THE BLEAK IN REVIEW
Yeah yeah, I know I haven't
written a letter in a while. But honestly, what have
you people given me? Certainly not high cholesterol,
scabies, and crotch rot, because I already had all
three. Today, I’m going to try something different,
since my in house therapist (that anti-curmudgeonly
unicorn fondling sister of mine Morgan) suggested
that instead of directing my wrestling related anger
toward someone, I should switch it up a tad.
Therefore, I now direct my wrestling related anger
toward LOTS of people! All the rage, with extra zing
Here goes, fucktards.
Hogan and Eric Bischoff are on their way to TNA,
hmm? WCW in 1994. WWE in 2002. Remember how both of
these entities were set back quality wise? Dixie
Carter doesn’t. So without any ‘de ja twat’ to jog
her memory, she’s going to destroy a perfectly
good---well, badly limping promotion by cutting out
any semblance of a good leg it has. I’m never going
to watch TNA again! Wow, I’ve been saying that for
seven years running! Hooray consistency!
Brutus Beefcake vs. Brutus Magnus? I’m SO there! So
there to piss all over it like Ozzy Osbourne at the
Speaking of Ozzy, the Prince of
Darkness is hosting Raw this Monday, along with his
hanger-on wife Sharon. Only if he bites off
Hornswoggle’s head will I be interested. I’ll NEVER
forgive Ozzy for stealing the British Bulldogs’
spotlight at Wrestlemania 2. No wonder Randy Rhodes
intentionally crashed that plane.
Batista’s a heel. Still not interested, Tendonitis
Mickie James is branching out into
country music? God bless my mute button. Though
she’s getting WAY too fat for my liking. I know in
country music, a woman needs to be thin and svelte,
and she’s just not cutting it. A man of my
standards, I require the woman to be in shape. I
have taste, after all.
So it looks like Kofi
Kingston’s getting a push, sans the comical accent.
When the push fails, I’m going to bitch that WWE
wasted a good talent. Then WWE will cut him, and
I’ll say WWE held down Kofi and doesn’t know what
they’re missing. Then Kofi will sign with TNA and
I’ll call him washed up. It’s good to have a
Stop the presses! Chris Jericho has
won at six pay per views in a row! Will I finally
stop bitching about his lack of push? Well, no.
Kevin Nash defended the safety of the X Division
guys in a promo and got suspended for it. My world
Desmond Wolfe? DESMOND WOLFE?!?
TNA, WHAT KIND OF FUCKING STUPID GROIN-GRAFTING NAME
IS…..oh, Nigel created it himself? Umm….can I still
hate TNA anyway?
Jim Ross, please come back.
Byron Saxton SUCKS. I mean, I didn’t watch any of
ECW, but I can infer, because I know what I’m
talking about. Like when I said that Matt Striker
would never be a good announcer. Umm….
out. If you have any suggestions, remember that
you’re just wasting my time.
Blow me now or