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BLFK PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY:
THE SECRET OF BATISTA'S CONSTANT TITLE CHANCES
Ever wonder how it is that Batista receives so many nonsensical World Title opportunities that even Triple H is heard saying "Who's this guy fucking?...and do they have room for one more?"
 
 Ever wondered if Batista secretly receives shot after shot-- despite having the physical constitution of Mr. Glass with Parkinson's-- because he *maybe* allows Vince McMahon to sit on a stool in the corner of the locker room and masturbate whilst Big Dave rubs in baby lotion, performs most muscular and unloads an entire round of imaginary bullets from his invisible Gatling gun in the chairman's general direction? Umm, no, you haven't? Not ever? It's just me? I'll shut up then. Ahem.
 
Turns out it  the answer is much simpler. It was *really* due to a worn-out, useless relic from the 80's that really serves no purpose anymore! (not Hulk Hogan. Although it too can elevate you to the top of the game without having ever really expended any time or energy or having any natural ability whatsoever!.). I'm of course talking about the Game Genie! It's true! And holy shit that was a long drawn-out set-up for a one-note joke. Yup.
 
I'm Sean.

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TWF FLASHBACK

November 2006

SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!

by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).