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THIS PAST WEEK

TWF LISTS: TOP 10 MOST DISAPPOINTING WRESTLING "SURPRISES"
Join TWF newcomer Jeff Knott (TWF LTR's umm, Jeff Knott) as he presents the Top 10 most disappointing wrestling "surprises"! The biggest one of course being that we still watch it! (We kid. Kind of.)

BROKEN NEWS: Revenge of the Shit; WWE building Death Star?
Join intrepid and insipid reporter Sean Carless as he once again blows the lid off the stories that have fallen through the cracks, or between them, ahem, with BROKEN NEWS: Stories Straight From The Horse's Ass. In this edition: Revenge of the Shit; WWE building Death Star?

STEPHEN RIVERA'S 4TH FALL
This week, the third edition of Stephen Rivera's 4TH FALL, painstakingly written while you were out frolicking in the forest with your beloved on Valentine's Day.

ENDGAME DVD REVIEW
Join Catherine Perez as she dives right into Kurt Angle's 2009 cinematic masterpiece, ENDGAME, where the term "Angle Slam" guarantees anal prolapse and certain death.

TWF LISTS: TOP 6 ON-AIR BURIALS IN RECENT WWE HISTORY
Join TWF newcomer Zach Levine (TWF LTR's Zach Morrison) as he presents the Top 6 ON-AIR BURIALS IN RECENT WWE HISTORY! Undertaker ain't the only dude always ending up in a hole in this company.

THE ROCKTAGON
Greatly inspired by Colin Firth's performance in "The King's Speech", James Swift stammers his way through UFC 126, featuring a Young Christian Athlete kicking ass for the Lord, Forrest Griffin using his chest hair as a weapon, and Anderson Silva channeling the spirit of Hulk Hogan as he BIG BOOTS his way to another title defense!

TV REPORTS

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD
This week, HHH digs the holes and Creative fills them with bodies.

THE WWE SMACKDOWN RANT
This week, the common man turns on Rey Mysterio! And why wouldn't he? Mexicans took all of those jobs Dusty used to pretend to do!

THE TNA IMPACT RANT
This week: a black trenchcoat, rain, darkness - it's official! Undertaker HAS to be coming to TNA to wrestle Sting!

THE WWE NXT RANT
This week, Bateman Begins Ends.

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD
This week, the Road to WrestleMania is paved in Fruity Pebbles.

STALK US

  

Note from Catherine: Hey there, readers~! We're still working out a few bugs and fuck-ups in the new coding, so bear with us!

July 27, 2014

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: VINCE & DIXIE.

by Sean Carless

Apparently news has surfaced that Spike TV has opted to not renew TNA Impact. And well, we *could* write a long soliloquy about how Vince Russo ran another company into the ground, or how Dixie's unwavering loyalty to him in lieu of Spike wanting him gone perhaps cost her her company, but holy shit, we just did. And well, here's how the last ever Impact should clearly end in October:

July 25, 2014

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: WHEN IT REIGNS, IT POURS.

by Sean Carless

Despite a serious neck injury, Daniel Bryan apparently foiled a robbery of his own home today (kelp and plaid shirts were said to be strewn everywhere) in a story covered by many news outlets. Of course being the troublemaker I am, I immediately pictured Vince McMahon opting to somehow spin it all into further putting over toy-de-jour Roman Reigns in lieu. And ya, this is what it took to update TWF after 3 years. (Click on the image to see it full size.)

February 16, 2012

WELCOME TO ZACKASS

by Sean Carless

January 8, 2012

SKYRIM MACHO DRAGON MOD

December 31, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK’S EPISODE: UFC 141: LESNAR VS. OVEREEM! FEATURING ETHNICALLY DRIVEN VIOLENCE (WITH A HAPPY ENDING!), JON FITCH GETTING HIS FACE DECISIONED AND THE LESNAR ERA COMING TO AN END IN THE UFC! ALL THIS AND MORE, RIGHT HERE!

December 11, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK’S FEATURE: UFC 140: JONES VS. MACHIDA! FEATURING TITO ORTIZ CRYING LIKE A BABY, FRANK MIR SNAPPING BIG NOG’S ARM LIKE A DORITO CHIP AND JON JONES PULLING A PAGE OUT OF CM PUNK’S PLAYBOOK BY MAKING LYOTO MACHIDA GO TO SLEEP! ALL THIS AND MORE, RIGHT HERE

December 7, 2011

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: KEVIN NASH: MASTER OF THE LADDER MATCH.

by Sean Carless

Tell us this isn't how you also pictured it going down...

November 28, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Stuart Munro

This week: Ice Cold Mike Mizanin opens up a can cup of whoop-ass. Click HERE to read!

November 26, 2011

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: HOW WE'D WRITE JOHN MORRISON OUT OF WWE

by Sean Carless

The scuttlebutt is that JoMo was written out of WWE on the latest Zach Ryder Z! True Long Island Story. But we think it should have gone a different way...

November 21, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Stuart Munro

This week: R-Truth gets Wellnessed got. Click HERE to read!

November 20, 2011

LIVE WWE SURVIVOR SERIES 2011 COVERAGE!

It's the 25th Annual Survivor Series! But does someone get pinned tonight with a clothesline or suplex for old time's sake? Umm, probably not. Titles are on the line! Miz & R Truth play the role of that team that always plays the Globe Trotters. It's a happening! Click HERE for all the discussion, nervous breakdowns and more!

November 16, 2011

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: SURVIVING CALIFORNIA: ONE MAN'S SPIRITUAL JOURNEY OF LIFE & LOVE TO UFC ON FOX AND BACK.

by Sean Carless

I was recently run over. Again. (Seriously.). All looked dark. All looked bleak. I soon realized this was because I have no window in my room, and forgot to pay my power bill. THEN, SUDDENLY, THERE WAS LIGHT. I was healed and back on the road (quite literally) to recovery and to UFC ON FOX. And yes, there is someone on this Earth who actually pays me to do this. This is my road report. Masturbation & tasteless jokes about varying illegalities abound. I talk about maybe 1% of the show. It's a scene, man. I apologize to no one. Click HERE to read!

November 15, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Stuart Munro

This week: New recapper, same show. Click HERE to read!

November 14, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK’S FEATURE: UFC ON FOX: VELASQUEZ VS. DOS SANTOS! THE UFC MAKES ITS NETWORK TELEVISION DEBUT BY ANSWERING THE TIMELESS QUESTION…WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE 59 MINUTES OF LIVE TV TIME TO FILL? Click HERE for all this and MORE!

November 4, 2011

OCCUPY PARTS UNKNOWN!

by Sean Carless


For too long the top 1% of face-painted in our country have received the lion's share of wealth, tax breaks, and repeated delivery of clotheslines and/or flying shoulder-tackles . And this happens and is tolerated despite there being enough DESTRUCITY for everyone! Our forefathers and of course the skeletons, did not make the supreme sacrifice so only the 1% could only prosper and make little sense during interviews. We did not overcome the Warlords (and the Barbarians) of international conflict over seas to be left with nothing but the tassels on our arms.

For too long, the breaks have been relegated to those in our One Warrior Nation who insist on using unscrupulous means to maintain their wealth/horde their multi-colored belts.

Out there, right now, a Demolition Smash is leisurely golfing amidst our economic strife, while hard working self-employed Parts Unknowners like Papa Shango struggle to make ends meet via cartoony voodoo ceremony/prostitution. It's not right. And it's not fair. Someone get him a coat for god(father)'s sake. He must be freezing in only that Top Hat.

Let's do our part. Lets blow up economic inequality like Warrior blows up 3 minutes into a contest. Lets shake up those ropes of economic greed! Let's make a difference by ASSUMING THE CONTROLS OF OUR NATION'S FUTURE, and TEARING DOWN THE COCKPIT DOORS of economic collapse. Join us as we take it to the streets of Parts Unknown in our puce-colored underwear. Unity will reign. Press-Slams will fly. Let's make a big splash where it hurts (The ribs? The stomach? Both? ). OCCUPY PARTS UNKNOWN. For our Nation's future, today. (Non-Faarooq version).

TWF FLASHBACK

November 2006

SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!

by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).

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