Calm Like A
Bomb by Rage Against The Machine
Good
evening, TWF and EWCF readers! It is time for
another edition of Z-Truth/the Lowdown on
SmackDown!, and I am your adorable party host,
Jordan Huie! And this week, I actually figured out
where we are - London, England! ...which..kinda
contridicts the whole "no country other than America
has cities" Fan Law, but hey, it's London, we can
make that exception.
We start this show off
right, as out comes our Lord and Savior, Chris
Jericho! This promo will be LEGEND- wait for it..
While Jericho makes his entrance, Todd Grisham
pronounces Hasselhoff as "Alchohaul" somehow, before
hyping up the Swaggert/Orton..title match at Extreme
Rules? Huh. This is news to me. I guess I should pay
a little more attention to Raw..or to Cameron
Burge's recaps. Two peeps in the crowd have signs
that say "I'm a hypocrite" and "I'm a parasite"
respectively. What great self-degregation, get them
off this staff pronto!
Jericho gets on the
mic, and states that he will talk slowly and simply
so that even the Mexican demographic - I mean, even
all the parasites can understand him. Jericho
complains about the World Heavyweight Title needing
to be exclusive to SmackDown!, mentioning that he
brought prominance and glory to that very title.
It's true, nobody ever though it could be returned
from the depths of having Khali win it after
eliminating some 14 cruiserweights. He mentions that
Swaggert cashed the MITB case in on him, therefore
entitling him to a rematch, and yet he doesn't have
one. Why? Because Teddy Long is the most incompetant
buffoon that's ever had a viagra-induced heart
attack. The fans actually cheer this. He says Long
needs to rectify the situation by doing a number of
things.
1. Hand in his resignation
immediately
2. Ensure that he faces the
winner of Orton/Swaggert as soon as the match is
over
3. ???
4. PROFIT!
Jericho
says even the hypocrites understand that he has been
mistreated, and deserves better. Suddenly, out comes
some guy with horseteeth..he looks familar. I think
I know him..
Whoever this guy is, he says
that he strangely finds himself agreeing with a few
of Jericho's points. He says that the title should
stay on SmackDown, and that Jericho does deserve a
rematch, as well as a kick to the cobblepot. Whoever
in the holy hell this guy is, he says that he
doesn't think Chris is the guy to save the title for
SmackDown, and calls him damaged goods. He asks how
many time he's speared him over the last month,
stood over him while he clutched his ribs wondering
if they're broken. He says that in the condition
Jericho is, he couldn't beat Orton or Swaggert.
Chris asks if he thinks he can beat them, and the
random dude says he knows he can. The crowd starts a
random chant for one of Goldberg's finishers..odd.
It's at this point, that Teddy Long's terrible theme
hits, and out comes saying he doesn't appreciate
Jericho hatin' on him. Haters wanna hate, lovers
wanna love..Jericho tells him if he were doing his
job, he wouldn't have to be hating on him. Jericho
says that what Long is doing is unacceptable.
Naughty stool~! He demands to get what he deserves.
Long states that what Jericho deserves is to be
thrown from the building. LIES AND SLANDER. Long
says that he knows Chris has a rematch clause, but
isn't the one to decide it. Long then announces that
Jericho will be getting his championship
rematch..tonight~! Jericho thanks him for finally
getting his shit together, before saying that he
will beat Swaggert tonight, retain against Orton,
and then make sure Edge never gets another title
shot again. Long interupts and says that Jericho has
no POWAH. Long says he belees Edge - whoever that is
- when he says he can keep the title on SmackDown!,
before announcing that the title match tonight will
be a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH, PLAYA! NOW BLEE DAT!
COMMERCIALS
Commercial Thoughts - Commercial
Thoughts - Does switching to Gieco really save you
15% or more on Car Insurance..? ....Is registering
at ewcf.co.nr the smartest thing you could ever
possibly do to increase the pleasure of your entire
fleeting existance?
When we come back,
McIntyre's amazing theme plays. I'm convinced the
only reason that crowds aren't that loud when he
comes out is simply because they are too busy
listening to and loving that song. Out he walks, all
slow, like he thinks he's Orton. Big Mac takes up a
mic, wonder if he'll say anything this week. He says
the people don't like him. Could it be, he asks,
because he's young, hung and good with his tongue?
Wait, that's Joel Gertner, sorry. You can understand
me getting them mixed up, right? I mean, they're so
similar! Maybe, he says, it's because he's the
Champion of the Inter-Continents. Or perhaps because
he's Jeff Jar- I mean, THE CHOSEN ONE. He says the
people don't like him, and he doesn't like them
either. He then throws the mic down, and it hits the
mat the moment Kane's Stage Flames burst, which
somehow reminds me of the Aqua Teens, when Shake
would throw things down and they would randomly
explode. Out comes Kane, to the ring.
Intercontinental Champion, Drew McIntyre vs. Kane
(Non-Title, as far as I know)
McIntyre
makes his way to the corner, ducks a shot from Kane,
and starts pounding on him in the corner, and beats
him to an opposite. FROM PILLER TO POST, BAH GAWD!
Kane strikes back from the corner however, before
hurling McIntyre halfway across the ring. Kane then
puts McInytre into a headlock, his amatuer days at
Hell U really paying off here. McInytre fights to
his efeet, then breaks the headlock off the ropes,
but Kane rebounds off the ropes into a Shoulder
Block, that gets a 1 count. Kane gets him back in a
Headlock, before snapmaring him to a prone position,
and nailing him with a Basement Dropkick, for two.
Kane takes Drew to the corner, then whips him to the
opposite corner. Kane goes for a Shoulder Block, but
Drew evades it - then nails Kane with a Running Big
Boot. Nice exchange. McIntyre hits a Neckbreaker,
for 1. McIntyre beats onto Kane into the corner.
McIntyre hits the ropes - and Kane counters with a
Big Boot. Drew stumbles into the corner, Kane with a
clothesline into it, leading into a Side Slam, for
two. Kane then goes up top, for the Flying
Clothesline...from hell? I dunno, heaven would be
apropos for it, seeing as it's from the air and all,
but it's Kane, for God's sakes..I dunno, juries out.
While I waste time with this stupid bullshit, Kane
stalks for the chokeslam. But McIntyre leaves the
ring to avoid it..and then starts going up the ramp
- only for Matt Hardy to run down, and send McIntyre
back into the ring! Stupidly enough, the ref decides
this is grounds for Disqaulification, as Kane
chokeslams McIntyre.
Winner:
Drew
McIntyre, by DQ
Rating:
**2/3
Very nice match actually,
but should've been longer. Post-match, Hardy..checks
on McIntyre? I'm guessing he was supposed to be
taunting him, but damned if he didn't look
concerned. Kane then grabs Matt, and chokeslams him
as well. I..have no idea what story they're building
to with this.
TO THE BACK, BAH GAWD, to see
Teddy Long pressing buttons on his phone. CAN YOU
SAY RATINGS?! In comes Jack Swaggert behind him,
belt on his shoulder. Swaggert stares at him for an
awkwardly long time, before spouting out "Who do you
think you are?! This is the most unfair ruling
you've ever made!" Teddy says well hey Jack,
ah-dontcha know that as long as you hold the World
Heavyweight Title, you will be my bitch. I might
have paraphrased, just slightly.
Up next,
out comes Zeigheil, while a vid plays of him putting
Josh Matthews in a Sleeper. ZZToppler takes up the
mic. Dolphin tells us that the GM demanded he
publically apologize for abusing Matthews. Endolphin
therefore gives an apology that would make Mel
Gibson say "Damn, that was insincere!" After this,
IT'S TIME TO CRANK IT UP, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO,
HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO! If you're every wondering
where the show is being held, just listen to
R-Truth, who would've made a great fifth beatle,
according to Striker. R-Truth starts talking shit on
Ziggy Thump, telling him he has no heart, no soul,
and has never been sincere or humble about anything
in his life, saying "that's the truth" after every
statement. In just a few minutes, he's about to find
out that the truth hurts, according to him.
Dolpinteen Zangief vs. R-Truth
They
circle for a moment, and Nicky offers a handshake -
only to attack Truth. It should be noted Truth
didn't actually accept it, just dropped his gaurd.
Ziegxies takes it to Truth with a few shots, before
nailing him with a sweet looking Inverted Bodyslam,
for two. Ziggiez puts Truth into a headlock, as we
replay the inverted bodyslam. Truth fights to his
feet, then gets out of the headlock with an Arm
Drag. Ziggikins goes for a clothesline, but Truth
ducks it, then starts with a series of his own
clotheslines. Truth goes for an irish whip into the
corner, Ziggles reverses it, Truth does the usual
floatover, backflips, ducks a clothesline with the
splits, then nails Ziggy Marely with a Leg Lariat.
Truth with a Hip Toss, goes for the Lie Detector,
but Zigzag ducks it. Truth takes a moment to stand,
and the Zig stalks for a bit - before locking in the
Sleeper! Truth struggles, but Zigs takes him to the
mat, and puts in a Body Scissors. The crowd tries to
rally for Truth, but before too long, he's out.
Winner:
Dolph Ziggler
Rating:
**1/2
See the summary for
McIntyre/Kane.
COMMERCIALS
Commercial
Thoughts - So I'm on the TWF forums, and I see that
there are six guests..obviously, the reason the
forum is slow right now is not because people don't
want to be on it. I figure it's been said by now,
but I thought I'd clarify again - if you want to
visit the forums, you need to go to it's direct
link. Not the link off the main site, with the menu
bar - that won't work. The direct link - as RD
Reynolds would say - is righchere:
http://thewrestlingfan.forumco.com/
Just thought I'd clear that up for people,
because I'm so nice to you fucking penniless
miscreants.
When we return, out skips Mickie James.
Mickie James vs. Women's Champion Michelle McCool
(w/Layla and Vickie) (Non-Title..?)
Amusingly enough, Striker claims that Mickie James'
fans are known as the James Gang, bia bia! Mickie
takes control by..grabbing her hair and pulling her
forwards? Okay..Michelle throws Mickie backwards,
and then does the Steiner push-ups..the hell? Mickie
counters with push-ups of her own. HAH?!
Strange..Mickie then hits a dropkick on the prone
Michelle, and goes for a roll-up, and a Jacknife
(Jillknife?) Cover, both of which get nearfalls.
McCool stops the momentum with a kick, before going
for an Irish Whip into the corner, which Mickie
stops with an elbow. Mickie tries for a Tornado DDT
out of the corner, but Michelle knocks Mickie to the
apron. They fight it out in this position for a bit
- until McCool sends Mickie to the steel post.
McCool pulls Mickie into the ring, and then rams her
head onto the mat. McCool puts Mickie in a
headscissors. McCool drives Mickie facefirst into
the mat using the headscissors. Mickie gets to the
ropes, and starts fighting back out of the break,
but McCool cuts it off, and starts beating on
Mickie. Mickie fights back after being put in the
corner, then hits her signature Rana out of the
corner, which Michelle responds to by leaving the
ring. Mickie follows, and sends her into the
barricade. Mickie then gets onto the barricade - and
Louise Thesz Presses McCool! Damn, didn't see that
coming..she then does the same to Layla, before
dragging McCool into the ring. Mickie hits the ropes
- McCool goes for a clothesline, Mickie ducks it and
nails a Neckbreaker. Mickie goes for a pin, but
Layla distracts the ref. Mickie takes Layla down,
and turns right into the Sweet Skeleton Music!
That'll do, pig.
Winner:
Michelle
McCool
Rating:
***
Best diva match I've seen in
a while, not gonna lie. I should note that they have
a differant rating standard then the male matches.
Post-match, McCool beats on Mickie, only for Beth
Phoenix to run into the ring. She tries to attack,
only for Layla and Vickie to drag Michelle to the
outside. Phoenix chases the three of them into the
crowd, and stands on the barricade to stare them
down. Phoenix's music plays, and she goes into the
ring to help Mickie up, which I'm sure the James
Gang, bia bia, really appreciate. We see a Six-Man
Tag Match hyped tonight, pitting Rey-Rey and the
Hart Dynasty against CM Punk, Luke Gallows and Young
Darren.
COMMERCIALS
Commercial Thoughts - Not
shit.
When we come back, the commentators are
randomly talking about the draft, which I assume was
mentioned during the commercials. Striker mentions
that they could split up, to which Grisham replies
"God save the queen".
TO THE BACK~! with
Gallows and Young Darren. Gallows tells Young not to
let the upset victoly on NXT get to his nappy head.
Gallows tells him that if he ever gets another
chance, he'll destroy Young and shave his head.
Darren asks him what it feels like losing to an NXT
rookie. Punk comes in, to break them up. Punk tells
him they're both on thin ice, and that if they want
to fight, they should do it in the ring. Punk then
consoles Gallows on his Elephantitus, before leading
them out to the ring, and..COMMERCIALS?
Commercial Thoughts - If I was actually watching on
TV, I'd be annoyed at the sudden rapidfire
commercials.
When we come back, the SES (I
hear them shouting..SES..I hear them crying..) are
in the ring, and The Miz is in the booth.
The Straight Society (CM Punk, Luke
Gallows and Young Darren) vs. The Hart Dynasty and
Rey-Rey-Rey-Rey
DH Smith starts out
with CM Punk. BATTLE OF THE INITIALS. But Punk
quickly tags out to Gallows, to be a spoilsport.
Gallows takes control of Gallows, whipping him into
the corner, and hitting an Avalanche. Gallows takes
him to the opposite corner, but DH counters by
slamming Gallow's head into the top turnbuckle pad.
DH whips him to the opposite corner, goes for the
Idiot Charge, but Gallows gets a kick. Gallows
rushes at Smith, only to be countered with a
Powerslam, that gets two. This is a lot faster then
I thought these two would be going. DH pulls Gallows
up, and takes him to the corner, where he tags in
Mysterio..who then immediately tags in Tyson Kidd?
And both Mysterio and (the 1-2-3) Kidd come out for
a Triple Team - DH with a Drop Toe Hold, Mysterio
Kidd with the Stereo Dropkicks to the head of the
Elephant Man. Kidd tries to persue Gallows, who
retreats to the corner and tags Punk back in. Punk
and Kidd lockup, Kidd with a wristlock, into an
armbar. Punk flips out, trips Kidd up, goes for a
quick cover, that gets 0. Punk and Kidd circle, go
for a Test of Strength, that Punk immediately breaks
with a kick. Punk with a Snapmare, and snap kicks
the back of Kidd. Punk with an Irish Whip, Kidd
counters an Arm Drag with an Arm Drag, then tags out
to DH, who kicks Punk..and tags out to Mysterio. DH
and Kidd put Punk up into Double Delayed Suplex
position - and Mysterio with the Seated Senton onto
Punk from that position! OMGWTFBBQINNOVATION. This
gets two. Mysterio takes control of Punk in the
corner, only to get pulled into the second
turnbuckle pad. Punk then unloads onto Mysterio with
punches and stomps. Meanwhile, Striker asks Miz what
Punk would look like bald. Aren't there celebsites
where you can figure stuff like that out? Punk with
a Baseball Slide into the turnbuckle post, for a two
count. Punk puts Mysterio into an armbar. The crowd
rallies as Mysteriou fights to his feet. Punk Irish
Whips Mysterio - Mysterio counters with that
weird-ass bulldog of his! Mysterio with a dropkick,
that takes Punk into 619-position, Mysterio goes for
it - Punk escapes to the outside. COMMERCIALS
Commercial Thoughts - Not shit.
When we come
back, it's Young Darren and Mysterio in the ring,
with Mysterio in the corner. Darren goes for a shot,
Mysterio evades it and sends a multitude of kicks to
the side of Young. Mysterio tags in DH Smith, who
beats on Young in the corner. DH tags in to Kidd,
and the two of them hit a Double Shoulderblock on
Young. Kidd puts Darren into an armbar. Darren
fights up and puts Kidd into the corner, and tags in
Gallows, who pounds on Kidd. Gallows pulls Kidd up,
and tries to launch Kidd to the outside, but Kidd
stays on the apron. Kidd hits a Roundhouse Kick on
the Elephant Man, before going for a springboard,
but Gallows takes him to the outside with a Big
Boot. Gallows swiftly throws him back in, and beats
on him a bit before getting a nearfall. Gallows
takes Kidd into the corner, where Young tags in, and
nails Kidd with a neckbreaker, for a nearfall. Punk
tags in, and hits a spinning kick to the torso of
Kidd, and takes him to the mat for a 2 count. Punk
nails a Backbreaker on Kidd, for another two. Punk
locks Kidd into a headscissors - and the crowd
IMMEDIATELY starts the clap for him. Wow, way to be
patient. Kidd bridges to get a nearfall on Punk, who
breaks his headscissors to slam Kidd down. Punk tags
in Young, who goes for a Top Rope Legdrop, but Kidd
gets out of the way. Darren tags in Punk, when Kidd
tries for the hot tag, and Punk takes Mysterio to
the outside, only for Kidd to hit an enziguri on
Punk, before tagging in DH.
And DH like a
HOUSE OF FIYAH, taking it to the SES. While DH takes
Darren and Gallows off the apron, Punk goes for a
rollup, DH rolls through for one of his own, that
Punk kicks out of. DH tries to take Gallows off the
apron again, for reasons I can't explain, but
Gallows drops to the outside beforehand. Kidd
suddenly teleports over to the SES apron, where he
sentons himself onto Gallows. I'd say that's
impressive, but Tommy Dreamer can do it..DH turns -
and Punk steals Yoshi Tatsu's finisher, hitting a
Roundhouse Kick to the head of DH, that gets two!
Punk pulls DH up, hits a few knees, then whips DH to
the corner. Punk rushes DH, only to get a Drop Toe
Hold into the second turnbuckle. I assume this was
done to taunt Raven into suing them again. From
here, Rey-Rey hits the 619 off the turnbuckle post!
Punk rebounds into DH - who nails him with the
Running Powerslam, for the win!
Winners:
The Hart Dynasty and Rey Mysterio
Rating: ***1/2
Very nice
match, and the finish gives it an extra half-point.
TO THE BACK~! where Chris Jericho is talking to
Wade Barrett. Jericho tells him he hopes that
someday, he gets the oppurtunity that Jericho is
getting tonight. He says that he'll be becoming
World Champion for the lucky number seventh time. I
have no jokes for that, so instead, have this gif.

COMMERCIALS
Commercial Thoughts - A
When we come back, NOT THOSE GUYS are in the ring,
and it's apparantly Caylen Croft in a singles match
tonight, against JTG. This match-up has potential,
but unfortunately I have a feeling that a certain
superheavyweight isn't going to let it last very
long..
JTG vs.
Caylen Croft
JTG and Croft circle in
the ring, and lockup. AND HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW, OUT
COMES SHAD! Caylen takes JTG down with a
clothesline, and stomps him down as Shad comes down
the ramp. Caylen whips JTG into the ropes, takes him
down with a Shoulder Block. Caylen takes JTG down
with some kind of Clothesline/Russian Legsweep
combo, that gets 2. Very nice. Shad says JTG ain't
nothin' without him. AIN'T NOT NOTHING BUT NOTHING.
JTG tries to fight back, but Caylen cuts him off.
Caylen puts JTG into a headblock, then takes him
down with a Back Suplex, that gets 2. Caylen pulls
JTG up - JTG gets an Inside Cradle, for two. Croft
continues beating onto JTG. Caylen tries for an
Irish Whip, goes for a Back Body Drop, but JTG
counters it with the slide-punch, Ala Goldust. JTG
then hits him with a Doubly-Spinning Neckbreaker.
That was as cool as it was needless. JTG ducks a
clothesline, hits the ropes for a flipping Shoulder
Block. JTG takes it Caylen, and goes for the corner
Facebuster, but Caylen shoves him off and nails a
Running Neckbreaker, for two. Caylen whips JTG to
the corner, only to get taken down with the Roll of
the Dice Neckbreaker, for the victoly.
Winner:
JTG
Match Rating:
**1/3
Good little match, but JTG gets no
time AT ALL to celebrate, as Shad immediately takes
JTG down with a MASSIVE Lariato. Shad then tells JTG
he ain't nothin' but nothing about 80 times, before
whipping him to the corner and going for the Idiot
Rush - only for JTG to counter with the Corner
Facebuster! JTG takes it to Shad and dropkicks him
to the outside! That..is not how I expected that to
go, but I can dig it!
TO THE BACK~! where
Edge has a conversation..with Josh Matthews? He
tells him he kind of relates to Swaggert, due to the
cashing in on MITB. He says that Swaggert's in a
tough position - and we talk of the usual "Don't
even have to be beat to lose their title" thing.
Edge says that he, however, is in a good position,
and the he will walk out with the title. This promo
brought to you by Generics Inc.
We see a
rundown of the Extreme Rules main event matches.
Jimmy Jack Swaggert's Rage Against The Machine
rip-off theme hits, and out he comes with his title
around his waist. I love how he lost any and all
enthusiasm after he won the title. Going into WM, he
was all "YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH IM GOING TO WIN MITB,
HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY", and then the moment he wins
the belt, he's all "fuck my life".
THREAT x3 - Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. World
Heavyweight Champion, Jimmy Jack Swaggert (Title on
the line)
We get a big-fight
announcement before the match. Jericho starts off
attacking Edge in the corner, Swaggert pushes
Jericho away and attacks Edge instead, but Jericho
with a roll-up, that Swaggert immediately gets out
of - and nails Jericho with a Belly-to-Belly that
looked like a Uranage Slam on impact. Edge attacks
Swaggert from behind as Jericho leaves the ring.
Edge whips Swaggert to a corner, but gets a knee.
Swaggert chokes Edge on the ropes, before whipping
him off the ropes, but Edge reverses and tosses
Swaggert to the floor. As soon as Swaggert hits the
ground, in comes Jericho to attack Edge, choking him
onto the ropes. Jericho goes for that..running move
on the ropes, that ends with him sitting on their
back, but Edge gets out of the way, causing Jericho
to bounc back to the mat. Edge with a few shots to
Jericho, goes for an Irish Whip, Jericho reverses,
and Swaggert trips Edge from the outside. Swaggert
gets into the ring, as Jericho hits the Guillotine
under the bottom rope. Swaggert attacks Edge, and
hits another huge Belly-To-Belly on him this time.
Jericho pulls Edge up, Swaggert and Jericho with a
Double Irish Whip. Edge holds onto the ropes.
Jericho rushes first, gets Back Body Dropped -
Swaggert rushes as well, Edge pulls the top rope
down, causing him to fall. Edge hits the ropes, for
a Baseball Slide that takes both men down. Edge
pulls Jericho up and throws him into the barricade.
Edge then takes it to Swaggert for a bit before
throwing him into the ring. Edge tries to follow,
but Jericho cuts him off and goes up to the apron,
where Swaggert attempts to suplex him into the ring.
Jericho fights back, and tries to suplex Swaggert to
the outside instead. Edge then comes in and trips up
Jericho, take him to the floor, and hot shotting
Swaggert onto the top rope. This being our lead-in
to COMMERCIALS
Commercial Thoughts - OH GOD
HOW I HATE COMMERCIALS INTERUPTING MATCHES
When we come back, Edge whips Swaggert into the
corner, goes for a Corner Spear, but Swaggert evades
it, leaving Edge to crash shoulder-first into the
post. Swaggert covers, for two. Swaggert takes Edge
up in an Armbar. Edge fights to his feet, and
bounces off the ropes. Edge ducks two clotheslines,
only to get taken down with a Backbreaker. Jericho
tries to re-enter the ring, but Swaggert knocks him
back off the apron, before nailing Edge with the
VADAH SPLASH~! This gets a nearfall. Swaggert takes
Edge to the corner and beats him into it, that ends
up taking him to the outside. Swaggert follows, but
Edge with a kick, rams Swaggert into the announce
table, only for Jericho to dash in with a
clothesline. Jericho pulls Edge into the ring,
steals Orton's finisher and punts him in the ribs.
Jericho takes up Edge and nails a Back Suplex, for
two. Jericho puts Edge in a Chinlock. The fans start
to rally, and Edge up to his feet, but Jericho cuts
it off, Irish Whips Edge into the corner, goes for a
Shoulder Block, but Edge evades and leaves him to
crash into the corner. Swaggert grabs Edge, tries
for an Oklahoma Slam, but Edge escapes out of the
back, and throws Swaggert headfirst into the ribs of
Jericho. Edge then goes up top, for a Flying
Clothesline on both of his opponents. Edge sends
shots to Swaggert and Jericho both, delivering big
boots to both of them, before taking Swaggert off
the apron, onto the announce table. Jericho rolls
Edge up for two, then hits him with an elbow that
takes him to the mat. Jericho goes for the
Lionsault, Edge rolls away, Jericho lands on his
feet - Edge nails the Edge-o-Matic, for two! Jericho
goes to the corner, Edge tries to rush him, Jericho
catches him with a boot, then goes for a Bulldog,
but Edge throws him into the corner. And now, Edge
stalks, as the crowd chants for the Flying Hug Of
Doom, but Jericho jumps over the FHOD, and rolls him
up - INTO THE WALLS OF JERICHO!
BAH GAWD,
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL COUNTER! TAP, DAMN YOU, TAP!!! Edge
fights to the ropes, but Jericho pulls him to the
middle! Swaggert comes in - and Jericho locks him
into the Walls as well! TAP, DAMN YOU, TAP!!!
Swaggert sqeals on the mat, clearly the only reason
he isn't tapping is because the awful pain left him
paralyzed! ..not that I'm biased, or anything. But
the Man of 1004 Teeth grabs Jericho, and hits him
with the Edgacution, to break the Walls! Swaggert
kicks Edge, goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Edge
counters with a kick of his own, and a second
Edgacution on Swaggert! Edge starts the stalk again,
as they chant for the FHOD! Edge goes for it, but
Jericho with a shoulderblock, for two! As soon as
Edge kicks out, Swaggert catches Jericho with an
Oklahoma Roll, for two. Jericho and Swaggert get up
at the same time - and Jericho catches him with the
Codebreaker!! Unfortunately for Jericho, Swaggert
falls out of the ring from this. Jericho's along in
the ring with Edge..and starts stalking for a FHOD
of his own! Jericho bumrushes - but Edge jumps over
the FHOD attempt, hits the ropes, and hits Jericho
with a FHOD of his own! NO! WHY?! Edge goes for the
cover, but Swaggert pulls him out of the ring, and
throws him into the barricade. Swaggert then rushes
in, and picks up the three, LIKE A BAWSS.
Winner:
Jimmy Jack Swaggert
Rating:
***1/2
Very well-paced and entertaining THREAT
x3.
Post-match, Swaggert takes Edge into the
ring, and nails him with the Doctor Bomb. As
Swaggert takes him time leaving, in comes Jericho to
assault Edge's injured ankle! Jericho takes Edge to
the steel post, and sticks Edge's left leg between
the post and the steps. Edge starts flailing in fear
like the little bitch that he is - Jericho with the
kick, crushing Edge's leg! Jericho smiles and backs
up the ramp LIKE A BAWSS, as the show ends.
Show Rating:
***
Another good edition of
SmackDown!, in my view.
The Good: Tough
choice between the main event and JTG taking it to
Shad - I'm a fan of JTG's, and am surprised to see
them give him an even shake in this feud. But I
guess I'll give it to the Triple Threat, but very
well done.
The Bad:
Nothing was particularly bad about this show..even
the divas match was one of the best women's matches
I've seen in the WWE. I guess, if I had to choose
something, I'd go with Kane/McIntyre.
The Ugly:
SmackDown! doesn't really have as many stupid
booking decisions as Raw does, to choose
from..Vickie being somewhat involved in the
McCool/James match, I guess?
Jordan Huie is an incredibly sweet
and innocent 16 year old, that's American by birth,
and Southern BAH THE GRACE OF GAWD! Some people call
him Zeel1. Some people call him TheYTViewer. Some
people call him Y2Z. Some people call him
Maurrriiice~! *Wah-wow!* His typical attire is a
combo of T-Shirts with Affliction-esque designs,
leather jackets, sunglasses, and Houndstooth
Fedoras, which he enjoys wearing, even with the
knowledge that it makes him look like Jimmy Hart's
rebellous grandson. His first contact with any other
living being was of a horse with a busted leg, who's
owner shot himself, because he couldn't bare the
weight of shooting said horse. Jordan, naturally,
named the horse "Lucky", and Lucky walked through
many mountains and valleys, despite his searing
pains, to bring Jordan to his parents. His parents,
in return, immediately shot Lucky, to show their
appreciation. It is beleived that this experiance is
what makes him the teenager he is today.