Creative Team Showcase!!! Hello again all and welcome to the third edition of Creative
Team Showcase. Why you're still watching I have no idea, well actually you're
reading but whatever. Anyway I would note tat apparently the creative team idea
had been done previously by voiceboxforgiven, though I will note I did not steal
any of his ideas, seriously......Stop looking at me like that!! Anyway credit
where credit's due there. There is also a possibility that he may guest a
feature here at some point, in fact anyone is welcome to submit their own ideas
as it'd mean less work for me. Anyway this week you are being whisked to the wonderful land of the TNA creative team, principally because WWE has
been completely focussed on Vince's story which I already fucking mocked, and a two page explanation of why Mysterio returned
silver probably wouldn't be that entertaining. Then again most likely neither will this, but whatever. Also it should be noted
this week we're in the format of multiple short sketches, official reason-experimentation; real reason-I'm lazy. Pacman Russo: Well in situations like this Mantell: How about Osama Bin Laden? Russo: Are you crazy man? This is an American show! They want to see American wrestling,
white people. That guy won't get over!! I'm thinking Charles Manson here. Jarrett: Regrettably there are issues in the way here. Also even though we offered him Dutt
and Shelley to kill he still feels we're too capitalist. However, as we all know our connections with professional sports
have always yielded success. So I suggest Pacman Jones. Tenay: This is incredible! West: We all know who he is, this is why TNA is the most talked about wrestling in the world!! Jarrett: Why are they here? Tenay: She said we add to the atmosphere! West: I know she did Professor, this is incredible! Mantell: That's it I'm getting ear plugs West: Did you hear that he's getting ear plugs! Tenay: I heard him Don, I think it way be to block out our incessant screaming! West: You could be right!! Russo: Get out!! Mantell: Well I've actually got a plausible story for Pacman. We can team him with Ron Killings Killings: Woah, whats up I totally quit the TNA, nigga! Russo: No you didn't, besides you're the perfect partner for Pacman, you're both black. Killings: Yo, we're both sun-tanned supermen yo. We're gonna take down John Cena and win
the tag belts yo! -Killings break dances out- Jarrett: Actually we could put the belts on him, Kurt did his back in carrying all his belts. Shelley and Sabin: But you said you were going to push us! Daniels: And me! Russo: Are you the most controversial men in sports entertainment? Nope, you haven't even
worked for WWE! Daniels: I did briefly Mantell: Which is why we let you wrestle Sting. Case closed Pac is controversial and will
give us ratings, now to decide how much we'll pay him with our random money generator!! $25,000 per appearance apparently West: That's crazy, we're giving it away!! Isn't it great. Shelley: Godammit! Contract Issues Senshi: Hey I want my release. Jarrett: No. By the way, Basham and Damaja, you're fired. Basham: What, why? Russo: Because you couldn't beat VKM in that shoot fight Damaja: What shoot fight? BG: While you're at it, we want out! Kip: Yeah and I'll bask TNA until you do it. Russo: You worked for WWE and were successful, we'll never let you go!! BG: Oh come on, we're bored and hate it here. Matt Bentley: Sorry you're in the middle of something here but I have this idea for Serontonin. Mantel: Eh Serontonin are boring. Bentley: Come on, I'm trying to help here. Mantel: And I don't care, you're fired. Bentley: What? I helped make this place! I had a cool dance! Jarrett: And we're hiring Too Cool to do a cool dance, bye. Russo: Anyway VKM, we have a solution. Shelley, Sabin. VKM want their release. Sabin: Sorry about that guys, we'll see you Russo: So you're jobbing to them in 90 seconds. Sabin: What? Shelly: Godammit! BG: We're as confused as you are, trust us. TNA gets a Test (Not drug testing because then Angle will fail) Jarrett: OK we want to continue the Abyss-Christian feud Mantel: Hasn't that been going for about 5 months? Russo: Yep, still got about another 5 in it. Jarrett: Well we need to even the sides a bit so I suggest we hire someone new to help Abyss
and Sting. Angle wants Vito. Russo: However, I'll think he'll work much better as a tag parter of Dustin Rhodes. Mantel: Jarrett: So not Vito anyway yet, I think Rikishi's character would gel very well with the
pair. Mantel: Unfortunately he wants a lot of money, and event eh compensation of eating Shelley
didn't persuade him. -AJ enters- AJ: Hey guys, mind if I sit in? Jarrett: Sure we're discussing how to further your feud with Abyss and sting, sit down. -AJ sits_ West: OH my god, the Pele the Pele he hits it out of nowhere, right in the face!! AJ: Guys I just sat down Tenay: That AJ Styles how far has he fallen. West: I know Mike, it's just disgusting -AJ stands- AJ: Hey that's just kayfabe, I resent the insults! Tenay: What a vertical leap! West: He's a phenomenal athelete no mistake about it. Jarrett: Ignore them, anyway Andrew Martin said he'd be interested. Tenay: We all know who he is!!! Russo: That could work Mantel: Lets call him the Punisher! AJ: Why? Mantel: Sounds cool, and we'll get him over by jobbing you to him AJ. AJ: OK that's fine but could I get a win, I keep losing, I'm worried about losing credibility. Russo: That's true -AJ takes a drink- West: The Pele! The Pele! How'd he get his limb up there!! Tenay: I don't know DW it's just amazing. Mantel: I've got a way to keep you over, Shelley Shelley: Yeah? Mantel: We're putting AJ over you Shelley: OK at least we'll get a good match out of it. Russo: And Karen Angle needs heat too, so you'll lose to her by submission next iMPACT Shelley: Godammit! There's your crap. If you want good stuff I'd recommed The Raw, SD! And ECW rants. And Anvil's great Summerslam review.
There's also Sean's stuff, Done! And Deadface Walking for far more funny satire
than this. Thanks for reading.
TWF FLASHBACK
November 2006
SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!
With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).
POPULAR UPDATES
SATIRE: WWE's Discontinued X-Mas Products
DVD Review: End Game, Starring Kurt Angle
50+ Random Star Wars Lines You Can Use In The Middle Of Sex To Hilarious Results
CLASSIC SATIRE: ECW Goes Sci-Fi
Stephen Rivera's 4th Fall: Introduction
Broken News: U.S. Hero with Golden Trunks Becomes Homeless Man
When Wrestling Merchandise Goes Bad: WWE Finger Rings
CLASSIC SATIRE: Guess Who's HHHaving a Baby?
Broken News: WWE Pro Grappling "Gentle Giant" Reunited with Estranged Son
TWF Entertainment: VH1's 40 Greatest Celebrity Feuds
The WWE Developmental Rookie Name Generator
Wacky TV Recapitation: Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling
BACON'S BIGTIME PPV REPORT OF NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS & SUCH.
VIDEO SATIRE: 'Til Death Do Us Part!
SATIRE: WWE Acquires the History Channel!
Sean Carless's WRESTLING WITH MANIA
CLASSIC SATIRE: RAW is STAR WARS!