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Welcome, welcome, to WWE Bragging Rights 2009! The only show this year that will answer the question “Just how many guys can DX pin in one night?” Because personally, all those Spirit Squad and gauntlet matches just left me completely unfulfilled. I CUM DURING EVERY PEDIGREE. Oh also Raw guys will fight Smackdown guys because every wrestler is loyal to the brand that is full of people they hate and who they fight on a weekly basis, and they will fight other guys to win the right to proudly continue fighting guys. I have no idea why the only people I know with whom I can talk about wrestling are sneering, husky gradeschoolers who give me Indian burns and draw attention to the fact that maybe I don't brush my teeth every single day, loudly. ONTO THE SHOW!

So it looks like I scared JR away from his job with my last column. I SAID it was just jokes, JR, you living argument for abortion, you should've been a blowjob you worthless waste of space and resources. I will fight you. JK GET WELL BRO. Anyway, they start off pushing how suddenly Raw and Smackdown have a rivalry of which is the more entertaining hostile work environment. I guess I can understand like, maybe DX and Chris Jericho trying to see who is the biggest star on the biggest show, but what's a guy like Eric Escobar doing in the mix? “Everyone clearly watches Smackdown for ME, Generico Whatshisdick!” That would be like Maven taking credit for anything ever. They will reward a trophy to the show that wins tonight's seven on seven tag match, making the following match pretty pointless, but both teams are eagerly watching from the back anyway.

United States Champion Miz vs Intercontinental Champion John Morrison

The former members of MNMT start things off with the standard feeling eachother out, low-impact moves fare as they face off here tonight in a rare “Oh Jesus please don't let me end up like Marty Jannetty I mean it I'll do anything to avoid a fate of perenially drinking alone, crying while masturbating to Shawn Michaels matches, and updating the Myspaces I made for my cats” match. There's a lot at stake here, I'm telling you guys... “and Andariel Halo.” TWF policy, just play along. Morrison comes off as the stronger of the two in the early going, treating us to a slam and Michaels-esque kip up. Morrison's crowd support outnumers Miz's five to one, but Miz is gonna make it in his prime as he throws Morrison to the floor. You have to have really shitty taste in music to enjoy this recap, I'll just go ahead and tell you that now. Back in with reversal after reversal until Morrison is able to take Miz out for a turn, picking up a two count, but Miz forces Morrison to break on through to the outside once more and he takes over from here, probably because he's awesome. I hear being awesome is a desirable trait amongst humans. I've never been out in public before.

Morrison gets drilled with Miz's corner clothesline and an awesome knee shot that Morrison takes harder than an Owlsley hit. Nearfall and resthold but Mr. Nohjo Rison gets a couple of hope rollups as Miz tries to shut Morrison down once more, but this just lights his fire and they have a striking contest, with Morrison's shots getting cheered and Miz's getting booed. Miz touches him with some hard shots but he can't see that Morrison is not afraid, and Morrison soon plants him for two. A shining Shaman('s blues...this one was lazy) misses but he stays on him, stomping Miz like he was a duck. Chuck Kick connects for two and Morrison goes up, eyeing Miz like a bird of prey, so Miz hauls out, but Morrison leaps out onto him anyway because he won't be denied, and all he's got left is his pride, and so he will rise up, only to bring it up, bring it down, breaking rules, breaking ground, ishmisniss, blocatosh, truffleshuffle, dununuuuuuuuuuuh. Because he's from Smackdown, see. NEARFALL! And a superplex fails pretty terribly as Miz knocks him down and follows through with the double axe handle because he just wantsta be, wantsta be luhuhuhved. Because he's from Raw, see? Miz thinks it to be time for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Morrison disagrees since there's only like four matches tonight and so prolongs things with a Russian legsweep to set up for Starship Pain, but Miz is up quickly enough to cause John to miss the Crystal Ship, shaking him down to the mat. Morrison is stoned immaculate as Miz rolls him up for...the win. There will be blood in the streets in the town of New Haven tonight. Because that's from a Doors song and I am a child, see?

Winner : MIZ

THEY DON'T EVER LET JOHN DO NUFFIN. Good match, I like both guys lots and actually like that Miz won. Morrison will reach his destined six hundred and forty seven world title reigns with or without this win, and it really gives Miz some added UMPH to being, just being. We all need some added umph to being at times. That's why there's meth.

IN THE BACK the Raw team celebrates for no reason as the Smackdown guys look distrodden for no reason. We're then reminded of just how much worse a team featuring Matt Hardy and the Hart Dynasty could really be by seeing footage of the previous Smackdown team losing their spot. WHEN WILL THEY GIVE ERIC ESCOBAR A CHANCE?? We then get some irrelevant trash talking between Cody Rhodes and R Truth where they both say the word truth a lot in their shitty jabs and Truth says that Rhodes will be pinned tonight. Wait, is Truth even on the Smackdown Team? I don't know, it's consisted of like thirteen or fourteen guys by now. It's like a really terrible NOW. So it's like the NOW. Anyway yeah, Cody-R, can't fucking WAIT for that Superstar feud. I mean it, I had better not see this shit leak out of Superstars and ooze onto the shows that are actually sometimes okay perhaps I hear. Big Show then comes in and stands up for Cody, telling Truth to go tell the Smackdown guys that Raw is awesome or something.
Raw Divas vs Smackdown Divas


To the back here now and DX is pumping up their team by making fun of everyone on it like they like to do. Swagger is like fuck this and so they offer to replace him with the first person they see. Cue Hornswoggle and Shawn says “Both the Bible and common sense indicate that you are not a person” and so Swagger is still in. Trips gets serious and asks if they're ready, and apparently he can hear them the first time.

Oh hey it's the one match I was looking forward to somewhat and here it is now.

CM Punk vs Batista vs Rey Mysterio vs World Heavyweight Champion Undertaker, title match

Okay, CM Punk I get, former champion, only heel on the show, yadda yadda. Batista of course gets infinite title shots always. Undertaker is the champion so that is kind of key. Why the fuck, though, is Rey Mysterio in this match? WHOSE THAT JUMPIN OUT THE SKY?! No seriously, what is that? Did a small, complementary-colored bird get into the arena, or...? Punk books it for Rey at the start because it's not often he gets to show off any sort of power moves whatsoever in the Land of Chris Masterses, but Batista is looking out for his pequeno amigo. Fuck if I know whether I said that right, my high school Spanish class was just all fiestas and watching regular movies in English with the Spanish subtitles on. Bringing in tortilla chips never got me so many 100's. Taker just dominates everybody anyway until Rey of all people manage to kick him out of the ring, but this gets him literally killed when he returns to the ring. Loser via death, Rey Mysterio. I already used “literally” and I'm too fucking proud for backspacing, so I'm sticking to it. Taker and Batista reignite their never ignited feud for a bit here with Taker coming out on top following an Old School. Taker then tries to Old School what must be some masked Mysterio fan who, upset at Rey's untimely demise, and the fact that they're just continuing the match, is in the ring bouncing around. Punk protects the fan, however, by yanking down UT and escorting the overenthusiastic fan from the ring via a harsh throw under the ropes. Punk is halted on a superplex, but he manages to eventually hit it anyway and, fucking, where is security that guy is in the ring again! He comes in with a springboard splash only for Punk to abrasively escort him out of the ring once more. Batista bounds over in a sign of guardianship for this torch-carrier of the memory of his, erm, muerto compadre? If that happens to make any sense, it was on purpose, and if it doesn't, then that was the joke.
But so yeah, Batista all over Punk here, just slamming ass and taking names, much like a Catholic schoolteacher, but upon returning from working his cardio via spastic rope shaking gets put down with a big boot. That masked guy is back with an extremely lucky hurricarana attempt but Taker is like “You want to see what it's like little man?! YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE?! I AM THE DEATH VALLEY DEMON AND YOU ARE A CIVILLIAN, POWER BOMB! POWERRR BOMMMMMB!” but Batista, being face, saves the guy via a spear and stares him down until Taker sits up again. That was ridiculous, he should've just fucking killed Rey's ass. I mean the Rey impersonafuck it, Rey didn't really die, you probably already, you know what it doesn't matter Batista is a homosexual. I don't want to see two wrestlers be friends! I watch wrestling because I don't have friends! At least none that don't have random numbers or the year they were born at the end of their name. Why the fuck do they taunt me with this?

Taker goes for Mysterio but Batista helps him out, setting him up for the 619 which connects. Followup spinebuster scores two SURPRISINGLY. Punk breaks the cover and Rey is quick to attempt to do shit, but he gets put to sleep and Batista has to save his ass once more. Taker goes for the Bermuda choke because it is only banned sometimes so why not go for it I guess, but Punk breaks it up and is all over everyone. Pepsi One onto Taker is reversed into a Last Ride for a nearfall and THE ANIMAL takes over on the champ. Striking battle with the crowd clearly against Batista here and Taker panders with a chokeslam for two. I chokeslam my animals when they're misbehaving too. The mailman used to get my lab-daschund mix all riled up every day until I introduced his spine to the hood of my car. I haven't seen him bark since. Or move. Cat keeps coughing up hairballs? Let's see him pump one out after I squeeze his neck tighter than your baby's vagina before you saw a way to make diaper changing double as fingerbang practice. Two horrifying examples should be enough.
Punk blocks a chokeslam with kicks, so Taker just chucks him out and attempts to drive Dave's pile into the mat, but TEEST shuts his shit down with a B-Bomb. Rey breaks up the cover and goes for it himself because he's a ridiculous man. Batista stops it and they jibber jabber and clang clang until Batista shoves him down. TAKER WITH A CHOKESLAM ON THE ANIMAL. That would deserve caps if this was say 1996. Nearfall because it's not and so he patiently waits for Batista to recover to attempt another chokeslam. Double clothesline instead and Punk seeks to ultimately opportune by pinning each guy for consecutive two counts. Batista is up and sends Punk back out before stopping a Rey attack and throwing him out onto Punk. He then turns around and is instantly Tombstoned for the loss.

Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion : Undertaker

Okay match, nothing great, Taker and Punk were particularly unimpressive as most of my interest was divided between the Batista-Rey homodrama and a Lexi Belle video. What. Post-match interview! Skinhead Josh Matthews is here to ask Batista and Rey if their vacation to Massachusetts is off now. Rey gayly states that they tried their best and gives props to Batista for his hard work. The hard work that Rey Mysterio ruined on multiple occasions. Batista, however, says he's sick of being close but left without a cigar and says he's sick of being stabbed in the back by his ese numero uno, and that he AIN'T PLAYIN'. He then roars that he's going to rip his head off and clotheslines that bitch down. Yes, YES! He lays into him while shouting angrily and oh my God finally I can watch a wrestling show without seeing at least twelve terrible bomb-shaped signs in the crowd. Rey snivels like a ferret, I have a ferret and so that IS an accurate comparison, as Batista wrecks his shit around ringside before delivering a SOCCER PUNT, because soccer absolutely includes punting. This is pretty awesome. Is this the first sign of a Devolution stable? See cause it can sound like “devil,” cause they're heels, and at the same time be a stark admission of how the standard of a good wrestler has “devolved” over time to the point where people find Orton and Batista entertaining. I have no idea why I am not writing this from Connecticut yet.

They compare the Raw and Smackdown teams, where we learn that Raw has fat people on it, if you can believe that shit. The teams come out decked in red and blue shirts, which is just going to add to the confusion, considering nobody knows who like half these guys are. And by that I mean just the Hart Dynasty. The ref shows off the useless trophy that you just know you're never going to see again after tonight before we kick things off with R Truth and Cody Rhodes.

Team Raw vs Team Smackdown

Getting their respective weak links out of the way early I see, good strategy by both teams. Okay so this is apparently a 7 on 7 non-elimination tag match, meaning, first guy to get pinned, “or submit,” blows it for the whole team, resulting in what will probably be one hell of a beatdown. They mainly keep it as a bit of a fistfight, AH I MEAN STRIKES, and Killings astounds Rhodes with his vast array of breakdancing moves, ie the fact that he can do the splits and is black so let's just call it breakdancing. Rhodes, raised in a typical Texas household, is infuriated by this and so starts stringing up a rope like ole Dusty taught him. Big Show, sensing an imminent disqualification, tags in, and so Truth tags out to Kane. They do a bit of a staredown, perhaps remembering their past tag team, maybe out of sentimentality towards each other but probably mostly because it was also the last time either of them was over. They take to punching and clotheslining and all that. Leg drop scores a two on Kane and so Swaggerton feels up to the challenge. He instantly is killed, so Matt Hardy comes in to even things out. They do shit, just shit, and a flurry of punches strips Jack of his shirt. Big legdrop scores two for the immortal jobber, so Swagger steps out to choke a smoke, clotheslining Hardy when he pursues. Cody fakes out Matt, leading Jack to attack him from behind as I realize just how regular joe sounding everyone's name is. Where are the Hulks, Sheiks, and Bastions of yore? What's all this Ted and Eric shit?

Shit shows signs of breaking down on the outside, but the refs put it to rest and everyone peacefully obliges...FOR NOW. Dun dun damn I don't care. Swagger puts Hardy down before tagging in THE BIG MAN. The least over one. That's not Kane or Big Show. Mark Henry lumbers on in and goes APE! Or he works slow restholds and headbutts a lot. It's just whatever. He fucks on an elbow drop but nags an escaping Hardy and in comes Shawn Michaels to, um, get put down pretty quickly with a Side Effect. Jesus' tits Shawn, really? FINLAY! Goes back and forth with Shawn and I can't ever recall seeing these guys fight, which is a shame, because I had a hell of a GM Mode feud between these two. It lasted three and a half years and was strictly composed of Iron Man and hour-long Submission matches every week. Every other wrestler was in a tag team except for Jim Neidhart, who jobbed to a revolving door of Divas every night. WHY AM I NOT IN CREATIVE YET. Anyway, double count spot with HBK and Finlay until Michaels manages to hit a superkick, but DH Smith is able to tag in and exact some Canadian vengeance on Michaels in the form of a tag team move with partner Tyson Kidd. Jericho in now for restholds and STAWMPIN' until co-captain Kane gets the call for a demonic dropkick. There was flames. This beatdown continues amongst the heels until Kidd whiffs on his springboard elbow and suddenly it becomes time for Tyson to play the Game. You all just lost, and I am a gigantic faggot.

It's knees and spinebusters all around until Kane plants Trips with a chokeslam that sees Tyson Kidd hilariously try to get the pin. It's hilarious because it's Tyson Kidd. Y2J's turn and he bulldogs Hunter but goes for the Lionsault for some goddamn reason, probably because he is an asshole. HHH rolls clear and makes the tag to Kofi Kingston, the imitation Jamaican. I gotta tell you, mon, I love Jamaica, it's so beautiful. Take a five pound bag of rice with you if you ever get the chance to go, cause see the going rate for a bj down there is approximately four grains of rice, and sometimes they even have flies in their throat! I can promise you've never had a hummer like that, it's incredible. Kofi is all over the place with his islander moves. Long Island just breeds athletes, I'm telling you. Boom Boom Pow, but that chicken Jericho jacks his style, Kofi might as well tag in Jack Swagger now, but a Walls stops that despite that move being so two thousand and late, and so Kofi kicks him. I couldn't think of what else to say. Anyway, the Harts save Jericho from being pinned after the Trouble in Paradise, only for Henry to take them out. Everyone starts running in from here and it's just shit finishers everywhere all over, with Raw looking to gain the upperhand. Big Show directs Kofi to climb up top, only for Show to hilariously chokeslam his ass. He then gives Trips a KO Punch and just steps down as Jericho pins Kingston for the win.

Winner : Team Smackdown

I was kinda feeling the match, everyone did a great job of seeming loyal to their show. Right up until the blatant betrayal. Funny finish that cements JeriShow's asshole aura, and a real feud with DX might be okay. Good match otherwise, nobody looked especially shitty except for the people that did nothing. I mean, if Cody Rhodes was on Smackdown, he would be on the Escobar/McIntyre/Ziggler ex-Team Smackdown. Ultimately disappointed with the lack of an unauthorized ECW-chanting Balls Mahoney run-in, but okay nevertheless. Anyway. You know what it's time for now. Cena is GITTIN PAWMPED and lengthy video package leads us in to, well, Kofi and Cody in the back. Cody is starting shit, saying how Kofi blew the match. Kofi then tries to shift the blame onto the white man in Big Show, but Cody knows better than that. They do some "back off bro shoving" which Cody wins. His ass is going to get pounded by some black dudes later, and I don't mean he's going to jail. IRONMAN TIME.

I think it's nice they named a match after my penis, she deserves it. Anyway, the story and stips with this is that everyone loves Cena-Orton matches so they're going to give us a hell of a finale to finally, finally put an end to those “best of infinity series” jokes, and if Cena loses he leaves Raw, and if Orton loses he can't challenge Cena for the title again I am pretty sure. That could just be some artificial thought my brain came up with in a deluded attempt to be optimistic in regards to wrestling, though, so don't quote me on it, but let's still hope. They do all dramatic shit for what will be “A battle for the ages” and “THE feud of today” and all sorts of things that actually make me look forward to this somewhat if they maybe do some bullshit finish to not make it last quite an hour because that's a long ass time I mean shit. SHIT, DOG. My point is,

WWE Champion John Cena vs Randy Orton, Ironman title match

They start off slow, if you can believe that. Then Cena slaps on the STFU out of nowhere and Orton taps straight the fuck out to give Cena the win. Why the fuck couldn't all of their previous matches have gone that way goddamn. Don't they know how much sleep I lose over this? Well, not a whole lot, since I usually wait until Monday to do these between classes, but I'm sure there is a plethora of other recappers out there who bust their ass recording every chinlock. Me, I just make shit up and hope it happened. Anyway, they continue with the match and Cena hits a blockbuster and top rope legdrop, probably, and he goes for the five knuckle shuffle, only to walk directly into an RKO for three. Jesus Harold Christ, this is ridic. The dude can get stabbed and still put away THE Luther Reigns, but an RKO at the beginning of a match brings him down? Allright well let's just, here see now Orton is beating Cena up all over ringside, hitting him into barricades and steps and those sort of things. A monitor shot gets a nearfall (it is no RKO, after all) and he continues the assault back in the ring with a microphone. Cena gets busted open. What. They'll hold three Hells in Cells in one night without a drop spilled, yet Cena's forehead is needing a tampon ten minutes into a match? They then piss me off by stopping the clock. I mean, WHAT. No, you don't DO that. This is fucking disgusting. I want to see a legitimately injured man smear his blood everywhere for forty-five minutes, not receive immediate medical attention! I want a refund in the form of a blowjob from Vince McMahon himself. A young Jamaican child with flies in his throat and plenty of tears for added lubrication is a suitable substitute.
Cena isn't even acting hurt, and so after everyone decides that the blubbering vagina's bloodspurt is good to go, we resume and Orton regains the advantage, taking over on Cena and even targeting the cut. Cena teases some comebacks but ultimately gets his ass put down repeatedly. Humping signals the RKO but Cena dodges and hits his big AND CERTAINLY NOT ONLY five moves, but Orton RKO's following the Attitude Adjustment, and it's a pointless double pin, so they're 2-2 instead of 1-1. They recover quickly enough and Orton tries for a corner charge, only to eat turnbuckle. Cena sets him up and adjusts that ass from the top rope to pull ahead 3-2. Before they can restart, however, the other two Ortons come out to attack Cena, drilling him with Dreamy Road or whatever the fuck and laying Orton over him to tie it up. Kofi however is out now with a chair and he chases both of them to the back, with no R Truth to be seen for some reason, so I guess that whole thing was pointless.

Cena is up and pissed off from here, on Orton like a fly on shit (only half of that is a metaphor) so THE VIPER retreats to the outside, where his burrow must be. Must be. Cena foolishly follows and Orton unleashes his coiled up rage, striking with venom. We get a video game moment in Orton slamming Cena into a big pyro thing, having it ignite and shoot shit off. What, is he going to rub his face in catering food next? Nope, instead he blows Cena up. This scores the pinfall. They keep up with the fireworks shit as Orton grabs a chair and nails him, trying to set him up so he'll get blown up by the pyro and everyone sells it as if it's an actual attempted murder spot. It LUCKILY doesn't work and so we are robbed of a burning John Cena image. Of course he'd probably just stand up and hit an FU for the pinfall, flames licking off his shoulders and all. I think I would really like Cena at that point. Sure as shit beats a rickety Ram Jam as a way to go out. Anyway, Orton seethes with frustration as he lays into Cena with punches, throwing him back down towards the ring. He hurls the steps at Cena, which scores two. STILL NO RKO AFTER ALL. Randall continuously slams him with a chair but Cena will not die. He rolls the carcass back into the ring, probably to devour whole because he's reptillian and all of that, but Cena avoids certain death for the second time tonight, scoring a rollup to tie things back up.

Orton is once again salivatingly angry and he just nonstop punches Cena from here until, well, I lied, they do stop. He eyes Cena up and down before drilling him with the elevated DDT onto the floor to take the reigns once again as leader and Head Viper. He says fuck it and goes to pin the definitely legitimate Marine a second time, but we get the obligatory heroic kickout. Gahvin Stahmpin' and knee dropping. He repeatedly drops Cena with right hands but can't quite get three off of them because he doens't have cyborg arms, the fool. You know he can afford it. Cena, however, is THE PROTOTYPE and so his punches become supereffective, seeming to heal him in the process because goddamnit if it he isn't as spry as that kid who picked flowers during recess and you always aimed your dodgeballs or even just rocks his way. So yeah, Orton looks to try avoiding Cena for the remaining twenty minutes and so they barely fight just around and eventually through the crowd and into the back where Orton continues the hauling of ass with Cena in hot pursuit. Even a trashcan throw sees Orton avoid any real ass kicking until they are back down ringside, where Cena really wrecks his shit, holding onto Orton to make sure he doesn't dart off again. He gets slammed all around and smashed with stairs before setting them back up correctly. He then hits an AA off the stairs and through an announce table like he did on Saturday Night Main Event like two or three years ago. Yes yes, gigantic faggot, I know. PINFALL and we're tied here towards the end, and this bitch had better not go into overtime.
Orton kicks out of a second pin attempt and so Cena sets up a table, laying Orton out on it. He comes flying from up top with a legdrop but Orton dodges as snakes are wont to do, it's just their nature, and so Cena literally crashes and burns. LITERALLY. They revert back to sluggish punches from here with the crowd into it even though I'm extremely burnt out at this point. I barely have the attention span for eleven minute irreverent cartoons, let alone...this. Cena once again looks for the five moves he really likes out of the definite dozens if not hundrozens he knows, but his shoulder tackle takes out the ref at like the almost very end of the match. Of course. Of course it does. RKO drills Cena but the ref is down and so Orton is delicioso (pretty positive that's not right but I don't know enough Spanish to change it to anything else.) He impatiently waits on another ref to drag his ass out there, but Cena kicks out at two by this point. Orton flips his shit and decks the referee at this. Don't think we're gonna see anymore replacement refs burrying out here tonight. Still tied in the final minute with Orton looking for a Batista Kick (son of a bitch has got a hell of an ego, he's already named it after himself) but Cena dodges and slaps on the STFU once again. He holds out for almost the full minute, but finally taps out with five seconds to spare. You know, the five seconds that could've been spent earlier by him not immediately tapping the moment Cena even looked like he was going to use the STF.

Winner and NEW infuriatingly champion : John Cena

They gush over what a tremendous showing and night and jibbajabba, I don't know, Cena won, I'm tired.

Summarizing, I'd say not a lot of the matches really gave you anything to look forward to or really revel in. I mean, Miz won, that's the end of that. Smackdown won a trophy that has never meant anything and never will, and I guess DX and JeriShow are going to not like eachother. Oh, and let's not forget the oodles of interest CODY RHODES has got his fingers into! Yeah, not a huge event, but overall I'd have to say it was a moderately entertaining pay per view, as far as the matches themselves went, until the Iron Man match, anyway. But frankly I'm not a fan of that concept to begin with, and throwing in Cena and Orton is just a recipe for a lot of time spent picking at your fingers instead of looking at the computer screen/television if you're rich or make poor decisions with your money. It wasn't a bad match and I guess if I liked both guys I'd be way more into it, but I don't like most things, so what can I do? Not give my opinion on stuff so as to not give a skewed version of the truth? Probably.Anyway, I guess thumbs are at a general horizon but dipping downwards. I don't know it just happened, that is all I can really muster to say. You can never ramble enough. Hey, so, END SHOW.


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November 2006


by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).