· The NME Newsletter reports that, in addition to saving beached whales and solving world peace (as well
as occasionally fronting a multi-platinum band), U2’s Bono will be one of BBC Radio 4’s guest editors on their
“Today” program the week after Christmas. While admitting to being “not a natural editor”, Bono nonetheless
will use the time to highlight the AIDS epidemic in Africa and the crippling consequences of third world debt. After the editor
stint, Bono will also save kittens and puppies from trees and hand out candy to little boys and girls who have been left off
of Santa’s list. No wonder he won the Nobel Peace Prize...
· The NME Newsletter informs us that, in a pathetic attempt to sell tickets
to the John Lennon Musical, two of Lennon’s songs that have never been heard before will make the show – “India,
India” and “I Don’t Want To Lose You”. In an equally pathetic attempt to rake in some of the box office
cash, Yoko Ono has given her permission for the songs to be used.
Now, it’s no secret to anyone that’s read this column for any length
of time that I detest the idea of musicals based on pre-existing work. Even more so when the main impetus of said musical
seems to be of someone who has already passed away with no other outlet for the estate to make extra money off the works of
the corpse. So, with that in place, writer/director Don Scardino and Yoko Ono can both choke on deez nuts.
Besides, if I were to hear something new from John Lennon I’d prefer that
it was HIM singing the song. And if not him, then at least one or more of the surviving Beatles. Not some goober hired to
play the man on stage without a clue of what drove him and why.
This is one stage show that Britain can keep.
· NME hits the trifecta with word that the Scissor Sisters’ new video
for “Filthy Gorgeous” is awaiting to see IF it will make the airwaves in the UK. You see, the video was shot in
The Zipper Theater in New York City and features the band and several others...”living it up” in the nightclub.
In rather controversial fashion.
As singer Ana Metronic puts is, “We wanted it to be honest. The song is
about trannie hookers on acid so what the fuck do you want?” And THAT should tell you everything.
I’ve only recently heard the Scissor Sisters (courtesy of our man in Amsterdam,
Grimmy Acosta). I liked what I heard, including their cover of “Comfortably Numb”.
But this...this only piques my curiosity now. If this video makes it out and
someone gets their hands on it, PLEASE hook a brother up. Thanks in advance.
· Word comes from The Blistering Newsletter about a state of affairs that comes as no real surprise. Cradle Of Filth’s bassist
Dave Pybus was recently interviewed by MetalUnderground.com and was asked about the band’s participation in last year’s OzzFest tour.
Rather then try and break this down, I’ll let Mr. Pybus tell the tale:
That’s bad that
Cradle Of Filth is that skittish about talking like that now but I’m glad Pybus threw it out there anyways. Now Cradle
Of Filth is headlining their own tour with Arch Enemy – a band that I’ll take to task myself a little bit later
on.
· Our last piece of news comes once again from The Blistering Newsletter and
concerns the final tracklisting for a CD that I can’t wait for. Strapping Young Lad’s Alien, due
March 22, 2005 from Century Media, looks something like this:
01. Imperial
02. Skeksis
03. Shitstorm
04. Love?
05. Shine
06. We Ride
07. Possessions
08. Two Weeks
09. Mega Bulldozer
10. Zen
11. Info Dump (instrumental)
What? No “What’s New, Pussycat”?! Dammit, I wanted to hear
that—
But never fear! SYL front(mad)man Devin Townsend said the track was left off
because it didn’t the flow of the album – but that it WILL appear “somewhere in the future”.
Nice. I can live with it being left off as long as I get to hear it. Swear to
God, that’ll be the funniest thing I’ll ever hear...
On The Road Again
· Only one bit to report here, but man is it a doozie. It comes from Maximum Metal and from the fine folks at Adrenaline PR. I already reported it here on 411 but this is such good news it bears repeating!
Slipknot is set to hit the road next year starting in March. But this ain’t
no Hard Rock Live/insert name of cool local nightclub here run, oh no. This is a full-blown arena tour, and in support
of Slipknot will be Lamb Of God AND Shadows Fall, making this possibly the biggest metal tour of 2005. And the year ain’t
even started yet!
So far, the itinerary reads as follows:
Hartford, CT
Philadelphia, PA
New York, NY
Columbus, OH
Cleveland, OH
Chicago, IL
Detroit, MI
Indianapolis, IN
Boston, MA
Washington, DC
Atlanta, GA
Pensacola, FL
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Tampa, FL
New Orleans, LA
Dallas, TX
Houston, TX
Corpus Christi, TX
San Antonio, TX
Phoenix, AZ
Las Vegas, NV
San Diego, CA
Los Angeles, CA
Fresno, CA
San Jose, CA
Sacramento, CA
Portland, OR
Seattle, WA
Spokane, WA
Salt Lake City, UT
Denver, CO
Kansas City, MO
Des Moines, IA
Minneapolis, MN Green Bay, WI
Madison, WI
Omaha, NE
No exact dates or venues yet, but I CAN tell you that it’s set to start
on March 4 and go through May. I’ll be keeping an eye on more developments for this for 411Music’s main page as
well as this very column. And my GOD, I can’t WAIT to see this one hit Tampa – if it doesn’t come to Orlando.
Double M – 12.16.04
I’ll feel it fair to warn you now the news and tours sections may be a little scarce this week. One reason that there
was one HUGE news story but not much else going on. Second is that the industry is starting its shutdown process like it does
every holiday. And third is because I have some business to tend to at the end. With that said, let’s get down to brass
tacks...
The thing about Ozzfest is it's good in the crowd, playing-wise. But I would never want to do it again...I didn’t really
want to earn the Osbournes any money while I spend ten weeks dying. We were the only English bands on there and they never
once came to our tours. They're from Birmingham. So it was like 'Fuck you.' I'm a normal person. I take things like that kinda
personally. The fact that they're not normal. . . It's not a bad thing. I mean, they're traveling with their family. They've
got shitloads of money. It's great for them. But for guys away from his family for 10 weeks, dying, you know, for nothing.
You're not even allowed to have a poster campaign while at the same time as Ozzfest. Not at the stores or anything like that.
They control everything. It's a bit like Nazi Germany. They say, 'Rock 'n' roll this, rock 'n' roll that.' It's the most sterile
environment you could ever go into. I'd rather not do it again if I get a choice. I shouldn't be doing this interview...That's
what they're like. That's what they're like though, you know? Freedom of expression. And I just said it was a pile of shit
so sorry.
Okay, that’s bad when homeboy is even afraid to talk about it. I shouldn't
be doing this interview...That's what they're like? Holy shit...
I kinda thought that Sharon Osbourne ran a tight ship, but Jesus. OzzFest felt
like a corporate entity when I went 3 years ago. There were sponsors and merchants and product hawkers all over the place.
Doesn’t that defeat the purpose and feeling of rebellion that metal is supposed to have?
Reasons To Rejoice Their Own
Worst Arch Enemy
Yes, the name and visage of my fiancée Lee Ann Taylor is on the list of Reasons To Rejoice indefinitely. And the fun officially stops here because I have some business to
attend to...
First of all, I’m not going to reprint every gory detail of the story.
If you want all that, your best bet would be to go back and read the 11.15.04 edition of Double M for the full story on this one. But, if you’re in a hurry, I can give you the
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version:
Back in May, Machine Head’s Robert Flynn accused Arch Enemy of gross unprofessionalism
after the latter band cancelled out of a support position touring with Machine Head. The war of words is on as Flynn accused
Arch Enemy singer Angela Gossow and Arch Enemy’s management of lying about Gossow not being able to secure a work visa
for the US. Arch Enemy apologizes to their fans (and no one else) online and the fight settles down. Six months later, Gossow
said the way Flynn handled the incident was unprofessional and that his throat giving out for a show was karma’s payback.
The war of words starts again as Flynn is pissed and promises to beat the hell out of everyone in the band except Gossow.
This includes her “husband” (according to Flynn), Arch Enemy founder and guitarist Michael Amott.
Meanwhile, also in November, Yours Truly is putting together a Headbangers’
Ball Tour preview feature for 411 including interviews with all 4 bands on the bill – Himsa (done), Bleeding Through (done), Cradle Of Filth and Arch Enemy (both obviously not done).
I went to the Headbangers’ Ball stop in Orlando on November 12 and, after a whole day of hell, neither interview with
the headliners of the tour happened. When we last left the story, I was still in pursuit of those interviews and a completed
feature.
Not anymore.
If you paid any attention to the teaser, you know that this is the final time
I address the Headbangers’ Ball Tour after all of the time and work I have put into trying to make the feature happen.
Since that November 15 column, I’ve been rather busy but NOT busy enough to reschedule the interviews. Those were to
happen on December 6 – last week and near the end of the Headbangers’ Ball tour. Cutting it close, I figured
I still had a story to do and did everything I could (along with the PR firm representing them, who is NOT being held responsible
for any of this) to still get it out.
The day the interviews were scheduled, I was given a number for the PR firm
to call in case the band didn’t. Well, I had to use that number – and even THAT wasn’t enough to get the
band to pay attention to 411 and a story that had to be done to get their dumb asses over in any way, shape, or form.
And therein lies the problem. I can personally handle being blown off for an
interview. This ain’t the first time it’s happened, and it won’t be the last. That’s just the way
this business runs sometimes. Egos and whatnot. If you think wrestling is bad for this shit, you haven’t seen a damned thing.
What I DO have a problem with is a band already full of its own shit. A band
that thinks outlets like 411 (which reaches almost a million people a week) and BackStage Pass Magazine (which reaches about 100,000 people near the band’s Florida tour stops) are
too small for them. A band that’s so wrapped up in itself that they don’t understand that, at the level
they’re at, ANY help is needed from turning them from a small niche band into the actual success story that they perceive
themselves as now.
A band that only works with or talks to whom they think will do the most for
them and shits all over everyone and everything else.
I really can’t stand bands with that level of ego, especially when
they haven’t had the success to back it up. Such luminaries as Winger and Poison, to name only a few, had that attitude
back when.
And where are they now? Oh yeah – featured on VH1’s Where Are
They Now!
This conclusion doesn’t come from sour grapes, folks. Let’s take
a few excerpts from the full story in the 11.15.04 edition of Double M for some proof, shall we? Look for underlined passages as your biggest clues will
be there.
First, Robert Flynn’s account of the tour cancellation that started all
this mess:
ARCH ENEMY asked us to go along with their ‘work visa’ excuse.
We did. They then told us they’d be missing Philly and New York, but to keep going along with the work visa excuse.
We did. The next day at Metalfest [New England Metal And Hardcore Festival], their bassist and guitarist both confirmed
they’d be starting the tour, but were very evasive. Then, after tracking down their manager, he gave us ‘his word’
that they would be doing the tour.
The next day they had their BOOKING AGENT call our TOUR MANAGER to
tell us they were canceling ‘the entire tour’ ‘cause she had blown out her voice. This wasn’t
their manager calling our manager, which would have been proper etiquette... no, the first official ‘statement’
we got from your camp was your ham-fisted ‘apology‘ to your fans on your fucking website, and that didn’t
even give anyone an explanation!!!
Based on that, Arch Enemy is prone to not only backing out of commitments but
not even having the guts to tell someone in a proper manner. Kinda like they did me.
Next, let’s look at the message left on Arch Enemy’s website regarding
that same tour (I remember it like it was yesterday):
We would like to clarify to everyone who is wondering why there are
tour dates posted on other websites before they are up here on the official Arch Enemy website. This is because many promoters
are eager to advertise & promote their gig even before it has been confirmed by all parties (pay attention to that phrase).
The shows you see here at archenemy.net are ALL 100% confirmed.
Read: If we WANT to be on the tour, you’ll see the dates here. If we’re
still hemming and hawing OR looking for a way out, then you won’t see anything posted here. Thank you, please drive
through.
Now, at the time of the tour in question, Flynn was a little nicer about it
but still had a telling message:
The tour’s been great. I think we’ve got a really strong
package. We’ve got GOD FORBID and 36 CRAZYFISTS. ARCH ENEMY — it’s unfortunate that they’ve decided
to do things the way that they have. They kind of made up a bunch of excuses about going out, you know, because [ARCH ENEMY
singer Angela Gossow] couldn’t get her visa...you know, whatever. If you buy that, I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn
I can sell you too. The thing is that they needed this tour more than we needed them, you know. No one’s asked
for their money back, so...it’s unfortunate that they had to go the whole lying route, but whatever. No one’s
hurting from it.
At the time, this would have been great exposure for Arch Enemy. Instead, they
went on a few solo shows with God Forbid and, as fate would have it, landed on a bill that got them a LOT more exposure –
the Headbangers’ Ball Tour. For that tour, they’ve done a few interviews. The bigger the outlet the better, it’s
seemed. And apparently we weren’t big enough.
The way they’re handling their career goes beyond picking and choosing
their opportunities and thinking that they – a step above a local band – are “too big” for ANYone.
Going back to the November 12 edition of the Headbangers’ Ball show, we have the following examples (taken, once again,
from the 11.15.04 edition of Double M:
· Arch Enemy posts a sign at the merchandise stand stating they’re leaving
immediately after their performance but that their shirts and crap will be available until 10:30, forcing people to
get them at the band’s discretion and collecting their money before they blow town without giving the fans who bought
their tickets and merchandise the chance to get ANY of it autographed like any other band on the bill did – INCLUDING
Cradle Of Filth.
· When introducing the big single “We Will Rise”, Gossow copies
the exact same introduction used on the Dead Eyes See No Future EP, which was available at the
show.
Now, with all of this evidence in place, it’s easy to see that Arch Enemy
has a very short term future ahead of them. Why? Because, as any band that’s playing free gigs for little Eric’s
birthday party will tell you, who you step on the way up the ladder will be glad to piss on you on your way down. And Arch
Enemy isn’t big enough yet to be able to have that attitude by a damned sight.
As evidence, I offer a fact that I’ve left out until now. For the review of the show, I played up the performance of ALL bands that night, as each of them were good. Including
Arch Enemy’s. That was done to honestly portray the stage show of each band and to keep business channels open as I
thought i still had 2 interviews yet to do concerning the tour.
However, the performances may have been in vain for all involved. For the November
12 Headbangers’ Ball show, the House Of Blues in Orlando was half-full.
Consider this: When Ministry played there on Halloween Night and even when Queensryche (a band considered dead by many) played there a week before, both of those shows were PACKED. There was no room to move at either concert, as
it was asshole-to-elbow at the venue.
But yet, when “up and comers” Arch Enemy takes the stage, not that
many people can be bothered to show up despite a promotional blitz from MTV2 (who sponsored the tour) and several dozen different
media outlets.
Wouldn’t you think that, if Arch Enemy were as popular as they’d
like to believe, that the show would be sold out? Instead, they played to barely 1000 people despite a national
advertising campaign.
Exactly when Arch Enemy may be on their way to obscurity (or, even better, a
passing mention on VH1’s Where Are They Now? right alongside Cinderella) remains to be seen. Honestly, I hope
it doesn’t come to that point. In fact that’s one of the reasons I’m doing all of this – to call them
out and make them understand that heavy metal isn’t an industry here to make them all rich. Rather, metal is a community
here to help each other so long as it gets a favor every now and again in return. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch
yours.
I was willing to sctarch Arch Enemy’s back and so was Robert Flynn. But
apparently Arch Enemy didn’t think either one of us was good enough to.
By their own actions and the way they treat those who they seem to think have
nothing to offer them, Arch Enemy will NEVER make the superstar status they apparently crave so bad.
Mark my words, kids. Unless Arch Enemy cleans up their act and decides to include
a hell of a lot more professionalism into their repertoire, their success will never grow past the level it is right now.
They COULD be a lot bigger based on some impressive playing and melodies and
the novelty of a roaring screaming banshee as a vocalist. They COULD...but it’s all up to them and how they carry themselves.
If they don’t, it’ll all be their own fault. And I’d rather
not see them become their own worst Arch Enemy.
Happy Trails
Well then, I think I’ve run my mouth enough for a column. Next week we’re
gonna switch things up a bit as it’s time for the Year End stuff. Top 10 albums, favorite moments, all that good stuff
– all to follow in the next 2 weeks.
But for now, enjoy the rest of the Music Crew as well as all of 411Mania. Take care and I’ll see you back here in 7.
L8. Thanks again for reading.
For more interesting (?) reading, click here.
Be sure to visit EdWolf for all of your (non-video) gaming needs, Rehab Radio for some good surfing music, and The Wrestling Fan for a good chuckle or two.
TWF FLASHBACK
November 2006
SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!
With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).
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