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BACK-LEG FRONTKICK:
THE OFFICIAL ARCHIVES!
 
Welcome to the BACK-LEG FRONTKICK~!  For 6+ years the Flagship standard-bearer of Insanity here at TWF-- and a column that started out innocently enough as a straight NEWZ Review/Parody blunderfuck littered with Photoshoppery, opinion and absurdity, only to mutate completely into the all-encompassing  patchwork of evil it is today! From  Giant "Completely Random News" columns to my ridiculous "BREAKING NEWZ" satires to "THIS JUST IN" mini parodies, to "not quite fitting anywhere else videos" I've labeled as "And Now For Something Stupid", to random one-night Recapitations of WWE and TNA shows, to Photoshop of the Day's-- by gawd, you'll find them all here and reassembled for your reading pleasure like a retarded Frankenstein monster made entirely of stupidity and love!
 
Teasers below all read chronologically as originally posted, so if you want my very latest lazy aberration, then take your sad little pudgy digits and scroll your mouse down to the very bottom of the screen! And enjoy! Or be completely sickened, offended and disgusted! Or if you're like me, all four at once! While masturbating. And eating a delicious meatball sub. (Ok. There's no sub.).

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK~!:
7 YEARS OF EVIL ON ONE-EASY TO READ PAGE:

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 09.17.03: Giving My Two Cents (Then Taking it Back Since It's Canadian, And Thus Worthless). Featuring: God Smites The Useless ! It's Not Sodom And Gomorrah, but Hey, That One Dude Did Do Unnatural Things With His Ass! Plus, Impending HHH Wedding Buzz (And Not From YJ Stinger Bees), Chyna Changes Her Name But Keeps Her Masculinity, And The Actual Retail Value Of TNA. All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 09.22.03: Featuring, Brock Won't Be Representing The Special Olympics Any Time Soon, Goldberg Gets The Gold Then Never Spends It Again, X-Pac Don't Treat Chyna Like A Woman, He Don't Treat Her Like A Man, He Treat Her Like A Punching Bag, And Vince Wants To Slip The McManhood To Steph? Dear God. All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

 

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 09.29.03: Featuring: Theories On Stephanie's Genetic Anomalies, The Non-White House Hopes Of Teddy Long, Mark Henry's Potential Hibernation, How The Divas May Have Broke The 7th Seal Of The Apocalypse, And Hunter Won't Put Over The Animal Kingdom Either; All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 10.30.03: Halloween Edition! But Not Really! Featuring Insane Musings! Hukamania Running , err, Gingerly Walking Wildly! Stu Hart Taps Out To The Grim Reaper! Road Warrior Hawk Dines On Death..Literally! No Mercy Quick & Dirty, And My Super-Secret Inside Coverage of The Wedding Of The Century! Only Three Mid-Carders Were Held Back In The Making Of The These Nuptials! All This, Plus Much More~! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 07.31.04: Featuring 1/1000 of Bret Hart Seeks Revenge on Vince McMahon, Paul Bearer Is Trapped In a Glass Case Of Emotion, Mordecai Raptured To The Unemployment Line, O'Hare's Telling The Police Something They Don't Already Know, Rica Flair Pisses Off Foley AND Bret Hart, Then Travels The Known Universe! Wrestling's Most Celebrated Mustaches And Mullets! And Joanie Laure Debunks Myths of Her Gender By Hosting a Transsexual Pageant! You Go, Umm, Questionable Girl! All This, Plus So Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 08.31.04: Featuring , A Woman Beats Austin, Warrior Ramblings, Sable Released Into Captivity, Viking Brock Lesnar Thrown Over-Board, Divas Search Fallout, The Kane/Lita Wedding Album & A Rabid Road Warrior Animal Attacking Random People On Video... This Fall of Fox! All This Plus Much (MUCH) More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: (09/23/04): Featuring Chronic Jeff Jarrett, Heidenreich For Dinner, Hulk Hogan Hype, The Death Of WCW, "Russo Style!", New Gimmicks For Randy Orton, The Debut Of "Bullshit ", Eddie Guerrero Gone Loco, The Raw Report Card, The Ultimate Collection Of Warrior Insults, And Gene Snitsky's Makes Your Pro Choice For You! All This Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 10.22.04: Featuring: No More Patterson Jokes?, RAW And SmackDown Diarrhea, HHH Travels Through Time! Terri Runnels For Sale! Dissecting Vince! A Look At Some New Faces! And The Missing Taboo Tuesday Rant! All This Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 11.19.04: Featuring: Goldberg Has Heat With Hef, Huge Firings, WWF sues WWE,What Really Happened To Vince, And The Return of BULLSHIT! Featuring Dave Gagnon & Harry Simon! TNA Invades WWE?, Carlito's "Conspiracy", Randy Savage Is Insane, The Week That Was, And More Snitsky Than You Can Shake A Stick At (Or A Coat Hanger). All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 12.03.04: YEAR-END 2004: In This Edition, I Look Back At The Year That Was; Featuring Old Favorites, Quotable Quotes, Highlights And Lowlights...And Of Course The Breakout Star of 2004 (Firguratively And Literally!) Gene Snitsky! All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 01.22.05: In This Edition, Sean Looks at WWE Divas In Playboy, Brock Lesnar's Return, More WWE ShopZone Buffoonery, And A Cameo By Canadian Bacon! Joanie Loves (To Kick The Shit Out Of ) X-Pacy! The Homicidal, Genoicidal, Suicidal Erik Watts, Or Maybe Just The Last Part, New Jack Stabs John Cena, And A Whole Lotta Wrestlers Doing Stupid Things. Plus Three New Additions To The Mullet Hall Of Fame! Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: (02/25/05): New Look...Same Great Taste! This Week Featuring: My Deep Dark Secret; Lex Luger Is Guilty...Of Being A Fucking Moron; Anvil In Trouble; Stone Cold = Dr. Evil? Me Getting Biblical; Vince Doesn't Have A Leg To Stand On; Amy Weber Fucks Off; TNA Is Not OK; Motivation: TWF Style! And Buying Batista's Underwear...All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 03/23/05: Two Year TWF Anniversary Special: Featuring Completely Random News; The ULTIMATE Triple H Collection, Wrestling With Time, Matt Hardy FECES The Truth, Worst Wrestlemania Matches EVER; Original Wrestlemania Hi-Jinks, And WWE Films Presents! All This, Plus Much More~! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 04/15/05: In This WARRIOR-SIZED Edition, We Look At WWE Hirings; WWE Firings; Fat Girls Crying; Searching For Divas; Bischoff's Naked Wife; A New Satire; And WARRIOR Wants To End My Life. (Well Sorta). All This Plus Much More!! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 06/17/05: In This Jam-Packed Edition, I Help Matt Hardy Start Dating Again, Explore Heidenreich's Strange Transformation From Cole-Raping Poet To Pied Piper; JBL Serves Blue Meanie A Low-Carb Potato, Harlem Sewer Mall-Rats, Orton's Shit Doesn't Stink, Plus The TWF Debut Of "If They Mated!". All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 07/20/05: In This Lazy Summer Edition, I Look At Matt Hardy: The Excellence Of Edgucution, Between A Brock and A Hard Place, Mr. Ass Is An Asshole, Vince McMahon In The White House, And Getting To Know The Potential Divas! All This, Plus Much More! Or Less! Whatever! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 09/09/05: FINAL EDITION? This Month We Look At Vince Screwing Bret Screwing Sunny, New Identities For Muhammad Hassan, Raven Quote's The Torah Never More, Wrestling's Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, Wrestling's WORST Theme Songs, And Revised Motivational Posters! All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 11/25/05: 2005 Quasi-Year End Blowout Edition Or Something Like That!: Featuring: Completely Random News: Not Really Year In Review! Plus, *ALL NEW* Material Including WWE Whore Zone, Vince Opens A Wendy's, And Chappelle's Show: WWE Style! All This Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: SUMMER OF SEAN! (06/09/06) Featuring: TWF True Hollywood Death Valley Story: Kane; Plus, RAW Thoughts, "Whatever Happened To", And Much More! This Column Is Brought To You By God, Jesus And MR. McMahon! Discretion Is Advised. Some Scenes Contain Stuff. Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: SEANDOWN!: (06/24/06) Smackdown the way it was meant to be seen! On a Friday night instead of getting laid! Good choice!. This week, Booker T. & Lashley continue to have as many matches as William Regal says "All hail King Booker!", the sovereign nation of Mexicool is divided in unruly cival war! And Mark Henry vows to win the World Heavyweight Championship, in hopes that the belt is really chocolate wrapped in foil! All this plus much more! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: Total Nonstop Bullshit! (07/21/06) Sean Carless's Ridiculous View Into TNA As Seen By...Sean Carless.(Who Else Would It Be?) Featuring: Complete TNA iMPACT! Recap, Blowing The Lid Off Of Terrorism In Orlando~!, And Reasons Why Jeff Jarrett Is... Awesome? All This Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: (08/10/06) *Jam-Packed Edition*, Featuring Fall TV Preview 2006, Completely Random News: With WWEnzymes~!, Diva's Search Fallout, Patterson's Heart Go Banana, Hulk Hogan Jobs To A Counch, Vince Fights Science, And More! Plus, Undertaker Taken Under The Wing Of Mr. Miyagi, An *Exclusive* Behind The Scenes Look at John Cena's "The Marine", And Things I Learned From Watching WWE! All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: SEANDOWN 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO!: (08/26/06) This week, Sean's got all your Smackdown bases covered! Featuring, George Orwell's tale coming to life as the Animals are revolting! "Terkays", Buffalos, Pitbulls and umm, Batistas running amok!Or Walking Amok. Through pit of Dangers. Plus, emasculated broken men doing battle to determine who is more pathetic! Plus Bonus pics! Stupidity! Anything to take our minds of this show! Click HERE to read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: RAW RECAPPING FOR DUMMIES: (11/30/06): It's a RAW Review more bare-bones than Nicole Ritchie. It's RAW Recapping For Dummies~! Featuring the Captain Trips Virus released, with 2 Casualties thus far, and more to come (Many more). Plus, the will of the people see a fledgling pudgy announcer chosen over a marquee inter-champion showdown. Holy shit. It's no wonder we've had to put up with George Bush for 8 years. All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: (01/29/07): Insane Stream Of Consciousness Buffoonery Is Back..For One Day Anyway! Featuring: Kurt Angle's Plunge Into Madness, Kenny Dykstra Turns Lesbian, Undertaker's Secret Days As A Member Of The Riverdale Gang, Fan Laws, FanGirls, Abyss Has Got A Gun, Motivational Posters For New ECW, And A Special In-Column Satire: WWE's Oscar Season Movies! All This, Plus Much More~! Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: EXTREMELY DRUNK WRESTLING~!: (02/08/07:) Full *uncensored* insane drunken ramblings on EC-Dub!... and a heartfelt goodbye to Anna Nicole Smith. Ok, maybe not that heartfelt. Something gets felt, though. I promise. Click HERE to read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: BREAKING NEWZ~! (03/03/07) Hulk Hogan attends the funeral of Anna Nicole Smith!...but why was he REALLY there? (bruther). Join paragon of journalistic integrity Sean Carless as he blows the lid off this story with SHOCKING INFORMATION that you will not believe! (And if you do, dear god, man.) Click HERE for this breaking story!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: BREAKING NEWZ~! (03/25/07) TNA's Abyss goes on a savage killing spree at the behest of his mother! 2/3rds of the TNA locker room murdered! Join paragon of journalistic integrity Sean Carless as he blows the lid off this story with SHOCKING INFORMATION that you will not believe! Because it's all made up! But, hey, whatever! Click HERE for this breaking story!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: SPOTLIGHT: GIMMICK TABLE HIJACKED! (03/30/07) Just in case you missed Sean Carless' Guest appearance at Wrestlecrap last week, here's an archived look at his one-time-only fill-in GIMMICK TABLE. Featuring WWE International! A ridiculous look at WWE's possible global expansion. Where else can you see WWE trying to book events in the former communist Soviet Union? (and Of Course Not realizing It's No Longer Communist. USA! USA! USA!). Click HERE to check it out!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: BREAKING NEWZ~! (04/01/07) As you get ready for Wrestlemania, paragon of journalistic integrity Sean Carless blows the lid off last night's SUPER-SECRET WWE HALL OF FAME INDUCTIONS that you had to not see to not believe! Savage! Steamboat! Warrior! All were secretly honored! Click HERE for this breaking story!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: BREAKING NEWZ~! (06/12/07) If you saw RAW, you'll know that Vince was whacked! Join Sean Carless as he blows the lid off of the ALTERNATE ENDING for Vince's apparent DEATH, not-at-all stolen from another controversial Television moment, that didn't happen on Sunday night. Not even. Click HERE for this breaking story!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: BREAKING NEWZ~!: (08/13/07) Completely true and not tasteless and insensitive breaking news into the *shocking* sudden death of Brian "Crush" Adams! Just which shocking parties were possibly involved? And how did his partnership in "Kronik" possibly lead to his death? (IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK). Click HERE for all the latest details!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: THIS JUST IN!~!: (08/17/07) Hulk Hogan's house Robbed! (seriously). Culprit revealed! (not seriously). Click HERE for all the latest details, Bruther!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: RUSSOLAND REVISITED.(09/14/07) Join Sean as he tackles Russoland for the first time in over a year in search of the elusive legends known as "Common Sense" and "Continuity". Then marvel as he slips dangerously into an alcohol induced coma as a result. (seriously.). Click HERE to read Sean's full insane Recapitation!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: BREAKING NEWZ~!: SUPER SECRET WRESTLEMANIA 24 DREAMCARD LEAKED! (09/21/07) Join Professional Truth-Teller Sean Carless as he reveals the huge Wrestlemania card Vince McMahon doesn't want you to know about! Mostly because it's a lie! Ahem. Click HERE for all the latest details!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: RAW RECAPPING FOR DUMMIES~! (10/02/07). Sean Carless returns this week with a special look at RAW from his deranged perspective with a full dose of unbridled ridiculousness! Triple H does a job to the guy who passes him the salt every Sunday night at dinner! Cody Rhodes is fed to the Rookie Monster! And Randy Orton finds Super Cena's Kryptonite! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read Sean's insane RAW ramblings!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: THIS JUST IN: SAVE_US_BKR.T?: (11/09/07) Following WWE's SaveUs_222 , TNA has started their own viral marketing campaign. But just who is it that's coming to TNA, Sucka? It's a real heads-cratcher, if you can dig that. Join Sean Carless as he attempts to umm, solve this mystery and uncover the identity, uncover the identity, uncover the identity, uncover the identity, uncover the identity and uncover the identity of TNA's newest signee. Click HERE to read. No neckbones were on in the making of this expose.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: (12/08/07): Obscenely Huge Year-End 2007 Edition! Featuring: The Death Of Superman, The Death Of A Guy Who Never Existed! People We Wish Never Existed! The Rise And Fall And Fall And Fall And Fall of ECW! The Return Of Conan The Midcard Destroyer! The Plight Of Made In The ICU Lex Luger! Y2J saves Us From Everything But North Carolina Apathy! Vince McMahon Blows Up, Stitches Himself Back Together, Then Apparently Puts Wile E. Coyote In Charge Of Creative! All This, Plus Bonus Items For the Xmas Season, And Mick Foley Starring In: "I AM HARDCORE LEGEND". Click HERE To Read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: SPECIAL FEATURE: PYRO & BALLYHOO~!: A Proper Gentleman's Guide To TN Of A. (01/10/08) By now, most of us are familiar with the TNA Impact script leaked onto the internet, and the subsequent hilarious coining in said script of the expression "PYRO & BALLYHOO". Join guest TNA Recapper, Rupert Cuthbertson-Smythe, who much like the expression ballyhoo, comes to us straight from the 1800's, for his very special one-time only recap of last Thursday's Impact! Click HERE to read TNA Ye Olde English-style~!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK REVIEW: ECW: WITH ENOUGH VELOCITY, YOU CAN CREATE HEAT. (01/16/08) Join Sean Carless as he ventures to the Land of the extreme. Which extreme? Take your pick: Boredom? Apathy? Both? Maybe. Plus, the first ever meeting of CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero!...this week. Plus, the potential racial powder-keg in a Armando/Heyman confrontation, And a plea to Fans of new ECW! Both of you! Click HERE to read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: HHH: THE FINAL VERDICT: (02/18/08) On a bet, I made a decree to never again make light of Triple H in ANY capacity, provided that WWE somehow, someway ultimately kept him out of Wrestlemania's Main Event for just ONE YEAR. I then vowed to "retire" in the event I slipped up. And really Retire. No Piper retire. Or Foley retire. Or Terry Funk retire. Or hell, any fucking Wrestling retirement. But it was all moot, because we now all know-uh how-uh that-uh turned-uh out-uh. This was my stupid VIDEO response. Click HERE for more!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: THIS JUST IN: IT'S A HARDY KNOCK LIFE FOR ME. (03/16/08) Poor Jeff Hardy's home burned to the ground. The smell of some 300 mesh shirts was said to permeate the air. But what happened? How did the blaze start? I may have found some answers. Or made tasteless jokes. Or both! Click HERE to read and watch!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: TWF SAYS GOODBYE: (04/05/08) With all the outpouring of genuine emotion for the last match of a true WWE legend, we here at TWF do OUR part, and pay video tribute to the man who's WWE career is now seemingly over. Click HERE to watch our emotional video tribute.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: WRESTLING IN A NUTSHELL: THE MEXICOOLS! (05/01/08) A brand new feature, packed full of INSANFORMATION! "Wrestling in a Nutshell" is just that, a quick & dirty look at a past wrestler or angle that you may have forgotten, or maybe never wanted to remember again! This week's topic: THE MEXICOOLS. Vince McMahon had already parodied and racially-stereotyped every race, color and creed before, so how why not some wrestling gardeners? I mean, clearly that's the only occupation in Mexico, right? Click HERE to read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: THE RAW DIARIES~!: SEAN CARLESS'S INSANE 3 WEEK LOOK AT MILLION DOLLAR MANIA! (06/23/08) For three weeks, our fearless leader has kept detailed notes on the "rousing success" that was RAW & Million Dollar Mania. You know, the only game show on TV where you're guaranteed to see the host crushed by giant electronic equipment. But tread lightly, my friends, for unbridled insanity awaits you! You may never be the same again. Click HERE to read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK RECAPITATION: HULK HOGAN'S CELEBRITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING~! (10/24/08) Ten Celebrities all vie for the honor and prestige of being named first ever CCW CHAMPION. A belt, that sooner or later will end up around Hulk's waist, just because! That's how these things usually work. So, join me, Sean Carless, as I broke down the very first episode and give analysis as only I can (can't?), and walk you through the celebs first day on the job. Drop a leg out there guys! Click HERE to read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK PRESENTS: JOEY STYLES' PUNCH-OUT~! (12/12/08) Just in time for the Christmas season! Drop it in your stocking...right after you drop a 300 pound Investment Banker! It's Joey Styles Punch-out! -- The only thing more embarrassing than being knocked out by the Subway Guy! Click HERE to view the trailer!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: 01/06/09- HUSTLE.LOYALTY. ERECT. In early January, after a mixed tag match featuring a returning Trish Stratus, in honor of his fake military heritage, our favorite faux Marine looked to be carrying a "loaded rifle" into the ring. Ahem.  As weeks progressed, the result of clearly not enough "Five knuckle shuffling" seemed to be appearing time and time again. with seemingly no end in sight.  This was my new John Cena T-shirt re-design in honor of Johnny Boy's apparent muscularity control problem. CLICK HERE TO VIEW.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY:02/09/09- LOOKS LIKE THE WALLS AREN'T THE ONLY THINGS BREAKING DOWN. So, while on tour in British Columbia, Chris Jericho punched a woman in the face. And the WWE STILL didn't book a match with him and Steve Austin at Wrestlemania. Come on, sometimes these things just write themselves. That said, this was a movie poster for a WWE Film remake of my own design.  CLICK HERE TO VIEW.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: AND NOW FOR SOMETHING STUPID~!: BENNY HHHILL! (VIDEO) (02/25/08) Even in fast motion, Trips moves at the speed of a Tectonic plate. Click
HERE
to View this quick & dirty Stupidity!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: AND NOW FOR SOMETHING STUPID~!: THE KOZLOV SHOW! (VIDEO) (03/28/09) In Soviet Russia, Kozlov Show taped in front of Studio Audience. Ever wonder what would happen if The Moscow Mauler replaced Bill Cosby in a 1980's Sitcom? What? I'm the only one? Click HERE to View this quick & dirty Stupidity!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY:04/28/09- THE SECRET OF BATISTA'S CONSTANT TITLE CHANCES! Ever wonder how it is that Batista receives so many nonsensical World Title opportunities that even Triple H is heard saying "Who's this guy fucking?...and do they have room for one more?" THE ANSWER IS FINALLY REVEALED WITHIN. And Yes, it's exactly what you think it is.   CLICK HERE TO VIEW.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: LATINO SEED: THE AMAZING TRUE STORY OF DOMINICK MYSTERIO GUERRERO! (05/01/09) My contribution to the vaunted & revered and fabricated Wrestling themed Latino celebration of STINKO DE MAYO! My effort?: Wrestling's first & only rivalry where two men vied to be the first one to scale a ladder and thus legally win ownership of a small child! (Somewhere out there, Michael Jackson is no doubt learning how to take bumps!). Click HERE to read!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (06/17/09): HHH BELIEVES THE CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE. (AND NOT JUST BECAUSE HE'LL NEED FRESH PEOPLE TO PIN EVENTUALLY.) After RAW went off the air on Monday, HHH called a crying child into the ring. We all know where this is going....   Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (07/09/09):  MATT HARDY'S GUNT!   Just when you thought that he had to "dry up the sea" only because he needed that much water to wash down all that food with, Matt Hardy himself *FINALLY* explains his strange weight-gain...with THE MOST DISTURBING PHOTO EVER. Or, so you thought! Ahem. Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (07/20/09): FEED HIM IF YOU CAN!  Tazz finally makes his debut in the Impact Zone (coincidentally my nickname for my girlfriend's ass) --only built like a 1960's TV robot! Looks like that no-compete clause didn't include fast food restaurants! Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (07/21/09):   TIME TO PLAY THE GOLLUM!   I think it's safe to say that the only reason Triple H doesn't know what a "Hobbit" is, is because he was a little too preoccupied with this all-too-relatable kindred spirit--Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: AND NOW FOR SOMETHING STUPID~!: THE LOST LINDA MCMAHON FOR U.S. SENATE AD~! (VIDEO)  (09/30/09): The following, umm, political ad is paid for by Linda McMahon and sponsor. Linda McMahon: Today the Senate. Tomorrow the World! Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (10/28/09)-  HULK HOGAN'S FIRST OFFICIAL TNA GIMMICK REVEALED~!  CLICK HERE TO VIEW.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (02/03/10)- Leno or Conan? Whatever. FINALLY. THERE'S A MOVEMENT FOR THE REST OF US. CLICK HERE TO VIEW.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (02/11/10)-  "VAN" ARCHER. Tell me I'm wrong. CLICK HERE TO VIEW.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (03/10/10)-  MACHO POVICH.  So, the rumor is out that Stephanie McMahon is pregnant with child # 3. But just who is the baby-daddy? Maury has our *official *results! Dig it. CLICK HERE TO VIEW.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: 03/17/10-  MR. ANDERSON!  And yes, it's EXACTLY what you think. CLICK HERE TO VIEW.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (04/15/10)- After threatening the life of Vince Russo and looking for a potential way to murder him without ever getting caught, I came to one conclusion:  JIM CORNETTE IS DEXTER! First one to scale the pole and grab the kill-kit wins!  CLICK HERE TO VIEW.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (05/05/10)- KEVIN NASH GOODFELLAS OIL PAINTING. Just Because. Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (05/26/10)-  GOODBYE HEATH SLATER: A.K.A HIS MOM, CHER, IS GONNA BE PISSED! Click HERE to view.

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (06/14/10)- DRAGONE: BRYAN DANIELSON VS. MATTEL! With (unsubstantiated) rumors swirling that Mattel may have played a part in Danielson's firing, there's no better time to introduce a brand new toyline! Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (08/18/10)-UNDERTAKER PULLED FROM VEGETATIVE STATE: THE *EXCLUSIVE* PHOTO~!   Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (08/27/10) -  HHHEADS WILL ROLL.  Apparently, HHH and Stephanie  welcomed daughter # 3 into the world yesterday - and yes, it inspired this obvious joke. (sue me.).   Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (09/09/10) -  BECAUSE SOMETIMES NO WORDS ARE NECESSARY.  Sometimes I photoshop things for no good reason. This is one of those times. Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (09/23/10) -  HBKILL: SHAWN MICHAELS, ANNIHILATING GODLESS KILLING MACHINES IN THE NAME OF GOD. (OK, Not Really). You've likely already seen the infamous HBK hunting photos. Now watch me beat one-note jokes into the ground. Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (10/10/10) -  BIEBERMANIA: OR HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OBVIOUS JOKE FIRST). Rumors are swirling that Justin Bieber may perform at Wrestlemania. Thus I create a Wrestlemania moment for all of us~! Click HERE to view!

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (11/23/10) -  THE (WRESTLING) RING: THE MIZ VS. THE ANGRY EVIL FAN-GIRL FROM RAW~!).  Like you didn't see this gag coming... Click HERE to view!

Sean Carless is a man of many hats. And he wears those hats to cover an ever-increasing bald spot. Sean's various scribblings have been read at Live Audio Wrestling, 411 Mania, Honky Tonk Man.com, The Toronto Star.com, Wrestlecrap, and Lethal Wrestling. He has also cured AIDS.

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TWF FLASHBACK

November 2006

SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!

by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).