By James Walker and Joe Merrick. In light of the recent
RVD & Sabu drug bust, TWF’s own Joe Merrick & James Walker felt it necessary to discuss such events on MSN. Below are their thoughts. Joe:
I seriously want to see that court proceedings James:
*Sabu triple jumps into the stand* Joe:
RVD: You remember a time, where RVD had a vocabulary of more than dude, and whatever? Well now it looks like I need to learn
'Guilty!' James:
I can see the judge about to make his ruling, and sabu just throws a chair at him Joe:
Fonzy jumping about with a whistle Joe:
imagine the witnesses James:
Beulah: IT'S TOMMY'S!!! Joe:
Tazz: Well...here comes the sentence! James:
Justin Credible: That's not the greatest.. that's not the best. That's Justin Credible...ly large amount of jail time! Joe:
Lawyer: Mr Heyman, will you please come to the stand...Mr Heyman are you crying? Heyman: No, I was just
smoking a joint in the back with RVD...oh shit RVD: Way to go, you fat
fuck Joe:
'I got two words for you...NOT FREAKIN GUILTY' James:
Next ECW PPV: "Barely Legal... in 17 states" Joe:
Lawyer: So, Mr. Brunk, what do you have to say for yourself? *Sabu Points upward* Everyone: Huh? *Looks* *Lights go out, and Sabu
runs out of the courtroom* James:
Fonzie: "I'm declaring the chokeslam legal for one night only!" Judge: "You know, we're
probably just going to fine them..." Joe:
Joey: I AM SICK OF YOU JURORS BUYING INTO THIS COURT CASE....AND SEMEN James:
Judge: State your name for the record. Balls Mahoney, and the
jurors: Balls, Balls, Balls, Balls... BAAALLLLS! Joe: brings his own witness
chair to sit in James: Joe:
Sabu goes to shake RVD's hand but RVD walks out James:
RVD brings in the MITB briefcase, and defends himself with his educated feet. Joe:
Lawler is..no wait, they wouldn’t let him in James:
He'd hang around the juvenile court room James:
Lawyer: Exhibit A! This bag of marijuana I hold before my face was found in Mr. Szatowski's vehicle - *RVD spin kicks it into
his face* Joe:
no wait, he thinks its Cena, so he misses completelyROB VAN DAMNED
Joe Merrick is NOT
AN ANIMAL. So enough of the Elephant man business, and more about what he is: winner of the 2005 Satire Search, after defeating
literally DOZENS of hopefuls to become TWF's top British writer. He also hunts emos for sport.
TWF FLASHBACK
November 2006
SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!
With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).
POPULAR UPDATES
SATIRE: WWE's Discontinued X-Mas Products
DVD Review: End Game, Starring Kurt Angle
50+ Random Star Wars Lines You Can Use In The Middle Of Sex To Hilarious Results
CLASSIC SATIRE: ECW Goes Sci-Fi
Stephen Rivera's 4th Fall: Introduction
Broken News: U.S. Hero with Golden Trunks Becomes Homeless Man
When Wrestling Merchandise Goes Bad: WWE Finger Rings
CLASSIC SATIRE: Guess Who's HHHaving a Baby?
Broken News: WWE Pro Grappling "Gentle Giant" Reunited with Estranged Son
TWF Entertainment: VH1's 40 Greatest Celebrity Feuds
The WWE Developmental Rookie Name Generator
Wacky TV Recapitation: Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling
BACON'S BIGTIME PPV REPORT OF NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS & SUCH.
VIDEO SATIRE: 'Til Death Do Us Part!
SATIRE: WWE Acquires the History Channel!
Sean Carless's WRESTLING WITH MANIA
CLASSIC SATIRE: RAW is STAR WARS!