NXT Rant
6/22/2010
Hey guys, and welcome to the Rant, where this
week things will be a little different this week. Today,
expect a pretty bare bones report today. Why? Reason
being I’m dead on my feet… from staying up all night
watching Smackdown! That’s right, I was there live to
watch NXT, some of Superstars, and Smackdown in a whole
night. I had forgotten how cool the live shows are, and
I must say it was a fun time… with the expectation for
Rey Mysterio. So, he wins the belt for the second time…
and the jerk decides to take the week off when they come
to my town? Champion of the people my ass!
Anyway, given the fact I didn’t have my notes,
I’m beat, and heard no commentary, I’ll be doing this
report pretty quick. Actually, I’ll be honest, as a big
reason this report will be a little quicker is that we
had a lot of wrestling tonight, with four matches. And
lets be honest, my recaps of matches are a little weak.
We are live from
Ashely introduces the Pro’s, and just like that,
we are off to our first match.
The Miz & Alex Riley vs. MVP
& “Showtime” Percy Watson
Pretty enjoyable match, and it had a nice pace.
Plus, it was nice to see Percy Watson get in some
offense. This match also offered a nice little peek into
the relationship of Alex Riley and Miz, as Miz acts like
every jerk coach I’ve seen in teen movies.
The crowd was very into MVP tonight, btw. He got
heavily cheered in both NXT and Smackdown. Percy btw,
debuts an interesting looking splash that looks like
he’s dropkicking the invisible man, but he’s just doing
a splash.
End comes as MVP takes Alex to the outside,
leaving Miz and Percy in the ring together… yeah, you
can already tell where this goes. Percy, god bless him,
goes for the Floatover DDT only for Miz to counter into
hotshot on the ropes. Miz hits The Skullcrushing Finale
to end this.
Winners:
The Miz & Alex Riley
Alex Riley
is now 2-0
Percy
Watson is now 1-1
This brings us to the extended video package for
Titus O’Neil… and Christ, it paints this guy in a
positive light. No joke, its like he’s running for
office, its that good. So good, I almost feel like a
jerk for saying he’ll be the first guy eliminated…
almost.
Speaking of
Titus, he’s in the next match!
Titus O’Neil vs. Michael
McGillicutty
Well this should be a good on- oh shit, its over.
Winner:
Michael McGillicutty
Michael
McGillicutty is now 2-0
Titus
O’Neil is 0-2
Suddenly a “Tale of the Tape” image appears on
the titantron, and its for Kaval and Eli Cottonwood.
Wow, Vince sure does love these “smallest guy vs. the
largest guy” matches.
Kaval vs. Eli Cottonwood
Kaval matches are interesting, as even when he’s
losing he looks amazing. So much so, it makes no sense
as to why the other guy won… and this match was no
exception. Kaval plays the “Little Man in Peril” here as
he desperately tries to fight against the bigger
End comes as Eli debuts his new finisher, the
Reverse Chokeslam… were he pretty much just spikes his
opponents head to the mat. A cool move, too bad the
wrestler kinda sucks.
Winner: Eli
Cottonwood
Eli
Cottonwood is now 2-0
Kaval is
0-2
In case I haven’t said it before, I love the
Kaval-LayCool. And yes, I say that being a Kaval fan. I
just find Kaval playing straight man (no pun intended)
to the two over the top valley girls to be funny. Plus
once again, they seem genuinely concern for Kaval here,
even helping him to the back.
It’s main event time! Lucky Cannon vs. Cody
Rhodes (minus his extremely lame gimmick change for
Friday). Going into to this, I could have cared less,
and leaving it… nothing really changed. However, I have
to say how lame is your set of Pro’s when Cody freakin
Cody Rhodes w/controversy vs.
Lucky Cannon w/o Luck
Cody comes out and reminds Lucky how he said that
Lucky would be lucky to last five minutes in the ring
with him. So, this match will have a 5-minute time
limit.
Now I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, that’s
clever! Lucky will last to a time limit draw! That way
Lucky looks good without burying Cody! That’s a really
great way to go about this! Maybe WWE isn’t so stupid
after all?!”
… So yeah, Cody wins with 1:03 left on the clock.
Winner:
Cody freakin’
Lucky is
now 0-2
At some point tonight, we got a backstage segment
with LayCool trying to cheer up Kaval after his loss.
Very humorous stuff here, and it ends with them giving
Kaval a pink-collar shirt, with the words “Property of
LayCool” on it. Oh, and them turning his frown upside
down… The PG rated way, of course.
To wrap things up, Matt Striker makes his first
appearance on NXT tonight to get everyone to give their
closing arguments to the WWE universe as to why they
should stay on in 45 seconds or less. Just to gonna
through them.
Alex
Riley: Cuts a sweet promo about how when he was kid,
he bullied little kids. Now he gets paid to do this. He
talks about how awesome he is, and that he is
undefeated. He goes a little over.
Kaval: Who is
now sporting his pink “Property of LayCool” collar
shirt.Tells a nice story about how when he first tried
out for WWE, they told him he was too small. Now… he’s
here. It’s a nice story that goes way past the 45 second
mark… so much so the production crew needs to cut him
off.
Titus: Cuts a
surprisingly good upbeat promo that gets the crowd (who
were boo’ing him at first) to stand up and cheer.
Hopefully, he can keep this up for the rest of the
season.
McGillicutty:
Gets a nice promo about his family, and how he’s
undefeated. Speaking of his family, he ends his promo
time perfectly, handing Striker the mic as the buzzer
goes off.
Eli
Cottonwood: FIRE…. BAAAAAD!!!!
Percy
Watson: Is awesome on the mic. And I really enjoy
watching him… too bad he’s not going to win.
Lucky: Clears
up that he’s called Lucky because he’s able to do what
he loves and that’s wrestling. Good to know, as it’s
sure as hell not because he wins a lot.
Husky: Says he doesn’t
need 45 seconds… and then proceeds to beat up Matt
Striker! Clubbing blow to the back of the head, and then
a back splash off the ropes.
Show ends with Cody being happy with the fact
that he’s created a douchebag. This show was awesome,
and a great step in the right direction! We had four
solid matches, and no BS. Now, the fact I couldn’t hear
any commentary for obvious reasons maybe have a lot to
do with my rating, but I had fun watching this show
nonetheless.
BEST THING OF THE NIGHT, OR “THE
DEWEY AWARD”: I’ll give this
to me going to the Red Arrow Dinner after the show… were
I got to meet and sit across from Tyler Rekks, Vance
Archer, and the Dudebusters.
AWFUL THING OF THE NIGHT, OR “THE
REESE AWARD”: Eli Cottonwood…
OVER Kaval? Really?
WTF MOMENT OF THE NIGHT, OR “THE
FRANCIS AWARD”:
This week we have a tie! week we have a tie!
1)
What the heck was the point of having that 5-minute
stipulation with the Lucky/Cody match? They trying to
make Lucky look like garbage here?
2)
So Husky doesn’t want to be eliminated I take it… so he
does an act that pisses off both the pro’s and possibly
the fans too?
TWF FLASHBACK
November 2006
SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!
With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).
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