WWE NXT RANT
March 1, 2011
Hello people and welcome to the rant. My apologies for the lateness, but lets just say I’ve been at war with the Flu that has been going on for a while. I’ve just now regained the ability to sit in front of a computer screen for long enough to write a rant. Just a heads up, this one will be a little quick, just to have this ready for the website.
We get a video package for this thing, which highlights all the Rookies. My favorite part of this video is a shot of all the rookies giving the four horsemen symbol. Yes, I know they were doing this because its season 4, but its still funny.
I just want to say something, and that’s Curtis cannot win this. Number one, this sends the message that once and for all, if you are a heel you cannot win this show. Brodus thus far has been the clear-cut obvious choice since day one. He can wrestle, and (this was the big shocker for me) he can cut a nice promo! Curtis, I suppose isn’t bad as a wrestler, but he has no personality. And his promos suck, as he rarely even talks about the subject at hand, he just caters to his audience in his promos. I’m not kidding, there was literally one promo where he was supposed to trash talk the other Rookies, but he didn’t. All he did was talk up the town they were in. He’s won competitions for doing this! And sadly, he’s in the finals. And people won’t see how bland this dude really is until he wins. Also, Rookies copy other Rookies who win. Meaning expect more Rookies to copy his methods in future seasons.
So we get our default opening, with the Pros still introducing their Rookies. For those of you who are wondering… no, Del Rio is still not wasting his time with this show. Kudos to Brodus Clay; for making it this far with no Pro. As well as Alberto, we have a few other Rookies who are not here, including: Dolph Ziggler (fired in storyline), Ted Dibiase, or Vickie. This, for those that care, marks the first time Truth has sung to ring. Since the focus was Curtis, he didn’t get all of it, but you could tell he’s been dying to do this, poor sap.
Just a matter of opinion, but Brodus needs to lose that mohawk. It just looks out of place.
Striker is in there to get the Rookies thoughts on the other before we get to the end of this competition. Curtis starts off by saying he’s not going to bash Brodus, but ends with he’s going to kick Brodus’ teeth down his throat. Huh? Curtis also rewrites history a bit by going on about how Brodus has been suckerpunching him this entire competition. What? Keep in mind this is the same Curtis, who for at least two promo challenges, his entry was punching Brodus in the face. Sad part is? He actually won at least one of those competitions thanks to that. I think that clothesline last week was actually Brodus’ first attack. Yes, there was that time Brodus took out everyone else in the competition, but that was hardly a sneak attack.
Brodus gets the stick, and he plays the heel so well. Even making a Lebron James reference in Cleveland. But that’s not what impressed me. During this promo, he really built up Curtis. Going on about how “when he looked everyone else, they flinched. But when he looked at Curtis, he just stared right back at him.” There was also a line that if they were in any other business but wrestling, they’d probably be friends. It was just really good stuff. Small spoiler, but all of Brodus’ promos were fantastic tonight.
Anyway, this sets us up rather nicely for Brodus vs. Curtis, the final encounter!
BRODUS CLAY VS. JOHNNY CURTIS
This was a very good match. Brodus really looked strong here, which makes sense as he only lost the triple threat match because Bateman and Curtis doubleteamed him throughout the entire match. So Brodus looked really strong here as he manhandled Curtis. Plus Brodus is really getting better at moving around the ring, and getting an impressive moveset.RATMAN & BATEMAN VS. JACOB NOVAK & BYRON SAXTON
Match was…. Okay, I guess. The real focus was the eventual tag to Bateman, which was built up nicely. Bateman goes nuts, and cleans house. Byron tries to get a tag, only for Novak to just leave… for whatever the reason. Bateman then reveals his new finisher, that I’m calling the TDD . For the move, you grab your opponent like you’re going for a bulldog, but you fall forward and drive the man’s head into the mat. Kinda like a DDT, except the positioning is different. Get it? DDT, TDD?BEST THING OF THE NIGHT, OR "THE DEWEY AWARD": The last final segment. The sheer emotion of it and the promo done by Brodus, made this segment the best close to a season in a long time.
AWFUL THING OF THE NIGHT, OR “THE REESE AWARD”: Matt Striker thanking the Pro’s for their “Hard Work”.
WTF MOMENT OF THE NIGHT, OR “THE FRANCIS AWARD”: Brodus Clay not winning NXT.
Twitter: @NotintheMiddle
Email: Malcolmnotinthemiddle@gmail.com
TWF FLASHBACK
November 2006
SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!
With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).
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