Joey Mercury: How the gay hell did we end up with this guy?
Paul Bearer: Oooh yeeeess!
Johnny Nitro: Well, at least he has bigger tits than our last one

Melina: So, you’re saying a ‘cement bath’ will make me look even younger?
Taker: uh, yeah, sure…

To ‘The Bachelor’:

Kane: yeah, I think Ashley and me hit it off really well. Who knows? She may be the one!
Ashley: Well he seems nice but creepy..I mean who keeps a dead fetus in their room?

But the most notable is the WWE’s attempt at a Big Brother style show. The Low Blow is proud to present the highlights of this program, so please, enjoy!

Day 1 – The housemates are looking around the house for the first time

Matt: What, no computer?

Christian: Well, so long as there’s a toilet I ain't complaining

Orton: Feh. Who needs those?

Day 5 – What started as a simple feud has escalated into a brawl between two of the housemates

Matt: Hey, Copeland, what you gonna do for a face when Godzilla wants his freaking ass back?

Edge: Screw you, redneck

*Security steps in*

Guard 1: ….Well I think it’s obvious what we gotta do here

*They grab Hassan*

Hassan: What the-! What the hell did I do?!

Guard 2: Sir, please calm down, you’re too dangerous for this show

Daivari: Excuse me sirs, I do not wish to tell you how to do your jobs, but I must question your motives as to why you are apprehending my associate, as he has committed no wrong so far.

Guard 1:…Mace him

Daivari: SWEET MERCIFUL MOTHER OF ALLAH! MY EYES!

Day 14 – The housemates are keeping themselves entertained

Jericho: So I says to Mabel I says….

*Edge and Matt are grappling in the background*

Matt: Hey guys, look! Edge and me are still fighting!

Christian: yeah, that’s...that’s wonderful

Edge: Look! It’s cool because it’s REAL

Jericho: yes, that’s swell…

*Pause*

Matt:….Dude I don’t wanna play no more

Edge: Me neither. Oh and dude, you can have her back. You can catch something just by LOOKING at her.

Matt: You serious? I'd rather go out with a leper. Got less chance of infection

Jericho: So anyway I says to Mabel I says…

Viscera: You guys talking about me?

Day 27 – Big Brother has assigned the housemates the completely pointless task of performing a karaoke

Kane: Oh Katie, Well you came and you lay without breathing… but I threw you away, oh Katie…
well I held you and kept you from moving…
I need you today, oh Katie

Jericho:…Wrong…on so many levels…

Orton: Well, it’s what’s paying for our weekly budget, and at least it can’t get much worse

Viscera: Hey everybody have ya seen mah balls they’re big and salty and brown!

Benoit: My ears are soiled…

HBK: In all my years, I’ve never seen ANYthing as horrifying as this…And I once tagged with Billy Gunn

Edge: Heh. Zing.

Christian: If ya ever need a quick, pick me up, just stick my balls…

Day 30 – To stir things up, a new housemate has been added into the house

Frankie Kazarian: Hey guys! I……Oh, well this won’t do. *Leaves*

RVD: ….Man, what a bitch

Day 36 – Eddie is in the Diary room to make a private announcement

Eddie: Just let me make it clear that I love my/Rey’s son Dominick! And I am going to win this, on behalf of every father who loves his son! For every man who has loved a child!

*Cut to Feinstein watching the TV*

Feinstein: Finally! My voice shall be heard!

Day 40 – It is now time to announce the winner of WWE Big Brother. The finalists are Christian and Orlando Jordan

*Christian and Jordan are waiting for the announcement*

Christian: So, uh….how about those ‘personalities’, huh? Great aren’t they? You got one?

Jordan: I don’t see the point in them

Christian: yeah, I gathered

Announcer: And the winner, of WWE Big Brother, and of the prize of a well deserved push, is……ORLANDO JORDAN!

The Entire Wrestling Fanbase: WHAT THE FUCK

Well, my friends, there you have it. One must credit WWE for trying something *cough* creative…and who knows? They may still have more such ideas up their sleeve.

Let's pray the fuck not.

See ya next time

Joe.