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BLFK PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY:
FEED ME IF YOU CAN!

Huh. Who knew that FTW really stood for FOOD TASTES WONDERFUL?

Ah, I kid. But seriously though, if you watched Victory Road last night (which was more like Cul-De-Sac if you ask me, because holy shit, we never really go anywhere) you'd have witnessed Taz's long-awaited Debut with TNA as Samoa Joe's advisor/ frequent dinner companion. What a combo! But hey, at least this means there's a good chance Joe will finally shed some poundage. Three quarters of the food is now accounted for! YES. Two squat fat guys getting together who love eating and then choking the life out of people. And here I thought I was the only one.

But hey, I can't complain. Taz is back! Yay! And yes, he's actually called Taz, and wasn't run through the TNA/WWE name machine with some gay-assed shit like Phan Taztic or Rocky T. Busta or something. He's just Taz.  Just like he was in ECW-- only after he consumed the Full Blooded Italians, bones and all.  Jesus Christ. My 1984 G1 Optimus Prime is more svelte in the upper-body than this poor cube-shaped bastard looked out there in that suit. Holy shit, I didn't know Maytag was designing men's apparel now! He's the only guy I know who's tailor measures his inseam with a T-Square!

So, ya, Taz is built like a fridge. And I kept wondering if when if the next time he throws a suplex, a crisper will come flying out and the ring will be filled with condiments, lettuce and ice-cubes. FEED HIM IF YOU CAN. SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU.

 I'm Sean.
And my smarky bullshit aside, I still marked like a Mo'fo. And then left 2001 when that expression was last relevant by way of time machine.

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TWF FLASHBACK

November 2006

SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!

by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).