Hello, boys and indeed girls and welcome to week 2 of my Coverdown! Unfortunately
I'm a tad pushed for time this week so I'll skip foreplay (sorry, girls) and jump straight into it.
Before I begin
recapping the actually I'll give you a one second recap of the draft: Slkjdhaoduihsd. You may want to record it and slow it
down. Ah, re-using old jokes, is there any higher form of wit?
The show starts off with Raw highlights and talk about
the explosion instead of showing it. Then, oh yes, we get a ten count salute. Sweet Jesus, Sensational Sherri's family say
'thanks very much', But Bullfrog this was taped before she died! Your face was taped before she died, Italics Contradiction
Man. Then we get footage from a press conference about Vince's death and apparently the company will still go on. No word
on whether HHH took it seriously and immediately took his throne and sacked all but Ric Flair and Dave from the company.
BRIAN KENDRICK & PAUL LONDON vs. DEUCE & DOMINO
Kendrick takes it to the heels to start
then London comes in for the double drop kick. London's working the shoulder then tags Kendrick who continues the theme with
an axe smash. London's in and he dropkicks the shoulder. The story here is: Londrick is working the shoulder. Kendrick takes
both of them on but Deuce sends him to the floor. He jumps back up and gets suplexed in off the apron by Domino. Deuce is
tagged in and he hits some kicks then gets a modified armbar only to be kicked in the face. Domino's in to prevent Kendrick
from tagging but ends up getting hit with an enziguiri. Tags in London who takes down the champions. Domino and Kendrick outside
but London nails a springboard dropkick to Domino. Deuce then hits a surprise Crack Em for the win.
WINNERS: DEUCE &
William Regal and Teddy Long give their thoughts about Vince McMahon. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Apparently Vince
is the only American Regal every respected and the only guy who ever gave Teddy Long a chance. He was the only man who's ever
made me visibly sick by watching a television show (I never watched WCW, you see).
HARDY vs. WILLIAM REGAL
Lock up to stat and a headlock takedown from Hardy. Regal struggles to his feet but a shoulder
block lets Hardy get another takedown. Regal breaks the hold though and nails a forearm then applies a headlock of his own.
More back and forth action until Hardy gets a scoop slam then an elbow drop. Twist of Fate attempt ends up with Hardy getting
smacked in the mouth. Back body drop to Regal but he gets the advantage on the outside by throwing Hardy into the stairs.
They get back in the ring with Regal in control and Hardy attempts to battles back but gets caned with a knee to the back.
Modified Indian Stretch by Regal then another knee into the back. Hardy manages to flip Regal off and both men are now on
the mat. They struggle up and Hardy nails a Side Effect for a count of two. Splash by Hardy but the bulldog ends up being
a Regal backdrop. Tiger Driver attempt is countered by Matt for a two count but Regal manages to hang on and nails a Tiger
Driver after all but it just gets two. Both men get up and Regal charges at Hardy only to get the Twist Of Fate. Good match.
Jillian now gives her opinion on Vince McMahon. Wow, she is...she is articulate. Some phony reasons for
the explosion are given by Detective Cole. Chavo gives his thoughts on why it was good for McMahon to be a jerk. Yeah the
WWE has always been good to you hasn't it, Kerwin White.
BATISTA vs. MVP
Ric Flair giving Batista a pep talk backstage, because it's going to be Flair/MVP at Vengeance with the United States title
on the line. Batista uses power to get the early advantage. If I'm gonna be recapping Smackdown for a while, I may need to
get a keyboard shortcut for 'Batista uses power to get the early advantage'. Batista generally knocks MVP about a bit until
MVP rolls out of the ring and rungs around. Batista begins talking to the ref and MVP takes this opportunity to knock the
big man down. MVP beats him down in the corner. Batista kicks him and tries for the Batista Bomb but MVP runs out of the ring
as we go to commercial.
We return and both men are on the outside with MVP throwing Batista into those agonisingly
painful ringsteps. That thin layer of steel it, it does damage. Back in the ring and MVP misses the running boot. MVP manages
to regain the advantage, and gets a modified chin lock. Batista gets to his feet and hits MVP with a snapmare. Drop toe hold
and some elbows from MVP but he gets his head clotheslined off. Batista back in control and completely no sells the running
boot. DDT for two by MVP. Powerbomb attempt by Batista but its met with a dropkick. Into the corner goes Batista but MVP's
charge gets met with a spear and a Batista Bomb.
Sgt. Slaughter (why?) gives his thoughts on Vince
and so do Edge & Kristal. A press conference is shown with the 'lead investigators'. I'm seriously considering actually
killing Vince to see how they handle it now they've started this storyline.
"I know what we said before...that was just
a joke. This time, he is really dead. Seriously. Here's Sergeant Slaughter".
JAMIE NOBLE vs. JIMMY WANG YANG vs. SHANNON MOORE
Shannon Moore's lost his female Goldust look!
Why?! Who told him that was a bad idea?! Anyway Yang gets the roll up on Daivari but its broken up by Noble. Well if you cant
trust your fellow Jun Dragons who the fuck can you trust? Moore tosses Yang out of the ring and Daivari attacks Moore. Noble
gets a scoop slam on Moore then a plancha on Daivari. Moore gets a springboard thing on both of them. Yang's in and he hits
crossbodys on Noble and Daivari. Moonsault attempt by Yang but its stopped by Moore. Nobles up and a superplex type more to
Moore and Yang. Daivari's in and he goes for pins but nothing comes of it then he gets heel kicked by Noble. Moore gets a
Whisper in the Wind on Noble but gets sent out of the ring by Daivari. Yang goes up and hits a moonsault on Daivari for the
WINNER: JIMMY WANG YANG
Commercial break then straight into our final match of the evening.
EDGE vs. RIC FLAIR
Hey, isn't it funny that seemingly if you jump from RAW,
you automatically get thrust into the Main Event, no matter how low you were on the card there? It's as if they think RAW
is the top brand or something...
Anyway, Flair is in charge at first, chopping, and going to work on Edge's legs.
Edge bails out to the floor to regroup, and Flair follows him out and does, as he's done for 30 years straight, runs right
into a backbody drop. You'd think that wrestling through like 10 Presidential terms that he'd finally figure out that it's
a bad idea to aimlessly run towards a dude who's got his head lowered. Yet Flair does it repeatedly. Go figure.
Back in the ring, Edge goes to work, but since he's Canadian, he only makes 92
cents on the dollar, and drops a knee on Ric. I can only imagine how this looks to people channel surfing, trying to make
heads nor tails of a grandfather getting savagely annihilated. From there, Edge, sells the knee, but goes up top, but gets
caught with a big chop by Naitch on the way down. More chops by Naitch from there, followed by a knee drop of his own, followed
by more chops and a suplex. IT'S TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL! A school where they still use those little slate chalkboards that
hang around your neck, because, you know, he's kind of old. Figure four leglock applied by Naitch from there, but
here comes MVP to make the save and cause a disqualification! Poor MVP, he just gets done with Benoit and his brutal chops,
and now he has to transition to a guy with even stiffer ones. That's like going from the frying pan into... another really
old frying pan? I don't know.
WINNER: RIC FLAIR
After the match Edge spears Flair and pounds upon him.
Batista runs down to make the save, he takes out MVP but Edge spears him. Edge retreats looking most pleased with himself
as we go off air.
STEAK: Great match from Regal and Hardy.
KIDNEY: I hate the Vince McMahon death angle more than Lions hate Christians. And Lions HATE Christians.