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ECW: The Next Generation
(October 2007 Archives.)

October 02, 2007
October 09, 2007
October 16, 2007
October 23, 2007
October 30, 2007


So I noticed they had a “Eureka” marathon on all day.  Could you imagine if they had an ECW marathon?  Would there be any way to tell apart the episodes?  Oooh this is the one where Stevie Richards loses!  And this is the one where Bobby Lashley overcomes the odds!  And this is the one where every match was good, oh wait….that never happened.
No theme and we are live from Dayton, Ohio.  Vince is out to the ring with bad news.  John Cena is injured and cannot compete this Sunday at No Mercy.  This is bad news?  Apparently he’s out six months to a year and Vince is wondering where all the merchandise revenue is going to come from.  He announces Cena is no longer WWE champion and there is some definite cheering.  They will crown a new champion on Sunday but they didn’t bother to say how they would do it.
Later tonight Tommy Dreamer faces Elijah Burke for the ECW title shot this Sunday, but for now the current champ is out.  He gets on the microphone and says he should have his head more in the game.  Hey Hunter, move your head out of your ass and make room!  He comments on Big Titty V’s attack last week and says he respects him.  V and Striker show up on the Titan Tron (do they call it that on this show?).  He wants a title shot and then they wish him luck in his next match.
ECW Champion CM Punk vs. Mike Knox (Non title match)
Joey Styles actually acknowledges some continuity with the fact they both have a connection to Kelly Squared.  That’s a lot more than she can do if you put a connect the dots puzzle in front of her.  Some back and forth offense and Knox takes control and gets a nice dropkick.  Knox has an Orton Lock on and Punk counters out and both men continue to switch off rest holds.  Knox then does a hammer lock then slams him right on the arm.  He tries for a suplex but Punk breaks out and kicks Knox out of the ring then dives over the top rope as we go to commercial.
Commercial Comment: Sci Fi made an original ‘Species” sequel?  How many friggin sequels does this movie need?  She’s hot and she wants to fuck and kill you, or fuckin’ kill you whichever you prefer.
Knox regained control magically during the break and puts on another Orton Lock.  Punk counters to a roll up for two and Knox clobbers with a clothesline and soon after a backbreaker.  Punk fights back and hits a few kicks and a knee lift then a flying leg lariat.  He then hits the Pepsi One but Knox pushes off the bulldog.  He misses a bicycle kick and Punk gets the Nyquil while some guy keeps booing for the win.
Winner: CM Punk
After we pay the bills, Balls Mahoney comes out to the ring (heh bills balls).  He asks Kelly Squared for an answer again.  She comes out and says yes.  You know dude, if you didn’t wait a week between asking you might be balling her by now!  Ha, I got a million of ‘em!  Miz comes out and says it’s time to go and Balls clocks him.  Miz keeps asking Kelly to come with him and then that he owns the management contract of Extreme Expose.  If she goes out with Balls, she’s out of Extreme Expose and ECW.  Do it!  For the love of tolerable television!  She leaves the ring and the fans are left wondering why they stayed after Smackdown.
Commercial Comment: Rent “1408” exclusively at Blockbuster where they have THREE sets of shelves with it!  I wish I was kidding.  Even the customer service rep couldn’t believe it.
We’re ready for our main event so here ‘tis.
Elijah Burke vs. Tommy Dreamer (Elimination Chase or Whatever the Hell You Call It, Basically Whoever Wins Faces Punk on Sunday for the Title)
Dreamer takes early control and after each man blocks a hip toss (careful you can tear a pec that way), Tommy clotheslines Burke.  Dreamer puts Burke in the Tree of Woe and hits a dropkick then a clothesline over the top rope.  He runs across the apron and hits the equivalent of a Lou Thesz Press and punches down on Burke as we go to commercial.
Commercial Comment: “FLIGHT of the Living Dead”?  Yeah let’s take the overdone zombie movie and put them where snakes were last year.  Can someone come up with an original idea please?  I’m begging you!
Another Commercial Comment: Hey smart advertising TNA Impact’s 2 hour premiere during a WWE show.  Well this show sucks, so maybe I’ll tune in.  OK no I won’t.
Burke is already pinning Dreamer when we come back.  During the break, Tommy got thrown into the hollow steps.  Burke stalls and Dreamer hits a neckbreaker then a flapjack (pass the syrup).  Dreamer gets thrown to the corner and Burke goes to the top but gets caught.  Burke knocks him off and goes for a sunset flip but Dreamer rolls him up for two.  Burke fights back and hits the Outer Limits elbow.  Burke misses an attack and Dreamer hits a DDT for the win.
Winner: Tommy Dreamer
Estrada comes out and says there is one man left to enter the Elimination Chase and what a shocker, it’s the man who could fill in Cena’s pectoral tear and then some.
Big Daddy V vs. Tomy Dreamer
Do I need to recap this?  V dominates and takes the title shot even though he entered at the last minute.
Winner: Big Daddy V
The big question is, how the hell can he fit the title around even one of his boobs?
Extreme Moment: Well I was going to give it to Dreamer getting a much deserved title shot…
Not So Extreme Moment: Big Titty V is obvious but I’m giving to Vince coming out to make an announcement that has nothing to do with ECW and didn’t even give details on it.
Go read stuff, you’re literate aren’t you?  Now hit my music!

Gershon Levy is the first and only person to ever to recap ECW on Sci-Fi full time which led to his recent self-admission into an insane asylum. This makes him the only "ECW Original" who is not in danger of losing his job.  Gershon has made numerous appearances on Raw and Smackdown from different parts of the arena, including once a close up for his brilliant sign mocking Chris Jericho stating simply "Fozzy Sucks Wocka Wocka!".  He also is filing a lawsuit against Vince McMahon for not giving Jewish wrestlers a fair chance to succeed.

As it has lately been the case on Tuesday nights, I found myself getting home well after the show is over.  Well honestly if you’re waiting with that much anticipation for this column, get a life will you people?  For crying out loud it’s just a TV show!  You’ve turned a little thing I do once a week into a colossal waste of time.  You right there, you must be almost 30, have you ever kissed a girl?  (HUGE kudos to anyone who got this reference.)
Highlights (if you can call them that) from No Mercy are shown where Big Titty V got disqualified for umm….indecent exposure?  Theme plays, which I finally found out, is called “Don’t Question My Heart”.  More like don’t question my taste when I change the channel.  Oh and we are live from Detroit, Michigan which is the home of the Lions, the team my Redskins slaughtered last Sunday.  Later tonight John Morrison gets a rematch against CM Punk.  They didn’t say if it was a title match but if it is, I have a bad feeling.  Big Titty V is down to the ring first for our opening contest.

Big Daddy V w/ Matt Striker vs. Tommy Dreamer

I found out the reason Dreamer is wearing a bandana is because of some stitches in his head and it sort of stuck (the idea of wearing it, not the fabric to his skull).  V is dominant early but Dreamer shows a little resilience though to no avail.  At one point Dreamer goes to the second rope and jumps right into a power bomb.  V hits the Samoan Drop and Elbow Macaroni Drop (yes I just came up with that) and the pin.
Winner: Big Daddy V
In a truly frightening display, V actually removes his suspenders and lets all his boobs fly loose.  A really quick commercial (quick because I fast forwarded) and Kevin Thorn is out to face a jobber.

Kevin Thorn vs. James Curtis

During this match, they announce that the ECW championship match at Cyber Sunday will be announced at noon tomorrow on WWE.com.  If it’s anything like the one for the WWE title, it’s three opponents and we get to vote.  Oh there’s a match or something, if you can call it that.  After a sloppy counter, Thorn hits Original Sin and gets the cover.

Winner: Kevin Thorn

Some boring crap between Miz and Kelly Squared and we go to commercial.
And we’re back!  Time for our next match and well, it’s another doozy.
The Miz w/ Kelly Squared vs. Balls Mahoney (AGAIN)
Balls and Miz trade off some punches and this one has all the excitement of an R rated movie on Cinemax (just as the sex gets good, they cut to the next scene).  Balls hits some Teabagging then is about to go to the top but Miz knocks him off the apron to the announcer’s table.  Balls can’t get up from it and gets counted out.

Winner by countout: The Miz

Miz punts the teddy bear into the crowd.  Throw it back!  Kelly checks on Balls while he is bleeding from the mouth.
John Morrison makes his entrance not even acknowledging that he mysteriously hasn’t been on TV in a month.  The champ comes out next and we are ready for our main event.
ECW Champion CM Punk vs. John Morrison (Non title match)
Morrison goes right after Punk’s taped ribs.  Punk primarily fights back with his feet but Morrison is able to maintain advantage with several rest holds.  All of a sudden some guy dressed as Hulk Hogan stands up in the front row which caused a huge Hogan chant.  I remember once at a live event I saw a dude in the crowd who looked just like Austin and once someone in the crowd who looked like Chyna (who even signed autographs).  Morrison continues to focus on the ribs.  Eventually he misses a move in the corner and Punk hits a springboard dropkick which lands poorly.  Punk hits a series of clotheslines then kicks before a flying leg lariat.  I just noticed on Punk’s wrist it says Happy Birthday.  Umm OK.  Punk hits the Pepsi One and bulldog but only gets two.  What is the point of pinning after these moves if they never get a three?  Morrison gets up and kicks Punk sharply on the side of the head.  Morrison goes to the top and Punk catches him and tries for the Nyquil but Morrison breaks out and hits a springboard kick.  Punk fights back with an enziguri then goes to the top but is caught and Morrison hits a reverse superplex and gets the pin.

Winner: John Morrison

Morrison celebrates as we go off the air.
Extreme Moment: The Punk-Morrison match was at least watchable.
Not So Extreme Moment: Nothing better than Tommy Dreamer jobbing two weeks straight to Big Titty V.
Did you know TWF has a Myspace page?  It’s true!  Go join as a friend, and you can add me as well.  Maybe in five years we’ll have Friendster.  Now hit my music! 

Gershon Levy is the first and only person to ever to recap ECW on Sci-Fi full time which led to his recent self-admission into an insane asylum. This makes him the only "ECW Original" who is not in danger of losing his job.  Gershon has made numerous appearances on Raw and Smackdown from different parts of the arena, including once a close up for his brilliant sign mocking Chris Jericho stating simply "Fozzy Sucks Wocka Wocka!".  He also is filing a lawsuit against Vince McMahon for not giving Jewish wrestlers a fair chance to succeed.

So there’s a rumor going around that ECW on Sci Fi is going to be taken off television at the end of the year.  Pardon me for a moment while I get pissed that I no longer will have a show to recap.  OK done.
We open with a street shot of the mean streets of England and on one of the double decker busses there is an Ikea ad.  Who knew the Brits loved the Swedes that much?  My heart is questioned and we are TAPED from the UK.  Tonight CM Punk and a partner of his choosing will face John Morrison, the Miz and Big Titty V.  If it’s not Tommy Dreamer I’d be surprised.  Morrison is out first and they mention the Cyber Sunday match for the ECW title and really, this may be the worst choice since Kerry-Bush.  Morrison talks a bunch of boring crap about why he should be voted in and then Miz interrupts and one of the things he says is he gets so many women that he’s tired of them.  Oh so he admits he’s gay now?  The six-titted superstar comes out next with Matt Striker.  Matt says that V is bigger than both Miz and Morrison combined.  It explains why the ECW roster is so small, he ate them all.  Punk then comes out and goes through each guy as a potential opponent praising V and Morrison, and then says no one likes Miz.  Punk says his mystery partner didn’t have to be from ECW and he introduces Kane.
ECW Champion CM Punk and Kane vs. John Morrison, the Miz and Big Daddy V (Handicapped Match)
You know, I have to wonder if this is going to be the only match tonight.  Morrison focuses on Punk’s ribs but the champ is able to gain control and induce a monkey flip and tags out to Kane.  The Big Red Machine is super aggressive with his offense and tags back to Punk.  Morrison times a counter to get Punk with his knee and tags to the Miz.  He focuses on the ribs as well as rips the bandages off and does some damage there.  V tags in adds on to the punishment.  The “bad guys” frequently tag each other and keep wearing down Punk and just as he is about to fight back, he gets knocked to the outside.  There’s a commercial and when we’re back Punk is in the ring with Morrison and just as Punk is close to a tag he gets moved back.  Styles mentions something about a “business deal” of a merger between Smackdown and ECW.  Yeah I’m sure that is exactly what it is.  Miz is in now and tries to suplex Punk but it is reversed.  Kane finally tags and takes out his frustration on Morrison.  He hits a sidewalk slam and a clothesline from the top but Miz interrupts.  V tags in and clobbers Kane with a clothesline.  He misses a splash in the corner and Miz tags in and goes to the top but gets caught in a chokeslam for the win.

Winners: CM Punk and Kane

Commercial Comment: So Burger King says their Italian chicken sandwich has been made the same way since 1988.  Apparently this includes ingredients that were processed that same year.
Miz and Morrison are arguing backstage and Morrison challenges to a match to prove he is the deserving vote getter.  They show the Miz punting Kelly Squared’s bear last week and then go to Balls backstage.  Kelly comes over and asks him out to which of course he says yes.  Then we go to Estrada and Vickie Guerrero and she says she brought other Smackdown superstars to ECW tonight.  Jesse and Festus walk in and they have a match next.

Jesse and Festus vs. Elijah Burke and Nunzio

Jesse is on the microphone and says to watch Festus when the bell rings.  It does and Festus goes from retarded to umm, enraged?  Jesse tags in after Festus shows some dominance.  He hits a drop toe hold on Burke but after Nunzio distracts, Elijah comes back.  Jesse regains control and Festus tags in and hits a big boot to the face.  He tags Jesse in and uses him like a rocket launcher from the top rope and gets the pin.

Winners: Jesse and Festus

Tazz uses his brilliant educational background to explain how to vote for Cyber Sunday (umm I thought this was for the fans).  Miz is out followed by Morrison for our last match, this is certainly no main event.

John Morrison vs. The Miz

I completely tuned out of this one, V interrupted causing a DQ.
Winner: Does it matter?
V hits a Samoan Drop on Morrison and we are off the air.
Extreme Moment: Handicapped match was good, and Kane was more dominant than I had seen him in a while.
Not So Extreme Moment: Absolutely pointless match between Miz and Morrison as a main event.
That’s all for tonight.  Come back next week as the countdown begins to my TWF retirement party.  Now hit my music!

Gershon Levy is the first and only person to ever to recap ECW on Sci-Fi full time which led to his recent self-admission into an insane asylum. This makes him the only "ECW Original" who is not in danger of losing his job.  Gershon has made numerous appearances on Raw and Smackdown from different parts of the arena, including once a close up for his brilliant sign mocking Chris Jericho stating simply "Fozzy Sucks Wocka Wocka!".  He also is filing a lawsuit against Vince McMahon for not giving Jewish wrestlers a fair chance to succeed.

I think this is the first time in at least a month where I am doing this recap as it airs and not like hours later.  What does that mean?  This was a rare night where I had no life.
Before the show tonight, the original Saw was on.  Can you believe this movie came out only three years ago and part 4 is out this weekend?  I actually have enjoyed the series so I will likely go see it.  Interesting they bleep out every bad word including son of a bitch but show the most graphic moments (won’t share in case you haven’t seen it, but I do recommend it).
My heart is questioned and we are LIVE from Kansas City and what worse way to start the show than with The Miz and the Extremely Exposed Skanks.  He says there are three options, but only one real choice.  The choice to not vote?  He then addresses Kelly Squared and that she violated her contract just like this segment violates my eyes and ears.  He said he is going to make her life miserable week after week.  John Morrison interrupts and he says “you forgot your hat, tool”.  What the hell is a hat tool?  Morrison brags about himself then says to Kelly she should align with him.  She slaps him, then Balls Mahoney interrupts and gets double teamed by Miz and Morrison.  CM Punk then runs down to the ring and clotheslines Morrison over the top rope.  Later tonight Kane faces Big Titty V.  OMG HOSSES FIGHTING LOLZ!!!
After a commercial, Morrison and Miz are arguing backstage and get interrupted by Estrada.  He says they better learn to get along because they’ll be teaming up to face CM Punk and Balls Mahoney later on.  Big Titty V is on his way out and there’s a t-shirt shaped sign that says “Put a shirt on Big Daddy V” and where the label is it says 10X.  Kane is out next for our first match of the night.

Big Daddy V vs. Kane

Kane starts off with a few rights and a clothesline but has no effect as V knocks Kane down then slams him.  He then screams out “BITE ME!” and I’d have to think that is something his food would never say.  I’d bet when a restaurant manager sees him walking down the street they shut out the lights and lock the doors.  Kane starts to fight back and we randomly go to commercial.  Nice timing guys.
When we come back, V is lying down on top of Kane.  It appears each of his boobs is hitting a pressure point.  Can you really call this a rest hold?  Kane tries to stand up and blocks a right and hits V with one of his own.  He hits a pair of big clotheslines in the corner then one from the top rope.  Mark Henry then interrupts and as Kane beats up on him, Khali shows up.  Ugh could this get worse?  Khali knocks V out of the ring then Henry knocks out Khali.  Henry meanwhile is beating up on Kane and misses a splash in the corner.  Kane goes for a chokeslam but can’t get it so instead hits a couple of big boots to knock him out of the ring.

Winner by DQ: Kane

Wow, the Diva Search winner will be announced on Raw on Monday.  You know what’s interesting about it this time around?  They’ve barely been showing it so I don’t know any of the participants.  I’d say this is a good thing, but it isn’t like they are doing anything that great with the extra airtime they have.
Commercial Comment: Can someone please castrate the guy who won’t shut up in the elevator about the Darth Vader PSP?
Punk and Balls are backstage and the champ says they have the advantage because they get along.  He then asks Balls about his date last week.  Balls just starts snickering, Punk says that’s disturbing and Balls says that was what she said.
Commercial Comment: Why do they show a Jack in the Box commercial here in New York when the closest location is in North Carolina?
Next week Khali, Henry, V and Kane will be in a Monster Mash Battle Royal on ECW.  Anyone want to write my recap for me?  I suddenly remembered I have to do anything else.  Elijah Burke is out to face Nunzio.  Umm OK.

Elijah Burke vs. Nunzio

Oops forgot to care.  Burke hits the Elijah Express for the win.

Winner: Elijah Burke

Khali is speaking his native language of sjfyfwodsgwigmsdese to his interpreter and we go to commercial.  I’m trying to figure out why the show seems longer this week and realized it’s because I can’t fast forward the commercials.

ECW Champion CM Punk and Balls Mahoney vs. The Miz and John Morrison

Wow this crowd is totally dead.  I heard absolutely nothing for Punk, the most over guy on the show.  Punk has the advantage on the Miz and Balls tags in but loses control and Morrison is able to tag in.  Balls fights back thanks to his large frame and goes to the second rope but lands on his butt missing his move.  Morrison and Miz continue to tag back and forth and keep beating up on Balls including Morrison hitting an enziguri.  Eventually Balls breaks free and tags Punk who hits the Pepsi One and the Nyquil on Morrison for the win.

Winners: CM Punk and Balls Mahoney

Extreme Moment: For lack of a better choice, I’ll go with the main event.
Not So Extreme Moment: The Kane-V match was almost tolerable until two of the worst wrestlers in existence interfered and will be back next week.
Hey look Jason X is on!  Nothing scarier than seeing a deranged guy in a hockey mask IN SPACE!  So instead of watching this crap, go check out the funny on the Fan and you can decide if it’s even worth the effort to vote because I’m sure anyone who reads this column votes for the least likely to win.  Now hit my music!

Gershon Levy is the first and only person to ever to recap ECW on Sci-Fi full time which led to his recent self-admission into an insane asylum. This makes him the only "ECW Original" who is not in danger of losing his job.  Gershon has made numerous appearances on Raw and Smackdown from different parts of the arena, including once a close up for his brilliant sign mocking Chris Jericho stating simply "Fozzy Sucks Wocka Wocka!".  He also is filing a lawsuit against Vince McMahon for not giving Jewish wrestlers a fair chance to succeed.

So in case you didn’t hear, ECW got picked up for 2008.  No one is really sure why.  I wanted to let my readers know (all three of you) that I likely will not be continuing into next year based on my constantly busier schedule and really my heart is being questioned in the matter (heh, nice tie in).  When I make my choice as far as when my last column will be, it will be posted here.
Tonight, it’s a SPOOKY episode of ECW, and really if you know what they’ve advertised for tonight you know this is really a frightful thing.  Besides the Immobile Battle Royal, we also have a #1 contender’s match between John Morrison and The Miz.  I’m still in a bit of disillusionment about the fact Miz won the vote for the ECW title shot last Sunday but it might be something I ate.
My heart is questioned and we are LIVE from Long Island, New York a little bit east of where I am.  What does it tell you that before I watched this I didn’t even know there was a show there?  Elijah Burke is out first to face someone borrowed from the “working relationship” with Smackdown (AKA “thin roster supplement”).

Elijah Burke vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Burke has the advantage early on and even though Yang keeps trying to fight back, Burke manages to maintain control.  He hits a shoulder breaker and continues to work on the shoulder but Yang breaks out and hits a couple of clotheslines.  Burke counters one move and goes to the top rope and is met with a roundhouse kick to the gut.  Yang goes to the top and misses which Burke takes advantage of by throwing Yang to the post and hitting the Elijah Express for the win.

Winner: Elijah Burke

Styles mentions how the Monster Mash Battle Royal has nearly a ton of superstars, and I love how they think this is a good thing.  Has anyone heard of a diet?  You know maybe some of these guys wouldn’t have to turn to steroids if the buffet table wasn’t empty except for salad when they got to it.
Nunzio (who is dressed as Dracula, that ain’t tomato sauce!) goes around with some kids going trick or treating.  They go to Balls Mahoney (I was just near his home in Nutley, NJ last night….nothing interesting to speak of ).  He gives them some candy and Nunzio says this is what happens when you eat too much candy.  They then find CM Punk who is dressed as ECW Champion.  While you might think that isn’t original, I didn’t think that was a costume he would ever be allowed to wear.  Then they find the Boogeyman who gives them all worms.
Commercial Comment: If Slash was really playing Guitar Hero you’d have to question what he’s been taking.  Then again at least he’s put out an album in the past decade.
Nunzio is out next for a Trick or Treat Match.  Tommy Dreamer is out next dressed as Paul Heyman and Styles and Tazz can’t seem to figure out who he is.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Nunzio (Trick or Treat EXTREEEEME RULES Match)

Dreamer beats up on Nunzio and hits him with a pumpkin.  Nunzio fights back with a can of whipped cream?  E-C- Dub!  Dreamer then comes back by sticking Nunzio’s head in the tub of apples and then dumps it on himself and hits Nunzio with it.  Nunzio is stuck in the (Haunted) Tree of Woe and kicks the tub in his head and then the DDT for the win.

Winner: Tommy Dreamer

Commercial Comment: Horrorfest is back this year and I actually know a guy who wrote and starred in one of the films (Crazy 8’s, a film about evil card games or something).
Next Monday on Raw, it’s Retro Night with Stone Cold and DX!  Somehow last night Kelly Squared won the Diva Battle Royal (with Victoria as a sumo wrestler which was awesome) and then got attacked by Beth Phoenix.  The Miz is out next dressed as a tool and Morrison as drug free.
John Morrison vs. The Miz (#1 C ontenders Match)
Miz starts off aggressively but Morrison uses his tough enough skills (see you thought we forgot didn’t you) to take over.  After Miz gets back with a vicious clothesline in the corner he almost gets pinned.  He counters but only gets two.  Morrison then hits the Light My Fire for the win.

Winner: John Morrison

Morrison joins in on commentary for the next match.

CM Punk vs. James Curtis

I read somewhere that Curtis is KC James from OVW just as an FYI you SOB.  Punk gets shoved into the corner but then misses and gets hit with the Pepsi One, bulldog and clothesline from the top.  He then hits the Nyquil for the w in.

Winner: CM Punk

Morrison runs in and hits the Light My Fire leaving the champ laid out.  Next week he’ll get his shot and based on why Punk won the title in the first place I don’t have a good feeling about this.
Khali is in the ring after a commercial followed by Henry, Big Titty V and Kane.  By the way on V’s entrance music it says “calling all cars”.  Apparently this is a warning because he’s hungry.  A quick rundown of their costumes:
Khali: The Ugly Green Giant (yes I think I used that joke last year shut up)
Mark Henry: A wrestler who is not injured
V: The six fingered man from Princess Bride except he has six of something else
Kane: An unmasked version of Kane, oh wait
Great Khali vs. Big Daddy V vs. Mark Henry vs. Kane (Monster Mash Battle Royal)
Henry and V hit a double clothesline, which is the first sign of the apocalypse.   Khali hits Kane with a big boot.  V tries to hit a sidewalk slam on Kane and totally botches it which the crowd boos at.  V misses a splash in the corner and Kane throws him over the top to eliminate him.  Khali hits Kane from behind then Henry gets involved to help Kane eliminate Khali.  Kane tries to slam Henry but is unsuccessful.  Kane hits a big boot then goes to the top but gets caught in a bear hug and thrown over the top.  Well at least it was short.

Winner: Mark Henry

Extreme Moment: Wow, was there anything reasonably worth watching this week?  I’ll give it to the fact the main event was super short making it less painful to suffer through.
Not So Extreme Moment: Definitely giving it to the fact they openly mock Paul Heyman and pretend they don’t know they’re doing it.
OK it’s about time to bust out the Christmas decorations even though we are just starting on the road to Thanksgiving. Look for some holiday themed goodness here at the Fan, which will no doubt be as overhyped as anything you can expect to see at your local department store.  Now hit my music!

Gershon Levy is the first and only person to ever to recap ECW on Sci-Fi full time which led to his recent self-admission into an insane asylum. This makes him the only "ECW Original" who is not in danger of losing his job.  Gershon has made numerous appearances on Raw and Smackdown from different parts of the arena, including once a close up for his brilliant sign mocking Chris Jericho stating simply "Fozzy Sucks Wocka Wocka!".  He also is filing a lawsuit against Vince McMahon for not giving Jewish wrestlers a fair chance to succeed.

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November 2006


by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).