BLOODLETTING
Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, welcome
back to the place we call BLOODLETTING. Another week has gone by and here we are yet again. As I sit here writing this column
on Sunday night I'm quite sure most of you are watching the debacle that is the WWE Royal Rumble. And before you ask, no,
I'm not watching it. I'm not taping it and I won't be borrowing it from anyone who does. Most of you should know already that
I no longer partake in the WWE. Once and a while I'll catch a glimpse of Raw or SmackDown. Then I get disgusted and reminded
of why I no longer watch. I do still buy some of their home releases though. Not of the events but their best ofs and specials.
I own the following:
Hard
Knocks: the Chris Benoit Story
the Ultimate Ric Flair Collection
Mick Foley's Greatest Hits and Misses
Cheating Death,
Stealing Life: the Eddie Guerrero Story
From the Vault: Shawn Michaels
Rey Mysterio 619
the Rise and Fall of ECW
And
I do plan on eventually picking up the Monday Night Wars DVD. Now all of this brings me around to the point of this column.
Recently I watched the Rise and Fall of ECW. You see I used to be a big fan of ECW like a lot of you. I thought that ECW was
the best promotion in the world and I hoped that they would knock off WCW and become the real #2 promotion. But alas, this
was not to be. The talent raids from both WCW and WWE and the shitty TV deal from the then Nashville Network that drove a
stake through the heart of ECW.
We all know for a fact that both WCW and WWE stole liberally from ECW. WCW stole the
luchadors and the light heavyweights and created the WCW Cruiserweight division. This aided WCW immensely in the Monday Night
battle with WWE because it drew so many viewers. I, for one, would watch WCW exclusively for the Cruiserweight Division and
Chris Benoit. I loved Rey Mysterio Jr., Dean Malenko, Psicosis, Juventud Guerrera, Eddie Guerrero, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Jericho,
Billy Kidman, and Blitzkrieg.
WWE stole their "Attitude" from ECW. I mean does anyone not think that a big part of
Stone Cold's character wasn't stolen from the Sandman. What a coincidence, I can't stand either of them! The stole the hardcore
matches and the tables and ladders and chairs. And maybe worst of all they stole the Dudleys and they stole Taz(z). And I
can tell you this, I will never forgive them for turning the Human Suplex Machine, the man who said "Beat me if you can, survive...if
I let you" into a bitchass little job boy. Despite what his height may be, Taz(z) was and is now head shoulders above more
than half of the WWE roster.
Oh and they both tried to swipe Raven but failed to get him over despite the fact that
he was the most over guy in ECW. They couldn't find a way to fucking use Raven, one of the best characters in wrestling
history. One half of one of the longest running and most interesting feuds ever in the Raven and Tommy Dreamer feud.
And
take a look at the Raw Vs. Smackdown video game roster, it includes:
Bubba Ray Dudley
Chris Benoit
Chris Jericho
D-Von
Dudley
Eddie Guerrero
Rey Mysterio
Rhyno
Rob Van Dam
Tajiri
Mankind aka Mick Foley
and Taz(z) as
an announcer. Remind you of any other roster you might have seen at one time? Yeah, that's right, they were all in ECW. And
need I remind you how much better Rhyno, Tajiri, and RVD all were in ECW? No, I didn't think so.
So let me ask all
of you, my fine readers, does the Rise and Fall of ECW = WWE? It all seems to add up to me. Yeah, so I won't be watching the
Rumble. I've got a few old ECW tapes and DVDs and of course those great bonus matches WWE decided to include on their little
obit DVD. Only 7 matches??? PLEASE. And then there's the greatest promotion that there is now and ever was in the Untied States,
Ring of Honor. Only a few more weeks until the Third Anniversary Celebration begins on February 19.
Until next time,
keep your head up.
TWF FLASHBACK
November 2006
SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!
With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).
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