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THIS PAST WEEK

TWF BROKEN NEWS
Join intrepid and insipid reporters Catherine Perez and Sean Carless as they blow the lid off the stories that have fallen through the cracks, or between them, ahem, with BROKEN NEWS: Stories Straight from the Horse's Ass. In this edition: a U.S. hero with golden trunks becomes a homeless man!

WHEN WRESTLING MERCHANDISE GOES BAD
In a new feature here at TWF, join Sean Carless as he looks at those items lost to time/better sense. This week's installment: WWE FINGER RINGS. Yes. Fingers. WWE is PG now and don't want you gettin' any funny ideas. So there.

THE 2010 FANNY AWARDS
84 years of offensiveness, and pretending there was an additional 77 years! It's our version of WrestleMania and the Oscars, all rolled into one! Only with more rape jokes! Or any!

THE ROCKTAGON w/ JAMES SWIFT
HEY, HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT A MID '90S WWF BROADCAST WOULD BE LIKE WITH INCESSANT FOOTBALL PUNS AND OUTDATED CULTURAL REFERENCES? WONDER NO MORE, AS HE RECAPS THE INFAMOUS "RAW BOWL" FROM NEW YEAR'S DAY, 1996!

TV REPORTS

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD
This week, Dolly the sheep would be proud as the cloning of DAVE is complete: BAAWWWtista is finally here!

THE TNA IMPACT RANT
This week, pigs gettin' physical draws the big ratings. But enough about Matt Hardy's TNA debut!

THE WWE SMACKDOWN RANT
This week, WWE creates another Nexus, and fails science.

THE WWE NXT RANT
This week, a SLINGSHOT challenge. But not in the way we truly wish. (Just how far can a 6'5" dude in black trunks fly? We will unfortunately never find out.)

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD
This week, CM Punk gets high... Up? [/got nothing]

STALK US

  

Note from Catherine: Hey there, readers~! We're still working out a few bugs and fuck-ups in the new coding, so bear with us!

July 27, 2014

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: VINCE & DIXIE.

by Sean Carless

Apparently news has surfaced that Spike TV has opted to not renew TNA Impact. And well, we *could* write a long soliloquy about how Vince Russo ran another company into the ground, or how Dixie's unwavering loyalty to him in lieu of Spike wanting him gone perhaps cost her her company, but holy shit, we just did. And well, here's how the last ever Impact should clearly end in October:

July 25, 2014

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: WHEN IT REIGNS, IT POURS.

by Sean Carless

Despite a serious neck injury, Daniel Bryan apparently foiled a robbery of his own home today (kelp and plaid shirts were said to be strewn everywhere) in a story covered by many news outlets. Of course being the troublemaker I am, I immediately pictured Vince McMahon opting to somehow spin it all into further putting over toy-de-jour Roman Reigns in lieu. And ya, this is what it took to update TWF after 3 years. (Click on the image to see it full size.)

February 16, 2012

WELCOME TO ZACKASS

by Sean Carless

January 8, 2012

SKYRIM MACHO DRAGON MOD

December 31, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK’S EPISODE: UFC 141: LESNAR VS. OVEREEM! FEATURING ETHNICALLY DRIVEN VIOLENCE (WITH A HAPPY ENDING!), JON FITCH GETTING HIS FACE DECISIONED AND THE LESNAR ERA COMING TO AN END IN THE UFC! ALL THIS AND MORE, RIGHT HERE!

December 11, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK’S FEATURE: UFC 140: JONES VS. MACHIDA! FEATURING TITO ORTIZ CRYING LIKE A BABY, FRANK MIR SNAPPING BIG NOG’S ARM LIKE A DORITO CHIP AND JON JONES PULLING A PAGE OUT OF CM PUNK’S PLAYBOOK BY MAKING LYOTO MACHIDA GO TO SLEEP! ALL THIS AND MORE, RIGHT HERE

December 7, 2011

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: KEVIN NASH: MASTER OF THE LADDER MATCH.

by Sean Carless

Tell us this isn't how you also pictured it going down...

November 28, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Stuart Munro

This week: Ice Cold Mike Mizanin opens up a can cup of whoop-ass. Click HERE to read!

November 26, 2011

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: HOW WE'D WRITE JOHN MORRISON OUT OF WWE

by Sean Carless

The scuttlebutt is that JoMo was written out of WWE on the latest Zach Ryder Z! True Long Island Story. But we think it should have gone a different way...

November 21, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Stuart Munro

This week: R-Truth gets Wellnessed got. Click HERE to read!

November 20, 2011

LIVE WWE SURVIVOR SERIES 2011 COVERAGE!

It's the 25th Annual Survivor Series! But does someone get pinned tonight with a clothesline or suplex for old time's sake? Umm, probably not. Titles are on the line! Miz & R Truth play the role of that team that always plays the Globe Trotters. It's a happening! Click HERE for all the discussion, nervous breakdowns and more!

November 16, 2011

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: SURVIVING CALIFORNIA: ONE MAN'S SPIRITUAL JOURNEY OF LIFE & LOVE TO UFC ON FOX AND BACK.

by Sean Carless

I was recently run over. Again. (Seriously.). All looked dark. All looked bleak. I soon realized this was because I have no window in my room, and forgot to pay my power bill. THEN, SUDDENLY, THERE WAS LIGHT. I was healed and back on the road (quite literally) to recovery and to UFC ON FOX. And yes, there is someone on this Earth who actually pays me to do this. This is my road report. Masturbation & tasteless jokes about varying illegalities abound. I talk about maybe 1% of the show. It's a scene, man. I apologize to no one. Click HERE to read!

November 15, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Stuart Munro

This week: New recapper, same show. Click HERE to read!

November 14, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK’S FEATURE: UFC ON FOX: VELASQUEZ VS. DOS SANTOS! THE UFC MAKES ITS NETWORK TELEVISION DEBUT BY ANSWERING THE TIMELESS QUESTION…WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE 59 MINUTES OF LIVE TV TIME TO FILL? Click HERE for all this and MORE!

November 4, 2011

OCCUPY PARTS UNKNOWN!

by Sean Carless


For too long the top 1% of face-painted in our country have received the lion's share of wealth, tax breaks, and repeated delivery of clotheslines and/or flying shoulder-tackles . And this happens and is tolerated despite there being enough DESTRUCITY for everyone! Our forefathers and of course the skeletons, did not make the supreme sacrifice so only the 1% could only prosper and make little sense during interviews. We did not overcome the Warlords (and the Barbarians) of international conflict over seas to be left with nothing but the tassels on our arms.

For too long, the breaks have been relegated to those in our One Warrior Nation who insist on using unscrupulous means to maintain their wealth/horde their multi-colored belts.

Out there, right now, a Demolition Smash is leisurely golfing amidst our economic strife, while hard working self-employed Parts Unknowners like Papa Shango struggle to make ends meet via cartoony voodoo ceremony/prostitution. It's not right. And it's not fair. Someone get him a coat for god(father)'s sake. He must be freezing in only that Top Hat.

Let's do our part. Lets blow up economic inequality like Warrior blows up 3 minutes into a contest. Lets shake up those ropes of economic greed! Let's make a difference by ASSUMING THE CONTROLS OF OUR NATION'S FUTURE, and TEARING DOWN THE COCKPIT DOORS of economic collapse. Join us as we take it to the streets of Parts Unknown in our puce-colored underwear. Unity will reign. Press-Slams will fly. Let's make a big splash where it hurts (The ribs? The stomach? Both? ). OCCUPY PARTS UNKNOWN. For our Nation's future, today. (Non-Faarooq version).

TWF FLASHBACK

November 2006

SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!

by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).

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