish was pretty well put together, in my opinion.

Main event up next, but first, COMMERCIALS!

Commercial thoughts - Did you know that I love lamp?

Winner qaulifies for the Fatal Four Way at..er, Fatal Four Way: Rey Mysterio vs. The Undertaker

Taker swiftly charges at Rey, Rey evades, moving quickly around the ring. Taker backs Rey towards the corner - Rey tries to escape, but Taker grabs him and tosses him to the corner. Taker whips him to the opposite corner, rushes, Rey gets the boots up. Rey with a Chop Block, hits the ropes, only to be taken down with a Three Point Stance Clothesline! Taker with a Stun Gun! Didn't some blonde guy used to use that move in WCW? Whatever happened to him..? Rey stands on the apron, Taker goes for a Running Big Boot, but Mysterio dodges to the adjacent apron, and Taker goes over the ropes to the apron instead! Mysterio with a Springboard Dropkick, that takes him to the floor! Taker is pissed, goes into the ring, only for Rey to leave the ring. So Taker leaves the ring to follow, only for Mysterio to get back in. He's like some really annoying SVR online player, just entering and exiting over and over to keep from beind hit. Baseball Slide from Mysterio, followed by a Springboard Moonsault onto Taker to the floor! COMMERCIALS!

Commercial thoughts - Did you know that I once totally a Coca-Cola Bottle? Whole thing too!

And we're back, as Mysterio hits a bunch of legkicks while avoiding shots from Taker. Taker shoves him, bouncing him off the ropes, and tries for what looks like an Oklahoma Slam, but Mysterio slips out the back. Mysterio doubles him over, then hits a snapping kick to the face of Taker, only to get the undead selling. That shit just comes and goes, doesn't it? Taker with teh GOOZLE~!, but Rey breaks it, and tries to slip between Taker's legs. But Taker catches him, gets a shot in, then goes for the Last Ride! Rey slips out the back yet again, however. So Taker responds by breaking one of the most long-standing Fan Laws, rushing towards Mysterio when he's near the ropes - and of course, this leads to him being Drop Toe Held (I think that's the correct term) between the ropes! THE RULES ARE THERE FOR A REASON, ASS HOLE! Mysterio goes for the 619 - only to get his shit fucked up with the Big Boot! Taker tosses Rey from the ring, and he does his signature Warhead selling. I think in SVR 2011, when Mysterio stores a sig, he should have the option to just Suicide Dive himself onto the floor. He's the only one that does it, why not acknowledge that? Taker follows to the outside, and lifts him into Spinebuster position - thrusting him into the ringpost. Taker breaks up the 10 count, before throwing Mysterio into the ringpost. Taker powers Mysterio into the barricade. This plan of attack seems just a little heelesque to me..

Taker rolls Rey into the ring. He rams his arm into the mat, then goes inside, and puts said arm into a Key Lock. After a few seconds of this, Taker transitions into a cover for two. Short-Arm Shoulder Thrust on Rey, followed by the Elevated Wrist Lock. Taker drops Rey onto the mat, covers for two. Taker goes for the same move, but Mysterio gets up to his shoulder, then Rana's him into the top turnbuckle! Mysterio with a West Coast Pop, followed up by a Basement Dropkick for two! Mysterio gets out to the apron, as Taker sits up, only to be hit with a lower West Coast Pop, for two. Taker fights to his knees, gets a big uppercut in that gives him some breathing room. Low Dropkick, takes Taker to the middle ropes - 619! Mysterio tries for the Springboard Frog Splash - but Taker catches him in mid-air, from the mat, by the throat!! Taker stands, Mysterio hits the ropes - Taker counters with the Snake Eyes! Taker tries to follow up with the Big Boot, but Rey ducks it. Rey with a Back Kick, followed by a Springboard Moonsault Press - only to be caught by Taker, and planted with the Tombstone Piledriver! And that is the end of this match!

Winner: The Undertaker Rating: ***

Damned nice match here, much better than I expected. Taker definately had his work boots on tonight.

Did you know that this match brings our show to a close? 'Cause, um..ya, it does. Nothing really bad on this show - surprisingly, Horny's segment wasn't even horrible for once - but until the Main Event, little really stood out either. Lack of Shad, JTG, Hart Dynasty and the Dudebusters was kind of disapointing, they could've upped this show a little. Overall though, not too bad, and the Main Event did put us out on a good note.

Oh, and one more thing..


The Good: As I said, a good note. Never expected Mysterio and Taker to have that kind of chemistry - I really loved that match.

The Bad: Sadly enough, in this case, the dubious distinction of this award goes to a match featuring McIntyre, Swagger and Kingston..the card was full of average level matches, but this one came off to me as the biggest example.

The Ugly: Despite his match this week not being half bad, I still can't, in all good conscience, allow Hornswoggle to continue being involved in angles without making note of it.

Jordan Huie is an incredibly sweet and innocent 16 year old, that's American by birth, and Southern BAH THE GRACE OF GAWD! Some people call him Zeel1. Some people call him TheYTViewer. Some people call him Y2Z. Some people call him Z-Truth. Some people call him Maurrriiice~! *Wah-wow!* His typical attire is a combo of T-Shirts with Affliction-esque designs, leather jackets, sunglasses, and Houndstooth Fedoras, which he enjoys wearing, even with the knowledge that it makes him look like Jimmy Hart's rebellious grandson. His first contact with any other living being was of a horse with a busted leg, who's owner shot himself, because he couldn't bare the weight of shooting said horse. Jordan, naturally, named the horse "Lucky", and Lucky walked through many mountains and valleys, despite his searing pains, to bring Jordan to his parents. His parents, in return, immediately shot Lucky, to show their appreciation. It is believed that this experience is what makes him the teenager he is today.


Bookmark and Share


November 2006


by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).