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WWE NXT RANT

6/8/10

 

            Wow… that’s really all I can say after watching the end of RAW Monday night. I have to say, hats off to the WWE on this one. I didn’t see this coming and I’ve been watching wrestling for a LONG time.  Its been such a long time since I’ve been that excited to watch a moment on WWE, where I was literally at a loss at what was going on. I know the analogy has been done all over the place, but it reminds me a lot of the start of the New World Order. When Scott Hall appeared on WCW, and declared war on them… it was a big moment. When the Rookies, sick and tired of being looked down on, attack everything WWE last night… dude that was awesome.

 

            I have to wonder though… did they have this in mind from the very start? From the get go, having them do embarrassing challenges, having Striker constantly interrupt them, and do the bogus eliminations just to give them a valid storyline reason to pull this off? Hate to say it, but I may owe NXT an apology.

           

            The big thing I’m wondering through all this? Where the hell is Cameron Burge!? Buzz Aldrin does the moonwalk, he’s got a column up the next morning! The biggest angle in the WWE happens, and he’s AWOL! Buddy, I say this only because I love your columns but come on!

 

            Live from Tampa, Florida on the night after the attack. Speaking of which, they kick the show off with footage of the attack and the destruction created all throughout the ring. One unfortunately kept lousy theme later, we are back with Matt Striker who makes that moment less cool by describing it as bombastic.  He introduces the Pro’s and their Rookies. Miz comes out with Alex Riley… who for all intents and purposes, appears to be his kid. Seriously, if the Miz character had a son, I’d imagine he’d be exactly like Alex Riley!

 

            Next is John Morrison…. Who doesn’t really have his head in the game promo-wise tonight, as he introduces Eli Cottonwood with “My Rookie sure is the tallest!” Way to put him over there, John.

 

            Cody Rhodes out to introduce his Rookie, Husky Harris. Cody will be playing the role of CM Punk, as he’s the one this season who doesn’t want to be there. He seems pretty annoyed at who he’s paired with. Speaking of fulfilling roles, it appears Husky Harris will be fulfilling the role Skip Sheffield this season. Meaning, he’s the happy, dumb redneck.

 

            LayCool is out, and damn Layla is hot. They introduce Kaval who they waste no time in making look like a tool by having him carry their belts. That’s wonderful WWE, so I assume the role of “widely respected indie star who will be made to look stupid at first because he didn’t become great in WWE.” Is going to Kaval…  I think I’ve been writing here for too long.

 

            Mark Henry is out to remind us that his Rookie isn’t stronger than him, and his name is Lucky Cannon. They actually look like they may get along for this season… or will they?

           

            Kofi Kingston out next with one of the odds on favorites to win this thing…. Michael McGuillty. I hate that name! Why? Why would you take that name, Joe? If you were trying to be your own man or something, it would make sense…. But you’re still billing yourself as Mr. Perfect’s kid! Come on! Interesting note, he appears to be a face!

 

            MVP out with my new favorite Rookie, Percy Watson… who I think MVP actually called him Shelton… great job, Montel. Percy is a site to behold as he looks like Carlton Banks on speed… which interestingly enough, did actually happen on an episode of Fresh Prince.

 

            Finally Zack “OMG! I actually won a match on TV!” Ryder out with Titus O’neil; or, as he will be known as, Elimination Number One.

 

            Striker having them all in the ring explains the new rules of this season. First he recaps the fact that now the WWE Universe now has 50% voting power in the pros Poll… meaning a face will win this season. He then says that this season will be exactly 12 weeks, with the first Pro’s Poll taking place in three weeks. He also explains that the first elimination will take place 3 weeks after that Pro’s poll. Wow, I’m impressed, that actually sounds very well organized.

 

            Striker then tells them that their chance to impress is right now… to which Husky runs over and grabs the mic and says not to worry and that he’s going to win NXT…. Wow, he’s kinda simple. Definitely has an “Of Mice and Men” air to him. Titus comes to say something boring but a shove from Fatty Harris prevents this, which leads to… almost a battle royal? Before anything interesting can happen, we head to commercials.

 

COMMERCIAL THOUGHTS – Am I the only one whose going to miss the Free Credit Report band?

 

            We’re back with Cole and Josh putting over the last night’s incident, which is pretty much the theme of the show tonight.  Cole is pretty pissed for a guy who ran away and completely missed an ass whipping of such magnitude.

 

            And hey, would ya look at that; we have a match!

 

JOHN MORRISON & ELI COTTONWOOD VS. ZACK RYDER & TITUS O’NEIL

           

            This match has taught me a thing or two about the rookies here. Like for one, Eli Cottowood is insane. Seriously, he has a whole son of Nailz thing going for him. The problem with this is that he looks like an anorexic version of Festus, and is really not too intimidating…

 

            Standard back and forth wrestling action here, with Ryder being nice enough to act scared of Eli. One funny moment to speak of, however, Titus is working on Morrison against the ropes when Zack yells out “Do the Dog Bark!” To which, Titus barks like a dog… only to get decked by Morrison. Very humorous stuff.

 

            Titus to the outside… as we got to commercials again!?

 

COMMERCIAL THOUGHTS – Metal Gear Solid : Peacewalker is awesome. I was worried at first about a MGS game coming to PSP, but its great! It may even be the best MGS game ever!

 

            Come back in time for the end, which sees Ryder get booted out of the ring by Cottonwood, which gives Morrison the opportunity to hit Starship Pain on Titus for the win.

 

WINNERS: Morrison and Cottonwood

 

Eli Cottonwood is now 1-0

Titus O’Neil is now 0-1

 

            Striker in the ring to ask stupid questions, and asks Morrison what he thinks of Titus O’Neil. Morrison is happy that the fans have an opinion of Eli… O-kay. Striker then asks Miz what he thinks, to which Miz says Eli is boring and that Eli’s debut was a failure…. Fair enough, but way to make the guy look like garbage.

 

            Cut to Cole and Josh, with Cole going a little insane saying that Miz should be in the nonexistent Hall of Fame for NXT Coaches, and even tells a jokes on Daniel Bryan… which is funny to me. Yeah, just keep on insulting the guy that assisted in murdering John Cena.  Smart move Cole.

 

            We then cut to a promo for Alex Riley, which don’t get me wrong is really good. He’s excellent on the mic but really this was just a long way to go just to say “Hey! I’m a cocky heel!”

 

            You know what, we need more commercials (sarcasm).

 

COMMERCIAL THOUGHTS – While I love Red Dead Redemption, there sure is a lot of bugs in it!

 

             Were back and another match in progress? So the hell with entrances I guess.

 

CODY RHODES & FATTY HARRIS VS. MVP & PERCY WATSON

 

            I’ve been looking forward to seeing Percy wrestle, as the guy just looks hilarious. Funny fact as the guy wears special athletic glasses while he wrestles. Plus the guy is still pretty much Eddie Murphy, which is great for a laugh.

 

            I’ll give Husky Harris credit, as he knows how to use his weight as an advantage, with lots of splash variations.  However, his character is still pretty much what Skip Sheffield was in the last season… a goofy redneck.

           

            As far as giving the Rookies a chance to shine, this match was terrible. Roughly 98% of the match was Percy being the face in peril, while Cody would do everything in his power to not tag in Husky Harris. If anything though, it showed that Percy could take a beating…. And that it takes one to get him to stop dancing.

 

            So they beat up Percy for a millennium, when suddenly Cody picks up Percy… and we go to Commercials!

 

COMMERCIAL THOUGHTS – I suppose I would shave if Cena suddenly burst into a restroom yelling at me like that.

 

            Back, and the team of Fatty Rhodes is still in the process of stealing Percy Watson’s lunch money. The beat down continues till finally Percy makes the hot tag, and MVP pretty much explodes on Fatty and Cody. After pretty much destroying all of them single-handed, he chops Harris’s throat and tags Percy in to let him hit a sweet Float Over DDT for the win. Gee, how nice of him.

 

WINNERS: MVP & Percy Watson

 

Percy Watson is 1-0

Husky Harris is now 0-1

 

            Striker in to be annoying, and asks Cody about the match and his Rookie, Husky. Cody begins by making fun of Husky’s weight… Really Cody? We’ve seen your family dude, your not making sense with that one. He then begins a promo about how he’s going to mold Husky into the next WWE Superstar, while being chased around the ring by Matt Striker, who by the way, has been a real dick tonight. Before he was being a jolly douchebag, but he’s just venomous tonight. He goes especially overboard for the final segment tonight, which I’ll get into.

 

            Striker asks about Percy, and MVP compliments him on how he held on, but got in trouble, basically just runs through the match, and says Showtime is ready for Primetime… so basically only the Miz can cut a promo in this group of Pro’s for this season.

 

McGuillty promo package now. Says he’s going to continue the Henning family name… considering the fact your name is McGuillty, you’ve already failed dude. To his credit, the shots of him wrestling look great, so I’m looking forward to seeing him wrestle.

 

And one more time, we have commercials.

 

COMMERCIAL THOUGHTS – I’ve got nothin’.

 

            We’re back, and we now find out why we had so many commercials thrown at us so quickly. We have all the rookies and all the pros in the ring, as Striker points up to the Titantron to replay the NXT Invasion on RAW in its entirety.

 

Now I’m not gonna recap this, as Cameron Burge will be doing that soon… we all hope. I will point out some stuff that I thought was awesome.

 

- Michael Tarver magically appearing in the audience, looking like a ninja.

- Call me heartless, but the children screaming and crying for John Cena was a nice touch for the moment.

- Justin Roberts was a real trooper, and got his poor butt kicked!

- Striker getting slugged… finally!

 

Ten minutes later, we’re back and Striker asks the Rookies what they thought.

 

Kaval: Man, does this dude have a deep voice! Says it was unbelievable, but that’s how you make a statement in the WWE. Striker looks at him like he was crazy.

 

Lucky Cannon: It was cowardly, but it made a very powerful statement. Striker is getting more and more annoyed.

 

Husky Harris: Doesn’t agree with it, but doesn’t care as he’s here to win.

 

Percy: Didn’t like the attack, because you should fight someone one on one.

 

Alex Riley: Sneezes. Not even kidding there. In his defense, I think he was going for a “I’m allergic to losers” joke with Striker, but not really the time for it. Striker got pissed off by this.

 

Eli Cottonwood: Says Cena  deserved it, which gets some good heat.

 

Titus:  Should never talk. He states that he dares the Season one guys to do that to him (Why?), rambles on fighting Striker for the mic, and then threatens Zack Ryder for touching him… huh?

 

McGuillty: Makes fun of Alex for sneezing, and then gets cut off by Striker, which gets some heat on Striker from the crowd.

 

            Striker then walks to the middle of the ring, and says there’s a prevailing concern in the lockerroom for the safety for what people who contribute to what we do here in the WWE. So on behalf of them and those hurt on RAW, he wants to officially welcome the Rookies to the WWE and NXT… wow, this isn’t a trap or anything.

 

            The Pros go to embrace the Rookies, but two slaps from LayCool to Kaval later, the slaughter begins as the Pros jump and destroy the Rookies for the remainder of the show. Here’s where it got weird for me, cause it felt like I was watching World War II propaganda. The Pros are slaughtering the Rookies, for something they didn’t even do, and the commentators are making it out like everything is fine. They keep saying “The Pros are just welcoming the Rookies” or “This is just an initiation”, which is bullshit. Have to admit, its good television, as I really felt uncomfortable watching these poor kids get decimated out of fear from the WWE.  It wasn’t till towards the end , Cole mentions this was done to get the idea of rebellion out of their heads early. A statement that makes no sense, consider this is professional wrestling and people always retaliate.

 

            And that closes this episode of NXT.

 

            I dunno what to say about this episode. On one hand, the final segment added some great fuel to an already amazing angle with the Season One Rookies. It even raised some questions, like what will the Rookies do after this? Will they join Barrett? Will they strike back against their Pros? This is possibly the best angle I’ve seen in a long time, and I’m actually excited. I’m really looking forward to what happens next week.

 

            That being said, if nothing happens next week, I’m going to be pissed. If Alex Riley comes out with the Miz and is so happy to be with him again; I’m gonna be upset. There is no way this doesn’t create some kind of tension between the Rookies and Pros. But we’ll have to wait and see.

 

            As much as I like the angle, it came at the expense of the other Rookies, who lost a lot of time to shine. That and we were attacked mercilessly with commercials. Finally, did everyone forget how to cut a promo tonight?

 

            So, I’d give it a thumb up, as I’m very anxious to see what happens now.

 

BEST THING OF THE NIGHT, OR “THE DEWEY AWARD”:  Going to give this to the final segment, as it’s setting up quite the powder keg in the WWE.  Honorable mention goes to Percy Watson for being Percy Watson.

 

AWFUL THING OF THE NIGHT, OR “THE REESE AWARD”:  Pretty much every promo done tonight, that wasn’t spoken by Miz.  Dishonorable mention goes to Titus O’Neil who should be cut ASAP.

 

WTF MOMENT OF THE NIGHT, OR “THE FRANCIS AWARD”: So let me get this straight. The Pros attacked the Rookies hoping this would prevent a war from happening. Yeah, that makes sense. Remember when Vince had Austin beat up? Yeah that shut him up. Remember when Bundy busted up Hogan’s ribs and ended Hulkamania? What about when Big Show thru Cena thru that stage light and  Cena never bugged him again? No? Oh right, because none of that ever happened!

 

Sorry Dumbasses, you started a war!... least I hope so.

WWE NXT RANT

6/8/10

 

            Wow… that’s really all I can say after watching the end of RAW Monday night. I have to say, hats off to the WWE on this one. I didn’t see this coming and I’ve been watching wrestling for a LONG time.  Its been such a long time since I’ve been that excited to watch a moment on WWE, where I was literally at a loss at what was going on. I know the analogy has been done all over the place, but it reminds me a lot of the start of the New World Order. When Scott Hall appeared on WCW, and declared war on them… it was a big moment. When the Rookies, sick and tired of being looked down on, attack everything WWE last night… dude that was awesome.

 

            I have to wonder though… did they have this in mind from the very start? From the get go, having them do embarrassing challenges, having Striker constantly interrupt them, and do the bogus eliminations just to give them a valid storyline reason to pull this off? Hate to say it, but I may owe NXT an apology.

           

            The big thing I’m wondering through all this? Where the hell is Cameron Burge!? Buzz Aldrin does the moonwalk, he’s got a column up the next morning! The biggest angle in the WWE happens, and he’s AWOL! Buddy, I say this only because I love your columns but come on!

 

            Live from Tampa, Florida on the night after the attack. Speaking of which, they kick the show off with footage of the attack and the destruction created all throughout the ring. One unfortunately kept lousy theme later, we are back with Matt Striker who makes that moment less cool by describing it as bombastic.  He introduces the Pro’s and their Rookies. Miz comes out with Alex Riley… who for all intents and purposes, appears to be his kid. Seriously, if the Miz character had a son, I’d imagine he’d be exactly like Alex Riley!

 

            Next is John Morrison…. Who doesn’t really have his head in the game promo-wise tonight, as he introduces Eli Cottonwood with “My Rookie sure is the tallest!” Way to put him over there, John.

 

            Cody Rhodes out to introduce his Rookie, Husky Harris. Cody will be playing the role of CM Punk, as he’s the one this season who doesn’t want to be there. He seems pretty annoyed at who he’s paired with. Speaking of fulfilling roles, it appears Husky Harris will be fulfilling the role Skip Sheffield this season. Meaning, he’s the happy, dumb redneck.

 

            LayCool is out, and damn Layla is hot. They introduce Kaval who they waste no time in making look like a tool by having him carry their belts. That’s wonderful WWE, so I assume the role of “widely respected indie star who will be made to look stupid at first because he didn’t become great in WWE.” Is going to Kaval…  I think I’ve been writing here for too long.

 

            Mark Henry is out to remind us that his Rookie isn’t stronger than him, and his name is Lucky Cannon. They actually look like they may get along for this season… or will they?

           

            Kofi Kingston out next with one of the odds on favorites to win this thing…. Michael McGuillty. I hate that name! Why? Why would you take that name, Joe? If you were trying to be your own man or something, it would make sense…. But you’re still billing yourself as Mr. Perfect’s kid! Come on! Interesting note, he appears to be a face!

 

            MVP out with my new favorite Rookie, Percy Watson… who I think MVP actually called him Shelton… great job, Montel. Percy is a site to behold as he looks like Carlton Banks on speed… which interestingly enough, did actually happen on an episode of Fresh Prince.

 

            Finally Zack “OMG! I actually won a match on TV!” Ryder out with Titus O’neil; or, as he will be known as, Elimination Number One.

 

            Striker having them all in the ring explains the new rules of this season. First he recaps the fact that now the WWE Universe now has 50% voting power in the pros Poll… meaning a face will win this season. He then says that this season will be exactly 12 weeks, with the first Pro’s Poll taking place in three weeks. He also explains that the first elimination will take place 3 weeks after that Pro’s poll. Wow, I’m impressed, that actually sounds very well organized.

 

            Striker then tells them that their chance to impress is right now… to which Husky runs over and grabs the mic and says not to worry and that he’s going to win NXT…. Wow, he’s kinda simple. Definitely has an “Of Mice and Men” air to him. Titus comes to say something boring but a shove from Fatty Harris prevents this, which leads to… almost a battle royal? Before anything interesting can happen, we head to commercials.

 

COMMERCIAL THOUGHTS – Am I the only one whose going to miss the Free Credit Report band?

 

            We’re back with Cole and Josh putting over the last night’s incident, which is pretty much the theme of the show tonight.  Cole is pretty pissed for a guy who ran away and completely missed an ass whipping of such magnitude.

 

            And hey, would ya look at that; we have a match!

 

JOHN MORRISON & ELI COTTONWOOD VS. ZACK RYDER & TITUS O’NEIL

           

            This match has taught me a thing or two about the rookies here. Like for one, Eli Cottowood is insane. Seriously, he has a whole son of Nailz thing going for him. The problem with this is that he looks like an anorexic version of Festus, and is really not too intimidating…

 

            Standard back and forth wrestling action here, with Ryder being nice enough to act scared of Eli. One funny moment to speak of, however, Titus is working on Morrison against the ropes when Zack yells out “Do the Dog Bark!” To which, Titus barks like a dog… only to get decked by Morrison. Very humorous stuff.

 

            Titus to the outside… as we got to commercials again!?

 

COMMERCIAL THOUGHTS – Metal Gear Solid : Peacewalker is awesome. I was worried at first about a MGS game coming to PSP, but its great! It may even be the best MGS game ever!

 

            Come back in time for the end, which sees Ryder get booted out of the ring by Cottonwood, which gives Morrison the opportunity to hit Starship Pain on Titus for the win.

 

WINNERS: Morrison and Cottonwood

 

Eli Cottonwood is now 1-0

Titus O’Neil is now 0-1

 

            Striker in the ring to ask stupid questions, and asks Morrison what he thinks of Titus O’Neil. Morrison is happy that the fans have an opinion of Eli… O-kay. Striker then asks Miz what he thinks, to which Miz says Eli is boring and that Eli’s debut was a failure…. Fair enough, but way to make the guy look like garbage.

 

            Cut to Cole and Josh, with Cole going a little insane saying that Miz should be in the nonexistent Hall of Fame for NXT Coaches, and even tells a jokes on Daniel Bryan… which is funny to me. Yeah, just keep on insulting the guy that assisted in murdering John Cena.  Smart move Cole.

 

            We then cut to a promo for Alex Riley, which don’t get me wrong is really good. He’s excellent on the mic but really this was just a long way to go just to say “Hey! I’m a cocky heel!”

 

            You know what, we need more commercials (sarcasm).

 

COMMERCIAL THOUGHTS – While I love Red Dead Redemption, there sure is a lot of bugs in it!

 

             Were back and another match in progress? So the hell with entrances I guess.

 

CODY RHODES & FATTY HARRIS VS. MVP & PERCY WATSON

 

            I’ve been looking forward to seeing Percy wrestle, as the guy just looks hilarious. Funny fact as the guy wears special athletic glasses while he wrestles. Plus the guy is still pretty much Eddie Murphy, which is great for a laugh.

 

            I’ll give Husky Harris credit, as he knows how to use his weight as an advantage, with lots of splash variations.  However, his character is still pretty much what Skip Sheffield was in the last season… a goofy redneck.

           

            As far as giving the Rookies a chance to shine, this match was terrible. Roughly 98% of the match was Percy being the face in peril, while Cody would do everything in his power to not tag in Husky Harris. If anything though, it showed that Percy could take a beating…. And that it takes one to get him to stop dancing.

 

            So they beat up Percy for a millennium, when suddenly Cody picks up Percy… and we go to Commercials!

 

COMMERCIAL THOUGHTS – I suppose I would shave if Cena suddenly burst into a restroom yelling at me like that.

 

            Back, and the team of Fatty Rhodes is still in the process of stealing Percy Watson’s lunch money. The beat down continues till finally Percy makes the hot tag, and MVP pretty much explodes on Fatty and Cody. After pretty much destroying all of them single-handed, he chops Harris’s throat and tags Percy in to let him hit a sweet Float Over DDT for the win. Gee, how nice of him.

 

WINNERS: MVP & Percy Watson

 

Percy Watson is 1-0

Husky Harris is now 0-1

 

            Striker in to be annoying, and asks Cody about the match and his Rookie, Husky. Cody begins by making fun of Husky’s weight… Really Cody? We’ve seen your family dude, your not making sense with that one. He then begins a promo about how he’s going to mold Husky into the next WWE Superstar, while being chased around the ring by Matt Striker, who by the way, has been a real dick tonight. Before he was being a jolly douchebag, but he’s just venomous tonight. He goes especially overboard for the final segment tonight, which I’ll get into.

 

            Striker asks about Percy, and MVP compliments him on how he held on, but got in trouble, basically just runs through the match, and says Showtime is ready for Primetime… so basically only the Miz can cut a promo in this group of Pro’s for this season.

 

McGuillty promo package now. Says he’s going to continue the Henning family name… considering the fact your name is McGuillty, you’ve already failed dude. To his credit, the shots of him wrestling look great, so I’m looking forward to seeing him wrestle.

 

And one more time, we have commercials.

 

COMMERCIAL THOUGHTS – I’ve got nothin’.

 

            We’re back, and we now find out why we had so many commercials thrown at us so quickly. We have all the rookies and all the pros in the ring, as Striker points up to the Titantron to replay the NXT Invasion on RAW in its entirety.

 

Now I’m not gonna recap this, as Cameron Burge will be doing that soon… we all hope. I will point out some stuff that I thought was awesome.

 

- Michael Tarver magically appearing in the audience, looking like a ninja.

- Call me heartless, but the children screaming and crying for John Cena was a nice touch for the moment.

- Justin Roberts was a real trooper, and got his poor butt kicked!

- Striker getting slugged… finally!

 

Ten minutes later, we’re back and Striker asks the Rookies what they thought.

 

Kaval: Man, does this dude have a deep voice! Says it was unbelievable, but that’s how you make a statement in the WWE. Striker looks at him like he was crazy.

 

Lucky Cannon: It was cowardly, but it made a very powerful statement. Striker is getting more and more annoyed.

 

Husky Harris: Doesn’t agree with it, but doesn’t care as he’s here to win.

 

Percy: Didn’t like the attack, because you should fight someone one on one.

 

Alex Riley: Sneezes. Not even kidding there. In his defense, I think he was going for a “I’m allergic to losers” joke with Striker, but not really the time for it. Striker got pissed off by this.

 

Eli Cottonwood: Says Cena  deserved it, which gets some good heat.

 

Titus:  Should never talk. He states that he dares the Season one guys to do that to him (Why?), rambles on fighting Striker for the mic, and then threatens Zack Ryder for touching him… huh?

 

McGuillty: Makes fun of Alex for sneezing, and then gets cut off by Striker, which gets some heat on Striker from the crowd.

 

            Striker then walks to the middle of the ring, and says there’s a prevailing concern in the lockerroom for the safety for what people who contribute to what we do here in the WWE. So on behalf of them and those hurt on RAW, he wants to officially welcome the Rookies to the WWE and NXT… wow, this isn’t a trap or anything.

 

            The Pros go to embrace the Rookies, but two slaps from LayCool to Kaval later, the slaughter begins as the Pros jump and destroy the Rookies for the remainder of the show. Here’s where it got weird for me, cause it felt like I was watching World War II propaganda. The Pros are slaughtering the Rookies, for something they didn’t even do, and the commentators are making it out like everything is fine. They keep saying “The Pros are just welcoming the Rookies” or “This is just an initiation”, which is bullshit. Have to admit, its good television, as I really felt uncomfortable watching these poor kids get decimated out of fear from the WWE.  It wasn’t till towards the end , Cole mentions this was done to get the idea of rebellion out of their heads early. A statement that makes no sense, consider this is professional wrestling and people always retaliate.

 

            And that closes this episode of NXT.

 

            I dunno what to say about this episode. On one hand, the final segment added some great fuel to an already amazing angle with the Season One Rookies. It even raised some questions, like what will the Rookies do after this? Will they join Barrett? Will they strike back against their Pros? This is possibly the best angle I’ve seen in a long time, and I’m actually excited. I’m really looking forward to what happens next week.

 

            That being said, if nothing happens next week, I’m going to be pissed. If Alex Riley comes out with the Miz and is so happy to be with him again; I’m gonna be upset. There is no way this doesn’t create some kind of tension between the Rookies and Pros. But we’ll have to wait and see.

 

            As much as I like the angle, it came at the expense of the other Rookies, who lost a lot of time to shine. That and we were attacked mercilessly with commercials. Finally, did everyone forget how to cut a promo tonight?

 

            So, I’d give it a thumb up, as I’m very anxious to see what happens now.

 

BEST THING OF THE NIGHT, OR “THE DEWEY AWARD”:  Going to give this to the final segment, as it’s setting up quite the powder keg in the WWE.  Honorable mention goes to Percy Watson for being Percy Watson.

 

AWFUL THING OF THE NIGHT, OR “THE REESE AWARD”:  Pretty much every promo done tonight, that wasn’t spoken by Miz.  Dishonorable mention goes to Titus O’Neil who should be cut ASAP.

 

WTF MOMENT OF THE NIGHT, OR “THE FRANCIS AWARD”: So let me get this straight. The Pros attacked the Rookies hoping this would prevent a war from happening. Yeah, that makes sense. Remember when Vince had Austin beat up? Yeah that shut him up. Remember when Bundy busted up Hogan’s ribs and ended Hulkamania? What about when Big Show thru Cena thru that stage light and  Cena never bugged him again? No? Oh right, because none of that ever happened!

 

Sorry Dumbasses, you started a war!... least I hope so.

 

 SEND FEEDBACK TO MALCOLM NOT IN THE MIDDLE.

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TWF FLASHBACK

November 2006

SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!

by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).