This week's spotlight: NEW WRESTLING MOVIES!
With the unbelievable success of James Cameron's AVATAR, both TNA and WWE have gone back into the drawing room and created a whole bunch of new offerings to capitalize on this hot Hollywood trend. Here's a sampling of some upcoming releases…
INGLORIOUS HULKAMANIACS: During the New Monday Night Wars a group of wrestling has-beens and washouts known as "The Hulkamaniacs" are chosen specifically to spread hope throughout the Impact Zone despite their dated, uninspired, and often lazy performances. Will they be enough to get people to cross the line? (original poster can be seen here)
IT'S VERY COMPLICATED: The sure-to-be smash hit documentary covers the complex dynamic within Total Non Stop Action Wrestling. Dixie Carter… Vince Russo… Hulk Hogan. A love/hate triangle if there ever was one. Can Dixie truly love one if she still has feelings for the other? Can complete opposites Russo and Hogan exist together without killing the other? (original poster can be seen here)
The Total Impact Saga: NEW MONDAY: The drama in TNA can not be contained in just one movie! (original poster can be seen here)
THE INVENTION OF JOBBING Can you imagine a world without unnecessary jobbing? Neither can Triple H… (original poster can be seen here)
THE ROAD WILL OWN YOU: Starring Buddy Wayne and featuring Death of WCW writer Bryan Alvarez in a breakout performance! (original poster can be seen here)
Derek Burgan has been reviewing wrestling DVDs, comics, books, and other miscellaneous crap for the Observer/F4Wonline Empire since October 2005. He also can be heard in audio form over at PWTorch.com on the Radican Audio Showcase. Follow Derek on Twitter @derekburgan and at Facebook /derekburgan. He can be reached at: Derek@gumgod.com
Special thanks for this edition of the Gimmick Table go out to superstar artist Matt Cleary. You can see Matt's wrestling related work over at F4Wonline.com.
THE TWF "MENTAL WELLNESS TEST!"
With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).