LOWDOWN ON SMACKDOWN
(05/21/10)
By Jordan Huie
The theme of today's recap is My Hero by The Foo Fighters. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87bcPisyTHs
@Andariel Halo: Jackson Pollack Huie?
Really? That's the best insult you could think of?
Giving me the initials JP? Do you know how
pimping the JP initials are?! I'm not even kidding you!
Go ahead, go up to your pimp, and ask him just how much
he would love to have those initials! I'd bet you
anything his response would be a deep, longing sigh, as
he shakes his head at what could've been, before
slapping you silly for holding out on him AGAIN, you
trifling ho! For the utter weakness of this insult, I
command that you register at www.ewcf.co.nr! And I
command this because you owe it to me after this
weakness - and not at all because I am madly in
love with you and am desperately trying to get closer to
you! NOT EVEN!
@Malculm not deserving a nickname: Holy
crap, where do I start..first off, "Great" Scott truly
is an evil, corrupt human being - I'm not even kidding
here. I know he acts nice, but it's a cover-up. The guy
lives a double life. He attends Klan meetings on the
weekends. Secondly, Donald Duck is a badass mother, so
the whole Huie, Dewey and Louie thing really isn't much
of an insult to me. Third - I'm not Dino Bravo, I'm
obviously Jimmy Hart. I've made that pretty clear. Do
not make me show you what I can do with a megaphone -
you don't want to know! Fourth - the word "maturity" and
the term "FTW" should never be used in the same
sentance. And fifth, "on like neckbones"?!
WHY..I..OUGHTA! Dem's fightin' words, fella! Put 'em up,
put 'em up!
This worked shoot aside, what the hell are
we fighting for? We all know what the real problem
is..that bastard Sean Carless! Waiting days upon days to
post our recaps, solely to make us look lazy! We know
how I brag about getting the file to the show
pre-airing, and am typically sending in the recaps
before the show's even over, yet still they don't come
in until like Monday, or until they can be covered up by
some random PPV from 2003..but what about that poor
little slut, Halo? I hear she makes her recaps before
the show's even taped! It's true - she just makes
really accurate guesses! The man is holding us
down, and I say no more! Revolt, recappers, revolt! We
shall fight them on the beaches! We shall fight them on
the plains!
So anyway, recaps! The file this time didn't
come with a stupid script name..son I am dissapoint.
Recap vid of Swaggies Norris Facts last week. I still
think that was pretty prickish of Show. "Oh, you're
going to call my fingers fat? Okay, I'll ruin everything
you've worked your entire life for! There, now we're
even." I said it once, I'll say it again - anger
management. Still standing here in Ottawa, Ontario,
Canada, and speaking of Show, he takes on Drew McIntyre
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER~! Non-title of course. And Jack
Swagger will be taking on Kofi Kingston for the FIRST
TIME EVER~! Non-title of course. I'm seeing a pattern,
here.
In the ring, is CM Punk, Luke Gallows,
Serena and a handful of FCW wrestlers sitting in chairs
in the ring. Three, to be exact. Gallows gets on the
mic, and says there was a time he was just like said FCW
wrestlers. Doomed to an eternity of working to acheive
the level of Santino Marella? Sounds about right. He
says that he once thought it was impossible to save
himself from his drug addictions, and his awful case of
Elephantitus. But the man that can save everyone in this
ring and the WWE Universe can make the impossible
possible - and that man is John Belushi. Actually it's
CM Punk - but really, dude, Belushi~! Serena says
everyone should stand up and show Punk the respect he
deserves. I don't know if I've ever heard her say
anything differant..Gallows says he can't think of a
better place for this man's selfless and gracious act of
generousity. He says that in Canada it's legal for teens
to drink alchohaul. He says the youth of this nation are
physically and morally handicapping themselves as their
parents turn a blind eye. But that shall end for the
three guys that look like they should be random
douchebag extras in a party scene in American Pie - as
they take the pledge to extinguish the demons from their
EEEEEEEEVIL hair, just like Punk will do to Rey Mysterio
at Over The Limit.
Serena says everyone should stand up and
show Punk the respect he deserves. Actually, for once
she says something differant this time - that the people
sitting before them represent the decay and
worthlessness of this country. So they are there tonight
to heal them, and the power of Straightedge will bes een
from now through eternity. Punk commands everyone to
raise their hands and feel the power of Straightedge,
like he's He-Man or something. This pledge absolves them
of all weaknessess. I assume this is his way of saying
"these random guys who came off the street are now
suddenly strong enough to do run-ins and have matches".
The three indy dudes recite the pledge. COME ON, PLEDGE,
DRINK UP! Wait, differant pledge, sorry. Punk says he
needs the indy guys to show their devotions through
actions and not just words. And now is the time where we
rape three dignities at once, as all three of them get
shaved. After most of the hair is gone, out comes Rey
Mysterio, just a little late. Reminds of that "It's too
bad I didn't get there until after the sodomy" gag from
Family Guy. Rey says this whole mass induction ceremony
is ridiculous, before saying the three guys in the ring
look silly. Rey says everyone will really be laughing at
Over The Limit when CM Punk looks like this - and shows
a pic of a bald Punk on the screen. An impressive
arguement to be sure. COMMERCIALS
Commercial thoughts -
During the Commercial Break, Punk got on the
mic and told us that Rey thinks he's cute, he knows he's
sexy, he's got the looks that drive the girls wild - but
this is what will happen to Rey Mysterio at Over The
Limit. They then torture us by showing No Holds Barred.
Nah, they just beat up the indy dudes. Naturally, we
transition from this to LayCool making their No Mercy
entrance. Oh would you look at that..they both have
Women's titles. The ring announcer announces them as
Co-Women's Champions.
Apparently Co-Women's Champions, LayCool vs. Kelly Kelly
and GBFGM Tiffany (Going to take a stab in the dark and
say Non-Title)
Layla starts out with Kelly. Kelly shoots
Layla of the ropes, Layla counters into some weird Flash
Pin. Layla with a wrist lock on Kelly, Kelly goes up top
with her wrist still held, and the file parts miss a
couple of seconds, so I don't know exactly what she did,
but she came off the top to break it. Kelly with a kick,
takes Layla into the corner, Layla with the floatover to
apron. Kelly takes the legs out of Layla and she trips
to the floor. Kelly goes across the apron, knocks McCool
to the floor, then comes off the top with a Crossbody on
McCool! Kelly chases Layla into a flying clothesline off
the apron from GBFGM Tiffany! In the ring, Tiffany is
tagged in, double team move as Kelly holds Layla in
place for a Sunset Flip. This gets 1, but Tiffany
continues the assault. Monkey Flip out of the corner on
Layla. Layla catches her with a knee, tags in McCool,
but Tiffany hurls McCool aside. Tiffany goes for a
standing Monkey Flip - but McCool counters with the
Faith Breaker.
Winners: LayCool
Rating: **3/4ths
Bit of a reminder that the diva matches are
rated on a differant scale. This was actually really
good for a divas match.
So naturally, we transition from them
celebrating to a smiling Big Show. He says that Jack
Swagger has been telling of his accolades. He says "Did
you know, three weeks ago, I knocked Jack Swagger out?"
It's true, I was there. But that's just one of his many
accomplishments. So, ya, out comes JTG to face off
against Lara Croft's little brother Caylen. We get a
little picture-in-picture interview with the
Dudebusters. They say they bust dudes up. The more you
know.
Caylen
Croft (w/Trent Baretta) vs. JTG
Lock-up, JTG with a Hammerlock, Caylen
elbows out, whips him to the ropes, tries to slip to the
mat only to get his nappy head stomped in. Croft goes
for a clothesline, but JTG ducks it and gets in a
Short-Arm Clothesline. JTG with an Inverted Neck Snap,
for a nearfall. Caylen fights out of the corner, gets a
Neckbreaker on JTG. Caylen with a facelock, JTG fights
out, Caylen whips JTG to the ropes, goes for a Back Body
Drop, but JTG catches him with the Goldust Uppercut, JTG
ducks a clothesline, gets in a Flying Clothesline,
follows up with a Dropkick, that takes Caylen to the
corner. Mug Shot out of the corner, only for Baretta to
try and distract J. It doesn't work, though, as JTG
ducks a clothesline and nails the Shoutout, for the
victoly.
Winner: JTG
Rating: **1/2
I'm starting to see JTG vs. Dudebusters a
little too much for my tastes, but they are pretty good
together.
Cut TO THE BACK~!, to see Vickie Guerrero
texting on her cellphone. EXCITEMENT! DRAMA! ACTION! In
comes Christian. Vickie says tonight is the return of
The Peep Show on SD!, but Xian says it's not his show -
it belongs to the Peeps. Vickie is curious as to who the
first guest of the show is. Vickie says she wants it to
be her, but Xian says he actually wants people to watch
the show. Xian says the Peeps have sent in numerous
requests and Vickie didn't even break the Top 100.
Vickie says she's pretty popular, and Xian says he's had
them send videos to prove their point. On the list -
Bret Hart, The Mountie, The Brooklyn Brawler, Jared from
Subway, and Lester the guy who loves chicken. Vickie
asks who he is, and Xian says he doesn't know - but he
loves chicken, and the world must know! Vickie asks who
is No. 1. Xian says he can't tell her, but they've never
seen eye-to-eye. COMMERCIALS, PROBABLY
Commercial thoughts -
Out comes Vance Archer, accompanied by...who
the hell is this? Some guy with red jeans that makes him
look like a lower carder from the Attitude Era. He looks
familiar, but..oh hey, it's Curt Hawkins. Wondered when
we'd be seeing him again. Meanwhile, Vance has grown his
hair out to a Marty McFly kind of style. Speaking of
which, in the ring are two indy dudes that need to make
like a tree and get outta here!
Vance
Archer and Curt Hawkins vs. Jeremy Barner and Brent
Roberts
I think it's Brent in there with Curt
Hawkins first. Hawkins slaps Roberts, whips him to the
ropes, and hits a huge swinging bodyslam. Hawkins
forcefully shoves Brent into the corner, tags in Vance,
and we get a nice double team move, as Hawkins trips
Brent while slipping to the outside, setting him up for
a boot to the head from Archer. Archer with a move that
looked similar to the Black Hole Slam, except at the end
he just kind of throws him backwards. In comes Barner,
only to get hurled backwards all the way to the opposite
corner. Wow and damn. Hawkins tagged back in, Vance with
his Inverted DDT, followed by a Top Rope Elbow Drop from
Hawkins. And that will do it.
Winners: Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins
Ratings: **
It was basically just a string of cool
moves, but for a sqaush I don't really see much of a
problem with that. They were meant to look impressive
and impactful, and they got that done, so it gets my
approval.
Post-match, Archer gets on the mic and says
to pay attention. Archer gives the mic to Hawkins.
Hawkins says they have twenty two days left to make an
impact. And they will do it, whether you like ir ot not.
Cue HBK/Diesel high five. Man, Hawkins's voice sounds
just like the voice I hear in my head whenever I read
one of Malcum X's articles.
I wanted to put "Speaking of worked shoots"
here, and then transition into something humorously
fitting, but WWE went from this segment to Big Show
bragging about putting Swagger through the Announce
Table two weeks ago, and that doesn't work at all!
Curse you WWE, for not giving me sufficient ammunition!
CURSE YOU! Anyway, Swagger vs. Kingston up next.
COMMERCIALS!
Commercial thoughts-
When we come back, out comes Swagger for a
Pre-Match promo. He puts on his best sadface as he says
Big Show disrespected him last week. He also
disrespected Oklahoma, and his Daddy Blastoise. Most
importantly, he disrespected the World Heavyweight
Championship itself. Nice to see where his priorities
lie. Title first, family second. Swagger says this
Sunday, he shall disrespect Big Show, and the ring
announcer will say the winner..and STIIILLL..World
Heavyweight Champion, The All-American American American
American American American American American American
American www.ewcf.co.nr is a great forum that you should
register at, especially you Halo American American
American American American, Jack Swagger. While Kingston
makes his entrance, we see a replay of the
McIntyre/Kingston IC Title angle last week, before
getting the announcement that Kingston/McIntyre will be
facing off for the IC Title at Over The Limit.
World
Heavyweight Champion, Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston
(Non-Title)
Tie-up, Swagger takes Kingston to the
corner, but Kingston fights out and Dropkicks Swagger to
the outside. Swagger tries to dash back into the ring,
only to get caught with a Baseball Slide. Swagger runs
back in, and starts beating on Kingston, Kingston tries
for an Irish Whip to the corner, Swagger counts,
Kingston bounces off the corner with a Flying Forearm!
Kingston with a clothesline that takes Swagger to the
outside. Kofi BOOM BOOM BOOMs, as we go to COMMERCIALS!
Commercial thoughts -
When we come back, Kingston has Swagger in
an Arm Bar. Swagger fights out, whips Kingston to the
ropes, Kingston holds on, Swagger goes for a clothesline
but Kingston pulls the ropes down, causing Swaggie to
fall to the floor. Kingston goes for a Crossbody to the
outside, but Swagger catches him out of the air, puts
him in Fireman's Carry position - then hurls Kingston
into the ringpost! Swagger throws Kingston into the
ring, covers for two. Jack with shots to the back in the
corner. Swagger with the clean break, Kingston fights to
his feet, only to get whipped into the corner for a
Corner Clothesline. VADAH SPLASH - Kingston moves out of
the way, Swagger lands on his feet, rushes Kingston but
catches an elbow out of the corner. Kingston off the
top, only to catch a Big Boot out of the air! This gets
two. Swagger with a waistlock, starts working the ribs.
Swagger whips Kingston to the ropes, Kingston counters
with a Sunset Flip for two. Swaggie with his usual
beautiful ass Belly To Belly. Swaggie takes Kingston to
the corner for a number of Shoulder Thrusts. Swaggie
takes Kingston to an adjacent corner for some reason,
pulling him to the top rope. They trade shots, Kingston
gets the advantage - nails the Tornado DDT!
Kingston takes it to Swagger with chops and
a dropkick, following up with the Elevated Corner
Punches. Swagger out of the corner - and Kingston plants
him with the SOS! Kofi tries for a Running Kick to the
seated Swagger, but Swagger makes his way under the
foot, Kofi dodges a clothesline, goes for the Trouble In
Paradise - Swagger ducks it, goes for a Back Suplex but
Kingston slips out the back and nails the Rolling
Russian Leg Sweep! Kingston goes for the Boom Drop, but
Swagger shoots to his feet and clotheslines him from
behind. Swagger with a Running Big Boot to the head of
Kingston, covers for two - as out comes Big Show with a
mic? Show says he has one more thing to tell Swagger,
that is very important - as Kofi slips to the apron.
Swagger is distracted for a moment, turns around - into
a Springboard Crossbody from Kingston! Kingston with the
flash victory!
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Rating: ***
Very nice match, the ending saved face for
Swagger and presuming he retains this Sunday, both of
the men involved will come out looking good.
Post-match, Big Show points to the
titantron, which shows one of the WWE Did You Know facts
- this one being "Kofi just beat you". Most legitimate
fact they have presented in this way, without a doubt.
We are reminded of Show/McIntyre tonight, and a match
pitting Rey Mysterio and MVP vs. the SES is also
announced. And up next - the Peep Show. All this, right
after COMMERCIALS!
Commercial thoughts -
Out comes Xian for the Peep Show, as the
commentators talk of him being in him being in his home
country, and I suddenly worry for his safety. He takes
up a mic and welcomes us to the Peep Show. I am liking
the logo. Xian says this is the first show back on SD!,
and like he said, he and his guest have never seen
eye-to-eye. ...that..is starting to give me a sickening
feeling in my stomach, as I start to be reminded of a
certain trollface.jpg that was drafted to SD!..FACK, I
was right. I seriously predicted that, and I hate that I
was able to. Okay..I'm not recapping this. The
Burgetimate Warriah could skip this when I wanted to,
I'm doing the same. Just assume he yells answers to
interview questions, until being interupted by Vickie
and Chavo. Vickie decides that she's shutting this show
down. Well, when the pilot is this bad, what choice do
they have? Vickie says that he was teaching him about
the most useless country the world, Canada. Yeah, glad I
didn't recap that. Xian says there's another word he
wanted to teach him - obesity. And another word - moose.
Horny calls Vickie a moose a number of times.
God..Vickie says that if Xian won't leave the ring,
Chavo will force him out. What is this I don't even.
Meanwhile, Horny hides in a box. What is this I don't
even. Ziggler suddenly attacks Xian from behind, and
nails the Zig Zag. What is this I don't even. Chavo goes
up top, as Xian is spread eagle - Chavo with the Frog
Splash on Christian. Ziggler then does his usual
hairsweat flick, this time doing it in apparent slow
motion. What is this I don't even. COMMERCIALS
Commercial thoughts -
Out comes Rey-Rey and MVP to face SES.
Rey
Mysterio and MVP vs. CM Punk and Luke Gallows (w/Serena)
Former convict vs. former retard here, as
MVP starts out with Gallows. MVP with a headlock,
Gallows breaks it off the ropes then takes him down with
a Shoulderblock, before pledging again. Gallows whips
MVP to the ropes, P ducks a clothesline, takes him down
with one of his own. P tags in Rey, then lifts him up
and slams him onto Gallows for two. Rey-Rey with a D-Lo
Brownesque low legdrop for one. Rey puls Gallows up,
Gallows goes for an Irish Whip, tries for a Back
Body Drop but Rey counters with a kick and tags in MVP.
Totally babyface doubleteaming follows, as Rey sets
Gallows up for a Big Boot from MVP that earns a
nearfall.
'P tries to whip Gallows to the corner, gets
reversed, elbows Gallows out of the corner. P goes up
next, only to be distracted by Serena, allowing Gallows
to trip MVP to the mat. COMMERCIALS!
Commercial thoughts - American American
American American American American American American
www.ewcf.co.nr is a great forum that you should register
at, especially you Halo American American American
American American American American American
When we come back, Punk has MVP in something
of a half Indian Deathlock. Punk with a cover, gets two.
Gallows is tagged in, they double team MVP in the heel
corner. MVP fights up off the break, lunges towards Rey,
Gallows catches MVP onto his shoulder. Gallows allows
MVP to get within an inch of tagging Mysterio, but fate,
she is cruel, and Gallows rams MVP back into the SES
corner. Punk tagged in - goes for the Pepsi One, but MVP
shoves him to the mat. MVP tries to get to his corner,
but Punk pulls him into a leglock, while Gallows is
tagged in, beating up on P. Gallows with a bodyslam,
followed up by a splash, for a nearfall. Gallows tags
Punk in, Punk with a Spinning Kick to the head of MVP!
This gets a nearfall. Gallows back in, they double team
MVP for a bit, until Gallows locks him into a waistlock.
MVP fights out, hits a Knee Facebuster, tags in Mysterio
who comes in with a West Coast Pop, followed up by a
Springboard Crossbody for two! Rey attacks Punk, then
Springboards into the Wheelbarrow Bulldog for a
nearfall! Gallows shoots Rey off the ropes, goes for a
Powerslam, Rey slips out the back, hits a Chopblock that
takes Gallows to the middle rope somehow, Rey sets up
for the 619 - only to get clipped by a Springboard
Clothesline from Punk, after a blind tag! Nice.
This gets a very close nearfall. Punk pulls Mysterio
into GTS position - Mysterio counters with a roll-up,
but Gallows breaks it up. P intercepts Gallows, and hits
a Cactus Clothesline! Rey with a low dropkick that takes
Punk into 619 position, runs to the opposite side only
to find the SVR09 masked man! Rey sends a few shots to
him, before ramming him into the steel pole! Rey seems
to try and follow to the outside, only to be clipped by
Punk. Punk shoots Rey off the ropes, seems to go for a
Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker, only for Rey to counter with a
Hurricarana! Bridges - and that's it!
Winners: Rey Mysterio and MVP
Ratings: ***
Sweet match, developed well and ended
excitedly.
TO THE BACK~!, with Josh Matthews,
interviewing Drew McIntyre. Matthews mentions McIntyre
being reinstated last week, and asks if he feels he's
deserving of the IC Title. Drew says Matt Hardy deserved
what he got, Teddy Long deserved what he got last week,
and he truly deserves to be the Chosen One. The Big Mac
is confronted by Kofi Kingston. Kingston tells him the
IC Title is his - he's earned it, deserves it, and wants
it back. Kingston says the boss won't get him out of
Trouble In Paradise. Drew tells Kofi to listen, but Kofi
interupts with the BOOM BOOM BOOM. I like how he's all
super-serious one second, and then completely retarded
the next. COMMERCIALS!
Commercial thoughts - F
In comes the Big Show, as the Swagger/Kofi
shenanigans replay. In the ring, he's doing some Eugene
Clapping. It seems like everyone's doing that nowadays,
doesn't it? This may be a good time for a resurgance,
Dinsmore!
The Big
Show vs. Intercontinental Champion, Drew McIntyre
(Non-Title, if you were wondering)
We are now at the 10:35 mark of the last
file of the show, and it ends at 16:09, so you'll
understand if I'm not exactly expecting a classic
here..Show shoves McIntyre into the corner, and beats
him into it, getting a huge chop onto the chest.
McIntyre tries to retreat, Show follows him up the ramp,
throws him into the ring. McIntyre attacks, but Show
stops that cold with a headbutt. Bodyslam follows.
Totally babyfacesque choking on the ropes from Show.
Show with the "Shhh" chop on McIntyre, in the ropes.
This is repeated, in a corner this time. Meanwhile,
Grisham tells us that Show's hands are the size of a can
of Coke. Just when you think the Kitchen Appliance
comparisons are over, now come the vending good
comparisons! No wonder the guy's got anger issues..the
fans chant for one more chop - Show tries to comply with
a third corner chop, only for Drew to catch him with a
poke to the eyes! This gains some good heat for Drew as
he attacks Show - hits the ropes, and gets run down with
a clothesline! Headbutt to McIntyre, takes him to the
outside. Show pulls McIntyre up to the apron by the hair
- McIntyre hotshots Show onto the top rope! Show
staggers, and McIntyre hooks the arms, trying to get the
Future Shock DDT - but Show with a chop to the chest
that drops him. Show with a Reverse Avalanche in the
corner, then does the beastly hand raising. Chokeslam
nailed - in comes Swagger with a Big Boot, causing the
DQ!
Winner: Big Show
Rating: **
Not really much of a back-and-forth match,
but atleast McIntyre looked better here than he did
against The Undertaker just before WrestleMania. The DQ
didn't really lower the score as much this time, since
all the run-in really stopped was the last three count.
Show's down - VADAH SPLASH! Second VADAH
SPLASH! Swaggie then starts stomping his punching hand.
Swagger retrieves a chair, runs at Show with it - Show
punches it away! Show picks the chair back up, and
Swagger runs to the outside. Swagger backs up the ramp,
as Show begins roaring. And that signals the end of this
broadcast.
Hmm. Seemed like I didn't swear as much in
this recap..hold on a second; fuck shit bastard bitch
meacrob fuck fuck fuck Bob Saget. Ahh, there we go.
Gotta meet the quota, y'know. Wouldn't want people to
think these recaps are respectable, now would we?
The Good:
Gotta be Swagger/Kingston. Plenty of pros to it, and
presuming Swagger ends up retaining, not a con in sight.
The Bad:
OH GOD, HORNY'S HERE AGAIN, WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
WHY?!
The Ugly:
Sean Carless, we comin' fo YOU, nigga!
Jordan Huie is an incredibly sweet and innocent 16 year
old, that's American by birth, and Southern BAH THE
GRACE OF GAWD! Some people call him Zeel1. Some people
call him TheYTViewer. Some people call him Y2Z. Some
people call him Z-Truth. Some people call him
Maurrriiice~! *Wah-wow!* His typical attire is a combo
of T-Shirts with Affliction-esque designs, leather
jackets, sunglasses, and Houndstooth Fedoras, which he
enjoys wearing, even with the knowledge that it makes
him look like Jimmy Hart's rebellious grandson. His
first contact with any other living being was of a horse
with a busted leg, who's owner shot himself, because he
couldn't bare the weight of shooting said horse. Jordan,
naturally, named the horse "Lucky", and Lucky walked
through many mountains and valleys, despite his searing
pains, to bring Jordan to his parents. His parents, in
return, immediately shot Lucky, to show their
appreciation. It is believed that this experience is
what makes him the teenager he is today.
TWF FLASHBACK
November 2006
SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!
With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).
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