BLFK PHOTOSHOP OF THE
THE SECRET OF
BATISTA'S CONSTANT TITLE
Ever wonder how it is that Batista
receives so many nonsensical World
Title opportunities that even Triple H is heard
saying "Who's this guy fucking?...and do they
have room for one more?"
Ever wondered if Batista
secretly receives shot after shot-- despite having
the physical constitution of Mr. Glass with
Parkinson's-- because he *maybe* allows Vince
McMahon to sit on a stool in the corner of the locker
room and masturbate whilst Big Dave rubs in baby
lotion, performs most muscular and unloads an entire
round of imaginary bullets from his invisible
Gatling gun in the chairman's general direction?
Umm, no, you haven't? Not ever? It's just
me? I'll shut up then. Ahem.
Turns out it the answer is
much simpler. It was *really* due to a
worn-out, useless relic from the 80's that really
serves no purpose anymore! (not Hulk Hogan. Although it
too can elevate you to the top of the game without
having ever really expended any time or energy or having
any natural ability whatsoever!.). I'm of course talking
about the Game Genie! It's true! And holy shit that
was a long drawn-out set-up for a one-note joke.
SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!
With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).