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by Malcolm Not in the Middle


Hello people, and welcome to... well its not THE rant, but an amazing simulation. I'm actually writing in today in regards to one James Swift, the man who had the guts to come onto TWF and say "CM Punk sucks". I'm writing to rebut this claim.

Now I want to make something very clear. That column that Swift wrote last week was an editorial, or an opinion piece. What I'm writing here today is just to give another perspective on this situation; as there should be one. While James could see my points as valid and even agree with all of them, he's still going think this angle is the shits and he's entitled to his opinion. I think he's wrong, but that's MY opinion.

First thing I have a problem with, believe it or not... Who the hell is writing to the "MMA Guy" about wrestling? Seriously, we have at least three other people who actively cover wrestling... but you go to the guy who pretty much starts his columns with "Wrestling sucks"? Don't get me wrong, I love his stuff on MMA and look forward to all of them... but I don't understand what people were expecting there.

I'll start things off with what is for me a really big point. See Jame's column lost a lot of steam for me at the end of his second paragraph when he said:

...After the tenth e-mail I got praising the storyline, I decided to hit up the YouTube and do some research on this year’s biggest angle ever...

As as he said, he recently saw this whole angle on youtube... as soon as he typed that, he admitted he completely missed the point of this angle. Sorry Swift, but you lost your right to comment. If you weren't there for Punk's promo on 6/27 (where he "went off script"), then you won't understand. If you weren't watching the contract negotiation, enjoying what you thought was CM Punk's final RAW promo then you will never understand. If you weren't there at Money in the Bank, soaking in the Chicago crowd's energy, and having no idea what would happened... Then no, James Swift will never understand why this was was awesome.

Its storytelling 101. If the other guy goes into a story knowing what's going to happen, then there is no suspense. If there is no suspense, there is no excitement. If the guy has no excitement, he's going to be bored out of your fucking mind. Going into the viewing, James knew Punk wasn't gone, would win in Chicago, and his rematch at Summerslam. There was no suspense, therefore it killed a of what was so enjoyable with that angle. So no kidding James found it boring.

See, thats why a lot of people liked that angle. For once we had no idea what was going to happen. For once, it wasn't a case of an obvious Cena victory taking place at a PPV, we had actual drama and suspense going in. I dunno how many years its been since we had something like that from a PPV, and for once... I felt like I had to see what happens at a PPV. And WWE has to be commended for doing that.

As for the match itself, I can't disagree with James certain things. Yes, they botched a few moves. CM Punk, the Best in the World, couldn't land on his feet from an Attitude Adjustment. What an asshole. In defense of the match, if your gonna downplay the entire match just for a few botches, I think thats really unfair. Truth be told, I commend the match a lot for being as great as it was despite the botches. In fact, I thought Cena and CM Punk conducted themselves amazingly, and made something really awesome.

As far as this match being a "good" and not worth the five star rating, are you kidding? And "mildly above average"? If you can look at match, and tell me honestly that its three stars at best... perhaps its your own standards are that are way too high? Look in my opinion, the definition a "Five Star Match" is different. Yes, the match itself plays a part, but there is more to it than that. First you have the build, which was fantastic. I don't care or not if its been done before; the whole "My contract is up, and I'm taking the belt with me" angle was done really well. The fact that the angle could go in so many ways actually had me wondering for once what was going to happen on a PPV (as well as Punk's amazing promos). Would WWE play it safe or take a risk? That became the overlying theme for the match, and I had to see it play out. The storyline was interesting too, with Punk revealing what was wrong in the company in his own unique way. We can talk about wrestling all we want, but at the end of the day, wrestling tells stories, and the build up told a great one. The match was great as well.

The crowd (As James mentioned) deserves a lot of credit for making that match as memorable as it is. Tell me the last time you heard a reaction like that. That was beyond a "Hometown Pop". Punk was damn near a god that night. Their reaction to not only Punk, but Cena as well made that night as well.

As for the match itself, I have really no complaints. Yes there were botches, but they recovered from them fine. As for the acting, I honestly don't see the problem. I bought that Punk hated Vince, and I bought that Cena wanted to do the right thing. What more do you want in a match honestly? They went for 45 minutes, there was plenty of nearfalls, and times I thought either guy had it, and Cena actually did more than five moves. It was hands down the best Cena match of all time. I know, thats REALLY not much of an accolade, but it was a great match on his part.Both guys went outside their regular moveset in fact.

Finally, the ending...which shocked the hell out of me. I honestly didn't think they'd have the guts to do it, but they did it. Punk not only won, but won CLEAN. I then expected Del Rio to simply cash in that that would be that. But Punk escaped... with the belt. Setting up an angle that would be talked about for a long time. I marked out. I marked out so hard, I almost cried. Wrestling had become stale and it was a welcome change. When someone comes up to me and asks about either my top 5 favorite wrestling moments/matches, this will spring up.

I saw some of the matches that James posted. I ain't disagreeing with them being good matches, but I can't accept them as 5 star matches. Reason? By dinner time today, I will have forgotten about them. Someone asks me my favorite matches/moments, they will not spring to mind. While they are good, they have nothing memorable about it aside from being good matches. Punk and Cena not only did a great match but had an amazing story going into and out of it. Five star matches are more than just matches, they give you memories as well.

Yes, I'm enjoying the story post-MITB story too. Yeah, that tournament was a waste of time, but I'm enjoying the choice fans now have with Punk and Cena. Once again, I don't know who's going to win at the PPV.

As far as CM Punk being overrated... eh, thats James' opinion which I disagree with. I would ask if he ever saw any of the best of 3 series between Punk and Samoa Joe, which include two 60 minute broadways; as those are pretty great examples of Punk's ability. As for him stealing people's moves, dude its Prowrestling. Everybody has a move in their set that was taken. Sure Punk took the GTS from Kenta, but I doubt Kenta came up with the STF, Cloverleaf, or DVD that's in his moveset.

There is one thing point however that I will comply disagree with, and its why I was so descriptive in this rant. My issue is the belief that this Punk angle is so big thanks to hype... Come on! When I marked out at MitB, it wasn't because a website told me to. Saying this angle is only popular because we were told to is crazy. Is it really that hard to believe that this is a good angle? That its popular only because of brainwashing? Its a great angle, simple as that. Is it really that hard to believe that many people got so much joy out of it? I've gone through every aspect that I loved about this angle, while keeping my biased towards Punk to a minimum. Not all people are being "lead" to like this angle. For some people, ITS THEIR CHOICE.

In conclusion, I will say this. Wrestling is different for everyone. What I said about 5 star matches is my opinion. James isn't wrong in being a wrestling purist. If thats how he enjoys wrestling, then awesome. Thats why I collect ROH DVDs. Just because those matches weren't memorable to me, doesn't mean they ain't for James. Wrestling is a big world, and there are many ways to enjoy it. There is no shame in enjoying the Punk angle, and I invite those who do to enjoy the ride. For those who don't and dig Dragon Gate, ROH, and Chikara; all the power to ya.

There is no wrong way to enjoy this sport...


Good evening, listeners!

Yes, yes, I know we're late this week, sorry about that...BUT! We are now featured exclusively on TheWrestlingFan.com!

This week Malcolm and Adam (no Sean, he's on vacation) cover last week's Raw (but not last night's, that'll be next week) and SmackDown, Amazing Red leaving TNA, Rey Mysterio and his busted wheels, the WWE releases this week, and SummerSlam Predictions.


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November 2006


by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).