Updated: TWF ENTERTAINMENT Double-Feature~! (05/16/08) First up, with all the success of the Iron Man movie at
the Box Office, Studios are looking to adapt fellow Avenger team-mate Captain America to the Big Screen. You know who they
have pegged to play the role? No? Well, it'd be coooooler if ya did! Join Sean Carless for a brief (and stupid) look at the
very latest on Caps adaptation to the big screen! Click HERE to read GUESS WHO'S CAPTAIN AMERICA!
Updated: (05/16/08) Dr. Gonzo's
ACERBIC TREATS: ENTERTAINMENT EDITION! That's right, the good Doctor returns with yet another
edition of Acerbic Treats! Featuring Movie Rants, Basketball Predictions, and his Top & Bottom 5 Comic Adaptations! It's
a total mixed-bag of Entertainment goodness, and who knows more about mixed bags than TWF's resident Pharmacist, Doctor Gonzo?
Click HERE to check out the latest edition of the *all new* Acerbic Treats!
Updated:
(05/15/08) Neil Cathan returns with his exclusive coverage
of TNA's SACRIFICE 2008. As in, did you SACRIFICE 30 dollars to watch 3 minute matches that
made no sense, and a cage match that was impossible to see because of the big giant red bars? No? Well, poor Neil did (and
15,00 other people) and he has all your coverage right HERE!
Updated: Matthew Folger returns
with KNIFE-EDGE POPS! (05/15/08) This week's edition: WWE CARES. Click HERE to read!
Updated: Neil McGilloway
returns with the ECW ON SCI FI RANT! (05/14/08) This week, ECW bucks all trends and comes
up with a completely original new angle: A power-hungry General Manager who wrestles and makes his employees lives hell! Ahem.
Plus, Morrison lights Kane's fire, you know 'cause he was all burned alive and John looks like Jim Morrison and never mind,
plus, The Miz beats CM Punk. All of a sudden getting destroyed by Chuck Palumbo with no comeback is looking pretty good. All
this plus more inexplicable Mike Knox pushes! Click HERE to read!
Updated: Cameron Burge returns with the RAW RANT! (05/13/08).This week, RAW is RANDY ORTON'S SHITTY NU-METAL THEME MUSIC. In this edition, Randy continues
to be Super Cena's Doomsday, Jeff Hardy returns a HOUSE O' FIRE (Tee hee), an unlockable Legend helps CAW default man retain
his Tag team Title, and HBK must have dozed off during that whole "Thou Shalt Not Lie" commandment during church. All this,
plus fanboys cry in desperation as John Cena figuratively rides unattainable dream-girl Mickie James post-show! Click HERE to read the Best Damn RAW Rant, Period!
Updated: Anthony Dean returns with the SMACKDOWN RANT! (05/12/08) This week, Smackdown is all "If Vickie was just going to end up booking Undertaker
versus Edge again anyway, why bother stripping Undertaker of the title? And if you hate Undertaker so much, why give him another
title shot? And if you want Edge to be Champion again, and you had the power to take Undertaker's belt away in the first place,
why couldn't you just use that same power and just GIVE edge the belt instead of making him wrestle for it? And why can't
I seem to stop internal monologuing?". All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read the Lowdown on Smackdown!
Updated: Charley Martin returns with the TNA IMPACT REPORT! (05/11/08) This week, a group of women desperately climb on top a pole to earn future opportunities~!
And since this is TNA, and not WWE, it's not Johnny Ace's. Lucky them. Plus, more COMPLETELY HONEST-TO-GOODNESS LEGIT RANDOM
TEAMS are announced! What are the odds that all these enemies and dudes feuding would end up on the same exact team? About
the same as explaining the rules to this tag tournament in under 10 seconds. All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read!
Updated: DEADFACE WALKING!
(05/10/08) Catherine Perez returns with another hilarious (and fully illustrated) look at all the various going-ons this
week in the wacky world of Pro Wrestling! Plus, a special edition of "IF THEY MATED"~! Click HERE to read!
Updated: Esben Evans returns with MONDAY NITRO: THE LOST RECAPS! (05/09/08) A nostalgic look at WCW's side of the Monday Night War! This week's
episode: December 11, 1995! In this edition: It's Oh Bruther Where Art Thou when the God Squad of Hulk Hogan & Sting battle
Ric Flair and Double A! Click HERE to read!
Updated: RETRO RANT: JUDGMENT
DAY~! (05/08/08) With this year's event being just under two weeks away, join Sean carless as we look back to
his Recapitations of Judgment Day's 2003- 2005!:
First, it's JUDGMENT DAY 2003! It's Judgment
Day! You know, the day God decides to just pack it in and end the world, before passing final judgment upon thee for your
many sins. One of which is ordering a pay-per-view being headlined by Kevin Nash. You should be ashamed of yourselves! Enjoy
your eternity! (which for the record is what this PPV felt like...) Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!
Up next is JUDGMENT DAY 2004! It's Judgment Day!
And God decided the best way to punish us heathens for our sins would be to subject us to a Bradshaw main event push! Repent
now before he gets another rematch! Plus, Kurt "Blofeld" Angle torments a blond in lieu of Bond, Mordecai tries Scotty 2 Hotty
for the sin of living in the past, and Booker T trades in his fishin' pole for some voodoo black magic and still comes up
short against The Undertaker. Huh. Clearly, he should have talked to the last voodoo guy who tried to mess with The Undertaker.
Might have saved himself a lot of grief. Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!
And finally, it's JUDGMENT DAY 2005! It's Judgment
Day, a day when God passes judgment and punishment on all of humanity. And what better way to punish people then to subject
them to a 13th consecutive JBL Main Event push? IS HE NOT MERCIFUL? Plus, Bob Holly gets his obligatory Spring-time tag title
shot, Mexican on tiny Mexican crime, Big Show relives a Disney classic, and Orlando Jordan gets away with murder! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!
Updated: BLFK: WRESTLING IN A NUTSHELL:
THE MEXICOOLS! (05/02/08) Sean Carless debuts a new feature here at TWF, packed full of
INSANFORMATION. "Wrestling in a Nutshell" is just that, a quick & dirty look at a past wrestler or angle that you may have
forgotten, or maybe never wanted to remember again! This week's topic: THE MEXICOOLS. Vince McMahon had already parodied and
racially-stereotyped every race, color and creed before, so how why not some wrestling gardeners? I mean, clearly
that's the only occupation in Mexico, right? Click HERE to read!
Updated: Anthony Dean, in an effort to bail us out presents
the PPV RANT: BACKLASH 2008! (05/01/08) It's Backlash! Wrestlemania's retarded little brother,
that may look and act a lot like big brother, but at the end of the day he's stupid and weak and no one likes him. On this
night, we now have 3 WORLD Champions with a combined age of over 120! Yay to the youth moment! Plus, OMG V1 takes MVP's U.S
title ASAP, Edge finds out the hard way that Michelle McCool is the only person on earth allowed in the 69 position with Undertaker
without dying, and HHH does what he does best, bury Randy Orton up to his fucking jarhead. Now if only he'll further follow
his natural biological inclinations and bury that belt, too. All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read, plus the latest info on our quest to hire a new PPV Recapper!
Updated: RETRO RANT: BACKLASH
2007! (04/27/08) With just one day before this year's event, join Sean Carless as we look back at his original
Rant! of Backlash 2007 It's Backlash, the pay-per-view that leaves a bad taste in God's mouth! A night where the WWE Championship
is contested by six-degrees of Marines! A Fake Marine! A Disgraced Marine! A guy who got his ass kicked by nine at once! And
a guy... who lived a few miles from Marineland? Close enough. Plus, Bobby Lashley is no longer the (child-like) face of ECW!
Undertaker and Batista wrestle to a dead (HIYO) heat! Cade & Murdoch generate no heat! Sean has all your bases covered
and more in one of the biggest most jam-packed Rants EVER! Click HERE to read Sean's full insane Recapitation!
Updated: Sean Carless returns with a *brand new" SATIRE: WWE KIDS PREVIEW! (04/25/08) WWE has a brand new business model: Market exclusively
towards children! And they've even started a new website in an effort to hook new pre-teen viewers! This is TWF's interpretation
of that Website! From Jerry Lawler's illegal Diva Search to Story-time with Kane to John Cena teaching your children how to
shit and then create comedy from the waste, it's all covered here and more! Click HERE to read!
Updated: RETRO RANT!
With just a week before this year's event, let us now take a look back to Sean's original Rant of BACKLASH
2006! (04/21/08) It's Backlash! A night of Holy miracles and holy shit moments! A night where God took a powder, The
King of Kings jobbed for your sins, and psychiatrists alike were baffled as to how we can hear the inner most thoughts of
tormented seven foot demons! Just what did WWE have in store for us? Who walked out as Champions, and who just plain didn't
walk out at all? Click HERE to read the Recapitation!
Updated: RETRO RANT! With
just a couple of weeks before this year's event, let us now take a look back to Sean's original Rant of BACKLASH 2005! (04/17/08) Featuring Batista facing the single greatest phenomenon to ever claim millions of
innocent lives: the PEDIGREE~! Plus, Hulk Hogan & Shawn Michaels (D-Generated (e)X Champions?) battling Daivari, and a
guy you're kinda supposed to forget ever existed! It's Backlash, a show so memorable, I don't even remember writing this Rant!
Click HERE to read the Recapitation!
Updated: (04/13/08) TWF
FLASHBACK: With TWF celebrating it's 5th Anniversary, let us again randomly flashback, this time to June of 2003
with Sean Carless's RECAPITATION: BAD BLOOD! RAW's first ever single brand
pay-per-view, and the first rejected name for Rock Hudson's autobiography! The good news is HHH and Kevin Nash went to Hell.
The bad news is they actually came back. Just who walked out (hobbled out) of the UNFORGIVING structure as champion? And can
anything ever make this cage accept an apology? Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!
Updated: VAULT FLASHBACK: MACHO
MADNESS! (04/10/08): Before he went completely insane, Macho Man Randy Savage used to be just kind of insane.
It's 1988. It was all about Macho Madness. There was nothing Macho couldn't do. Bar make sense. And avoid a certain gigantic
orange plague rolling in. This is Coliseum Video's official release, with a retrospective of the first half of Macho Man's
WWF title reign. All his great wars are documented! Honky Tonk Man! Ted DiBiase! Ted DiBiase! Ted DiBiase! Ted Dibiase! And
who could forget Ted Dibiase! (He fought him a few times...). Click HERE to read Sean's full Video review!
Updated: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK
FLASHBACK! (04/09/08) To commemorate TWF's perversely huge 5th Year Anniversary, let us go back 5 years for a random
look at Sean Carless's October 2003 edition, and see how much the Wrestling world has changed! HHH and Undertaker are
World Title mainstays! John Cena is showing up everywhere on TV! Chris Benoit is umm, buried. It's completely and totally
different than anything today! Ahem. Plus, Sean's original coverage of the HHH/Stephanie wedding as it happened and more!
Click HERE to read this piece of TWF nostalgia!
Updated: RETRO RANT!
With just a few weeks before this year's event, let us now take a look back to Sean's original Rant of BACKLASH 2004! (04/07/08) It's Chris Benoit Day and Holocaust Remembrance Day, so what better way to commemorate
both then to destroy a guy with an Iron cross on his tights? Plus, Mick Foley introduces Randy Orton to Malibu's much-less-liked
sister "Truth or Consequences Barbie", and Chris Jericho takes his dollar out of the hide of Christian and Trish Stratus!
Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!
Updated: TWF SAYS GOODBYE:
(04/05/08) With all the outpouring of genuine emotion for the last match of a true WWE legend, we here at TWF do OUR part,
and pay video tribute to the man who's WWE career is now seemingly over. Click HERE to watch our emotional video tribute.
Updated: GAME REVIEW: TNA IMPACT
VIDEO GAME! (04/04/08) Derek Burgan returns with a live account from the Midway event in Orlando, and with
a first look at the brand new TNA Video game! The only place last weekend where you could find TWF's own Derek
Burgan playing video games with Samoa Joe (seriously). Click HERE to read all about it!
Updated: James Walker returns
with the let's just pretend it's not a few days later WRESTLEMANIA 24 RANT~! (04/02/08) It's Wrestlemania!
Where memories are indelibly etched into..something. I forgot what it was again. So much for being indelible. On
this night, The Showcase of the Immortals actually showcases immortals, as Undertaker and Kane walk out with World Titles
err, a World Title and one worthless shiny gold hot potato! Plus, Batista commandeers
a Samoan Bulldozer to dig a new pit of danger, Snoop Dogg undoes 2 years of Maria's straight-edge living with one
kiss, John Cena overcomes the odds of never doing jobs, and HBK euthanizes your beloved pets with karate kicks! All this,
plus much more! Click HERE to read!
Updated:
TWF RADIO returns! (04/01/08) Recorded last
Sunday night after Wrestlemania, It's Episode 4: A NEW HOPELESSNESS~! Featuring, Sean Carless,
a shitty 2 dollar Radio Shack mic, a chemically-induced laid back disposition, and Full Wrestlemania 24 coverage! From
Super Cena's new Kryptonite, to HBK taking Old Yeller behind the barn and kicking him into Euthanasia, to God secretly being
a member of the IWC, Sean has all your Rasslemania bases covered! Plus, Ric Flair-inspired drops and congratulatory, umm,
congratulations to TWF for 5 full Years of Tastelessness! Click HERE to access the live streaming link!
Updated: Special Non-Wrestling Feature:
Sean Carless's "GETTING TO KNOW YOUR JOES: A Look At The Upcoming Live-Action
Film, And An Educational Introduction Into A Phenomenon Greater Than You Or Anything You Could Ever Accomplish." (03/28/08)
There's a live-action adaptation of G.I. JOE brewing, just ignore the part where none of the soldiers in question are
old enough to legitimately join the Military! Join me, Sean Carless, as I break down some of the news and rumors of this film,
and question why half these Joe's would be better off fucking body surfing on the O.C, (JOE.C.?). From there, I then
take you back to the 80's and break down some of the most forgettable/terrible GI JOE figures ever! It's a huge clusterfuck
of a crash course in all things Joe! Click HERE to check it out!
Updated: RETRO RANT: WRESTLEMANIA
23! (03/24/08) With less than a week away before this year's event, wo go back to last year and James Walker's
original look at Wrestlemania 23! It's WRESTLEMANIA! And despite what Saliva says, our ears and our eyes are not bleeding!
And good thing, because that's probably Ebola. In any event, it's the 23rd Grand Daddy of them all! Featuring Mr. Kennedy
becoming Mr. Money in the Bank...Bank! Undertaker buries an Animal in the Pet Cemetery! A Samoan savage is ironically done
in by a spear! Vince McMahon loses his hair and his mind! Steve Austin becomes Rosie O'Donnell's favorite wrestler ever! And
HBK is still batting zero against Marines. (although, there was only one this time!) All this, plus so much more! Click
HERE to read!
Updated:
Sean Carless returns with a *brand new* SATIRE: TNA
STRAIGHT TO DVD RENTALS~!: (03/22/08) Because, WWE isn't the only company capable of producing completely shitty
movies starring wrestlers! From Jay Lethal breaking the spirit of women by keeping them locked away (Hey, just like the real
Randy Savage!) to Curry Man on a murderous rampage throughout South Texas, Sean has all your bases covered and more! Click
HERE to read!
Updated: RETRO RANT: WRESTLEMANIA
22! (03/20/08) With just a little more than a week before this year's event, let's
go back to 2006 and take a look at Sean Carless's original look at Wrestlemania 22! It's Wrestlemania! The Grand Daddy of
Them All! Featuring actual Grand Daddy's wrestling in High profile matches! It was a historic night, that saw one streak end,
two streaks continue, no one streak in a Playboy match, and the need of selling merchandise supersede the demands of a bunch
of angry dudes. Click HERE to read the Recapitation!
Updated: Derek
Burgan returns with this week's WRESTLING ENJOYMENT INDEX! (03/17/08) The WEI is a
weekly look at the events that have made an impact, both positive and negative, on the world of oiled up, hairless men that
pretend to hit each other that we all so love to watch. The range goes from 0-100 with 0 being a world in which every PPV
is like Heroes of Wrestling while a perfect score of 100 would be wrestling nirvana. Just how did this past week's event effect
the WEI scale? Click HERE to find out!
Updated: THE VAULT
with Sean Carless is now updated with a BRAND NEW Recapitation:! WRESTLEMANIA 2! (03/14/08)
We're on to the Road To Wrestlemania, so why not take a quick roadside piss break and journey back to Wrestlemania 2! A card
so terrible, it had to forced on three separate cities just to lessen the blow! And a night, where if the family of the dude
in Nick Hogan's car has their way again, sees HULK HOGAN BEHIND BARS. All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!
Updated: Derek Burgan returns with a *brand new*
GIMMICK TABLE! (03/14/08) This week's spotlight: NEW
T-SHIRTS FROM TNA! Click HERE to read!
Updated: RETRO RANT: WRESTLEMANIA
21! (03/13/08) With just a about 2 week's before this year's event, let's go back to 2005 and take a look at
Sean Carless's original look at Wrestlemania 21! It was the night Wrestlemania went Hollywood! (Sorta!) A night Animals
ran wild, Edge found lost money, HBK & Angle put on a classic, and Wall-Street fell to... Wahlberg? Sounds about
right. All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!
Updated: BLFK: BROKEN NEWZ.
(03/07/08) Last August, I posted a quick teaser of a "Breaking Newz" I had written as it pertained to the then death
of Brian Adams. I forgot to upload the full version, and just discovered recently that this was the case. So, ya, here's the
full intended version. Relevance and timing be damned! Click HERE to read Sean Carless' s BREAKING NEWZ: FUNNY BUSINESS IN THE DEATH OF CRUSH!
