***CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 RIGHT HERE.
 
-If you do any type of suplex 3 times in a row, chances are you will die a horrible tragic death.

-Douglas M. McLain

-When slamming an opponent through the announce table you want to cause as much harm as possible. However, do remember to remove the monitors and mics from the table so you don`t actually hurt anyone seriously.

-Shaun Johnson


- When confronted with a choice to push either a talented big man or an incredibly useless one, for some reason the logical choice is almost always the latter.

- If you have a good big man on your roster, he can still be called "the best big man in the business" even if the competition has bigger and/or better ones.

- Having non-wrestlers be "World Champions" of a brand and supposed heir to a promotion's legacy is somehow a great idea.

- The fact that you're number one Champion is proving to be the most hated babyface of all time isn't a cause for concern at all. On the contrary, it seems to mean he's doing great and the sky is limit for his push.

- If a heel or tweener competes for an impressive time in the Royal Rumble, we are not supposed to care as much as if a bigger face wins in a far lesser time.

- Sev


- If Carlito and Jesus stab you in the kidneys in a bar fight, you'll likely return the very next week without so much as an ace bandage covering your exposed internal organs.

- If the chairman's limosine explodes on national television while he's inside it, the F.I.C. will be called in to investigate as to who committed the heinous act. However, in cases of clear murder or attempted murder (ex: The Undertaker giving Paul Bearer "The Cement Bath," the nWo ramming a truck into The Rock's ambulance, etc.) the F.I.C. will be nowhere in sight to close a case where the culprit(s) literally gloat about it on said national television.

- Just because a wrestler was put over as "too old to even lace-up the boots" 10 years ago when they worked in a different company doesn't mean that they are now! Cough*HOGAN*Cough.

- Despite having some of the most ingenious and creative minds in professional wrestling history under contract, Stephanie McMahon will still draw storyline ideas from "Passions."

- If you are a Raw superstar and want to interfere in a Smackdown or ECW match, make sure you buy a ticket.

- Your manager will inevitably turn on you to go manage your opponent for no real reason.

- A letter from WWE "wishing you the best on future endeavors" does NOT mean for you to take up selling real estate or get your master's degree in astronomy. You are expected to wait by the phone. Be it for 2 months, or 2 years.

- A "tag-team" with more than 2 members is a "stable." A "stable" with more than 4 members is a "faction." A "faction" will always try to take over the company they work for without fear of being fired.

- Contrary to popular belief, the most dramatic moment of WCW Monday Nitro was NOT Ric Flair's return. It was the arrival of Eric Bischoff's boss, Dr. Harvey Schiller. Even though no one had ever heard of him, and after that night, he was never seen, again. It was the greatest night in the history of this great sport.

- The giant zits on Snitsky's back are from puberty. 30 years of puberty.

- Being assigned a horrendous gimmick will always be your fault for not getting it over with the fans. After all, in 2007, we as fans are made to believe pirates would rather be wrestling Batista on Smackdown instead of looting villages and swashbuckling on the deck of the Jolly Roger.

-Dean F.


- If you're over 7' tall, both your height and weight will be announced.

- If you find yourself in a big group with other wrestlers brawling just outside the ring, move. Someone is about to jump on you.

- Pets, family members, and love interests should never be brought to a show unless you're willing to wrestle a match with extremely odd/stupid stipulations to protect them.

- The best way to push your company as the new face of wrestling is to dedicate eighty or more percent of your TV time to wrestlers far past their prime.

- If your opponent starts to build momentum and clotheslines you, get back up at run at him aga-...get back up and run at him a-...aw fuck it, stay down. They'll only get a two count anyway.

-Spike McCullen

 
- Announcers need monitors to call a match even though the ring is six feet in front of them.

- It is in no way disrespecful to advertise a show called 'Burn Notice' on your programming when the owner of the company has just been blown up.

- Having a band called Fuel perform your PPV theme song shortly after this tragedy is also helpful.

- Wrestlers do not "give" or "perform" promos. The "cut" them. Just because.

- It is merely a coincidence that every celebrity who attends a wrestling event has a front row seat.

- Sexual harassment lawsuits are forgotten about if the accused becomes injured.

- It is perfectly normal to watch a match backstage, standing up, three feet from the TV.

- It is also perfectly normal when viewers at home can see you watching the match from backstage, but your TV is still showing the match.

- Wearing a wrestling mask whilst undergoing surgery is not odd at all.

- Seeing a fat man wearing only a thong and a bowtie oiling himself up backstage is not odd at all.

- Howard Finkel and Ron Simmons have jobs with the WWE. However, no one knows what these jobs are.

- No DQ Matches, No Holds Barred Matches, Street Fights and Extreme Rules Matches are actually different.

- Mick Foley's sole purpose now is to appear on TV every so often and lose a match. Kind of like a reverse Hulk Hogan.

- The crowd will chant "USA" even if Jim Duggan's opponent is from the States too.

-HomerJoe

-Anytime AJ Styles performs the Pele kick is a cause for the most jubilant of celebration, especially when he JUST HITS OUTTA NOWHERE. No matter how many times he does it, it's a monumental acheivement.

-A wrestler has no fear of basic arm or leg locks even though a normal person, and even professional fighters, will usually succumb to it in a matter of seconds if it is correctly applied.

-It is completely reprehensible for a heel to even contemplate using any remotely underhand methods against a man who is significantly larger and stronger than they are.

-No matter what evil deeds they committed during their careers, all wrestlers from the past are treated as heroes if they return for a single show.

-Survivor Series matches are so intense that a man can be completely worn down to the point of defeat in less than 5 minutes, no matter how long it would usually take in a regular match.

-Throwing streamers at the ring is intrinsically cool

-Jim Werndly


 
-Never chop Kenta Kobashi.

-Don't put Austin Aries in a headscissors.

-If you are Mexican or Japanese in a federation owned by Vince Russo, do not expect to be pushed. But do expect to have stereotypes of your ethnicity used in your ring persona!

-Chris Cercone

 
-If you're a boss in the company, and for some reason you wish the current world champion to longer have the belt, instead of say, vacating the title, you MUST keep trying until he loses it in a match. Just because.

- In wrestling, the word 'fired' actually means 'go away and come back real soon'.

- If you lose your first name, you become stronger and faster (I.E. Lashley, Snitsky, Finlay, Goldberg)

- When a face uses the ropes to help him pin someone, its charming, funny and clever, but when a heel does the same act, it is DASTARDLY and DESPICABLE.

-Being Drafted to ECW may have bad effects on you and your familys lives.

- In a Royal Rumble, if someone interferes and attacks you, don't worry about the fact your standing next to the ropes to yell at him. No one will push you out. Promise.

- To get into the WWE when you're black, you must
a) Have spent time in prison
b) agree to a gimmick where you steal.

- Don't worry if he's shaking his arms and wagging his fingers. THIS time your punch WILL stop Hogan. 

-Oscar Stephens Willis (Pepsiboycoke)


- A match is your specialty match based on how many times you've participated in this match type. Your win/loss record is irrelevant and all losses are forgotten.

-In a No DQ Tag Team Match, you will be inclined to destroy your opponents by any and all means, provided you have been legally tagged into the match. Entering the match without being tagged in has never crossed your mind.

-Give a special name to each of your moves. They are suprisingly ineffective without names.

-Simple strikes are DEADLY if performed backstage or during an interview.

-If you have angered a fellow superstar, your best bet to gain forgiveness is to go to the ring and attempt to apologize. They never overreact, come out and beat you down.

-The best way to punish an uncooperative employee is to offer him title matches fought under disadvantageous, yet resonable stipulations.

-People will usually think you're a nice person if you are clean shaven and have short tights. Growing a five o'clock shadow and chest hair and switching to long tights will make people perceive you as cocky.

-Even after posing nude or being in pornographic films, the thought of being seen in your bra and panties is truly embarrassing. However, you've never seen a bikini contest you didn't wanna enter.

-Batista will do ANYTHING to get his belt back, but damn that cage is really high. He decides to climb down VERY slowly instead of jump off the side. Besides, there's NO way his opponent will recover and escape before him anyhow.

-All major events in a wrestler's life only occur during a major television broadcast.

-Champions are invincible and undefeatable at house shows.

-Muscle tears are far more debilitating then being buried alive or being set on fire.

-If your opponent is standing with his back to the ropes in a Battle Royal, charge at him as fast as you can. What bad could come of that?

-All old people are feared for their reputation instead of their current status. Just like in other sports. Did you see how scared the Chicago Bears got when they found out Paul Hournug is returning to start at halfback for the Packers this year?

-Eric Drews


-All ethnic stereotypes are hilarious.

-If you are a male former manager, you can legally win the Women's title as long as you cross-dress.

-It makes complete sense to bring Liberace, Pete Rose, Claire Peller & The Miller Light Catfight Girls.

-It is a requirement for Joey Styles to use the term Oh My God twelve times in every match.

-It is a proven fact that *some* fans get to jump the guardrail, as long as they have some training, and have already signed a contract.   

-WWE is the name of the company and the letter f is censored whenever it is used, the letter f has never existed, it has always been called the WWE, and nothing else.

-In addition to this, WCW never existed, and in the few times it actually did WWE was so much better than it, WCW always used underhanded tactics, WWE never did, ever, NEVER EVER!

-Creating a European title in a company that only goes to Europe 2-3 times a year makes complete sense, especially seeing as only Americans work in the company and usually win it.

-A really easy and legal way to nullify a contract is by eating it.

-If you are an American hero, in your career at one point, you will eventually turn on your country.

-Middle Easterners are always evil and have funny mustaches like villains in silent movies.

-Everyone loves feuding genres of music, it is the most exciting type of feud and has never been used before.

-A man who used to wear face paint, shake ring ropes, use three moves, and wrote a comic book with no words where he put Santa Claus into bondage, makes complete sense as a conservative public speaker.

-If you're in the ring with Rikishi, Mae Young, Fabulous Moolah, X-Pac, Rey Mysterio, or any diva, never sit in the corner of the ring (and I'm talking especially to you raven), unless you enjoy a crotch/butt in your face.

-It is okay to lie to a major gay group who gives your gay marriage tag team a gift, telling them that the wedding actually happened, even if the show was taped yesterday and you know that the tag team admitted that they were actually straight.

-Wrestlers only announce how sad they are about a wrestler dying if they work in the same company as that wrestler, if not they blame the management of the other company and shrug it off.

-It makes complete sense for a singles title be held by 2 or 3 people at once, or a tag title to be held by just one person.

-Jojo
North Tonawanda, NY (a suburb of Buffalo)

 
 
-Contrary to the job title, the play-by-play commentator will not call any moves, but instead will use the time to push the main event.
 
-Any wrestler that has a gimmick that works in any other promotion who goes to the WWF/E will be discarded for a more inferior gimmick,or generic name. 
 
-Despite not giving enough time to the undercard, or indeed actual wrestling, on Raw and Smackdown, the TV shows will be padded with matches from shows you've already paid to watch, with no relevance to current storylines.
 
-Being a genuine female wrestler means that you are a heel.
 
-During back stage interviews/skits, you will not realise someone is standing right next to you until the camera, that is not really there anyway, shows that there is someone standing close enough for you to here their stomach digesting their dinner.
 
-Being infamous for being a pot smoker, to the point that people make comments on it during the years most successful PPV, and that fans hold up signs with marijuana leafs and "4:20" written all over them, and even wearing frickin tights with said apparel adorning them, will go completely and utterly ignored, until you are caught with a bit of weed on you a few days into your long over due title reign, when you will be suspended and stripped of the title. You couldn't make it up could you?
 
-Richard Lee
 
 
-John Cena is capable of ending the undefeated streaks of people who don't have them.
 
-Sev.
 
 
-You only kick out of the Pedigree if Triple H takes a couple of seconds longer to pin you than normal (from exhaustion, of course), or if the referee is knocked out and doesn't come to for five minutes. Or if your name is Batista, John Cena or Shawn Michaels.
 
-Any time RAW is in Oklahoma, Jim Ross will be humiliated in front of his family and friends.
 
-On the flipside, any time RAW is in Memphis, Jerry Lawler will be put over by someone who could really benefit from defeating him. This will usually happen following a DEVASTATING fist drop from the second rope. Once the match is over, any push said wrestler seemed to be on the verge of getting will be forgotten immediately. (See: Helms, Gregory)
 
-The piledriver has been banned in the WWE, unless your name is Jerry Lawler, the Undertaker, or are in a match with either of them.
 
-Being given the moniker "World's Strongest Man" guarantees that no one will care about you.
 
-If you win the tag team titles once, and then go for a long period without winning them again, your first title reign will never be mentioned. (See:  Cade and Murdoch)
 
 
-Getting a bar of soap shoved up your ass in a shower or someone taking a shit in your luggage are both just "ribs". If you just quit, it means you are a baby and were never cut out for wrestling.
 
-Hollywood Hogan vs. Warrior at Halloween Havoc '98 was the rematch EVERYONE was waiting for.
 
-TNA doesn't deserve to have Goldberg. Just ask him.
-People don't get fired for drug or alcohol abuse. They get fired for having to battle "personal demons".
 
-Given a one-word gimmick name usually means you will never amount to much. (See: Meat, Chaz, Albert, Test, etc.)
 
-The biggest, toughest people in the world will mow over all competition...until Shane McMahon steps in.
 
-We as fans want and need to see Vince McMahon involved in a storyline at all times. At least, that's what he tells us.
 
-Dustin Nichols
 
 
-It's very easy to mistake 73,000 people for 93,000 people.
 
-Even if you're almost as big as the ladder, it's obviously still 20 feet tall!
 
-If you refer to something as "the greatest _____ ever" enough times, it becomes fact.
 
-Crimes like rape, molestation, stalking, and possession only hold sentences of up to 45 minutes of incarceration if you're a wrestler.
 
-hjaskater.
 

-When appealing to wrestling fans and a larger market, always hire non-wrestlers into your brand everyone despises, i.e.: Pacman Jones, Dennis Rodman, etc.
 
-Lumbering, body builders with a limited amount of actual wrestling moves are immediately more talented than guys who have proven their talent in independent circuits before signing with a larger brand.
 

-Ring Wraith.
 
 
-When Khali's kicking your ass, don't expect Rey Mysterio to try and save you, even if you ran in to rescue him the week before.
 
-If you can understand what Khali is saying, you are probably either a.) full of shit, b.) a writer of Middle Eastern descent that kinda looks like Eric Bischoff, or c.) both.
 
-Charley Martin.
 
 
-Any weapon, no matter how durable, can only be used once in a match, at which point it is thus rendered unusable.
 
-Don't bother checking under the ring. Even though Triple H has always had that sledgehammer under there for every match, this time is the exception.
 
-If you back up and sense another wrestler behind you, do NOT turn around. Even the Undertaker is somehow unable to attack you unless you actually turn around and face him.
 
-Especially on Raw, the bad guy's friend always gets clobbered, but the bad guy always get away unscathed (aka the Cobra Commander rule.).
 
-Oh, and for those of you who don't know: the WWE is part of a federal steel-pipe repository project. That's why there are always hundreds of the things backstage just waiting for someone to get tossed into them.
-Robert Igoe.
 
 
-After getting the hot tag in a tag-team match and knocking the first opponent down, you will always be able to throw the second opponent against the ropes as the first wrestler will invariably roll out of the way to allow you to do so.
 
-If it is your time to pull the hanging belt from a shaky ladder, don't worry - your fallen opponent will hold the ladder steady with their feet.
 
-It always helps to pantomime when talking to fellow wrestlers in the ring (eg. Wave your hands in around your waist "I want that title belt, you know the one you wear around your waist.")
 
-If a TV main event is not scheduled a week in advance, then there is no scheduled main event, that is until the GM/Owner comes out in reaction to some impromptu verbal sparring of wrestlers at the top of the program.  To which he tries to settle the grudge and makes an impromptu main event that night. Given the random nature of this occurrence, it only happens 99.97% of the time.
 
-Although hitting an opponent with a closed fist is illegal, the referee will only admonish you by gesturing with his closed fist.  Same goes for hair-pulling, as the ref will pull his own hair.
 
-You may have intense hatred for your rival, but God forbid if you should talk over them during mic time.  You let them speak, listen, and then it's your turn to speak.  If only Bill O'Reilly was as civil.
 
-It's possible to knock your opponent up after he is down.  You can do so with an elbow drop.  After lying flat they will sit up writhing in pain.  Also if you render your opponent unconscious and decide to do more damage, he will regain consciousness so your attempt to inflict pain will not go in vain.
 
-Your body's movement is not voluntary.  You can stop running anytime you want if you are thrown against the ropes...but you don't.  No matter how badly you are hurt, you will always stand up when a fellow wrestler gently grabs you by the head.  And if you are in sitting on the top turnbuckle, you just have to put your feet up top and balance with your opponent so he can execute the Superplex.
 
-If you are in cruiserweight match and find yourself on the outside with other wrestlers, the Cheerio effect comes into play and you will somehow find yourselves clustered together.  The lone wrestler on the inside can predict this before it happens and start to do a running dive or leap off of the top turnbuckle onto the magnetized wrestlers.
 
-To complete your heel turn, all you have to do during a live interview is shout out to that special person in the crowed 'Shut up Fat Boy, I'm a 13-time Champion!!!'
 
-Big Sauce Man.
 
 
-If you're a tag team, you may want to stay clear of  wrestling Triple H.
 
-A Matt Hardy rivalry must last for at least 6 months. Always.
 
-The higher up the card you move, the less wrestling you're allowed to do.
 
-The best place to get married if you're a wrestler is in the ring. No one is going to bother you there.
 
-Rainey.
 

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