1996

A year has passed and the Diesel experiment had completely failed, and as with every time some of Vince’s shit didn’t stick to the wall, he went back to Bret Hart as Champion. You see, in WWF lore, Bret is the loyal yet somewhat homely girlfriend that you always return to after flings with various tramps and whores go astray.

Anyway, even though Bret was WWF champion here (and successfully defended the title against Undertaker when Diesel caused a disqualification) the REAL star was again Shawn Michaels who in the midst of getting his biggest push, and was a lock to win the WWF Title. See, HBK was riding a sympathy wave and as a result “shworked” (equal parts shoot/work) the fans with a concussion. Shawn Michaels was really pulverized by a bunch of sailors outside a nightclub in Syracuse, reportedly pulled from his car while he slept, but the whole collapse on Raw with Owen Hart which was treated as “legit” was actually “bullshit” as the kids say these days. See, it was all a ploy to gain sympathy for babyfaced Michaels, and that way his inspiring Rumble win (which was his “return” to the ring) would be that much more impressive. And you know what? It worked. Everyone who didn’t subscribe to Da Meltz’s newsletter bought it hook, line and sinker. As was apparent by the countless swollen, tear-filled fat faces of so many obese teenage girls across the nation.

But first, there was the undercard. First things first we saw Jeff Jarrett return just long enough to go head to head with Ahmed Johnson,  the Pearl River Powerhouse (Porterhouse now. Dude got HUGE) who surely would have been a huge star if not for the fact that he made Mr. Glass from Unbreakable look like fucking Superman. Jarrett smashed a guitar over Ahmed’s head causing a DQ, then packed his bags for WCW soon after. From there, we saw the ONLY two teams in the WWF, The Smokin Gunns defeat Sunny’s (Tammy Sytch) Bodydonnas who had a work out gimmick ala Simon Dean (made hilariously ironic considering her shape these days. Then again, her fitno-powder was inhaled…)

From there, we had Razor Ramon defending the Intercontinental Title against Goldust, who was flanked by his then-wife Terri Runnels, who was then known as Marlena. Goldust would use “machinations” as Vince would describe, to throw off his opponents. And by “machinations” he meant groping his opponents and coming onto them. But then again, it is par for the course, really. It was only a matter of time before Dustin, a guy who has wrestled men with an erection for 15 years would be booked as a homosexual. Just saying. In any event, 123 Kid gets involved, and costs Razor the strap when he delivers a top rope spinkick.

Onto the Rumble itself, which unlike the previous year actually had a bit more intrigue to it as far as certain performers debuting/returning went. Also, in a trivial side note, this was the first year every wrestler who came down after the buzzer sounded got a snippet of their theme music played as they ran to the ring. (In previous years only the first two entrants had musical entrances.)

HHH draws number one (after losing via DQ to Duke Droese earlier that night. Yes that’s right, RVD, Booker T. and Jericho can’t beat HHH, but The Dumpster can.) Helsmsley was in the midst of a push that would be curtailed after the whole MSG incident in May but was the iron-man this night. Anyway, there was quite a few special entrants that year, including Doug Gilbert of USWA fame! Which is the equivalent of being announced as Joe nobody. Sorry it’s true. Also getting special slots were the Headhunters (picture twin Abdullah the Butchers…if they could moonsault) Japan’s Omori best known for…something, I’m sure, a returning Jake The Snake Roberts, who must’ve stopped drinking light beer, and a youngster named the Ringmaster that I’m sure never amounted to anything…

Also debuting this night was The Man they call Vader, despite Vince never telling us just who “they” were supposed to be. Vader had just finished up a stint in WCW, until he left the fold, as Paul Orndorff’s flip-flopped feet booted his ass out the door. Vader did some major damage in there, until he and Yokozuna butted heads. This was somewhat of a “dream match” because Vader and Yokozuna dominated their respective brands in 1993. HBK however, made his way out, and eliminated BOTH men. Nothing would stop HBK this night, be it fake knee injuries, or lost smiles, as he pitched out one man after another, before eliminating good friend/better enemy Diesel with a well timed superkick to win the whole thing and go onto to Wrestlemania 12 where he’d become WWF Champion. Michaels would then celebrate his monumental accomplishment by taking his trunks off (I wish I was kidding). WWE never explained who exactly this was supposed to appeal to. And if it was teenage girls, shame on you, Shawn. Every time I take my pants off for 16 year old girls I get arrested. Tough world.

1997

This Rumble was unique because it was the first and only housed in a large arena (the Alamo Dome.) The downside though was that they had to give away half the tickets to fill the arena….

They say everything is bigger in Texas, and they’re right if they meant a steaming nugget of shit, which this pay-per-view certainly was, bar the rumble itself.

On the undercard, they  had Vader squash a very fat Undertaker; a six man “Lucha style” match that I guess was supposed to launch WWF’s Lucha/cruiserweight hopes. (I’d get into Vince’s whole Super Astros debacle but it’s long and it’s boring. But let’s just say, Warrior isn’t the only guy who hates Mexicans now….)

From there we had reformed homosexual Goldust losing to HHH who was accompanied by a coked-out Mr. Hughes; Hughes would soon be replaced with a clean and sober Chyna (tee hee) and the rest would be history.

And finally, we had HBK regaining the WWF title from Sycho (get the “p” out) Sid. HBK would then forfeit the Title rather than job it back to Sid a month later after losing his “smile.” This abortion also caused Michaels to sit out Wrestlemania 13 where he was to return the favor for Bret Hart. Things worked out better though as we got Austin/Bret as a consolation.

Anyway, onto the rumble itself. Since the roster was pretty thin, almost everyone involved in the undercard participated in the Rumble match itself, but regardless this was a spotlight for one man: Stone Cold Steve Austin. The man of the hour, and certainly a far cry from the Ringmaster that floundered just one year before. Austin was hilarious as he systematically eliminated everyone in his path, then sat on the top rope and counted the clock down, awaiting his next victim. Well, until Bret Hart came in. Anyway, the final five in the ring ended up being Vader, Undertaker, Bret, Austin and New Diesel who is better known today as Kane. It was at this point that Bret dumped out Austin, while the referees argued with Terry Funk and Mankind who had just been eliminated. HOWEVER, the referees failed to see Austin get eliminated, and he re-entered, tipping out BOTH Vader and Taker, then eliminating Bret from behind right after Bret had dumped Diesel (and legitimately won the Rumble.) The referees then declared Austin the winner and Bret went crazy. This whole debacle would spawn a Final four Battle Royal match between Austin/Vader/Taker & Bret at the next In Your House PPV that was supposed to decide the number one contender to the Title at WM 13; However because of Michaels, it became a Title match which Bret won before dropping it right back to Sid the next night.

In retrospect it’s actually kind of hard to watch the way the Bret character was treated, especially when you consider everything he said was TRUE, yet, commentators branded him a crybaby anyway. This was especially frustrating after years of on-camera Vince crying over any injustice Hulk Hogan would befall.

1998

The WWF was a very different place just a year later, as the company was on the door-step of the soon-to-be-mega-successful Attitude era. Bret was off to WCW after being screwed worse then a prostitute with a metal snapper, and WWF as a result put all their eggs in Austin and Shawn Michaels respective baskets.

Speaking of Michaels, he and Taker would conclude their surprisingly awesome rivalry with a casket match which of course is secret WWE code for “way to job Taker out with really putting anyone over.”) The irony though is that one year prior Michaels lost his smile after the Rumble, another smile cost him everything….his vertical smile that is, as HBK takes an awkward choke-slam onto the casket, hitting his ass, tailbone and lower back, injuring himself severely, and in essence prematurely ending his WWF career( well, until 2002)

Anyway, Michaels retained his WWF Title against Taker on this night when Kane “turned” on his brother after a brief alliance. After the match, Kane lit the casket on fire. I too try this all the time, and surprisingly I never seem to get many invites to funerals anymore.

From there, Vader bested The Artist formerly known as Goldust; The LOD defeated New Age outlaws by DQ, seeking revenge for the Outlaws and DX shaving Hawk’s Mohawk!? The humanity! Shaving a bald man? How’d you ever live that down? Also, Rock used a big bag of monkeyshines to overcome Ken Shamrock and retain his intercontinental Title when the referee reversed the decision after catching Shamrock with brass knux (That were actually Rock’s) And to round things off there was a minis match.

But, the big story was the Rumble itself, and every participant gunning for Stone Cold (back when WWE actually knew when to let someone (in this case Austin) remain a tweener to keep their character fresh. cough*CENA*cough)

Other footnotes of this Rumble were Mick Foley portraying all three Faces of Foley in one match (Cactus Jack, Dude Love & Mankind), Mike Tyson sitting in the skybox with Vince cheering on “Cold Stone” (He’s apparently a HUGE fan of ice cream) and Austin sneaking through the crowd to enter the rumble while everyone’s back was turned.

Anyway, the finale sees Faarooq (who was technically the leader of Nation of Domination) get dumped out by fellow nation member, The Rock, leaving only Rocky & Austin. Austin then hands Rock his ass and eliminates him to move onto Wrestlemania 14 and his 1^st WWF Title. Mike Tyson  looks on and applauds Austin in his victory. The two later trade tips on the proper way to knock a wife completely unconscious. Ok, I may have made that last part up….

1999

Ah, 1999, Attitude is in full swing, and Vince Russo is booking angles so tastelessly shitty that even giving his heart to the Lord earlier last year likely won’t be enough to get his ass through the pearly gates.

Anyway, this particular Rumble was infamous for one match: The “I Quit” match for the WWF championship, featuring The Rock and Mankind, immortalized in the film Beyond the Mat for its brutality. The huge story here was not so much the finish (Mankind knocked unconscious, “submits” but in reality it’s a pre-recorded “I quit” from an earlier spoken promo) but the 10 consecutive unprotected chair shots Mick took from an overzealous Rock.

The undercard however left little to be desired. First Big Bossman defeated Road Dogg in a meaningless match. Ken Shamrock then kept the Corporation roll going by besting Billy Gunn during his 1^st aborted singles push. Val Venis also got involved in this match because of a silly side program that saw Val bed Shamrock’s “sister” Ryan. The funny part however was the fact that in real life, Ken Shamrock himself was dating Ryan. And even more surprising is that Vince Russo didn’t somehow spin that into an angle. From there Xpac successfully defended the European Title against Gangrel. Sadly, Gangrel could have spared us the indignity of having to watch Xpac make that porn video if only he had drained all the blood from Waltman’s body. And finally, we had a “strap match” between Luna and Sable, but I soon lost all interest when I found out they would be strapping on leather belts, and not rubber penises.

And now, the Rumble itself. This year had only one frontrunner, Stone Cold Steve Austin whom Vince decreed would enter at number one, however, Vince McMahon himself was entered in the fracas at number two, thanks to off and on commissioner, Shawn Michaels and a battle royale won by Chyna who received the coveted # 30 spot. But in a side note; for all the hoopla that goes with getting number 30, not one man who’s drawn that number has ever won the match.

The funniest thing about Vince in this deal was the Rocky-esque work out videos where Shane pushed Vinnie Mac to the limit. Lot of good it did Vince though, as Austin destroyed him and chased him backstage where the Corporation waiting and beat down Austin leaving the audience to believe Austin was eliminated (neither he nor Vince were) The match carried on, and Vince eventually made his way back down to the commentator’s desk. One funny note that still breaks me up to this day, featured HHH quite obviously audibly yelling to Val Venis: “If I throw you over can you hold on?” Anyway, Austin eventually makes his way out and McMahon avoids his wrath until he dumps out Big Bossman, leaving only Vince and Austin. Stone Cold destroyed Vince until New WWF Champion, The Rock interfered, distracting Austin long enough that Vince dumped Austin out and won the Rumble! Rock gets the $100,000 bounty as a result. Oh, did I mention there was a $100,000 bounty on Austin? Fucking Russo and his overbooking.

2000

This was arguably the greatest over-all WWF PPV of the Attitude era until Wrestlemania 17 rolled around.

Unlike most years, the undercard was incredibly solid, as Tazz defeats Kurt Angle in his WWF debut with the Tazzmission. Ah, Tazz, you’ll at least always have this moment. From there, The Hardys defeat the Dudleys in the companies first ever Tables match...you know, back when the concept was fresh. The match was SO good that it catapulted the two teams (plus Edge and Christian) into a three way rivalry that saw the best tag team wrestling since the Harts and The Bulldogs 14 years before. From there, Chris Jericho managed to regain the Intercontinental Title over Chyna and Bob Holly. Jericho and Chyna were actually co-champions for about a month leading into this before Y2J thankfully ended the ridiculousness. And in retrospect how ridiculous is the Chyna push, anyway? I can picture at least half the locker room cringing watching Joey Buttafuoco undo all their hard work in one 3 round boxing match. Also, in a filler match, New Age Outlaws defeated The Acolytes who had just discovered the joys of protecting people for money but had yet to officially label themselves the A.P.A.  And of course there was the Royal Rumble swimsuit competition, featuring a ring full of women with more plastic parts than my entire vintage 1982 He-Man set. Well, except Mae Young who pulled a page from the movie “There’s something about Mary” and had prosthetics over her exposed breasts (thank God).Thankfully, this was where the “Mary” homage ended, as I’m glad they didn’t follow suit and have someone come out with a blob of cum in their hair. (Although with guys like Bradshaw running around, you can’t tell me it’s never happened...)

Finally, on the undercard side, there was the match that made HHH a star, as he and Cactus Jack battled in a street fight. Brutal stuff, with both men at their absolute best. Ending sees HHH retain his WWF title by pedigreeing Foley face first on thumbtacks. A total rub by Mick here, and the official point where Trips went from lame duck champion to credible.

Then we had the Rumble itself. Everyone knew The Rock was going over, but the card was so good, we didn’t care. Anyway, a lot of filler in here, but eventually, the final two are Big Show and The Rock. Rock of course eliminates Show to *officially* win the rumble, but footage shown on Raw would show that Rock’s feet actually touched the floor first, giving Show an out to eventually get into the Wrestlemania main event (along with Hunter, Foley and Rock.)

2001

Another solid offering here; Not quite as good as 2000 overall (in my opinion at least) but VERY close.

Here was yet another case where the undercard RULED all kinds of ass. First, The Dudleys cleanly regained the Tag team Titles by defeating E & C. From there, Chris Jericho won the IC title from Chris Benoit in probably the most unheralded ladder match ever; and one that brought the concept back to actual believable psychology, as opposed to just the insane bumping it had became synonymous with. Chyna then worked a match with then-women’s champion, Ivory. This was at the point where Chyna was desperately trying to be sexy, and had even done a spread in Playboy…and not penthouse, thankfully, because let’s just say, “the man in Chyna’s boat” must have a case of gigantism if you know what I mean *shudder* Anyway, Chyna dominated, but miffed a handspring elbow and was “paralyzed” and pinned by Ivory. Ross and Lawler use their Owen Hart voices soon after to convince us this was not a work.

The WWF championship match was unique, if only because both Angle (the Champion) and HHH were both heels. HHH had Stephanie in his corner and Angle countered with Trish. This was a very good match, but the crowd didn’t really know who to cheer for (although they leaned more towards Trips) the finish saw the obligatory ref bump, and Steve Austin runs in and stuns Trips allowing Kurt to win the match and retain the Title.

Anyway, the rumble itself for the 1^st time since arguably 1990 wasn’t predictable, as TWO men had an equal shot to take it all, and those two men were Steve Austin & The Rock. Everyone else were just plot devices in their way. However, one of those “plot devices”, Kane, got quite the little monster push here, setting the all time elimination record in the process. The final four ends up being Kane, Austin, Rock and BILLY GUNN, but he had no chance here, ‘cause who in their right mind would ever PUSH Billy Gunn??…oh wait. Anyway, Kane surprisingly eliminates Rock but eats Austin’s wrath of overbooked chair shots and one clothesline later... Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold! [/JR Voice]

Other notes: Undertaker and Kane reunited for the millionth time after feuding for the millionth time, and the Austin and Kurt Angle *wins* here made people believe that WWF had changed their Wrestlemania booking plans altogether (they didn’t). Rock would defeat Angle one month later and the two would meet at WM 17 where Austin would turn heel. And although it marked Austin’s renaissance as an interesting character, it may have been the catalyst for WWF’s eventual downturn.

2002

With the Invasion angle now in the proverbial shitter, Vince and company attempt to move forward. However, their first order of business is to cut the legs out from Undisputed Champion, Chris Jericho, which was terrible idea because he’s only about 5’8” anyway. All kidding, aside, Jericho’s reign was treated as a joke from the word “go”, and even though he had an excellent match with Rock here (Jericho retained by pinning Rocky with his feet on the ropes), he still felt like a lame duck champion. Of course the worst was still yet to come….

The undercard was mediocre at best, but had its moments. First, Tazz & Spike Dudley successfully defended their Tag team Titles against the Dudleys when Tazz choked out D-Von. I liked this team of Tazz & Spike, and used to always equate them to the speech Jerry & George had on Seinfeld about uniting to create the perfect boyfriend: “We don't have it. But maybe the two of us, working together at full capacity, could do the job of one normal man. ...”

From there Trish Stratus continued her transition from really hot manager to really hot wrestler, successfully defending her Women’s title against Jazz. William Regal utilized the power of the punch to unseat Edge of his Intercontinental Title, and finally, Ric Flair utilized the power of the paunch to defeat fellow co-owner (at the time, Flair “owned” 50% of the WWF) Vince McMahon. However, the funniest part of this feud was seeing Vince dress up in full Nature Boy attire in the promo package, complete with wig. The match held up surprisingly well, but it was Ric Flair we’re talking about, the same man who once made El Gigante look like he could actual move his body. Vince too can always be counted on to put on an at least entertaining, albeit not technically masterful performance.

The Rumble itself was entirely HHH’s baby, as the returning cerebral assassin was odds on favorite to take the whole thing. However, there were still several markout moments. First the priceless look on Undertaker’s face after Maven dropkicked him out, followed by Hurricane’s attempt to double chokeslam Hunter and Austin simultaneously, with HHH and Austin just looking at one another with a perplexed look before dumping Hurricane. The last for me was the return of MR. PERFECT, who got a HUGE pop. I just can’t tell you how much I marked out when he caught Kurt Angle with a perfect-plex. Anyway, the final four came down to Austin, HHH, PERFECT(~!) and Kurt Angle who vowed to win the Rumble to add to his list of career accomplishments. Anyway, Austin gets dumped by Angle, and Perfect was next by HHH, as I picture Hennig muttering  “But...I helped you win your first ever title!…and even gave you your name!”  This just left HHH and Angle to battle, and after teasing the Shawn Michaels finish (no not threatening to walk out if you don’t win) HHH dumps Angle to win the Rumble and go onto Wrestlemania 18 where he captured the Undisputed Title. Lucy the Dog would be so proud.

2003

They used to always say you can remember where you were the day Kennedy was shot, but since I wasn’t even sperm yet, I’ll retort with this. You’ll always remember where you were the day Scott Steiner and HHH battled in the WORST World title match in WWE history. And where I was, was right in front of my TV, thinking of whether a blunt shot to my skull with my All in one remote could end my life and stop the pain. However, thankfully, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit much like Anakin Skywalker, were there to bring back balance to the force. The two would put on a 5 star classic that still ranks in my all-time top 5 matches ever. (Kurt retained via submission),

However, if catch as catch can wrestling was not your bag, or you didn’t exactly rally behind HHH and Scott Steiner out-gaying each other in a slew of homoerotic posing contests designed to prove who the bigger man was… by convincing us that they were the complete opposite of that… then there was the undercard:

First, to even get into the Rumble match, Brock Lesnar had to get past Big Show…the same man who handed him his first defeat and took his WWE title in the process. Brock would defeat Show, who wore a pair of his best slacks for the occasion, with an F-5. But seriously, what was the reason Show briefly switched to pants? Maybe it’s the equivalent of the fat girl in a pool with a t-shirt? I don’t know.

From there, The Dudleys regained the Tag team Titles by defeating William Regal & Lance Storm, and Torrie defeated her “mother in-law,” who fucked her father to death, Dawn Marie. We can all only hope to go the same way.

Anyway, the Rumble was next, and the big story here (besides Lesnar earning his spot) was HBK and Jericho starting at positions one and two respectively. However, Jericho in hilarious fashion, screwed HBK over and attacked him with a chair from behind, quickly eliminating him. Jericho surprisingly would start to get the fans behind him, until Test of all people eliminated him. What happened to Canadian unity, eh? Anyway, everyone knew Lesnar was bringing this thing home, and that’s exactly what he did, at the expense of Undertaker, who manages to lose at virtually every Rumble PPV, yet never really put anyone over. Genius.

Anyway, this was a PPV that simultaneously displayed how, and how not to book a pay-per-view. Unfortunately, WWE progressed with the opposite build, curtailing Benoit’s push, even though the Bean town crowd giving him a standing-O. While HHH and Scott Steiner got to get another ppv payoff, despite the fact that their match stunk and the crowd turned on it faster than a guy wearing an “All you need is Cock” t-shirt to a feminist rally. Sometimes life just isn’t fair.

2004

2004 was a year where things were finally looking up. Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit were being elevated, and the old guard was seemingly passing the torch. But, whew, what a difference a year makes, eh? We’re right back to where we started. I kinda feel like a guy who survived cancer but gets hit by car as he’s leaving the hospital. We just can’t win.

Anyway, regardless of how things ultimately turned out, we’ll always have the 2004 Royal Rumble…the best booked Rumble EVER.

First things first, Batista & Ric Flair successfully defend their Tag team championship against the Dudleys in a Tables match. And as much as Big Dave has improved today to the point where he’s the darling of the internet, last year he was more wooden than a medieval dildo, as his stiff work earned himself the nickname “Pseudo Sid” from many writers online. The match was surprisingly short to boot, but we’d find out why soon enough.

Rey Mysterio defeated Jamie By Gawd Noble…back when he still wore pants…and had a job… to retain the cruiserweight Title, when Blind Nidia’s “interference” backfired.  And yes you heard right. Blind Nidia. You remember,right? She was visually impaired by Tajiri’s “mist?” (I think I saw this same thing on a porno bloopers video.) Anyway, Noble would use her blindness to his benefit MANY times, before Nidia began *accidentally* costing him matches. But who needs that? As far as I’m concerned, the only useful blind person is "Daredevil", and even he's imaginary.

Eddie Guerrero squashed Chavo Guerrero/accompanied by CHAVO CLASSIC(~!) clean with a frog splash in another short match. Not much to this one, which was disappointing, but marked for Chavo Classic anyway because he reminded me of Cheech Marin….only he could moonsault! Who says pot makes you lethargic!

And then…there was arguably the WORST World Title program in WWE history. (Brock Lesnar Vs. Hardcore Holly)This entire throw away program was built around Bob Holly seeking revenge on Lesnar for breaking his neck. To me, they always had the roles reversed in this one, as it was Holly’s own fault it happened in the first place when his stubborn ass sand-bagged on a powerbomb and Lesnar basically said “fuck it.” I never understood why we were supposed to feel sorry for him. I always compared it to a guy who kicked a pit bull in the balls then complained later when he got mauled. But more than anything else, this feud was stupid because it was BOB FUCKING HOLLY WRESTLING FOR THE WWE TITLE. What, they couldn’t suit Kwang up, or get Frankie through customs fast enough so Koko B. Ware could finally get his shot? The sad fact is that no one in history has been more of a lame duck challenger to a World Champion EVER in PPV history, and this includes the Patriot. In fact, the only way Lesnar could have logically been in ANY trouble is if Bob got behind the wheel of his Talladega race car and ran over Brock with it. Even then, it’d only buy Holly about 30 seconds before Lesnar dusted himself off and murdered “Spark Plugg.”  Ya, Lesnar won. But he also left the WWE a month and a half later. Thanks WWE.

Then we had the REAL main-event, and the real reason  why the matches required more shaving than an Italian girl in the Summer time: HHH and HBK NEEDED all the time to tell their story… which is the best one in the EVAR!!!11 in case you didn’t know. Anyway, I remember a time when Shawn Vs. Hunter was a dream match that I thought we’d never see. That was about 6 pay-per-view matches ago. Still, the match at the Rumble under “last man standing” rules was quite good, but it had one of the worst finishes in recent history when neither man could answer the count, calling the bout a “draw.” However as hollow as this cop-out finish was, it in part at least allowed us to see a five-star match at Wrestlemania XX (along with Benoit) so I’m not complaining.

Ah, then, the Rumble match itself. And one of the least predictable in recent history. We all had a hunch Benoit would win, but none of us really knew if WWE had the balls to really go through with it. And this is what set this Rumble apart from others in recent years, as there were several probable choices to choose from. For one, we knew Lesnar and Brock would be meeting at Wrestlemania, but we didn’t know how the company would go about it. Lesnar was still WWE champion, so could Goldberg win the Rumble and jump to SD to challenge Brock? Also, after weeks of tormenting Kane, we all thought Undertaker would show up (he didn’t) but the intrigue was still there. And finally, the surprise entrance of Mick Foley and his subsequent elimination of arch-rival Randy Orton was one of the year’s true markout moments. All in all this was the greatest, most emotional Rumble match ever (just barely edging out ’92) as Benoit would ultimately prevail, using his leverage on the apron to choke Show out of the ring and go onto make history at Wrestlemania. AWESOME stuff.

Anyway, this takes us to this year’s event. This year, I think it’s safe to assume that the bulk of fans out there are pulling for Batista to get the job done and go on to Wrestlemania 21 and HHH. But what surprises are in store for us tomorrow, if any? Will there be any surprise entrants? Will the WWE  go with another darkhorse choice? Or will they stick with a safe bet? This is what makes the Rumble a time-tested winning formula. I for one am stoked.

I’m Sean.