Benoit and Edge have a hastily put together Last Matt....I mean, Man Standing match.
(That was my one and ONLY Matt/Edge joke. I have my reasons)
This has the capacity to be a show stealer, along with
Jericho/Benjamin, but, there hasn't really been much hype towards it. At Mania, Edge squished Benoit's arm, and did it again
on Raw. That, with a brawl or two, leads us to a LMS match? There should have been more build up. But, that can't happen,
because it would take away from the HHH show. He isn't the champ, and he STILL gets all the TV time.
Granted, the
last Batista segment was amazing. As one writer would have put it, "I love shoot comments that aren't supposed to be shoot
comments."
Batista has improved GREATLY, even in the short time since I have dis-graced the halls of the Fan. At one
point in time, I said he was a 'roided up freak, with no personality. Now, I been shown different. His character has gone
beyond the one-dimensional monster, but, again, it can only go so far before HHH pisses down his back,and tells him it's raining.
There is really no other way to do it. There is no one available to fill a main event position. HHH killed them all.
So, the title goes back to HHH, and we have him squash everyone for another year, and we get told that is the best for the
business.
Sure.
Speaking of killing, it is no secret that I want the Big Show to go crazy and just kill everyone.
Going with the fatal four way tonight, he has been killed off again. Once again, there has been no retribution for his head
getting shaved, for his girlfriend getting kidnapped, or any of the indignities that has befallent the Giant. Personally,
if I was WIght, I would start throwing my weight around and start MAKING people respect me.
Now, back to Raw, Kane
vs Mark Henry....I mean, Viscera. Is that REALLY PPV worthy?
Sorry, but didn't you think the Vis/Trish date was a
little TOO reminiscent of Henry/Chyna?
Why, oh why, are the WW just rehashing really crappy old storylines and gimmicks?
Again, speaking of old gimmicks, we now have Buh Buh Ray Dudley, Version 2. A.K.A. M-M-M-M-M-Matt Morgan. IF anyone
remember the old ECW, you would remember that Buh Buh started with the stuttering gimmick. After Mongo Vyle, of course.
Once
again, Eddie vs. Rey will grace our screens.
SD, though a bit more entertaining, is really running out of things to
do. How many Cena/Booker matches did we have to sit through? And that was BEFORE the "Best of" series. Now, Rey/Eddie is the
match of the month....literally. Rey is already boasting a 4-0 streak over Eddie, meaning, in recent history, Rey and Eddie
have faced off 4 times. Even holding a match at Mania. Now, they will go at it....AGAIN!!!!
Jibble has "earned" his
way into the number one spot, and I hope this just ends with Cena beating JIbble with a sound beating, then going on to lose
the title to Angle. Have the feud end with Angle coming out on top, then Show has a turn. Give it to Taker one more time before
he retires. Even if it is just his classic one month reign. Then, give it back to Cena, have him feud with Jibble again.
See
the stories? At least SD has a couple of near-credible main eventers. Raw has HHH and HHH's opponent this month. Poor Raw.
Now, again, it is no secret that I am/was a hardcore (pun half intended) ECW mark. Now, with the ECW came the
Triple Threat.
Part of the Threat is gone for good. My condolences to the family of Chris Candido. Let's just hope
Tammy grieves enough to get thin, then she can be single again. And, ya know, bereavement sex is just about the best there
is!
Okay, that was wrong. But, I don't give a shit.
In all seriousness, that was a shocker, finding out about
Candido. I was watching Lockdown, and saw the break. Then, I open my browser to find out he is dead. Broken Sunday, operation
Monday, dead Thursday. Talk about a bad week!!!
Shit like that hits hard to someone like me. Candido was 4 years older
than me. Imagine dying of a simple staph infection at 33. Jesus.
Austin has gone through it, with his elbow. Taker
went through one in his forearm. Nash is going through one in his leg. And Candido dies from it. Fuck.
What really
pisses me, is that it killed the only TALENTED one of the bunch. (Yes, that was a knock against Taker. Enjoy it, it doesn't
happen often)
I am in the midst of re-taping all my old ECW stuff. Just like Owen, Crash, Rocco Rock, and the others,
I will look at Candido with new eyes for a while.
Anyway, I am signing off for this week. I have a head cold, and
that amount of thinking I have just done has just about worn the shit out of my Advil and Benalyn. (Hey, who knew you couldn't
take Benalyn while taking depression medication? What a trip!)
Until next time, consider yourself Purified.....through
PAYNE!
TWF FLASHBACK
November 2006
SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!
With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).
POPULAR UPDATES
SATIRE: WWE's Discontinued X-Mas Products
DVD Review: End Game, Starring Kurt Angle
50+ Random Star Wars Lines You Can Use In The Middle Of Sex To Hilarious Results
CLASSIC SATIRE: ECW Goes Sci-Fi
Stephen Rivera's 4th Fall: Introduction
Broken News: U.S. Hero with Golden Trunks Becomes Homeless Man
When Wrestling Merchandise Goes Bad: WWE Finger Rings
CLASSIC SATIRE: Guess Who's HHHaving a Baby?
Broken News: WWE Pro Grappling "Gentle Giant" Reunited with Estranged Son
TWF Entertainment: VH1's 40 Greatest Celebrity Feuds
The WWE Developmental Rookie Name Generator
Wacky TV Recapitation: Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling
BACON'S BIGTIME PPV REPORT OF NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS & SUCH.
VIDEO SATIRE: 'Til Death Do Us Part!
SATIRE: WWE Acquires the History Channel!
Sean Carless's WRESTLING WITH MANIA
CLASSIC SATIRE: RAW is STAR WARS!