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The following was inspired by this legitimate story that Owen Hart is haunting Kemper Arena as The Blue Blazer. Only, like I'm wont to do, I've taken the whole thing to a whole new disturbing level of absurdity. If one person laughs, then feels horrible, I've done my job. This is a VIDEO PARODY~!, but reads like a standard TWF satire, only it's done so in video format to allow for the truly huge animation files contained within. However, the corresponding text is timed, so depending on your reading speed, you may have to pause the video at certain parts.

 

But the payoff animations at the end make it all worthwhile. Trust me. And they pretty much guarantee that, unlike Owen, I won't be spending my afterlife in an air conditioned arena, but will probably wish that I was, 'cause it'd come in pretty fucking handy where I'm going...
 
THE HAUNTING 2: OWEN A LIVING.
 
I'm Sean.
 
And hopefully all that reading was worth that Slimer payoff....
 
 
Sean Carless is a man of many hats. And he wears those hats to cover an ever-increasing bald spot. Sean's various scribblings have been read at Live Audio Wrestling, 411 Mania, Honky Tonk Man.com, The Toronto Star.com, Wrestlecrap, and Lethal Wrestling. He has also cured AIDS.

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TWF FLASHBACK

November 2006

SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!

by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).