MONDAY NITRO: THE LOST RECAPS
On tonight’s show...Where the fuck is Eric Bischoff? (no one apparently knows or really cares) Who is the third man, brother? And HOLY FUCK DID “MEAN” GENE JUST GRAB WOMAN’S ASS!!? Get the answers to all these questions and MORE WCW tomfoolery in this week’s *SPECIAL PAY-PER-VIEW* episode of…
WCW Old School Recap of Complete Awesomeness!
Date: July 7th, 1996
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Psychosis Vs Rey Mysterio, Jr.
Surprisingly enough, the match start off with both wrestlers going for more low key submission holds instead of a high paced opening routine. That does eventually come though and Psychosis gains the upper hand with a Spinning Heel Kick and a sick looking Suicide Dive to the outside. Back in the ring, Psychosis hits a Scoop Slam/Leg Drop combo, but since his last name isn’t Hogan, he only gets a 2 count...I’ve never really gotten that, how the hell can you “perfect” a Leg Drop to the point where you can win matches with it? “OH MY GOD! Look at the way he’s sitting in mid-air!!” Anyway, Psychosis follows up with a Top Rope Guillotine Leg Drop for another 2 count before hitting another Leg Drop on the apron (3 LEG DROPS!? THE HUMANITY!!...foreshadowing) and running Rey over with a Clothesline. Tenay talks about Rey’s idol growing up being SCOTT FUCKING STEINER!...which might actually explain the steroid rumours from a few years back...too bad he didn’t go for the medieval headgear as well. Rey gets back in the match by hitting first a Hurricanrana on the outside, and then another one in the ring directly into a pin for a 2 count. Rey begins to work over Psychosis’ knee...which is sort of a heel thing to do, but hey, who am I to argue. Psychosis regains the advantage with a huge Hot Shot on the top rope and then a HUGE Senton from the top rope to the floor on the outside. Psychosis slows the pace down a little bit in the ring, but that just allows Rey to fight back and eventually get another Hurricanrana which he follows up with a Springboard Dropkick to Psychosis on the apron and ANOTHER Hurricanrana to the floor. Eventually, Rey goes for another one inside the ring, but FINALLY Psychosis has him scouted (only took getting hit with the same fucking move like 4 times) and plants him with a Sit-Out Powerbomb for a 2 count. Psychosis goes for a Splash Mountain Powerbomb in the corner, but Rey counters into...you guessed it, a Hurricanrana and pins him for the 3 count.
WINNER: Rey Mysterio, Jr.
Tony Schiavone claims that Mysterio won with a move that we HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE...you know...apart from the one BILLION times he did it tonight. “Mean” Gene is standing by backstage with Konan who has to recap the ending of the match we just saw for Okerlund since apparently he didn’t get it...no, I’m not kidding, Konan just gave a freaking play-by-play of the end to the resident retard. Gene says that Flair seems overconfident and Konan says that maybe he has every reason to be...errr, kay? That’s the...err...spirit. Konan says that he might not have an entourage like Flair has, but he’ll destroy anyone who tries to interfere.
Big Bubba w/Jimmy Hart Vs John Tenta, Carson City Silver Dollar Match...or in layman’s terms...A FUCKING BAG OF COINS ON A POLE MATCH!
Yes, 3 years before Vince Russo made his entrance in WCW, I have the honour of recapping my first Random Object on a Pole Match. When I recapped their encounter at The Great American Bash, I was sitting and wondering how it could get any worse...well this certainly has every chance of being that. John Tenta has a spiffy new moustache due to half his beard getting shaven...sadly he didn’t go for keeping the other half of that as well, that would’ve been sweet...well as sweet as anything involving John Tenta could ever be.
Look, I will gladly suffer for these recaps...I mean, I’m recapping WCW, how can I not? This match however basically consists of one man beating on the other and then going to climb the pole until the other man pulls him down and the cycle repeats itself, it’s like watching a gif repeat itself over and over and over. FINALLY something new happens and Big Bubba gets out a leather strap and chokes Tenta with it to which Schiavone says “anything goes...apparently”...it’s wonderful that I’m not the only one uncertain of the rules. This better not result in a Leather Strap Match. Bubba then tapes Tenta to the ropes with athletic tape and beats him up with the strap. Bubba pulls out a pair of scissors and goes to cut the other half of Tenta’s hair but gets a Low Blow for his troubles. Tenta then uses the scissors to cut himself loose and cut one of the straps holding onto the pole before Bubba regains control with a Spinebuster that Schiavone almost creams in his pants over. Bubba then motions for Jimmy Hart to climb the pole which he does, but Tenta nails Bubba with a Powerslam and then steals the bag of dollars when Hart climbs down. One shot to Bubba’s jaw later (which Bubba sells beautifully) and Tenta wins it.
WINNER: John Tenta
It surprisingly could’ve been much worse. Tenta places two coins on Bubba’s eyes before we cut to the announcers talking about the Main Event and Bischoff still missing. Schiavone for some reason has a lei around his neck as Heenan says that he has asked everybody about who the third man could be, EVEN PEOPLE WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WRESTLING...wow, yeah that’s the way to go dude. We go backstage to Okerlund who’s standing by with Sting, Luger & Savage. “Mean” Gene asks Savage who he thinks the third man is and Macho says that he doesn’t care because he’s gonna destroy whoever it is no matter what. Luger says that they’ve talked very loudly over the past couple of months (he sounds like my dad, “damn those loud kids!”) but tonight actions speak louder than words. Sting says that the unknown gives him goosebumps...which is apparently a good thing...I dunno, he’s ready too though.
Diamond Dallas Page (c) Vs “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, Taped Fist/Lord of the Ring Match
WTF!? Is that a camera with crab claws!? So yeah, both men have their fists taped...and, err...that’s it. Duggan gets a “USA! USA! USA!” chant going...because Page isn’t from USA or...no, wait, he is. DDP tapes Duggan’s feet to the ring post and removes Hacksaw’s tape from his hands before the referee frees Duggan since it isn’t a Taped Feet Match. Duggan however gains control over the match as Schiavone calls the Battle Bowl ring as “one of the most prized possessions in wrestling”...yeeeaaaah, totally, it’s almost as prestigious as...well...fuck all basically. Anyway, Duggan remains in control until he tries to re-enter the ring after having been to the outside and Page kicks the rope which of course Low Blows him. One Diamond Cutter later and that is all.
WINNER: Diamond Dallas Page
Short and sweet...or at least short. After the match, Duggan knocks DDP out after re-taping his fists. We cut to backstage where Okerlund is standing by with The Giant, Kevin Sullivan & Jimmy Hart. “Mean” Gene says that things don’t look good for The Taskmaster because Arn & Benoit will double team him...seriously, when did this guy become a “plucky underdog”? Sullivan says that they have home court advantage and he has something burning in his gut...well, nothing a little Pepto-Bismol won’t fix. Okerlund asks The Giant if he would call Sullivan a weak link and Giant goes on a rant about how awesome The Taskmaster is.
We then go to Lee Marshall (!?) who is standing by on the ramp with Chris Benoit & Arn Anderson. Marshall asks Arn about them getting a title shot on Nitro, but Arn wants to talk first about The Outsiders. He says that despite not liking any of them, they are in for the fight of their life against Sting, Luger & Savage. Arn & Benoit then say that they will beat The Dungeon tonight and get the World Title shot...well sometimes basic is okay I suppose.
Public Enemy (Johnny Grunge & Rocco Rock) Vs The Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs & Jerry Sags), Four Man Dog Collar Match
Seriously, when will this fucking feud end!? Public Enemy are okay sometimes, but The Nasty Boys on the other hand...I think I might go on record and call them the worst Tag Team of all time. Well this is of course a Double Dog Collar Match which means that Brian Knobbs is tied to Johnny Grunge and Jerry Sags is tied to Rocco Rock...hilarity will ensue. Well I’m not gonna recap this shit...stuff happens...they brawl, that’s it. “Highlights” including Brian Knobbs hitting Grunge with an inflatable shark, Sags hitting Rocco Rock with a surfboard and Rocco Rock diving off a lifeguard chair...and yes it’s as ridiculous as it sounds. On top of that, most of the “action” is shown in split-screen which just makes everything even more random and hard to follow. One pretty sick spot though happens when Rocco Rock goes to try and put Sags through a table only for Sags to get up and yank the chain which causes Rocco to bounce off the table without breaking it. Sags the places Rock on the table and tries to Elbow Drop him through it from the second rope, but it still won’t break! Holy fuck that is one resilient table! Finish comes in an okay inventive spot as Johnny Grunge is thrown over the top rope and “hanged” while Rocco Rock gets thrown into and Clotheslined by the chain for a 3 count.
WINNER: The Nasty Boys
Decent finish to an otherwise clusterfuckery, ridiculous mess of a match. Hopefully this is the end, because I can’t deal with anymore between these two teams. Tony even admits that it was a mess- OH GOD NO! The two teams continue to fight after the match as Public Enemy jumps The Nasty Boys and lays them out...DAMN IT! FINISH THIS ALREADY!!!
“Mean” Gene is standing by with 4 cops backstage and talks forever about the anticipation building for the Main Event. Apparently he is standing outside The Outsiders’ locker room and...errm...that’s it...he sends us back to the ring...why thanks for that update.
Dean Malenko (c) Vs Disco Inferno, WCW World Cruiserweight Title Match
Disco comes out and says that after winning the title everyone are invited to his disco dance party. SOOOOOUUUL TRAAAAIN! Dean Malenko comes out and he does not look amused...then again, I’m pretty sure his face would actually rupture if he tried to crack a smile. Malenko slaps Disco to open up the match and throws him out of the ring where he beats him around for a bit. Back in the ring, Disco actually pushes Malenko to the mat only for him to handspring back up and continues the assault. Malenko gets a close 2 count after a nasty Brainbuster before locking in a variety of submission holds. The crowd is pretty dead for this one as Disco Inferno is getting obliterated, but suddenly Disco bounces back with a series of fists and a Clothesline, a Hot Shot and a Front Russian Legsweep for a 2 count until Malenko goes back to the submissions. The story of this match is apparently how Disco Inferno is a little more focused and a little less disco dancing tonight as he doesn’t pose as much when he gets some offence in...yes, they are indeed asking us to buy Disco Inferno as a threat on the basis that he DANCES LESS! He does hit a couple of Neckbreakers and almost gets the pin as Malenko goes for a Texas Cloverleaf and Disco rolls him up. Disco gets another close count after a Clothesline, but after struggling to get Malenko over with a Backslide, the champion hits a knee to Disco’s gut and hits the Double Underhook Powerbomb/Texas Cloverleaf combo for the win.
WINNER: Dean Malenko
It took a LOOONG time to get going, but the finishing 5 minutes was actually quite good. Seriously, the announcers really ought to stop mentioning the Main Event & Bischoff missing every 2 minutes, it’s really getting annoying. I mean I know it’s really a one match show, but still...stop making it seem that way.
Joe Gomez Vs Steve McMichael w/Debra
Yeah, this will be a true wrestling classic. Mongo and Gomez starts off by exchanging blows and Mongo’s lip is split open almost instantly. The announcers talk about this version of the Horsemen being the best ever with Heenan arguing that it’s due to no one knowing Mongo’s style...errm, that would be because is “style” is sucky wrestling. McMichael gains the advantage with a Mule Kick in the groin and a punt kick in the gut which he rather amusingly signals as being “good”. Mongo locks in a Sleeper Hold but Joe Gomez counters into a Chinbreaker, only for Mongo to counter an Irish Whip into a Neckbreaker. McMichael goes for a Figure-4 Leg lock, but Gomez rolls him up for a 2 count. Gomez counters a Powerbomb attempt into a Backbody Drop and rallies back with Dropkicks and...errm...Dropkicks...Gomez goes for a Sunset Flip which Mongo botches by awkwardly sitting down which really didn’t look intentional. Mongo however hits a Tombstone Piledriver immediately afterwards and gets the anti-climactic win...then again, I’m pretty sure every result in this match would be anti-climactic...choosing between Steve McMichael & Joe Gomez as the preferred winner is almost like choosing between death by hanging or death by watching a match between Joe Gomez & Steve McMichael on repeat until you claw your own jugular open.
WINNER: Steve McMichael
Backstage, “Mean” Gene is standing by with Ric Flair, Miss Elizabeth, and Woman, the latter which he stares affectionately at for a few seconds before continuing. HA! I knew it from the moment he checked out her ass at Superbrawl!
Here’s the picture for good measure, and if you have a spare moment on your hands, (http://thewrestlingfan.forumco.com/topic~TOPIC_ID~892.asp) Here’s the link to an UNPUBLISHED Superbrawl ’96 rant on the TWF board. ANYWHO! Okerlund asks Flair about his match with Konan tonight and then proceeds to not listen at all, instead just smiling at Woman. Flair says that you can never have enough trophies and after he wins tonight and Arn & Benoit wins later, he will have both the US Title and the World Title after Nitro tomorrow...btw, he interspersed all that with randomly singing La Cucaracha for some odd reason. “Mean” Gene then creepily talks to the women about a “great big party” later and Woman says that she and him will have a private one and- HOLY FUCK DID GENE JUST GRAB HER ASS! AWESOME!
Konnan (c) Vs Ric Flair w/ Miss Elizabeth & Woman, WCW United States Heavyweight Title Match
Slightly more masculine outfit for Konnan this time around (and he apparently got an extra “n” in his name as well), but just as weird, as he looks like a circus ringmaster or maybe the lost member of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band. Flair surprisingly shakes Konnan’s hand before locking up and appearing surprisingly equal. Tony says that if they don’t find Bischoff tonight, hopefully they will by tomorrow...wouldn’t it be an idea to fucking notify the police if he doesn’t appear!? Konnan gains the upper hand as he locks in a Bow & Arrow submission hold and follows it up with two Gorilla Press Slams before Clotheslining him to the floor. Konnan then hits a Plancha that knocks down not only Flair but Miss Elizabeth as well. Konnan climbs the top rope but Woman shakes the bottom rope violently RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE to make him tumble...okay, granted he was looking at Konnan when she did it, but didn’t he stop and wonder about why he suddenly just tumbled off the top rope!? “Fuck it, it’s probably just a heart attack or something”. This surprisingly doesn’t give Flair the obvious advantage, but a minute later when he distracts the referee, allowing Woman to kick Konnan in the groin...yeah, that does. The cheating continues as Liz distracts the referee which allows Flair to THROW KONNAN OVER THE TOP ROPE! COME ON! NO! Oh, and Woman rakes him in the eyes on the outside as well. Flair hits a Vertical Suplex and gets a 2 count before locking in a Reverse Chinlock but Konnan eventually gets up and fights back with right hands culminating in 10 Punches in the corner followed up by a Springboard Dropkick to Flair on the apron. Back in the ring, Konnan attempts a Sunset Flip only for Flair to punch him, but as Flair goes for the Figure-4, Konnan rolls him up for a 2 count. Instead Konnan locks in a Figure-4 but after a short struggle, Flair manages to get to the rope. Flair counters a rush into the corner with an Elbow but then climbs the turnbuckle and we know how that goes. Konnan hits a Bulldog and a Rolling Clothesline but both pins only get 2. Konnan gets a Crucifix Pin of sorts but Liz has the referee distracted and Woman after what seems like ages nails Konnan with her shoe which allows Flair to get the pin with his feet on the ropes.
WINNER and NEW WCW United States Heavyweight Champion: Ric Flair
Talk about a bit of odd booking, why the hell does Flair need the US Title!? Pretty good match though, best match so far. We cut to backstage where “Mean” Gene is eavesdropping outside of The Outsiders’ locker room where they apparently have been joined by the third man. Gene says that the voice sounds somewhat familiar, but as it is muffled he can’t quite place it...well I would imagine the amount of times the word “Brother” was used would tip him off, but I digress. Okerlund then in all seriousness asks Schiavone if he has any idea who the third man might be...you don’t think he would’ve maybe mentioned something if he did!? Heenan then quite reasonably asks Gene to maybe pay the cops to find out if they saw who it was, but Gene gets offended and doesn’t even ask them because he thinks it’s just another Heenan scheme!? Seriously, he’s the worst backstage “journalist” of all time. Apparently they still haven’t heard from Bischoff either...wow, you would think that the alarm bells were starting to ring...I mean for Christ’s sake Okerlund is standing right next to four cops, why the fuck can’t he just tell them that he’s missing!? Jesus H. Christ!...the H stands for Herbert.
The Horsemen (Chris Benoit & Arn Anderson) Vs The Dungeon of Doom (The Giant & Kevin Sullivan w/ Jimmy Hart)
The Dungeon jumps The Horsemen on their way to the ring and it is on. Steve McMichael suddenly runs out and hits The Giant with the Halliburton (you would think that he had taken that money to the bank or something by now) which causes The Giant to chase him backstage and leaving Sullivan behind to fend for himself against both Benoit & Arn. It doesn’t take too long though before The Giant returns, but the damage might already have been done. I kinda thought this match would be a No DQ match, but it doesn’t really seem that way. Sullivan repeatedly tries to fight back, but The Horsemen manages to keep him isolated. The first pin attempt however is by Sullivan as The Giant hits Anderson with a Big Boot from the apron, but Benoit makes the save and subsequently tags in. Benoit gets Sullivan up on the turnbuckle and looks to go for a Superplex, but The Giant gets in the ring and distracts him which causes him to attempt a Cross Body Block, The Giant however catches him and throws him into Arn instead, but Double A still gets up before Sullivan can get the tag. Benoit and Arn keep isolating The Taskmaster until he manages to throw Arn into the turnbuckle which Benoit was climbing. This buys Sullivan enough time to get the tag which the crowd absolutely loves. Benoit for some reason “kidnaps” Sullivan and drags him over to the broadcast booth while back in the ring, The Giant dominates Anderson and hits the Chokeslam for the win.
WINNERS: The Dungeon of Doom
After the match, The Taskmaster walks away from the booth but is jumped by Benoit who then drags him back to the ring where The Giant apparently has left without his “boss” and Benoit plants him with a Super Back Suplex before he starts stomping the shit out of him. Woman then makes her way out and tries to reason with Benoit to stop but it takes The Giant coming out before he actually does so. The Giant carries Kevin Sullivan from the ring to the back.
We get a VERY crappy video package summarizing the hostile takeover in the most 90s way possible. We get the always ignorant Michael Buffer to make the introductions, I’m not saying he’s not a good ring announcer, he just always has the air of a guy being paid a ridiculous some of money for not caring about WCW one bit and not really wanting to be there...not unlike 90 percent of the roster for the majority of WCW’s run.
The Outsiders (Kevin Nash, Scott Hall & ???) Vs Team WCW (Sting, Lex Luger & “Macho Man” Randy Savage)
Kevin Nash & Scott Hall comes out alone without their third man and “Mean” Gene comes out to try and learn who the third man is. Scott Hall says that we know too much already and that the third man indeed is in attendance, but Kevin Nash says that they are more than capable of taking care of their opponents by themselves for now.
Hall and Luger get in each other’s faces and are chosen to start the match for their teams. Hall flicks his toothpick into Luger’s face and gets slapped for his trouble, Hall then hits a few punches but Luger explodes with a Running Forearm to Hall and a Clothesline to Nash on the apron. Hall pushes Luger out of the ring, but Luger gets up on the apron quickly and Clotheslines Hall before getting caught and held in a Front Facelock by Nash in the corner. Sting chooses to hit Nash with a Stinger Splash, but that takes Luger out as well and apparently knocks him out cold. Sting & Savage check on Luger after Savage takes out Hall on the outside, and the EMTs come out and bring Luger out on a stretcher as we see the situation again in replay.
The match is now two on two and Hall slaps Sting which just causes Sting to completely destroy Hall with punches and a Face Buster before tagging out to Savage who...errm...jumps straight into a hard right hand from the turnbuckle. Hall and Sting then distract the referee by fighting which allows Nash to hit Savage with Snake Eyes. Savage however comes back and lays it into Hall forcing him to tag in Nash. Savage initially fights back but Nash uses his strength to take him down. Macho Man manages to get a tag to Sting who the immediately walks into a beatdown, and a big one at that. The Outsiders start to isolate Sting and double team him while Savage continually tries to interfere...which of course just allows Hall & Nash to dominate him even more...good plan Macho. Hall hits a Fallaway Slam before tagging in Nash who just kicks Sting around which incenses Savage even more. Sting however counters an Irish Whip with a low Dropkick to the knee of Nash, but Big Sexy gets the tag first and Hall cuts Sting off from tagging out himself. Hall locks in an Abdominal Stretch as Tony Schiavone screams that they need to hurt these two using Heenan tactics which is a nice touch to how special this angle is. Nash gets in the ring and locks in an Abdominal Stretch of his own, before releasing him and letting him crawl towards Savage, almost reaching him before Hall tags in and cuts him off. Hall throws Sting over the top rope behind the referee’s back (dastardly, I know) which results in Savage running to his aide with a chair before helping Sting up as Hall and Nash lurk in the background in a brilliant image...this might not be the most technically sound match of all time, but it is so well told and built up it’s insane. Back in the ring, Hall & Nash continues to beat Sting up until Sting counters an Irish Whip with a kick and then a flurry of punches while ducking Nash’s attempts to retaliate, he then hits Hall and jumps onto Nash while reaching out and just making the tag to Savage. Macho Man goes up top as Hall gets in the ring and...dances? DA-DA-DA-DAAAANCING REEEPLAAAY!
Proof that the “flailing arm” defence rarely works. ANYWHO! Savage nails Hall with the Top Rope Double Axe Handle 3 times (one of them to the outside) before he turns his attention to Nash and...gets a Low Blow. The referee starts the 10 count before the crowd explodes as Hulk Hogan makes his way out. Tony & Dusty roars in delight and Heenan questions his allegiance before he gets in the ring and tears his shirt off...before nailing Savage with 3 Leg Drops as Hall counts a pin after chucking the referee out of the ring.
WINNERS: No Contest
The crowd is absolutely stunned for a couple of minutes before the jeers fill the arena and the fans chuck garbage into the ring. “Mean” Gene comes out and asks Hogan “what in the world are you thinking?”. Hogan demands Gene to ask the crowd to shut up before he will speak which just causes the fans to get even more riled up. Gene says that what Hogan just did made him sick to his stomach, but Hogan just responds by saying that these three men is the future of wrestling (a statement he apparently still thinks is true today) and that they are the New World Order of wrestling. Hogan says that he made everyone rich “up north” until Hogan became bigger than the organization. He says that Turner offered him money, movies and world class matches, but now he’s bored (ironically enough, that’s the feeling most commonly associated with Hulk Hogan matches). Hogan says that not only are they gonna take over the wrestling business, but they will destroy everything in their path. Hogan says that all the trash in the ring represents all the fans as he did everything for them for 2 years, but he made wrestling what it is today, he then finishes off with “whatcha gonna do, when Hulk Hogan and the New World Organization runs wild on you” and shaking Okerlund a little bit. Schiavone says that we have seen the end of Hulkamania and then closes off with the immortal words “For Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes, “Mean” Gene Okerlund...I dunno...I’m Tony Schiavone, Hulk Hogan you can go to hell...we’re out of here...straight to hell”. Brilliant...absolutely brilliant...and I’m not even being sarcastic this time.
WCW – Aaaah, Good Times: The last three matches were very good, and each had brilliant storytelling...but nothing was better than the shock of Hogan turning heel, his promo afterwards, and then Schiavone’s brilliant sign off line...it just became the greatest angle of all time...sadly it can only go one way now, but I’ll be there every step of the way.
WCW – WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING!!!: Well the majority of the undercard just didn’t feel like Pay-Per-View calibre matches...and what the hell was up with Bischoff missing and us not getting a reason behind it...we damn well better on Nitro.
Overall, the last three matches made the show, with the last one especially being something special. It wasn’t particularly well wrestled, but it worked well in the story they were trying to tell and that is almost just as good in my book. Things are definitely gonna change from now on, the nWo has arrived. Remember to read everything else, it might not be tons these days, but it’s still good stuff. Remember that feedback is highly appreciated by all. Until next time, I’m Esben Evans, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
TWF FLASHBACK
November 2006
SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!
With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).
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