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BLFK PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY:
BIEBERMANIA:
OR HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OBVIOUS JOKE FIRST.
 
There is currently a rumor floating out there (festering?), that JUSTIN BIEBER of all people may be in line to perform (into an auto-tune machine) AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL. And while this may please 13 year old girls everywhere, Jerry Lawler, who looks forward to seeing that many 13 year olds in one place at one time under the same roof, and even 18 year old lesbians who often mistake The Bieb for one their own, this isn't exactly sitting too well with wrestling's *true* demographic - those men who'd show their  *true* physical outrage over this blight if only walking up their basement stairs wasn't getting so difficult.
 
That said, while I myself could join in this visceral hate, I thought I'd instead EMBRACE this news, and eventually bask in the sustaining tears of  little girls everywhere who'll likely cry the night of Wrestlemania, wondering why so many fat guys hate their helmet-headed lothario. But in the meantime, I thought I'd create the FOLLOWING WRESTLEMANIA MOMENT, seen  to a packed house of male Bieber fans!
 
 
But hey, in the case Bieber's little helmet comes loose and is lost forever during the  Orton-punt-exchange, I have fortunately found him a new one below. And the good news is , as you can see, I doubt anyone will even notice the difference...
 
 
I'm Sean.
And I'll never masturbate to Ellen Page again. Maybe.

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TWF FLASHBACK

November 2006

SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!

by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).