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BLFK PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY:
HBKILL:
SHAWN MICHAELS, ANNIHILATING GODLESS KILLING MACHINES IN THE NAME OF GOD.
(OK, Not really).

There was once a glorious time when Shawn Michaels' biggest claim to fame was valiantly and effortlessly carrying cumbersome giants. WELL, now he's doing it again... LITERALLY~! (And then loading said body into a flat-bed en route to being made into a rug.).
 
That said, just in case you haven't seen the infamous pics stirring up controversy online (seen HERE and HERE in better clarity), HBK recently traveled to the YUKON of all places, to hunt bear, much to the joy no doubt of Stephen Colbert, where he soon bagged the following furball with of all things a bow - reputedly handed to him by EARL HEBNER. (or not). 
 
 
Did I mention he was hunting in Canada? DO HIS INJUSTICES AGAINST THE GREAT WHITE NORTH TRULY NEVER END? I can imagine him being questioned by the  park ranger soon after and feigning innocence. "I had no fucking idea! God as my fucking witness! My hands are fucking clean on this one, I swear to god!" Hell, that's probably Terrible Ted, the friendly wrestling bear that lived many a year under the Hart Family's porch! SHAWN - 2  HARTS - 0!
 
However, hunting ethics aside - and believe me, there's a huge debate ensuing online over the morality of Shawn's bear slaying, the first time a Christian has not only faced a mauling man-eater outside the Roman Coliseum in 2000 years, but triumphed -HBK has since gone on record saying he will not keep the body, instead donating the meat (much like he did with Sunny in 1996), to hungry families - families that better get used to the *same* meal for the next 6 months, AMIRITE?!
 
Kid: "Bear again? Couldn't that guy hunt, I don't know, a fucking cow? What is this, 1860's Montana? Who eats bear? Seriously!"
 
So, ya. Make of that what you will, whatever side of the food chain you side with. (it's like Montreal all over again! Only with more bears! Or any!). 
 
BUT HEY, IT WOULDN'T BE TWF IF WE DIDN'T MAKE A JOKE YOU SAW COMING A MILE AWAY - kind of like fat guys in orange hats & camouflage -  so here we go, BREAKING NEWZ: THE *TRUE, LEGIT, REAL-LIFE* WAY HBK BROUGHT DOWN THAT BEAR:

 
The real trick was not only sneaking up on it from behind, but not startling it away altogether as you menacingly stomp you foot in the bushes, waiting for it to turn around....
 
I'm Sean,
And I had another joke all lined up about news reaching WWE that HBK was hunting & killing BEARS, so Steve Lombardi got scared and went into hiding. Luckily I didn't go through with it. Ahem.

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TWF FLASHBACK

November 2006

SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!

by Sean Carless

With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views ) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.).